How can I just love and accept my body?

Starbursts786
Starbursts786 Posts: 1
in Motivation and Support
I started going on diets at the age of 12 and always had low self esteem all the damn time. I Thought everyone else was better than me or prettier than me i was the ugly duckling. Just a couple of months ago I was in a horrible relationship and the stress made me gain 5 pounds and everyone started calling me fat. IT HURT SO MUCH and which resulted me to go on another horrible diet and lose 1/3 of my body weight and made me go on a eating disorder. My life revolved around getting to this number on scale. I would not have stopped this diet until I didnt have a panic attack and my doctor told me to stop dieting. Now i have started eating and i feel soo horrible about my body. It makes it even harder because I have a pear shaped body and hate my thick thighs and belly pooch. I can never wear jeans becuz my hips look so damn BIG. I love food alot, I love pigging out, but the guilt and shame after eating makes me want to hate myself. I look at other people and they can eat donuts, cookies, cheese fries,soda,hamburger and not think about weight or weight gain, and me I think sooo much about a food ''of if I eat that I will be fat'' I tend to eat alot nowadays because I crave soo much food I'm always hungry its only been two months but I feel like i have turned obese. My stomach is sooo bloated I dont know whether its bloat or even fat?! When will this redistribute . I do still workout and stuff 6 days a week but eat whatever I want but the weight gain is making my life harder and harder. WHY IS my abdominal area soooo big :-(

Replies

  • MeganAnne89
    MeganAnne89 Posts: 271 Member
    It's very clear to me that this board will not get you the help that you require.

    You have a very unhealthy body image and I suggest you see a therapist in order to deal with this properly.
  • maz504
    maz504 Posts: 450
    It's very clear to me that this board will not get you the help that you require.

    You have a very unhealthy body image and I suggest you see a therapist in order to deal with this properly.

    ^^ Truth.

    I will say though, you might want to focus on loving and accepting your WHOLE self, not just your body. With all of the intelligence, humor, love and kindness a person has to give the world, your physical appearance is such a small part of the whole package.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    It's very clear to me that this board will not get you the help that you require.

    You have a very unhealthy body image and I suggest you see a therapist in order to deal with this properly.

    ^^ Truth.

    I will say though, you might want to focus on loving and accepting your WHOLE self, not just your body. With all of the intelligence, humor, love and kindness a person has to give the world, your physical appearance is such a small part of the whole package.

    QFT
  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,067 Member
    its hard, i went through that too. it feels like an endless path. but there is an end, i promise. you just need to reach for it

    firstly you need to accept yourself for who you are, that your size doesnt dictate you as a person. eating disorders are hell, and can be really tough to get through, for that i suggest seeking some sort of support group or a professional, you wont find much help with that online unfortunately.

    people can be real *kitten*. anyone who calls you fat or hurts your feelings isnt worth stressing over, theyve shown what kind of person they are through those comments, who wants or needs approval from people like that? not me, not you

    that being said, you clearly want to lose this weight, but you arent cleaning up your eating habits, which is the most important part. it is much harder to burn a calorie than to abstain from eating it in the first place. set up a healthy goal weight or body composition goal and figure out what you need to get there. you are in complete control of your body, i know that those foods can be extreeemely compelling to eat, but that satisfaction is so short lived, the feeling that you'll get if you stick to a routine of proper eating and exercise will be 100000x better than what any fast food will give you

    i wish you the best of luck, if you need any help setting up realistic goals or how to achieve them there are a ton of people here that would be more than willing to give you a hand, myself included
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    Your weight and body image are tied to control... and the sense that you don't have it... you therefore, take hyper control of the ONE thing you feel no one can take away from you... and that's control over what you eat. Use this site as a way of understanding that YOU are in control.. in control of creating a happy healthy lifestyle. Beyond that, some professional life skills coaching, perhaps finding a mentor who can help you realize your own strengths and guide you to capitalize on those strengths would be beneficial in getting you on the path you want to be on.

    Best of Luck sweety...
  • ForeverSunshine23
    ForeverSunshine23 Posts: 21
    It sounds like your going through a lot. Like everyone is saying talking things out with a therapist is the best place to start. Emotionally abusive relationships are toxic and it can take a long time to recover. I have been in your shoes I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 6 years when it ended I hated myself, I was ashamed of my body and I avoided being around other people b/c I felt like they would judge me. I ate a lot and which only led to weight gain and made me feel worst. I did eventually start going to counseling and found healthier ways to cope with my feelings and accept myself just they way I am. Being able to accept yourself is the start. After you can accept yourself you will be able to make improvements in your life that will lead to a happier healthier you. You can add me as a friend if you'd like.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    FIND THE GOOD. When I decided I was going to like my body and like me, I finally started to lose the weight for good. I too am pear shaped and know I will never be an hour glass. I found the things I liked about myself and concentrated on those. What is good about you? What do do like about you? Start with non physical things if that is easier.
  • martinel2099
    martinel2099 Posts: 899 Member
    I know how society is, but you do not need to be "thin" to be beautiful or to love yourself. If you're going to lose weight do it for you only, nobody else. I'm losing weight because I want to feel better about how I look in the mirror, I want to be able to go on longer walks and lift more and it's a great way to burn stress (going to the gym). I also don't want diabetes or other serious health conditions that result from being obese.

    Forget about what society has crammed down your throat about being fat. Stay on fitness pal, record and weigh all food portions properly and stick to your calorie allowance. Incorporate light to moderate activity and remember fitness pal over-does burnt calorie exercise. If i'm not using my heart rate monitor then I cut the MFP estimate in half.

    You can do it.
  • aarnwine2013
    aarnwine2013 Posts: 317 Member
    I'm sorry you are going through this. People who name call are not worth your time. They are projecting their issues on you.

    As for the diet piece of this, it's something you can control. Focus on small things. Start with making healthier choices and logging your food. Maybe go for an afternoon walk or some sort of light exercise. As your strength grows, you will look and feel better.

    I was fat and unfit but that didn't define me. I was happy, I was funny and I still am.

    Everybody has something positive about them. Focus on that and build off of it!

    I believe you can do this, but I can't do this for you. You have to make the effort! Good luck!

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