Upping calories to stay on the wagon?

Has anyone had success using the correct method of mild caloric deficit rather than self-imposed starvation and self-hate?

Yeah. Currently losing 1.4 pounds a week at 2200 calories per day.

Calorie cycle! It is basically what you were doing before but with a bit more planning. Say you want to average 1600/day... you can have 2 days of high eating at 2000, a few days of low eating at 1200, and a few days right at 1600. That means you can indulge, but not all of the time. You are planning in days of satiation, and that will help make the lower days much more manageable.

Focus on your weekly calorie allowance rather than daily, and overall you can find yourself in a better, MUCH more sustainable place.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but exercise should be your main focus. I take classes at my gym which really helps kill the boredom. It's better to eat more and exercise, then eat less without it. Of course there's a limit to how much you should eat.
Just make sure to eat healthy things when increasing your calories.

I set up my account with a goal of losing 1 lb per week. Because I set up my account as "lightly active" and my fitbit records my daily activity as being even higher than that (and gives me an "adjustment" to my calorie goal in MFP), I pretty regularly eat 2,000-2,200 calories a day and am still losing a pound to two pounds a week.

I was feeling so awesome about my success that I changed my goal to 1.5 lbs per week. Suddenly, it wasn't fun anymore, it felt like deprivation, and I was having trouble meeting my new goal. I went right back to the 1 lb/week goal and haven't really looked back. I feel so satisfied and happy!

So I would recommend two things:

1. Up your calories. I totally think it might help you stay on the wagon.

2. Buy a fitbit. I was like you -- I hated the whole experience of "working out" and so any exercise I did was totally sporadic. I bought the fitbit and LOVED it because it motivated me to be more active without "working out." It gave me credit for all the activity I was doing in my everyday life, so if I was tired at the end of a long day, I could see how much I'd been active and know that I wasn't being "lazy" if I chose to take a rest instead of exercise. Plus, it automatically gave me bonus calories for the activity I was doing -- so it was easy to go for a quick walk and see my calorie allotment increase as a result of a little bit of effort. Indulging in favorite foods as a result of your activity is it's own reward! And so after a few weeks of using it, I started Couch25k and some light weight training and I actually enjoy "working out" for once in my life.

A deficit on 2000 is interesting, out of curiosity I'd like to know my actual number as I am very sedentary so unlikely to be that high. But could explain why I'm not a gazillion pounds when I eat the same size meals as my 6ft 2 active boyfriend!

I'm trying to consider exercise as a bonus to calorie counting as I'm so inconsistent. Like if I do it, fabulous but if I don't it's not going to hurt too much!

Calorie cycle sounds interesting I might give that a go. Like a really toned down 5:2 ....

Thanks!

Maintaining at 2000 calories is really not that much of a stretch. People tend to way underestimate what they are eating so 2000 calories may sound like a lot but it really isn't.

Currently I would estimate that I maintain at around 2,900.

Can give this calculator a try.

http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/

According to it I maintain around 3100 to 3300 which seems a little high to me.

Up your cals and up your exercise. I set myself at 2lbs a week (1200cals) as I, somewhat dim-wittedly, thought this would make me lose my belly weight quickly. After realising I felt hungry and snarky, and reading stuff on here about how to lose weight / inches effectively, I changed to losing 0.5lbs a week (1570cals). With exercise I'm 1800 to 2100 cals a day and MUCH happier. I've now lost 4lbs in 4 weeks. 1200 cals will make you miserable, change it and be happy.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but exercise should be your main focus. I take classes at my gym which really helps kill the boredom. It's better to eat more and exercise, then eat less without it. Of course there's a limit to how much you should eat.
Just make sure to eat healthy things when increasing your calories.

With respect - this is 100% incorrect information.

From a health perspective, yes, exercise is definitely very important to maintain bone density, increase LBM, and for cardiovascular health.

However, as OP's main goal is to lose weight, then she needs to focus mostly on diet. To lose weight, one needs to eat in a deficit. You can fancy it up with TDEE, HIIT, paleo, Shaun T etc, but at the end of the day... diet the most important factor in weight loss. You can't out work a crap diet.

PS - I just realized you may be talking about exercise helping fuel the momentum to continue eating well. If that is the case, my apologies and I agree. It is definitely a tool to be used to help, but diet is the main driving factor.

Don't worry, I wasn't clear. I didn't mean that she should ignore her dieting. I just meant that eating 1200 calories and considering that a substitute for exercise isn't good. It's good to have both exercise and diet! Exercise helps you keep the weight off with a better metabolism and diet helps gives you the strength to exercise and lose weight.