Struggling, Need support, and advice.

One day when your truly ready to change your lifestyle, it will happen for you. But that has to come from within yourself.

Don't beat yourself up. You are not alone. Here are a few tricks that seem to of helped me.
One of the most important is do things that will help you see results and relapse. By that I mean actually look in a mirror every day. Also get rid of clothing that becomes loose on you. Keeping loose clothing is like giving yourself a out. If you have to wear tight clothes, you will do one of two things. Change what you are eating and exercise. Or go out and buy bigger clothes. The point is your clothes will tell you when you gain a couple pounds back. That is a much easier place to gain control of what you are doing.
Two: Before you even go to the store, make a list. I don't care if you are running in a hurry. How long does it take to write a few things down. If you don't buy crap there isn't crap to eat. And ALWAYS shop from the walls of the store in. At least 75% of your shopping should be from the walls of the store. In other words non-processed. Think about the lay out of any food store. Fruits/Veggies in one corner, Deli/Meat along the back wall, Dairy back wall, get the picture? Middle isle usually hold all the processed crap.
Three: eat things like tuna salad. If you need a sandwich use sandwich thins not bread. If you must eat bread use low calorie bread. And whole wheat isn't always whole wheat. And latest studies show it many not be the cure all.
Four: This is big. No Carbonated drinks. Carbonated flavored waters are not the answer either. Imagine filling a balloon half way with carbonated anything. What would happen to the other half of the balloon? Yep you got it. The gas expands the entire balloon. And what happens to the balloon? It never goes back down to it's original size. What do you think happens to your stomach?
Five: Most important, Tell yourself every morning "I am worth the time and effort to get this right. Every year I get older, and every year it will be harder. So today is the best day."
You are the difference. It is o.k. to say no to friends and family. I don't care who's birthday it is, you aren't going to change their world by eating a piece of cake. I just tell the host before I even go to the gathering. I am going to stop by, but I request you not even ask me if I would like a piece of cake. It is much easier to say no without seeing it in the first place. Also if you have a partner. Ask them not to go to Starbucks, Dairy Queen or fast food. If you must eat out. Go sit down and make good choices. And don't look for full. Look for not hungry. Slowly you will find you are eating less by the nature of eating until you are not hungry. It will take less and less food to get there.
I hope some of this will help you. I have worked really hard to loose 30 plus pounds. I still have 30 to go.

I can try to be there and be supportive through the good and bad times. Sent a FR your way

That's what's hard I really truely want this. I keep having set backs.

Yep. I said I "really wanted to lose" for years too, but I was just talking the talk. It takes discipline and forming new habits to begin to walk the walk. Eating gluten when you know it causes you pain is just one example. Determine what your setbacks are and then work to get them out of your way.

When you are ready to lose the weight, you will. It will be your purpose. It will be important enough that you will no longer let excuses get in your way.

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
-Wayne Dyer

Read these:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13

TL:DR to read the link right above then ->http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet

If you have 75+ lbs to lose 2 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 40-75 lbs to lose 1.5 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 25-40 lbs to lose 1 lbs/week is ideal
If you have 15 -25 lbs to lose 0.5 to 1.0 lbs/week is ideal
If you have less than 15 lbs to lose 0.5 lbs/week is ideal

Want to lift heavy things?
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

Stronglifts Summary
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/560459-stronglifts-5x5-summary

Stronglifts Womens Group
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/4601-stronglifts-5x5-for-women

Don't beat yourself up. You are not alone. Here are a few tricks that seem to of helped me.
One of the most important is do things that will help you see results and relapse. By that I mean actually look in a mirror every day. Also get rid of clothing that becomes loose on you. Keeping loose clothing is like giving yourself a out. If you have to wear tight clothes, you will do one of two things. Change what you are eating and exercise. Or go out and buy bigger clothes. The point is your clothes will tell you when you gain a couple pounds back. That is a much easier place to gain control of what you are doing.
Two: Before you even go to the store, make a list. I don't care if you are running in a hurry. How long does it take to write a few things down. If you don't buy crap there isn't crap to eat. And ALWAYS shop from the walls of the store in. At least 75% of your shopping should be from the walls of the store. In other words non-processed. Think about the lay out of any food store. Fruits/Veggies in one corner, Deli/Meat along the back wall, Dairy back wall, get the picture? Middle isle usually hold all the processed crap.
Three: eat things like tuna salad. If you need a sandwich use sandwich thins not bread. If you must eat bread use low calorie bread. And whole wheat isn't always whole wheat. And latest studies show it many not be the cure all.
Four: This is big. No Carbonated drinks. Carbonated flavored waters are not the answer either. Imagine filling a balloon half way with carbonated anything. What would happen to the other half of the balloon? Yep you got it. The gas expands the entire balloon. And what happens to the balloon? It never goes back down to it's original size. What do you think happens to your stomach?
Five: Most important, Tell yourself every morning "I am worth the time and effort to get this right. Every year I get older, and every year it will be harder. So today is the best day."
You are the difference. It is o.k. to say no to friends and family. I don't care who's birthday it is, you aren't going to change their world by eating a piece of cake. I just tell the host before I even go to the gathering. I am going to stop by, but I request you not even ask me if I would like a piece of cake. It is much easier to say no without seeing it in the first place. Also if you have a partner. Ask them not to go to Starbucks, Dairy Queen or fast food. If you must eat out. Go sit down and make good choices. And don't look for full. Look for not hungry. Slowly you will find you are eating less by the nature of eating until you are not hungry. It will take less and less food to get there.
I hope some of this will help you. I have worked really hard to loose 30 plus pounds. I still have 30 to go.

I think you are giving some great advice, but I am not certain you're right regarding carbonated drinks - I don't think your body works like that re trapped gas, it would hurt much more if so. Some people don't tolerate them well, but if they're sugar free, I find them to be a big help to at least feeling a little more full for a while. Not to put too fine a point on it, but if you have too much fizzy stuff, you're going to know about it... :laugh:

Start counting your calories now before you reduce your daily calorie intake. It was an eye opener for me. I tracked all my calories for two weeks before switching to what I do now. It was incredible to see just how much I was eating and at what time of the day I was eating everything. Eating at night was the hardest thing to change and I still get cravings.
The best thing I did was clean out the kitchen and get rid of everything that was empty calories. I also made up healthy snacks ready to go for those times in between meals.
I pretty much just told myself that I am doing this. I didn't wait to start or start on a Monday, or the beginning of a month, I told myself that I have to change and I am the only one who can do it, and its got to start now.
I struggle because of my family and what they want to eat or when they bring junk food home. I just tell myself that its fat in a bag, and I am not going to eat fat anymore. I am not going to be fat anymore. I am taking the fat suit off.

Hey there!

I hope you are doing OK...I completely feel your pain. I am super impatient myself :noway: but I have had to adjust my expectations in this area.

I have lost about 23lbs since I really kicked my cardio and strength fitness into gear in November 2013. It feels like it's taking forever, HOWEVER; good things take time!

I was fed up with the yo-yo dieting and low self esteem, so I have changed my way of thinking:

1. This effort, all this work, sweat, pain, habitual food tracking...it's all a life style change. I'm not doing this for a quick fix, I'm doing this to extend my life span and be as healthy as possible.

2. Stop focusing on the numbers! I weigh myself 1-2 times a month at the most...it's easy to get discouraged when you're staring at a scale (especially as a female - if we get caught in the rain or drink a beer, it adds 10lbs lol). The thing is, when you do the right stuff, your body responds positively. Side note: I'd rather weigh more if I know it's because of more muscle!!

3. Identify an exercise routine that helps keep you motivated. I am a Gemini so I need lots of things going on to keep my interest, even with exercise. I do many different hings from walking (with or without my dogs), jogging (when I feel like it!), Xbox Fitness sessions (cardio kickboxing, Insanity, Zumba, & P90X just to name a few!). Remember, I couldn't always do this level of physical activity and it took many months for my body to respond positively. Just take it slow, but make it fun!! You're more likely to stick with it if you enjoy what you're doing. Whenever I felt like I didn't want to work out, I either sucked it up and felt better about doing the workout OR I just made peace and decided to try again the next day (same attitude with diet - If I have a 'bad' day, oh well, tomorrow is another day!)

4. Lastly, I stopped comparing myself to everyone else. Sure, I admire everyone that has accomplished what they set out to do, but I am no longer comparing their journey to mine (this is another good way to get discouraged!!). I am unique!!! You are unique and you should only do what works for you.

Anyway, I'm off my soap box...I hope it helps you at least a little bit. Feel free to add me as a friend, if you like! I'm a daily logger and habitual tracker of food and activities.:glasses:

Good luck!

Stephanie :drinker:

That's what's hard I really truely want this. I keep having set backs.

Yep. I said I "really wanted to lose" for years too, but I was just talking the talk. It takes discipline and forming new habits to begin to walk the walk. Eating gluten when you know it causes you pain is just one example. Determine what your setbacks are and then work to get them out of your way.

When you are ready to lose the weight, you will. It will be your purpose. It will be important enough that you will no longer let excuses get in your way.

Exactly this. People who successfully lose weight make the decision and commitment and then they make it happen. Motivation isn't required to be successful, commitment is.

http://www.vicmagary.com/blog/fitness-motivation/

I had a bunch of false starts before it all clicked. Just keep at it and try not to be mad at yourself. One thing if you stop thinking of it as a diet it takes a lot of pressue off. A diet has an end and a lifestyle does not.

I'm struggling with maintenance so know that you aren't alone :happy:

I starts consulting a psychologist to find out why I was overeating even though I knew that I was slowly destroying myself. Sometimes, it has nothing to do with willpower. I haven't weighed in in a long while because of all the negative stuff I would tell myself after. My process will take a very long time but I will get there. Sometimes, you need to fix the inside while you're fixing the outside as well. Patience!

Great advice. Thanks.

Two suggestions, find what your food triggers are - eating out of boredom? Stress? In front of the TV?

Once you have established the triggers, find a replacement for resorting to food when you feel the triggers and even make a list and stick it on your fridge of all the things you can do instead of eating when you feel bored or stressed.

Examples, if you're in front of the TV and you want to snack on chips or ice-cream etc. Instead make yourself a bowl of fruit salad or some cut up fruit and dip. Or a smoothie you can sip on.

If you're stressed and want to order take-away or eat something unhealthy, instead go for a walk, call a friend to chat, take a hot bath, take a drive to a scenic place.

Everyone is different and we each need to find our own method, and it doesn't require being yelled at and berated by a crazy trainer!!

Take baby steps, break it all down in to manageable tasks and accomplish one at a time. Once you get in to new healthy habits, it will become a part of your new life.

Writing things down, posting motivational quotes and pictures in places you'll see them, reading fitness blogs etc will remind you what you want to achieve and keep it as a daily focus.

You can do anything, but it needs to be your way - not someone else's way.

I totally get what you are saying. For me, I usually last about 2 months and then fall off the wagon. This time I'm doing well and have kept it up for almost 4 months. For me, I think what is different this time is that I've accepted this is going to take a long time. The first 10-20lbs are easy to lose. They happen pretty quickly and that is very motivating. As my weight loss slows down, I lose interest.

I realized that I can't stop living because I'm on a diet. If I want something (usually alcohol is my problem) I have it. I don't beat myself up about it. Then I will get right back on the wagon and do an extra hour at the gym or eat super healthy for the rest of the week. As I see more and more results I want the bad thing less.

For me, I have to look at the overall picture and not the 30+ lbs I want to lose. If you focus on what you want to lose and it doesn't happen fast enough then you are setting yourself up to fail. Look at the big picture. Sure, I have a big *kitten*...but it's smaller than it was yesterday and tomorrow it will likely be smaller still.

Feel free to send me a friend request.