i hate my body so much

fitnessqueen91
fitnessqueen91 Posts: 166 Member
in Motivation and Support
i really hate my body, im disgusting and flabby and chubby. no matter how much i exercise and eat healthily i struggle to loose weight; it's probably because ive yoyoed so much. i wish i looked like a victoria secret model. i have very wide hips which i hate!! and chunky thighs. i had two binge days and already my thighs and hips look bigger. i have such a crap metabolism!! i hate my body so much i want to die. i want to be a size 8! i wish i had the motivation to eat very little. i dont want a womanly figure. supermodels not the catwalk ones, the ones in magazines look so glamorous and slender. i hate bad metabolism and large bone structure which makes me look bigger than i am. i really want to die. it's gotten so bad to the point where i dont want to go out because i hate myself so much. dont tell me that the inside is more important because im not even nice or smart or talented. i dont even have much of a personality apart from the odd witty comments i make. im a uk size 12/14 and 5"7 and i hate it so much! therapy hasnt helped and the only way i can be happy is if im thin. i wish i could afford surgery; i'd get thiposuction, lipo and something to make my hips smaller.
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Replies

  • fitnessqueen91
    fitnessqueen91 Posts: 166 Member
    i feel so jealous when i see the women on here with their toned bodies. my body never seems to tone up no matter how hard i exercise which is at a pretty intense level.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Sweetie, your metabolism is fine. And you really need to learn to love yourself or you will never be happy.


    And jealousy is such an ugly trait. Admire what others have accomplished and let it ignite your own passions. Sitting around seething with jealousy and bitterness will never make you happy.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I would suggest you get some more counseling. Find a new therapist if the current one isn't helping.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    Oh no, you were the "Hate Curves" girl.

    OP, please consider seeking counseling. I have said many of the things you have about my body: I hate it, I hate my curves, I wish I could just look such and such a way. I even used to say "I'll be happy when I get skinny"... when I was 95 lbs and aiming to lose more.

    I have really, really bad days still... but for the ever increasing number of good days I have about feeling good about my body (or at least not as bad) have come from therapy. The other factor has been weight lifting--focusing on what my body can do, rather than how it looks, has magically helped me feel better on days I'd usually feel bad.

    Please seek one out. It's not healthy, mentally or physically, to think that harshly about yourself.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I looked at your photo. You are beautiful. You have a nice shape.

    Please don't be jealous of others, because that will always make your own goals blurry.

    And one of those goals should be really learning to love who you are. Inside and out.
  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
    You do know Victoria's Secret models are smaller than a size 8?
  • stananvik
    stananvik Posts: 23
    Sweetie, your metabolism is fine. And you really need to learn to love yourself or you will never be happy.


    And jealousy is such an ugly trait. Admire what others have accomplished and let it ignite your own passions. Sitting around seething with jealousy and bitterness will never make you happy.

    ^This. ALL of this.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    Almost every single one of your posts talks about how you hate your disgusting, flabby, chubby body and you want to die because you hate your body so much.

    While you might be carrying around a bit of weight you would like to get rid of, by no means are you as "bad" as you see yourself and make yourself out to be.

    If you hate yourself this much now, you're not going to magically love yourself when you're 20 or whatever pounds lighter.

    I would seriously consider talking to a professional, and I say this in the nicest possible way. You need to work on the inside first.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    All of the woman you're jealous of worked really hard to look good. You just have to put in the same amount of effort to look like them.

    Your metabolism isn't slow. Start eating at a deficit and working out, and you'll start to lose weight and get in shape. Get out of that mindset you have and start taking good care of your body.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    If you were inside Adiranna' Lima's body- you'd still hate yourself.

    The kind of self loathing you have has absolutely nothing to do with your weight or body type and cannot be cured by simply getting a new body.

    I highly suggest
    1.) seek counseling/therapy
    2.) training goals that encourage tangible success (running a 5K, 10K, going rock climbing- climbing a local mountain- learning a new hobby- learning how to squat your own body weight)
    3.) stop complaining about your self- it's a self fufilling prophecy and cycle that never gets you anywhere
    4.) every time you say something negative about yourself- you must say 2 things nice about yourself.
    5.) have someone professional go shopping with you so you can get clothes that make you smile.


    Absolutely no body is perfect and happy and UP all the time (and if they are- they are probably lying).... but there is a balance between having a down day- and days where you don't care- and days where you feel amazing.

    You can turn things around- but moping about it won't help. Gotta get moving and change your life. No one will do it for you.
    and the only way i can be happy is if im thin.

    no- you are 100% incorrect on this.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    Sweetie, your metabolism is fine. And you really need to learn to love yourself or you will never be happy.


    And jealousy is such an ugly trait. Admire what others have accomplished and let it ignite your own passions. Sitting around seething with jealousy and bitterness will never make you happy.

    This guy......He pretty much summed it up.
  • silver_arrow3
    silver_arrow3 Posts: 1,373 Member
    I'm overweight. I could be considered "chubby". I exercise and eat well and over the course of 18 months, I lost no weight. I have no hips - really, i just go straight down - but I have large thighs and no *kitten* to speak of (at least when I started)

    But you know what? I learned to love these things about myself. My lack of hips and butt come from my mother and my legs are from my father... both people I love.

    Don't be jealous of things you cannot change. It will only drive you mad. Others have suggested you seek help, and I absolutely agree. You won't be happy with ANY progress until you realize that there are things you cannot change.
  • maz504
    maz504 Posts: 450
    But you know what? I learned to love these things about myself. My lack of hips and butt come from my mother and my legs are from my father... both people I love.

    Beautifully said :)
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Sweetie, your metabolism is fine. And you really need to learn to love yourself or you will never be happy.


    And jealousy is such an ugly trait. Admire what others have accomplished and let it ignite your own passions. Sitting around seething with jealousy and bitterness will never make you happy.

    All of this
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,271 Member
    i really hate my body....

    Prepare to be an epic failure.
  • sheenarama
    sheenarama Posts: 733 Member
    Sweetie, your metabolism is fine. And you really need to learn to love yourself or you will never be happy.


    And jealousy is such an ugly trait. Admire what others have accomplished and let it ignite your own passions. Sitting around seething with jealousy and bitterness will never make you happy.

    This guy......He pretty much summed it up.

    You can be happy no matter what size you are!! Don't expect to be magically happy when you hit a certain weight or size. Guess what.. some of those women less than size 8 hate their bodies too. Losing weight will not make you happy.

    Please, I hope you accept yourself and find peace. :heart:
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,271 Member
    i really hate my body....

    Prepare to be an epic failure.


    you cant hate yourself physical or mental and make good choices or have good success
  • Sunbrooke
    Sunbrooke Posts: 632 Member
    You just need to eat at a deficit and burn calories. It really is that simple.

    The weigt will come off and you will be slimmer. You don't have to do it fast. If you tend to binge, then try to work in some treats to regular days and just don't go over your calories. You feel envious and jealous because you know you aren't doing what you can. You probably feel guilty. I know i did. Just make the decision to do this, and day by day you will feel more empowered, besides being more slender. Don't get all obsessive and frustrated that it will take time. You will feel better as you see the weight come off and it will happen faster than you think.
  • dabomb3220
    dabomb3220 Posts: 2
    So I have an honest question, I'm wondering if it's to late to lose actual fat. not change your lifestyle: increase exercise and eat healthier, but flat up lose fat. I have been exercising and eating healthier more in the last 2 years than I have in the past 28 years combine and yet I can't seem to go below 230. I can drop down to a size 14 in pants but never smaller...so I know it's never to late to change you lifestyle (diet, exercise), but to actual lose the fat without surgery is there any way?
  • laurenawolf
    laurenawolf Posts: 262 Member
    Sweetie, your metabolism is fine. And you really need to learn to love yourself or you will never be happy.


    And jealousy is such an ugly trait. Admire what others have accomplished and let it ignite your own passions. Sitting around seething with jealousy and bitterness will never make you happy.

    I agree. Stop with all the self-hate. If you don't like the way you are, then change it. Stop with the yoyo dieting, the binges, and negative thoughts. Start losing weight the healthy way, and with patience & positive thoughts, you will get there. You don't need to post multiple topics, only to get the same advice each time. It's all in your hands, not anyone else's.
  • laurenawolf
    laurenawolf Posts: 262 Member
    So I have an honest question, I'm wondering if it's to late to lose actual weight. not change your lifestyle: increase exercise and eat healthier, but flat up lose weight. I have been exercising and eating healthier more in the last 2 years than I have in the past 28 years combine and yet I can't seem to go below 230. I can drop down to a size 14 in pants but never smaller...so I know it's never to late to change you lifestyle (diet, exercise), but to actual lose the weight without surgery is there any way?

    Uh...a calorie deficit.
  • sportyredhead01
    sportyredhead01 Posts: 482 Member
    Before you fix the outside, please fix the inside and if you're REALLY struggling, please seek profession help.

    As someone who has struggled with the whole body image thing for probably 15 years, I'll tell you first hand you have to be patient and never give up. For instance, it's taken me nearly 3 years to find an ab. Yes, one ab. But I did it, I'm proud of it and I'm hell bent on finding another some day.

    So no matter how small the accomplishments, focus on the positive. If you put the work in, good things will come.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    Being X size isn't going to make you happy. You have some serious self-hate going on and if you think when you reach a certain number on a clothing tag, you're suddenly going to be happy and the world is going to be full of sunshine and unicorns and ridiculously attractive men or women seeking your company, you're in for a real disappointment.

    You need counseling. A lot of it. A new therapist may be in order. Most of the people here who have made great steps towards how they appear now have been where you are, to some degree. But it's the JOURNEY that builds that confidence, that self-love, the acceptance. You don't miraculously wake up one day in your dream size and suddenly your life is better. It comes from all the small and large efforts you make every single day.

    I wish you the best.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    Please find a different/better therapist/counsellor, even if it means paying for one. I promise you, reading everything you've written here, getting thin, or toned, or whatever you have in your mind's eye will not make you suddenly like yourself. This stuff needs fixing from the inside.
  • KDesiP
    KDesiP Posts: 37 Member
    You do know Victoria's Secret models are smaller than a size 8?

    You do know that Victoria's Secret models don't even look like Victoria's Secret models? Unless you're live, in person- where they use make-up and clever lighting to give the illusions of those 'perfect' bodies, their photos are heavily retouched in Photoshop. :frown: http://jezebel.com/5951863/when-perfect-isnt-enough-the-unretouched-images-victorias-secret-doesnt-want-you-to-see/ is one of my favorite examples, and there are many, MANY more available. It doesn't really matter, at least until poor women like you fall prey to the idea that you can achieve something that professional models, who's job it is to work out and look their absolute best, can't even do.

    I would encourage you to do some research into what real women's bodies look like so that you can learn to not be so harsh on yourself. The imperfections, those things that they Photoshop out, are what make us beautiful and unique. :heart:
  • dabomb3220
    dabomb3220 Posts: 2
    I think I misspoke asking about weight and should have said "fat".
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    That is sad. Why do you hate yourself? There is bound to be something amazing and wonderful about you, and it's MUCH more important than your body shape.
  • SAMEoldSONGandDANCE
    SAMEoldSONGandDANCE Posts: 7 Member
    I've been there....I just want to let you know if you ever want to message me, I'm here for you. I've read some of the comments, and truly I have so much empathy for you. I have been struggling with an eating disorder. I've re3ached high weights, and disgustingly low weight. It is NO way to liv. The moment we realize that ALL FOODS FIT, in moderation. That is when we can truly reach acceptance. I still don't like my body, but I am learning through months and months of treatment to accept it. It is what helps you live, and living to be someone else, is no way to live either. There was one comment up above about putting in the same time as some of the girls at the gym you see, but I'd like to combat that a little. Not saying they haven't worked hard, God knows they have...BUT you cant beat genetics. There truly is no type of bad metabolism...It's a myth..The difference between a "good" metabolism and a "bad" metabolism boils down to about 50 more calories that someone with a "good" metabolism can eat. All of this is so much easier said than done. It's so hard to accept your body, but I urge you to remember, you are doing the best with what you have in this moment. I also promise the more you restrict things from your diet the more you'll want them. Everything in moderation. Learn how to address your feeling if you are an emotional eater, which I've been for years. I promise though, it's possible. I've been at this for 2 months and I am so much happier than when I was caring daily about everyone else. My body is mine, and it works for me. Eat to live, don't live to eat....kinda hate the expression, but maybe some further information on how to fight against these feeling could really help. Like I said message me anytime. I believe in you! Keep working hard, and loving yourself. You aren't a mistake, and your body is NOT an apology.

    ALLEY
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,178 Member
    You do know Victoria's Secret models are smaller than a size 8?
    She says she is Uk size 12, so already is US size 8. She is aiming for US size 4 or below, which for 5'7'' height would probably mean she would be too thin to even be a model.

    OP, please talk to a therapist, there is nothign wrong with your body, unless you are making up measurements and posting soem other girl's photos. You could end up all bones and skin and still feel bad. It is your perception of your body that is wrong.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    You do know Victoria's Secret models are smaller than a size 8?

    A UK 8 is a US 4

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