Help?

roxywho42
roxywho42 Posts: 165 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So, I am doing the same things I was doing the last time I lost weight, but it feels like I am not having the same success. I am not really sure if I am doing something wrong or if I am just being too hard on myself because I know where I could be now if I hadn't given up. There are differences between then and now. The last time I only had to handle my own food, this time I am also having to feed my 5 year old and my boyfriend (who is not fond of healthy food). Plus, less money now. I also have PCOS and type 2 diabetes (those aren't new). My diary is open and I truly am open to help.

Replies

  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    Unfortunately yo-yo dieting can ruin your metabolism. (know from experience) I set my calories too low and did not exercise and lost muscle. This makes it harder the next time you go on a diet because you were eating "normal" again and gained the weight back. I have been on this site for about 4 years now losing very slowly but never gaining back more that just a few pounds (usually around holidays). What does your boyfriend consider "healthy" food? I make a great chili that is mostly vegetables and beans with just a little meat and my whole family loves it even the ones that don't like "healthy" food. Search the internet for recipes. Eating Well and Food.com are good place to start.
  • roxywho42
    roxywho42 Posts: 165 Member
    I ate properly for about 2 years and had lost 96 pounds, then I spent the next 2 years slowly going back to crap and gained half of it back. I have never aimed for a calorie limit that was super low. My calorie goal then was the same as it is now, 1500.

    He eats vegetables, but only if they are over cooked. He will not eat grains other than rice. He wants steak and potato all the time. He is very fond of things like frozen egg rolls and hot pockets. He doesn't really get why I don't consider potato a vegetable. He likes the flavored oatmeal packages, but will not eat normal oatmeal. He butters everything. He is not that far from the stereotypical southern diet.
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    My opinion is you didn't hurt your metabolism. It does get harder the older we get and we tend to forget how hard it was the first time, I think.

    Don't tie your diet to his. Many of us eat healthier than people we live with. It's very possible. I don't know your situation but I would fix healthy meals for my son and me and anyone who wants to add butter or a steak or whatever in addition can go right ahead. Or if you're feeling charitable, throw a steak on the grill for him with your fish and put a pan of potatoes in the oven on Sunday to bake to rewarm for his dinners alone, or for you to also enjoy but with a lighter topping. Don't let someone else's eating be your excuse. You can do it.
  • xilka
    xilka Posts: 308 Member
    Firstly, be patient. It will come.
    You've already been through this, so you know what to expect, and that's an advantage.

    I cook for my 11yo and my husband. They eat what I eat, or they cook for themselves.
    It's good for them to eat healthy, so your healthy diet trumps any crappy eating they may be used to.

    Can you get your boyfriend to read up a bit on nutrition.
    Maybe watch one of those documentaries - (Sick, Fat, and Almost Dead or whatever it's called)?

    Your son is young and will benefit greatly from learning healthy eating habits at this age.

    I know it's hard to change others' diets, but you're in the right.
    Real oatmeal over flavored package wins hands down.
    Boyfriend needs to get educated.
  • roxywho42
    roxywho42 Posts: 165 Member
    I already make my son eat healthy. He's 5, I can force him, lol. I can't so much force the 35 year old though, even if I wish I could.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    I already make my son eat healthy. He's 5, I can force him, lol. I can't so much force the 35 year old though, even if I wish I could.
    Nobody is saying to force anyone else to eat healthy. They--and I agree with them--are saying to take responsibility for your own weight loss and cook the type of food you want, and then allow them to dress it up or add whatever else they want. Or, if you want, you can add stuff they like too for them.

    You're in charge of your food and you weight loss jounrey.
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    You might be surprised how many people will eat what you serve when the other option is to fix their own meal. And if he chooses to fix his own, that's ok, too.

    One easy way to 'hearty up' an otherwise light meal is to bake a baguette with it and serve that to the people who don't need to watch their intake, as an extra side dish. You can buy loaves par-baked and frozen or fresh or even individual rolls or biscuits.

    Good luck!
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    He eats vegetables, but only if they are over cooked. He will not eat grains other than rice. He wants steak and potato all the time. He is very fond of things like frozen egg rolls and hot pockets. He doesn't really get why I don't consider potato a vegetable. He likes the flavored oatmeal packages, but will not eat normal oatmeal. He butters everything. He is not that far from the stereotypical southern diet.

    This is definitely something you can work around. Potatoes are a vegetable. the main problem is the butter and toppings. A nice lean sirloin steak can also be "diet" food. Make your meals and let him put as much butter or other stuff as he wants. When cooking veggies leave a portion to to "over cook" for him. My husband doesn't like my 'healthy" cooking either so he will put sauce or butter on it.
  • roxywho42
    roxywho42 Posts: 165 Member
    Thanks guys, I know that I don't have to eat his junk, and I don't. Ive had McDonald's once in the last 3 weeks and that was because I wanted to give my son a treat. I got the boyfriend to try quinoa the other night (though he had rice too) and if I make something like a healthy beef stew he will eat that. I just hate to leave him to completely fend for himself because he works really hard and it's summer right now which means I'm not working at all. I don't think that eating around his bad habits is my main problem. I don't know what it is though.

    I have a doctor appointment on the 11th and my weight is on my list of concerns to talk to him about, of course. I just would like to see my jeans size drop a little faster, like it did before. Maybe it's that I never got completely back to the way I ate before I made any changes in the first place, so cleaning up this time isn't as much of a shock to the system and so the weight isn't dropping as fast? When I first decided to change, back in 2009, I went from 12 packs of soda a day and entire pans of brownies to myself after having 2 value meals from McD's to lean chicken and veggies with crystal light. In the last couple years I did slide back away from lean chicken and veggies, but I never got back fully to the old me. Could the fact that it's not as drastic a change be why I'm not seeing the weight drop as fast?
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    Roxy, losing weight comes from eating at a calorie deficit. There is no "shocking" your body, or anything else. Just eat what YOU like at a calorie deficit and you will lose weight. Keep in mind your calorie allowance changes with age, activity level, current weight.

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