So far off track

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LMP18
LMP18 Posts: 81 Member
HELP!! I seemed to have lost all motivation. I was on such a great run and had lost 77 lbs and was on my way to being the person on the outside that I know is in there somewhere. I hit a plateau that I just couldn't break out of and then tragedy hit. A string of deaths of people that were very close to me starting February 2013 - I went to 5 funerals in 4 months. I felt completely shaken and turned to my long, lost best friend - FOOD! Well I have managed to ALMOST gain all the weight back and I am extremely embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I have tried to get back in the swing of things and log, and eat better and exercise but I just can't fully invest. I know I have to do this, and only I can motivate myself but I am having a hard time getting started. I just needed to vent and thought if I actually wrote it out, I could move forward. Here is hoping for that. Thanks for listening

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  • mstoya02
    mstoya02 Posts: 24
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    I'm off track also. We can do it just keep trying. I'm sorry for your loss. Feel free to add me, I've fell off and I'm just getting back on track.
  • serindipte
    serindipte Posts: 1,557 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your losses.. I can't imagine how that must have been for you and likely still is. That said.. there is nothing to be embarrassed about. In times of pain and sorrow, it's natural to turn to what you know of as comfort and, for many of us, that is food. From the time we are born, food is a comfort, whether that is at the breast or the bottle, most often in our mother's (or father's) arms. Please don't be so down on yourself for that.

    You've lost 77 lbs before.. you know how to do it and you know how you felt when you were lighter. You've recognized what you were doing.. now you can take steps to keep going in the right direction. You didn't gain it all back. You are already ahead of where you started before.

    You can do this.
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
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    doesnt matter how many times you veer off course, but how many times you right yourself.
  • pander101
    pander101 Posts: 677 Member
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    We all get detrailed for one reason or another. Some worse than others. Really we ourselves can only be our own motivation for change and just hope we have others around for support. But you can get back on track, it is possible. I lost 50lbs and gained all of it back and then some after a period of depression and am starting again. I have found that after the first few weeks it has actually become easier because I know it IS possible and that I CAN do it.

    It's ok to vent. I'm sorry for your losses.
  • Tofuheart
    Tofuheart Posts: 191 Member
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    I too have had a string of deaths in my family the last 2 years. Including the pillars of my earth (Mother, Grandma, Uncle) and I stopped caring about myself and put on weight because I was a zombie through until recently. Feeling less foggy and now have a big challenge ahead of myself for health and weight loss.

    Don't give up. You will get to where you want to be. Just have to have patience and love yourself.

    Feel free to add me. :)
  • Fsunami
    Fsunami Posts: 241 Member
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    Hi

    Basically? You cant rewrite the past. Its done. All that matters is today and the people who love you. Even the future doesn't matter because as I'm sure you can appreciate, it isn't guaranteed.

    I'm the father of a 12 year old boy who has had 2 open heart surgeries (with at least one more to come) due to a congenital heart defect. The first one was at 14 days, the 2nd one when he was 8 (hes doing great by the way)

    I tell you this for two reasons:

    1) You learn at the end of the day that all that matters is love. When the chips are down, everything else falls away & this is whats left.

    2) The experience has taught my wife and I 2 valuable lessons:

    .A) There is value in each day----whether the day is good, bad or indifferent. & B) Sometimes you have to take things a day at a time, sometimes an hour at a time, and occasionally a minute at a time--whatever works for you. There were occasions where I had to break things down in to a minute at a time in order to cope, but the concept works......

    So? Learn from the past, live in the present, love yourself, and focus on being the best you everyday. We get so busy that we forget we have much value to others, and in my case, I decided I wanted to extend that time with others if God wills it. What I was doing previously was ensuring the exact opposite result would occur. No more......

    Feel free to add me if you like. But love yourself and the day you are given, regardless :)

    Thanks
    Chris
  • LMP18
    LMP18 Posts: 81 Member
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    Thanks all! I appreciate the support and encouragement. It is amazing what death can do to the people who survive despite knowing that they would all be kickin my butt for not making my health a priority. One day at a time, and yes even one minute of time - I can do this....again!
  • Fsunami
    Fsunami Posts: 241 Member
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    Youre damn right you can:) and you will :)
  • derposaurus
    derposaurus Posts: 53 Member
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    All I can tell you is that you're not alone. I lost 75 lbs and have gained it all back. It feels horrible. I'm also poking around here looking for some motivation and advice. Sorry for your losses. I believe you will be able to get back on track again :)
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    I'm sorry that happened?!

    When I recently almost lost my mom in a tragic accident she changed enough that I felt frightened and it took awhile to affect my eating. I've never been a stress eater or emotional eater but I did a strange rebellion thing eventually and still not sure if it's related.

    NO matter point is it affected me in derailing me from my forward motion and so it happens. If you truly think your eating is directly relating to your trials and it's a relationship with food you don't feel you should have, seek counseling. If this happens to me ONE MORE TIME I will take that as evidence of that but so far it just looks like I maintained my loss for a long time and then when the accident happened I maintained for a good while but then just got rebellious at some point more as a getting "too comfortable" in my maintenance.

    Really, though as I have faced that fact that life is GONNA happen, so I have this action plan that if one more blow results in any strange actions of the eating front I will confront it with a therapist just for that. Maybe if you make some decisions for yourself or some action plans for such circumstances should they arise, you will clear your mind to get back to motivated and planning phases of your next attack on those extra lbs.