My current struggle

Slaintegrl
Slaintegrl Posts: 239 Member
in Motivation and Support
So, I've been on this site for almost a year and have dropped 84 pounds, 25 inches over all, and have gone from a size 28 or 30 (women's plus size) to an 18/20 in pants and an 18 in tops. Recently I went on a shopping spree and bought myself a whole bunch of new clothes that not only fit, but fit well. They are not loose and baggy, nor are the all black, brown or grey like most of my pre-MFP clothes. Well, what's the problem you ask????

A few days ago, I was wearing one of my new outfits, a sleek fitting pair of jeggings, a new top and a light weight cardigan, and man, I thought I really looked good! I felt good, the clothes felt good. I knew I still have a long way to go with this weight loss, but I really felt I was getting somewhere. Then, bam, I went into the building at work, stopped in front of the "mirror front" elevators. And that's when I saw her. The fat, fat, fat girl. All lumps and rolls and fat!

Isn't it amazing how one quick look can just destroy a totally great feeling. I know I'll get to where I'm going, but boy that was a real downer.

Replies

  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    You're being too hard on yourself. You have made a lot of progress, and you should be proud of yourself.

    You're your own worst critic.
  • Asherah29
    Asherah29 Posts: 354 Member
    Are you better than you were? Do you plan to be better tomorrow than today? If the answer is yes, you're winning.
  • Eleanor_1986
    Eleanor_1986 Posts: 14 Member
    Congrats on your weight loss, you're my inspiration! All I can say is try to be kinder to yourself. You would never look at a friend and think "fat, fat, fat girl" so don't do it to yourself. It takes a lot of discipline but train yourself to kill those horrible, untrue thoughts and replace them with the truth, which is that you really look good!
  • ItsJordanNicole
    ItsJordanNicole Posts: 110 Member
    I know that feeling. When it happens sometimes it makes you want to just quit. What I do to overcome that feeling is look at pics of myself at my largest and compare them to my current self. Take a look at how far you've come rather than lookingat how far you still have to go.
  • McCluskey1128
    McCluskey1128 Posts: 88 Member
    DO NOT LOOK IN ELEVATOR MIRRORS!!! I'm a size 2/4 and our elevators are like that in work and I swear I could cry some days if I catch a glimpse of myself! I look like a ball of cellulite and frump. Don't do it!

    You're doing an awesome job and I'm sure you look/looked amazing. Mirrors are dark magic playgrounds. There are reasons that circus "Fun Houses" are made out of mirrors.

    Keep your head up and rock that outfit again.
  • runnergirl0721
    runnergirl0721 Posts: 2,289 Member
    We are our hardest critics. And if I am honest, I still see the girl I used to be. As women, we notice our imperfections and dwell on them. We only see the "bad things" or what we want to work on. You are beautiful and you have come a very long way. Stop being so hard on yourself. You have to realize where you have been and where you are now. Give yourself credit for the work you have put in this far and even if you aren't where you want to be just yet. Turn that frustration into determination and realize that you're beautiful inside and out :)
  • JustSomeEm
    JustSomeEm Posts: 20,292 MFP Moderator
    You are doing absolutely fantastic. 84 pounds is amazing! You are NOT the 'fat, fat, fat girl', you are the 'determined, getting fitter and slimmer and healthier girl'. Keep up the hard work you've been doing. You've got this!
  • rak173
    rak173 Posts: 105 Member
    I know how you feel. When I feel that way, I tell myself, things only get better from here. Just keep progressing! I also try to stay kind to myself. It helps keep me positive and when you're positive, a radiant light shines from you and people notice! You have a lot to be proud of and you are a great inspiration.
  • weightedfootsteps
    weightedfootsteps Posts: 4,349 Member
    <<<< Girl, You described me. I've gone from the same size down to an 18 as well.

    I look in the mirrors at home and I like what I see...but sometimes passing a window outside a shop or something when I'm walking the image reflecting doesn't look like what I see at home.

    What do I say....Must be something wrong with that window, cause I know I look good!

    I know I'm not where I want to be yet...but I will be! I am not about to let a mirror or window tell me I don't look good..cause I look ten times better than I did and I won't let something inanimate or even animate put me down and out!

    You have to remind yourself that you look great! You will succeed in getting where you want to be...and if you see an image you don't like.....Lies! ;)
  • Slaintegrl
    Slaintegrl Posts: 239 Member
    Thank you to all of you for your kind, thoughtful and helpful words! They are much appreciated, and taken to heart! For all of you!!! :flowerforyou:
  • Kita328
    Kita328 Posts: 370 Member
    It is so sad to read your post. It brings me back. Please please please start some positive self talk. I know it sounds silly but I know from experience it works.

    YOu are going to get people who tell you to see a therapist...I know for me I couldnt afford one. The most important part in this journey is to get your mind in a place of happiness and positive thinking is the way to do it. All the weight loss in the world will not make us magically be happier.

    Be proud. I know you have to have been proud shopping and buying clothes. DO NOT let one Mirror take that from you. You wear those clothes that make you happy and you tell that mirror you are beautiful next time you walk by it. Say it everyday...until you believe it in your heart. Because YOU REALLY ARE. Sometimes our head takes a little while to get where our heart is or vs. You can do it. Keep up the great work!
  • Scott_2025
    Scott_2025 Posts: 201 Member
    You are doing great. We are all our own worst critic. Relax and continue the journey... You have come so far...
  • justcat206
    justcat206 Posts: 716 Member
    Be proud of all your hard work! It's easy to pick yourself apart at any weight. In college I weighed 95 lbs and cried myself to sleep because I was still 'lumpy and squishy.' But you know you're working hard and making great progress. Maybe keep some non-physical self-praise on hand for moments like that. If you find yourself unhappy about what the mirror shows think "but I'm very kind/strong/genuine/generous/etc and that's important too!" Congrats on the awesome progress :)
  • kindredlaugh
    kindredlaugh Posts: 14
    Just remember that store windows, elevator doors, car windows are basically fun house mirrors. They distort more often than they truly reflect. I am willing to bet you look as slammin' as you felt when you walked out your front door.

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