Lazy Girl...HELP!

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So here's a long preamble where I tell you my deal...I'm incredibly lazy. I don't know where I get it from. Perhaps its a rebellion against my always busy parents. Or maybe no one was around enough when I was younger to show me how to clean or that keeping a tidy house takes effort. Whatever the reason, I'm lazy. Don't get me wrong. I'm incredibly productive at work. I have two master's degrees and am starting a new graduate program in July. I volunteer on Saturdays at a thirft store to help end homelessness in my community. But when it comes to doing things for myself, for things of which I get no accolades or recognition, like doing laundry in a timely manner or de-cluttering my apartment, cleaning out my car, settling in to do some blogging or story writing, to sit down and look for new jobs, etc. I can easily dismiss the idea.

For a long time, this eager to dismiss came from the belief that I just wasn't good enough. I shouldn't waste my time trying to write because no one will even like it. Don't bother looking for a job because you're too dumb to get hired. On and on.

I know that this might not seem weight-related, but for me it is. When I think of how much I'm not doing that I could be doing, how much time I've wasted just laid out in front of the TV watching The Office for the 5th time, I get depressed. And depression breeds bingeing. It's cycle of shame, guilt, and regret. I want to teach myself to keep busy because I know being busy keeps bingeing at bay.

I love the notion of being productive and keeping busy. I've tried to-do lists, apps, reminders, setting a schedule, time management techniques, but none of it seems to help. I'd love to hear if anyone else experienced this problem and if they've beat it to become a more productive, goal-oriented person.
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Replies

  • KariOrtiz2014
    KariOrtiz2014 Posts: 343 Member
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    First off, you are apparently NOT dumb.

    I suffer from this lazy crap too. The way I've dealt with it is just by doing. I know it seems hard. But everytime you get up and do something, you're actually becoming that goal oriented person you want to be. Shake it off and get up! You can do this!!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    I'm lazy as hell too and it has nothing to do with my weight, it's just part of who I am. It's much more fun to sit around and watch silly videos on YouTube and/or play on my tablet than clean the house...obviously.

    I've learned to play mind games with myself. I have to switch off the TV and put the tablet away until the housework is done. I'll allow myself to take breaks sometimes if I'm doing some above and beyond cleaning (like washing the windows) but will set a timer so I only have 10-15 minutes then I have to get going again.

    Once I'm done with what I need to do, I can sit around all I want satisfied with a job well done. It takes some time to break the old habits but you can do it if you really want to.
  • hoyalawya2003
    hoyalawya2003 Posts: 631 Member
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    I would recommend that you check out FLY lady. She has an awesome website, sends emails with daily tasks, and helps you get on a schedule to keep clean. FLY stands for "finally loving yourself", which I think is an great way to look at it. I don't follow her program religiously, but some of her hints have stuck with me--doing something for 15 minutes at a time to avoid being overwhelmed, doing one load of laundry a day (which sometimes happens and sometimes doesn't!) I don't know if posting a link in the boards is ok (I don't have any affiliation, I swear!) but her website is flylady dot net.
  • HerbertNenenger
    HerbertNenenger Posts: 453 Member
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    For me, the act of moving produces more motivation. When I feel like I've accomplished something and I feel the endorphins from a good bout of exercise being released, it spurs me to do more. If you're a tv/movie freak (like myself), keep something in the living room to jump on and do during commercial breaks. Make it a goal that during one show, exercise during every commercial break. You can get in a good bit that way, and kill two birds with entertainment and health.
    I keep a Simply Fit board (it's a crossover balance and twist board, is silent, small, and gets a good burn on), and a T-Bow board in the living room. I also keep some dumbbells in there. If I'm sitting on the sofa and they're staring me in the face, it's like the angel on the shoulder, telling you to do something good

    With that said, exercise is great for your heart, your health and your state of mind, but it doesn't play a huge factor in weight loss unless that's all you do for hours per day. If your major concern is weight loss, you need to focus on your diet, and exercise will help nudge it along.
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 467 Member
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    I guess my advice, take it or leave it, is this. You are very aware of the problem. You either want to change it or you don't, and you know that YOU are the only person who can change this quality about you. It's tough, I know. I work 40 hours a week, have 2 teenage girls, a fiance, and 3 dogs, and a house to run/keep clean, but my choice is that if I don't take care of me and be productive, that I am the one that suffers first and foremost and everyone else would suffer as well. So I choose me!! I choose to make sure I am eating well, I choose to work out every day, even on the days I don't feel like it, because once I start making excuses like, "It's just one day, what does it hurt", that is when it begins trickle down into the next day and the next, and truthfully I am WORTH the work, and so are you!! Feeling bad? Going to sit down and watch The Office again?? Realize that is the source of the problem, put on a pair of tennis shoes a go outside and take a nice walk!! You are worth it and you CAN do it!
  • tinkbaby101
    tinkbaby101 Posts: 180 Member
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    I have a tendency to be lazy, also. I've adopted a "for five minutes" philosophy. Instead of telling myself I'll do something IN 5 minutes, I do it FOR 5 minutes. I used to set a timer, even, so I could go back to being lazy the moment those 5 minutes were up. Now I don't, and I have a greater tendency to finish my task before lazy-butting. I also agree with the previous poster, about checking out flylady, though even that I wasn't able to stick with. :laugh:

    Also, if you're suffering from depression, have you considered speaking with a therapist or your doctor about it? I lost my job over depression once upon a time (and our house looked... well... I wont even go there!), and I know how debilitating it can be. The good news is, exercise is an incredible antidepressant! Chances are, if you get yourself moving, you'll experience fewer depression symptoms. Still, worthy of speaking to your doctor about.

    Good luck! Go do something for 5 minutes. :wink:
  • AmyG1982
    AmyG1982 Posts: 1,040 Member
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    I'm lazy too. and also suffer some mild depression from time-to-time. I find if I can make one small change in a positive way it snowballs into bigger things. I rode my bike halfway to work yesterday (lol I'm not fit enough to do the whole trip so I drive to a park and ride from there). After riding home I was exhausted but had some extra energy at the same time which made me make dinner and do my laundry. small steps. When I go for several days of making small changes all of a sudden my kitchen is clean and my tub is scrubbed. For me its finding that baby step I can handle. I'm finding it more likely to happen when I do it as part of my commute. All I have to do is force myself to bike to work and I have no choice but to bike home from work and then I just keep going. Then all those positive changes start to help with the depression. I always feel happier when I've accomplished some stuff and when my house is clean. So just try to find your baby step :)
  • cmiller224
    cmiller224 Posts: 158
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    I use to be so lazy and still have my days. My key to getting up and moving is music. I find if I get up eat, chill for a bit and then turn on some music and dance my way through a clean house. By the time I am done I am looking for something else to do. I also drink a lot of water now instead of pop and other things. I realize now that lots of the foods I was eating were making me crash.
  • erelyl
    erelyl Posts: 48 Member
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    Yup, i'm a lazy bum too :) But i'm getting better! Since i bought a house last year i find i'm much more motivated to keep my space well taken care of. I guess because it's finally MINE. I still use every shortcut possible though. I just paid way too much money for a robot vacuum. Actually, not too much, it was worth every penny, my floors look great now LOL

    My current method is to do one or two small tasks each evening, usually right after i get home and before i sit myself down. Once i curl up in front of the computer i know i'm not doing anything else, so i have to put that moment off until i accomplish at least a few things. Then the bigger stuff gets done in a block on Saturday mornings. I hate cleaning. I'm naturally not a neat person, but be damned if i'm not going to fake it! I'm no longer ashamed to have someone drop by unexpectedly. Even my mom can come over without me having to scramble to make the place presentable, and that is truly an accomplishment.

    Lazy does mean weight for me as it extends to being too lazy to exercise. I'm very slowly trying to change that as well. Even just ten minutes of a work out video from YouTube, or a quick after supper walk, or a trip to the playground with my kiddo. Definitely better than nothing, and the more i do it the more of a habit i get into.

    Now if only i could train myself to stop procrastinating when it comes to paperwork and stuff.. ugh. Babysteps... can't do it all at once right?
  • FitMe758
    FitMe758 Posts: 177 Member
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    I am SUPERRRRR lazy so here are my tips.

    I won't go into too much detail bc, like I said, I'm lazy but here it goes.

    To maximize productivity in the corporate world I recommend a book called "Getting Things Done" by David Allen.
    When I worked in corporate and applied the principles in this book, I shaved HOURS off my insane work day.
    It's an easy read. But you must implement the suggestions for it to be worth it.

    As for my fit life:

    I realized that I am not as lazy as I always thought. Don't get me wrong, "Sloth" is still one of my deadly sins, but it's not as bad as I thought. It is not that I HATE working out period! I just hate doing most gym workouts.
    The thought of lifting dumbbells and running on a treadmill give me an anxiety attack, that's much I hate it.

    Now, I've had to find ways to enjoy working out.

    For example, I found out years ago that I adore Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai and practicing yoga at a small studio.

    Unfortunately, because of logistics and budget, I can no longer do the only exercise I enjoyed so I had to go back to the drawing board.

    Now, I regularly do the following:

    • Running (Only outside and before sunrise --otherwise it still sucks)
    • Yoga DVDs
    • Pilates DVDs
    • Hula Hoop
    • Barre/baller
    • Trampoline
    and I just started kettlebells (They are awesome!!! so much more fun for me than machines or dumbbells --probably a psychological thing)

    Anyway, the point is that the secret to staying fit and active is finding something that your really enjoy.

    When most people think of "working out" they immediately think: Lifting and Cardio Machine

    Although I really wish I was one of those people with a gym membership that bust their *kitten* efficiently at the gym and just get 'er done; I'm just not one of them.

    There are many, many ways to get fit. Find something that you have fun doing and then creating a habit of it won't feel like a chore, but rather something that you will look forward to.

    Best of luck on your journey. You can do this!!!
  • johnnyhatesjazz
    johnnyhatesjazz Posts: 95 Member
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    I don't think your a lazy. I just think you need a routine..:wink:
  • wibutterflymagic
    wibutterflymagic Posts: 788 Member
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    I guess my advice, take it or leave it, is this. You are very aware of the problem. You either want to change it or you don't, and you know that YOU are the only person who can change this quality about you. It's tough, I know. I work 40 hours a week, have 2 teenage girls, a fiance, and 3 dogs, and a house to run/keep clean, but my choice is that if I don't take care of me and be productive, that I am the one that suffers first and foremost and everyone else would suffer as well. So I choose me!! I choose to make sure I am eating well, I choose to work out every day, even on the days I don't feel like it, because once I start making excuses like, "It's just one day, what does it hurt", that is when it begins trickle down into the next day and the next, and truthfully I am WORTH the work, and so are you!! Feeling bad? Going to sit down and watch The Office again?? Realize that is the source of the problem, put on a pair of tennis shoes a go outside and take a nice walk!! You are worth it and you CAN do it!

    Yep.

    When it comes to keeping my home and such things I too am incredibly lazy. Some of it I think comes from I'd rather do something I enjoy instead of something I don't but there comes a point where you just have to get off your *kitten* and do the stuff. Changes won't happen unless you make an effort and a point to do make the change. I saw a therapist many, many, many years ago about some of this and my depression and she said instead of being all upset about not doing A LOT of work all at once try doing it in smaller chunks. So, today I'm going to dust and feel good about the fact that I did do something instead of being upset that you didn't clean the whole house.

    In the end though it comes down to choices....are we going to CHOOSE to be a lazy fat *kitten* or are we going to get up and do something, that after we do it will make us feel good about the accomplishment?
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
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    I'm a terrible procrastinator! Doing things you need to do needs to become a habit and needs deadlines, like when you were studying.

    Try the 15-minute rule. Set an alarm for 15 minutes, switch everything else off - TV, phone, music, computer - and do just that task. At the end of 15 minutes you can take a break, start another task or set off on the next stage of a bigger task.
    http://simpleprogrammer.com/2012/10/28/my-15-minute-rule-to-productivity/

    There's a more formal version called the Pomodoro Technique:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
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    Henry Ford said: "whether you think you can, or think you can't YOU are right... tie that to everything that you think, say, do, or don't do... YOU SAY, think, feel you are lazy... therefore you ARE. changing your self defeating thought patterns is the only thing that will lead you to succeed...unless you don't want to succeed... THE blame lies solely with YOU... not your parents, not your friends, not your environment, not your genetics.. it lies with YOUR conscious thoughts... and because you are packing a few extra pounds... you give yourself permission to BE... because the alternative involves change... and change is a scary thing...it creates problems... and who needs more problems on top of the health issues you will be or already have developed? YOU have taken a step... you are here... which means at some base level you have decided you need to do something to help yourself... CONGRATULATIONS!!!

    that was the first step and it wasn't so bad was it? ...NOW... all you need is to take the next step in your journey of 10 000 steps...
    BE the person you want to be... don't settle for the person you currently see in the mirror.. are you NOT worth more than that? DO you not deserve more than that?

    whether you think you can, or think you can't....
  • CarrieLincoln
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    To reach goals you must have a vivid image of that goal. How will you feel when you've reached that goal, what will your everyday life be like, how will you know you've reached it? Have a clear picture of that goal, go grab some pictures if that helps you "see it" and start taking small steps daily to get there. Get EXCITED about your goal your future life!! When you do and know exactly where you are going you find the energy and are no longer lazy!

    Start dreaming and making it a reality! You can do it!

    ~Carrie
  • sherambler
    sherambler Posts: 303 Member
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    I have a tendency to be lazy, also. I've adopted a "for five minutes" philosophy. Instead of telling myself I'll do something IN 5 minutes, I do it FOR 5 minutes. I used to set a timer, even, so I could go back to being lazy the moment those 5 minutes were up. Now I don't, and I have a greater tendency to finish my task before lazy-butting. I also agree with the previous poster, about checking out flylady, though even that I wasn't able to stick with. :laugh:

    Also, if you're suffering from depression, have you considered speaking with a therapist or your doctor about it? I lost my job over depression once upon a time (and our house looked... well... I wont even go there!), and I know how debilitating it can be. The good news is, exercise is an incredible antidepressant! Chances are, if you get yourself moving, you'll experience fewer depression symptoms. Still, worthy of speaking to your doctor about.

    Good luck! Go do something for 5 minutes. :wink:

    Yeah, I probably should've mentioned this inthe original post. I have been diagnosed with Major Depression, with a general anxiety disorder and an eating disorder.....all of this, especially the depression, makes it so hard to get up off the couch and do what I know needs to be done.
  • kirili3
    kirili3 Posts: 244 Member
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    Try to create an incentive that you can stick to. Perhaps get someone else to hold you accountable. They don't have to do much, just ask them to ask for a weekly report. Get someone you trust though, it would be really frustrating to have to ask them to ask you to make a report :)

    Also, commit to logging your calories. I did so during exam period, averaging a rather shocking 2600 as exams came closer, but the day they stopped I managed to reign in the eating a bit (going to slip up soon, I'm sure) and I'd made the habit to log the calories, which helps a lot. I've been in the green for the last 6 days, I'm sure a binge is due, but logging in here and seeking inspiration from the forums helps.

    I found that cutting out some addictive behaviours, such as the time spent on the internet (except now, on MFP! but it's healthier, right?!) really helped with my depression, in the sense that I still feel wretched but not quite so low.
  • reynram
    reynram Posts: 3 Member
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    I think we've all gone through this, but it's the getting out of it that is the toughest part! I started a 100 days of fitness and am now on my 25th day. My goal is to exercise for 60 minutes everyday for 100 day and using MFP has given me accountability of what I put in my mouth. I started this, because just like you I was just sitting on the couch watching too much tv. Don't allow yourself to continue this trend. When a commercial comes on, just get up and walk around your coffee table or just get up and walk in place until the commercial is over. Imagine how much exercise you will get done just by doing this. Try it for one day and don't give up! Our bodies need to exercise in order for those endorphins to be released, which in turn bring us happiness!

    You are a smart individual, who just needs a little kick in the butt to get moving! Love yourself, because only you can make yourself happy! You must also stop making excuses for the lazy part! Just get up and get moving! Good luck! We are all here for any moral support!
  • 2013sk
    2013sk Posts: 1,318 Member
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    I think you need to have a bit more faith & confidence in yourself - Believe that you CAN do things!!

    Don't be too harsh on yourself - Yes keep yourself busy, then it wont come to the binges!

    Go out with friends, to the cinema, something fun, something you enjoy, take your mind off food!

    Write a list of goals or things you want to achieve in life, places you wish to see, challenges for yourself, and slowly tick them off!!

    Hey we can all lay on that sofa & do nothing - But then how will you get to where you want to be in life??

    If you want something that bad, You will get up off the sofa & do it!!!

    YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • tinkbaby101
    tinkbaby101 Posts: 180 Member
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    Yeah, I probably should've mentioned this inthe original post. I have been diagnosed with Major Depression, with a general anxiety disorder and an eating disorder.....all of this, especially the depression, makes it so hard to get up off the couch and do what I know needs to be done.

    It's tough! But that doesn't mean you can't get help and change your patterns and circumstances. Sometimes "just doing it" isn't enough, ya know? At the depths of my depression, there's absolutely no way I'd be able to "just do it" and log calories, get up and exercise, clean the house, and so on. I needed help before I could do ANY of that.

    In short, you're NOT lazy! What you're experiencing has nothing to do with laziness. I'd vote it's more likely related to your diagnoses. Are you receiving help for any of it? Because that would be a great place to start, to shed yourself of being "lazy," or the conditions that are causing it, so that you CAN just do it.