Hello.

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Hello everyone.

I would like to introduce myself. My name is Tim. I am from Washington State. I live in the rainy foothills of the Northern Cascades. I am 28 years old, soon to be 29. I have lived in the same county, here at the gateway to the North Cascade National Park, for all of my life. And just like my location, I have been overweight for all of my life.

For as long as I can remember I have been heavy. The first time I ever really knew that I was overweight was in grade school. I can remember the 3rd grade, we had to do a mandatory fitness type exam. Push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, sprints. Of course they measure our height and weight. And while I was among the average for most of the categories, my weight was above average for my class. I wasn't ridiculed for it at that age. But it was just the start of what would become a life of unhealthy living. I continued to grow, in age and size.

By the time I was 16 I was 300 lbs. I never really looked at myself in disgust. I knew I was overweight, I accepted it. I was a fat guy. There are lots of fat people in the world and I am one of them. I didn't hate myself for it. But I did get ridiculed by those around me. I would often be poked fun of and teased. It was just how life was. During this time I began to notice the pattern of my unhealthy living. I was an emotional overeater. When I was sad or depressed I would eat. And I would not stop eating until I couldn't fit any more. I got comfort from being full, not just full, but overly full. I was dealing with a lot of life issues at this time and I became severely depressed. Of course, I reached for what comforted me. Food. I could eat 4 microwave burritos and a box of mac n cheese just for dinner. It was very unhealthy.

Of course I was consuming too much and not getting any exercise. So I got bigger. By age 24 I was 400lbs. I was basically a homebody. I was dealing with many of my own disorders other than my unhealthy eating. Anxiety, Depression, Panic attacks, Agoraphobia. They all kept me home, kept me down, and kept me hungry.

The big breaking moment for me, was one day when I was talking to my therapist. A discussion which I do not believe I should share, but the end result was her telling me that I was unattractive. I do not believe she meant it in a malicious way, but she said it. I was unattractive. I was fat. At that moment, I knew I had to change my life. I had nothing left in life to lose.

I began to watch what I ate and how I lived. I didn't exercise much but I did begin to count my calories and the weight did come off. It has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs, both emotionally and physically. Battling depression that causes you to overeat is not easy. I lost a lot of weight. At my "lowest", I had a recorded weight of 234lbs. I was very proud of that weight. But I didn't achieve it through healthy methods. I was nearly starving myself to achieve it. I started to eat normally again after that weight recording. Bumping my calories up to nearly 2000. But I started to balloon up. I would be gaining pounds a day. And I shortly found myself up to 250. It made me depressed to be back up here, and with some additional things in my life bringing me down, I resorted to my old ways. I began eating and eating.

I now sit at 300 lbs. 299.3 to be exact. I am not happy. I am very unhappy actually. But I need to do this. I need to lose weight. I need to bring myself down back to where I can wear the clothes I purchased. I am down to wearing 3 shirts, ones I had saved to be my "fat shirts". My old clothes no longer fit me comfortably and I am in a panic. I have been to this website several times. I have tried it and then got lazy and stopped keeping up on it. I need to be accountable. I need to hold myself accountable. I need to do this.

My name is Tim. I enjoy reading, watching foreign films, playing video games, and going for road trips. I would like to lose 100lbs. I would like to get there by the time I am 30. When I get to my goal, I plan to purchase a new suit for myself in celebration. I have never owned a suit.

If you managed to read this far, I thank you for letting me share my story. It is not easy for me to share it.

Replies

  • JustSomeEm
    JustSomeEm Posts: 20,212 MFP Moderator
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    Welcome, Tim! MFP is a great place to help you take back control of your weight/health. You've got this. :)
  • Kellie82much
    Kellie82much Posts: 73 Member
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    Welcome!
    I did manage to read your entire story. You are very eloquent and honest in telling it.
    You can do this! That's not just lip service. You know how to over eat and you know how to starve yourself, now it's time to LEARN how to eat.
    We're all here on MFP for the same reason so we might as well build a support system to help us along the way.
  • skimthesurface
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    Hi Tim!

    I love reading and road trips also! AND I'm new to this site too. (So much in common! =D) I read your story and found it very moving. Thank you for having the courage to post it. The awesome thing about reaching out to people is that someone is always there to help. I hope that you reach your goal, and please reach out if you every need a hand.
  • FattyFatsoMcTubby
    FattyFatsoMcTubby Posts: 170 Member
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    Hi Tim. You are not alone. There are many of us with similar stories here. Best of luck on your journey; I am rooting for you.
  • LiveLoveLift67
    LiveLoveLift67 Posts: 895 Member
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    Hello Tim

    I am sorry that your therapist told you that. It was an ugly thing to say to someone no matter how it was meant. However , i am glad it has inspired you to take back your health. The hell with looks, its about being healthy and doing it the right way. I have no doubt that you will be able to achieve your goals. If they are important to you , it will happen. I also want you to always remember you are Beautiful ( man or woman). I would love to be able to see a picture of you in your suit as well.

    You are not alone in this. Whether the goal is 10 pounds or 100 lbs you can do it. When i started losing my weight i decided that i was going to do it 1 pound at a time. 80 llbs sounds like alot but i know i can lose 1 lb eighty times. Its about your mindset. As you start to eat better you will feel better and that will make you want to do more . Celebrate every success you have ( just not with food lol) .

    Good luck on your journey and if you need a friend to help along the way please feel free to add me.
  • GalactusEmpire
    GalactusEmpire Posts: 90 Member
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    Thank you. You all took the time to read my story and comment, thank you very much. You are very kind. I well do my best. I appreciate your words of encouragement and your warm welcome.
  • carisone
    carisone Posts: 31 Member
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    Hi Tim! I am new to this site too and I have tried and failed A LOT. Your story is heartwarming in that you haven't given up, you are here and you will achieve your goal. I sent you a friend request, maybe we can help each other through :)
  • Sweetie_darling
    Sweetie_darling Posts: 123 Member
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    Welcome Tim :)

    Glad your here and wanting to get healthy. You deserve health and happiness :heart:

    Feel free to add me if you are after some friends.

    Best of luck Xx
  • CindyMarcuzAdams
    CindyMarcuzAdams Posts: 4,006 Member
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    Hi Tim. Friends are a good thing on here. Feel free to add me.
    Cindy
  • JoeMO
    JoeMO Posts: 524 Member
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    Hey Tim, we have some similarities and some differences. I post on and read a thread called, "Anyone doing any hiking?" and "Move Your *kitten* Challenge" You might find these of interest to you. Many of my fitness pal friends enjoy hiking and backpacking and I've found them on the hiking thread. Go to these threads and start reading. Look up other threads or start your own on the comic books and such. I'm sure there is one or several on reading. Hang in there, write down everything you eat, read the Success pages, look at this post http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/833026-important-posts-to-read , eat the grapes spit out the seeds. Best of luck to you. I'm a little jealous of where you live, the Cascades are awesome. Joe
  • graci0221
    graci0221 Posts: 34 Member
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    You are definitely not alone and if you just take one day at a time, you will get to your goal. Keep your chin up and good luck!

    Feel free to add me you'd like :)