Nervous, I might not succeed.

MissFlab2Fab2014
MissFlab2Fab2014 Posts: 109
in Motivation and Support
Not going to lie, I am usually a "glass half full" kind of gal but lately.... I have been feeling a little like "WHO CARES" about it all. I am 23 years old. Not really old in my opinion but I feel like I have cheated myself out of 5 years of my adult life by being over weight, and not happy with my body. All my my initial weight gain was due to having children. But over eating, binging, crash diets you name it, stress, anxiety, depression all kept me eating. Self-medicating with food if you will.

I feel like I am going to be 25 in two years, that is a quarter of a century and I haven't warn a bathing suit, enjoyed the beach, lake or swimming with my children. I haven't gone to parties, get togethers, etc for my insecurities. My friends all think I hate them or don't wanna see them when in actuallity I don't want them to think "Wow shes really let herself go...." I hate going out because I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin and with my body I am just irriated and really a drag to be around.

Will this feeling ever go away?

Replies

  • kk_140
    kk_140 Posts: 518 Member
    You can do this. It takes patience and persistence, but you deserve a happier you!
  • phickman9273
    phickman9273 Posts: 8 Member
    The first day I went to a Step class at my gym it was miserable. I didn't do very well but I made it to the end. After class was over, one of the ladies in the class said to me that I had done a great job and I didn't quit. She also said "You have to take the first step which you've done. Now the rest will be easy." Don't get me wrong. That class has been anything but easy. :) However, it was easier going back another time because I knew what to expect. Don't be afraid to take the first step to change your life. That change could be anything but keep it simple. Maybe it's taking a walk, going for a short bike ride, swimming, etc. Find an eating plan that works for you. I spent 40 years of my life making poor choices but I took the steps to change it. You can do it too. People on MyfitnessPal are very helpful and will keep you motivated. Don'g give up on yourself and the feelings will go away.

    Plus, if your friends don't appreciate you for who you are, they aren't friends worth having. We are our own worst critic. People don't think what we think about ourselves.

    Hang in there young lady...You can do this!!!
  • MissFlab2Fab2014
    MissFlab2Fab2014 Posts: 109
    thanks! :)
  • cindagrif
    cindagrif Posts: 60 Member
    I think we are all nervous we won't succeed. As you can tell I am also a glass half full kind of girl. But this is a decision you need to make on your own. If you really want it, you can do it!! It's a one day at a time process.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    well- the hard truth is you can keep going- and you will live with some resentment and despair that you chose to do nothing and inactive and not take a more direct roll in controlling your life.

    You'll reach a point in your life where you just don't give a flying fK and wonder why you wasted so many years being afraid to fail.

    Or you can go through with making changes now- and put your chest into the collar and do some work... the absolute WORST- nothing happens- (which won't happen if you do the work) but let's pretend for a minute all that work did nothing.

    What did you lose?

    nothing.

    What did you gain- a good work ehtic at the very least.

    There is no downside to failure- even if you do fail.

    And if you stick with it- you won't fail. And the more you do it- the more success you will have and success is more motivation.

    with risk comes reward.

    With no risk- comes nothing. Just more of the same.
    So you can stay the same- or risk being a little uncomfortable and see great reward.

    That whole nothing ventured nothing gained type deal. You can do it- it's science and math- and science doesn't lie.

    Leave you with a little Teddy Roosevelt.
    Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
  • AJ_G
    AJ_G Posts: 4,158 Member
    Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right :wink:
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I agree with others - you deserve a happier you.

    Don't get too bogged down in the thinking of "I'm overweight, I'm not where I want to be". Focus on small goals. If you're (just for example) a size 18 and not happy with that, aim for a size 16 or 14 first. Then you can enjoy that success before moving on to smaller sizes.

    That really helped me personally. And I started at 307 lb with so much to lose. I first tried to get back to 260-270 and then made a goal of 220. Now I'm at 184. The same principles apply even for someone who is 130 lb but wants to be 115.

    Everyone's different but I think for me if I started out saying "I need to lose 150 lb" I would have felt too overwhelmed to even start.

    Also, look at it like this - even if you lose 2 lb per year for 5 years, you'll be 10 lb thinner in 5 years. The alternative is being stuck exactly the same or much heavier in 5 years. What do you choose? Pretty easy to decide...

    I wish you the best!!
  • MissFlab2Fab2014
    MissFlab2Fab2014 Posts: 109
    Thanks all.

    My struggle has been consistancy. Mainly. I don't generally eat bad, I usually just don't eat and get calories from coffee... or redbull I know bad. I stopped doing that about 6 months ago. I try to take it easy on the caffiene in general. I've just noticed that this last lose, then gain was significant, not gradual and happened in about 45 days verses it took me the first time 2 and a half years to get to my heaviest of 156lbs which is only 5lbs heavier then I am now... I get discouraged that I have waited to long and the struggle is to much.

    I know I gotta push through it. Toughin up and say F*** FAT! but... lol, idk I get scared to fail. Thank you for the inspirational quote, I shared that on FB
  • wise1owl
    wise1owl Posts: 9
    As Yoda would say "do, or do not, there is no try". Personally, I've gone from a high of 305 lbs to a current 261. I've plateaued for a while now after getting off the wagon and now starting back. Some things that work for me are:
    1. It's got to be a way of life, not a program. Conventional wisdom says that for a change to be effective, it's got to be every day for at least six weeks.
    2. Q. - "How do you eat an elephant?". A. - "One bite at a time!" Try setting smaller goals/milestones. It helps you feel like you're making progress.
    3. Also, look at incentives for each milestone. For example, one of my goals is to loose enough weight (get under 250 lbs.) so I can finally join my wife on a horseback tour on our next Caribbean cruise. That's a lot easier than starting from 305 and saying I want to get to 180 because some medical chart says I should. BTW, getting under 200 as my next goal gets me scuba lessons.
    4. Finally, for me, I got a serious case of "sticker shock" when I saw my A1C (long term blood sugar measurement) had popped up to almost 10 (preferred norm/goal is around 6.0) I started checking blood glucose levels frequently, and seeing exactly what foods, quantities, and timing did to me. I'm already improving significantly in less than a month and that, long term for a diabetic, is literally a matter of life or death.
  • LaurenFoss10
    LaurenFoss10 Posts: 4
    You sound like me!! I have my first daughter at 21. I am now 29. I have spent the last 8 years either miserable with myself as a result emotionally binge eating, or 3 years old I became so obsessed with the idea of being fit I crashed diet, over exercise and borderline restricted eating. This is my first real attempt since my 20 month old was born that I am trying to be healthy. I have already mentally set myself up for negative self talk, I tracked my eating today and I hit 2,500 and that was before dinner. Heart disease and auto immune runs in my family and guess it's now that I want to nip anything in the bud.
  • CindyMarcuzAdams
    CindyMarcuzAdams Posts: 4,007 Member
    Dont be the drinks half full or drinks half empty girl...just go ahead and guzzle that drink to the last drop... in other words jump into this life changing process with both eyes open. Make a splash. Get a digital scale if you dont have one. Weigh and measure EVERYTHING you put in your mouth. Log all exercise and eat all your recommended calories. You are going to need the energy to keep up with the new you...
    Good luck. Add me if you like. I am older but am here every day cheering on my peeps.

    Cindy
  • SSonnentag
    SSonnentag Posts: 10 Member
    I'm the same way. I have avoided high school friends and reunions for 25 years now, and I finally decided I've had it with hiding out. Last November I decided to start eating healthfully and exercising. It's working, and I'm never going back. I have so much less pain now and I'm starting to respect myself a little bit again. I've got a long way to go, but I'm finally on the right track.

    You can do it too! :)
  • Cycle4Life99
    Cycle4Life99 Posts: 86
    The nervousness is understandable but time to let it go. First off, you have to believe you can do it and then it will happen. Secondly, patience wins the day. When the going gets tough, simply look at life hour to hour. The Navy SEALS do this during training to try and keep the feeling of overwhelming in check. It works according to those who make it through hell week. It's hour to hour. Look too far ahead and it can be demoralizing.
  • FitnessTim
    FitnessTim Posts: 234 Member
    You will definitely fail. In fact, you will probably fail many times. It doesn't matter how many times you fail, what matters if that you keep trying.

    My wife had been on the weight loss/weight gain roller coaster for many years. It wasn't until we sat down and really thought out why we kept failing. We realized that each time we started a new weight loss plan, we were determined not to fail - this time was going to work - failure was not an option.

    What finally worked for us was realizing that we were probably going to fail again. Knowing that, we made a plan for failing. We decided that when we failed that we would reassess we were where and what went wrong and what we needed to do to keep moving forward.

    It was the breakthrough we were looking for. She lost twenty pounds and sure enough she hit a bump in the road and gained a few back. Since we were tracking our weight constantly, we saw it coming and we took action. She's back to losing about a pound a week.

    Another thing we did differently this time was to not think in term of months but rather years. We did make short term goals but we kept each goal in the context of our master 5 year plan.

    Whatever happens, however bad things get, keep logging into MyFitnessPal and reaching out to people and keep weighing yourself. Keep trying even if it looks like you've failed again.

    Read, watch or listen to everything about health and fitness you can get your hands on. The more information you have the better your chances of staying focused on your goal.

    Below is a book that I recommend that helped me. It describes the forces that are working against you and makes suggestions for how to counteract those forces. At the very least watch the Youtube video.

    Change Anything
    http://amzn.com/B0047Y16YE

    Watch a related Youtube video:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TX-Nu5wTS8
  • hearthwood
    hearthwood Posts: 794 Member
    It's always the way we talk to ourselves that determines success our failure. You're embarrassed to get around friends or go out, then it's completely up to you to do something about it, starting now.

    No more statements of I"ll try, change that to I will starting today I am going to make a lifestyle change. Repeat I am not going to lose all of this weight overnight, but I am making a change to eat better, stay within my calorie goal weight, no matter what it takes, and starting today I am going to reasonably work out for the rest of my life. Write it down several times if you have too.

    I do portion control, I don't eliminate foods I just eat less and move more and it works for me. It has taken time, the ups and downs but I am only 4 pounds from goal weight now. I can tell you that's it's worth it, and so are you.
  • RWTBR
    RWTBR Posts: 140 Member
    Buy and read the book "The Beck Diet Solution," author Judith Beck. Helps you deal with the psychological issues behind all of this.
  • MissFlab2Fab2014
    MissFlab2Fab2014 Posts: 109
    You will definitely fail. In fact, you will probably fail many times. It doesn't matter how many times you fail, what matters if that you keep trying.

    My wife had been on the weight loss/weight gain roller coaster for many years. It wasn't until we sat down and really thought out why we kept failing. We realized that each time we started a new weight loss plan, we were determined not to fail - this time was going to work - failure was not an option.

    What finally worked for us was realizing that we were probably going to fail again. Knowing that, we made a plan for failing. We decided that when we failed that we would reassess we were where and what went wrong and what we needed to do to keep moving forward.

    It was the breakthrough we were looking for. She lost twenty pounds and sure enough she hit a bump in the road and gained a few back. Since we were tracking our weight constantly, we saw it coming and we took action. She's back to losing about a pound a week.

    Another thing we did differently this time was to not think in term of months but rather years. We did make short term goals but we kept each goal in the context of our master 5 year plan.

    Whatever happens, however bad things get, keep logging into MyFitnessPal and reaching out to people and keep weighing yourself. Keep trying even if it looks like you've failed again.

    Read, watch or listen to everything about health and fitness you can get your hands on. The more information you have the better your chances of staying focused on your goal.

    Below is a book that I recommend that helped me. It describes the forces that are working against you and makes suggestions for how to counteract those forces. At the very least watch the Youtube video.

    Change Anything
    http://amzn.com/B0047Y16YE

    Watch a related Youtube video:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TX-Nu5wTS8

    This really helped, thank you!
  • kwaz29
    kwaz29 Posts: 190 Member
    Think about it this way-do you want to wake up in 20 years not having been to the beach, or gone for a swim, or seen any of your friends, or climbed a mountain, or gone on vacation, or whatever you want to do all that time, all because you were scared to fail? I think that is a scarier thought than losing weight!

    You may try and fail several times, but you just need to keep going...it may not happen overnight, but the changes are worth it if you keep pushing through! You can do it!

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