I did something scary today

Like the title says, I did something scary today. Something that I never thought that I would be able to do. I bet your curious as to what that is
Well I told (when I say told...does accidentally giving a letter you wrote months ago count?) my mum that I her oldest daughter has a mental health problem. Now some people may say... I don't know... you want a party for that (I would appreciate one thank you by the way) that's nothing compared to what I've been through. Well I'm still relatively young so there hasn't been many chances for scarier things to happen.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say at this moment. It doesn't help that I'm shaking like a leaf right now :ohwell: It seems to have gone well, as well as these things can go I suppose. I feel like the weight's been lifted off my shoulders, I'm just a little scared that someone's gonna throw it back at me...
Why was this so scary? Well I think that everyone with a mental health problem is scared that people will reject them or they'll be treated differently than they were before. That people will see the diagnosis and not the person that they are beneath it.
It feels strange now someone else knows that isn't a member of the team looking after me or my MFP friends... like I've just suddenly ran out into the street stark naked holding a satsuma with googly eyes on it. (for your own safety don't imagine this)
If you've bothered to read this far down the post :bigsmile: you might be wondering what's actually wrong with this girl? Well if you want the big sciencey words here they are for you Undiagnosed Psychosis. Which essentially means I hallucinate (audibly and visually what fun ) and that I don't really fit into any of the conditions in the big book of mental health problems.
I suppose in ways this makes my life a lot more interesting than those of you without an entourage of people following you everywhere and commenting on pretty much everything. But it's also harder. It's very hard for me to concentrate which is a big reason why I'm still unemployed.
Why am I telling this story here? I think that... Well don't we all here have something scary to do. Maybe it's getting on the scales for the first time in years and actually facing the truth square in the face without running away. It could be telling someone that you need their support to get you through something, maybe it's saying that your not okay. You could be like me... there are a lot of us out there.
I've done my scariest thing! I believe that you can too! Maybe it'll happen by accident like mine did or maybe you have to really work yourself up for it. But I know that if this young lass from England can do it you ... you can do it too. I'm cheering you on!

Just don't take four years to do it like me :flowerforyou:
P.s. Wow this is long :bigsmile: