Hello! I'm so happy I found this place..

I haven't really posted much on here, partly because I feel like I am pretty boring and don't have too much to share,but for the past week I have been following these boards, and I am just finding that spending time here and reading posts has helped motivate me so much!I used MFP before to log calories just as an app on my phone, but never looked at the "community" section, until last Monday.

My hubby and I recently moved, and before the whole house hunting started in January this year, I was doing well maintaining my weight. I wasn't losing, even though I was trying to (being right on the border of obese and overweight for my body frame) , but I wasn't serious enough about it. Then, knowing we were going to move, I stopped cooking. Part of the reason is we really outgrew the apartment we were living in, it had a tiny kitchen and we had so much stuff packed in there, and I just didn't like the space and wasn't motivated to cook in it. I was okay with it until we knew we were going to move and then I decided to just stop being in the kitchen as much as possible, since we are going to move soon and once I have my new kitchen everything will be better. That sounds like a really dumb excuse now that I think about it! But moving was stressful, it was our first home that we purchased, and everything from timing the end of the lease with our closing date to successfully getting a mortgage while working an extremely fast paced job 50-60 hours a week,and working on an MBA was just a lot for someone who has been sheltered most of her life to handle! I just stopped paying attention to what I was eating in the middle of all the stress...

I have had a very long battle with my weight, I wanted to lose weight since I was a teenager and succeeded at least three times (if not more, the lines get blurry) in losing 60+ pounds while starving myself just because I wanted so desperately to look pretty. So at the end of it all, here I was looking as perfect as I ever wanted to be (and starving), but my thought process was "what next??" And I couldn't think of a good answer...so I went back to old habits, gained the weight back, etc..


I feel like one of the things that was stopping me before, was the fact that I always wanted quick results. Every time I tried to start over, I just ended up kicking myself for not working hard enough to get the results I wanted fast enough...and then, those comfortable weekends when my husband and I were playing video games and living in a dream where weight gain is not even a real thing, those were the days I lived for. So, I got to a point where I was either in delusion (eating junk) OR making my life equally as miserable by eating so very little that I was constantly hungry..


Looking at everyone here, especially those who have lost a lot of weight over a long period of time has made me think about the fact that life happens in the blink of an eye, time just goes so fast in general, that if I don't take advantage of the opportunity to make even a small dent now, later I will just look back and think of how I've just wasted time and made no progress. I look at some people who lost 30, 40 or 50 pounds in a year, and I look back at where I was a year ago, and I see the same person that I am now, eating 900 calories a day for a week or two, and then getting so hungry that I start to eat whatever I want for the next few weeks, and the cycle goes on and on, and I am miserable most of the time..

So anyway, I don't know if this is just me being at the ripe old age of 25, finally thinking like an adult, or the fact that I found such an amazing community, or maybe a little bit of both- but I feel so motivated. It's not even like I've even been doing "amazing" this past week. But, I have made progress, and I finally find myself appreciating the baby steps, while previously i would have hated myself for not being 100% perfect. I think of the future today and I am not scared of how much more weight I will gain, and just that in itself is a win:)

So that's it, if you finished this entire post then thank you for reading through my rambling, and I really hope that I can make friends here, because other people are the biggest motivation there is