I want to hear your breakup stories

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T_Ciku
T_Ciku Posts: 133 Member
in Motivation and Support
My boyfriend (I guess my ex now) and I broke up this week and I'm taking it harder than I thought I would. I have practically no appetite. And even when I get hungry I have no desire to eat. I can sit with hunger pangs for hours and not feel a thing. I still have to eat my daily 1200 because I hate those starvation mode warnings, so what I'm doing is instead of spreading my meals throughout the day, which is what I usually do, I eat about three high caloric meals just so that I hit my target. That is seriously the only reason I'm doing it. If it wasn't for MFP I think I'd barely eat.
I have no desire to do anything. I force myself to exercise because it's important to me but it takes me forever to muster up the energy to actually get up and do it. Basically I'd be happy spending my day sitting down doing nothing.

Now that I've gotten my pity party part out of the way, I would seriously LOVE to hear other people's breakup stories and how they handled it. Misery loves company and all that. Ha ha. :bigsmile:

Replies

  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
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    I have a tendency to lose my appetite when I go through a crisis, but when I broke up with my boyfriend last fall, it was time. I felt a lot of release for letting go of a relationship that wasn't going anywhere. After five years, I didn't feel I was being treated the way I thought I should be. I had lost my weight while we were going out and felt more attractive. It didn't seem to improve things, although that wasn't why I was doing it. I had started going to the gym and felt good. Also my mom died last August and I didn't feel I got enough support from him.

    Last year was a tough year for me and I started doing more things that made me feel good about myself. Breaking up with my boyfriend was a good choice.

    Recent update: He just emailed me about getting together for lunch, which I agreed to. But then his well-known temper started to emerge as we emailed back and forth to schedule. I finally wrote that things were different now and I didn't want to continue the interaction. More reinforcement for me! woo hoo!
  • benaddict
    benaddict Posts: 1,381 Member
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    In 2006 I'd been dating a guy for a couple years, probably the guy I fell hardest for because deep down I knew it would never last forever but I just REALLY wanted it to... we'd been living together and everything and then I got a job in France for 8 months. I asked if he wanted us to be single while I was away and if he wanted me to move my stuff out of the apartment, he said no of course not, I'll be waiting for you when you get back. Well, a few weeks in to my 8 month stay overseas, he tells me via online instant messaging that he wants to split. I was devastated. I couldn't even talk to him face-to-face and get closure. I spent a lot of time eating bread and drinking wine and sitting in my room wishing we were still together lol. After a while, though, I kind of metaphorically slapped myself in the face. I was in FRANCE, which was my absolute dream since I was in 8th grade, and I was wasting my time crying over some idiot who didn't have the balls to break up with me in person and so waited until I was out of the country??? Screw that! I started going out, made a few friends, and ended up having a blast. When I came back home I moved my stuff out of my ex's apartment and moved on. We still talk occasionally, but I am so happy I didn't end up with him long-term.

    I can definitely identify with appetite loss in times of great sadness or stress. I get that way now when my husband and I have a bad argument. I feel nauseated until it's resolved and I can't eat anything. If you find this isn't going away after a while, might need to look into talking to someone about it. But I'm sure you'll be back to your kick-*kitten* self soon. Good luck!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
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    It's been a while and I can't remember how I handled them, but it wasn't pretty either way.
  • T_Ciku
    T_Ciku Posts: 133 Member
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    I have a tendency to lose my appetite when I go through a crisis, but when I broke up with my boyfriend last fall, it was time. I felt a lot of release for letting go of a relationship that wasn't going anywhere. After five years, I didn't feel I was being treated the way I thought I should be. I had lost my weight while we were going out and felt more attractive. It didn't seem to improve things, although that wasn't why I was doing it. I had started going to the gym and felt good. Also my mom died last August and I didn't feel I got enough support from him.

    Last year was a tough year for me and I started doing more things that made me feel good about myself. Breaking up with my boyfriend was a good choice.

    Recent update: He just emailed me about getting together for lunch, which I agreed to. But then his well-known temper started to emerge as we emailed back and forth to schedule. I finally wrote that things were different now and I didn't want to continue the interaction. More reinforcement for me! woo hoo!

    This is exactly what I'm going through. I had to let go of him because I wasn't being treated the way I felt I should be. It was so hard but I'm proud I made that decision. It's just the usual doubts, like what if I never get another chance like this and all that. We were together for over a year and I loved him so so much! I just don't know if I'll get that again. Maybe I'll be that old cat lady wishing I had held onto love when I had it.
  • lolagurlx0x0
    lolagurlx0x0 Posts: 149 Member
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    Bump
  • T_Ciku
    T_Ciku Posts: 133 Member
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    It's great that you were able to recover enough to still be friendly with him. A lot of people never get that far. I know I'll get over this in time. It definitely isn't my worst breakup but it's still hard. And I hear each breakup gets harder as time goes by because you grow up more and have more baggage and all that. So I have that to look forward to. Yay me. :)
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
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    Split with my ex in January 2013. Still messed up by it now, haven't been near a woman since and I doubt that will be changing any time in the foreseeable future.

    Me and the gym against the world!!!!
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
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    Breaking up by text is a coward's way out. If you think there are no feelings involved, she's better off without you.
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,361 Member
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    I just break up with a text, this way no feelings are involved.

    No feelings for you, but I imagine plenty for the person on the receiving end.
  • T_Ciku
    T_Ciku Posts: 133 Member
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    That is so mean. I don't think you know how hurtful it is for the other person. I hope you don't know how hurtful it is for the other person and do it anyway.
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,041 Member
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    In 2011, I met a guy who I feel in love with the moment I met him. I was only looking for a one time (maybe twice if it was good?) thing. Sex and love are mutually exclusive to me. The first time was awesome and he wound up calling me again. We saw each other a couple more times and I knew he was the one but the feeling was not mutual. We were at a well known restaurant in Chicago where he hit on the waitress in front of me. Then a couple days later, he was supposed to take the train to my place and I would pick him up. He told me the train left just as he arrived at the station. I'm not stupid. He never went. I knew whatever it was was over, but I was absolutely crazy about him. Deep down I knew it was my weight.

    Flash forward 2 1/2 years, he wound up finding me online, not knowing it was me. When he sent me his pic and I could not believe my eyes. It was him. All those feelings came rushing back but I was still very angry and hurt for what he did to me. I caught him up on what had been going on in the time we didn't talk. I bought a house, got a new job, lost weight and the biggest - I had a baby. He asked me if I wanted to hook up again, but I wasn't sure it was a good idea because I just could not separate my feelings toward him, but screw it. I wanted to get laid. He came over and that was it. I was still in love with him.

    I kept my distance and never called or texted him. He stayed in touch and we saw each other again. Then again... then again... then really started spending a lot of time together, and even introducing him to my daughter. On her birthday, he said he would be there to help me plan her party, but how was I supposed to introduce him to my family? My friend? This dude I'm banging? He said I could introduce him as my boyfriend, but does that mean he'd introduce me as his girlfriend?

    Our reconnect was in September. We started spending a lot of time together in December and in February is when we became official. I love this man so much and have for so long. I asked him why he did not feel the same before. He said it was because he was too young, and not ready for a relationship and all that stuff... but he told me I was just too big. Harsh but true. I forgive him for being a jerk but we can't help what we are attracted to. I didn't make myself look better for him. I did it because I wanted the kind of guy I really want and deserve and he's it to a T. Everything I ever wanted in a man as far as intellect, sense of humor and all that kind of stuff. And physically... oh yeah. He's EXACTLY what I like in a man.

    I think a lot about how far we have come and we have certainly come a long way. He has taken responsibility for my daughter. She is learning how to talk and now calls him dad. My daughter has met his family. We are going to Vegas in October with my family. We have a real future together. That's a pretty huge leap from telling me I was once too fat.
  • 12pillows
    12pillows Posts: 81 Member
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    lulz, I've had some excellent break ups.
    Here's my top 3:

    1. A guy I'd been seeing came into the bar I worked at with another girl, and made out with her, directly infront of the bar, for 2 hours. Then she left and he tried to talk to me at the bar. I ignored him and he waited till the other girl on the bar went out for a cig, then came behind the bar and shouted at me for ignoring him in front of all the customers. Super embarrassing.

    2. Went on holiday to paris with my (then) boyfriend and his parents. During the holiday he told me he'd cheated on me. Super super awkward for the rest of the holiday.

    3. And the winner, I went out with a guy for about 9 months, before he broke up with me by changing his facebook profile picture to him in bed with another woman, and then later text me to confirm we were over.


    Basically I have the worst taste in guys ever.


    I usually deal with break ups by crying a hell of a lot and avoiding people until I get back to my usual self. diet doesn't really change much, but during my last break up I lost half a stone cause I didn't really eat and just sat drinking ****loads of gin in the dark. Put it back on soon enough though hah.
  • KameHameHaaa
    KameHameHaaa Posts: 244 Member
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    Uggh all my break ups were horrible and I didn't even start dating til I was an adult. I've always been an emotional eater so about 100 of the 200 lbs I need to lose I gained during break ups.

    1) Dated a guy for 2 years, he wanted to get married, I was NOT ready for that. I didn't necessarily want to break up but, get married? Not for me, not at that time anyway. He didn't want to stay in a relationship that possibly wouldn't end in marriage in the next 6 months so he cut off communication with me entirely. He also whisked all our mutual friends away with him.

    2) Second guy I dated seemed awesome, til the weekend I was leaving out of state for my grandpa's funeral and all of a sudden he was un-reachable. After two days a mutual friend of ours called me to say "hey uh, you should go to (insert name of motel here) and knock on door (insert motel room number). Something's going on you need to know about" So I did, found out he had been camped out in there with a 16 year old, her mom, and drugs....Woohoo.

    3) Third guy I felt like I was absolutely in love with. All of a sudden marriage and children seemed realistic. My family loved him, my church loved him. But there was something off. He didn't "play well" with people his age after awhile, only seemed to like being around younger children and the elderly. He always had an excuse for everything... why he wasn't keeping a job, why he'd hide internet or phone activity, why I could never meet his family (he was from out of state but still, there's phones!). So anyway one day I get a myspace message from someone and it's an ex of his....Come to find out everything he's told me over the last few years was a lie. Literally everything but his name. Arrest warrants in a couple states. No siblings when he had SHOWN ME PICTURES of his "siblings". I snuck his mother's number from his cell and called her myself in private and she confirmed everything I was fearing, adding he had untreated dissociative identity disorder, numerous hospital and jail visits etc. Yeah after that relationship I started doing criminal background checks on dudes i was interested in. Oi. He's moved to four different states since our break up, still occasionally sends me facebook messages that I don't respond to from various accounts, and has completely changed his appearance and name so he looks like another person. Glad I dodged that bullet and didn't marry the guy.

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