Sometimes i feel i am too late?

Just saw a really bad *kitten* motivation video, although it really got me pumped i also sometimes feel i am too late with everything. Turned 34 in april but havent really enjoyed life since i was 19 because i was struggling with addiction, being homeless on and off and due to that lifestyle build up alot of dept because my own stupid choices.

Have been of the streets for almost 3 years now but the last 2 years i drank hardcore because i got into a depression because the 20's were totally wasted, didnt go on vacations, chasing the girls, had fun with friends or worked on anything to enjoy life and some things you do in the 20's you dont do when you get older.

The past really gives me a mental block and also because i will have to deal with paying my depths for the coming 3/4 years. In my mind i am very creative but i have never been taught to put creativity to action.

For example i want to learn to play the guitar, i want to draw, i want to paint, and i definitely want to see my abs for a change because i have pretty much never seen them. The only luck i have atm is that i can work out for free in a gym because i work there as a volunteer and the past 2 weeks when im hitting the weight i work out hardcore but drawing, painting, playing the guitar i have to do myself because i am on a very tight budget.

And when i start doing it and it totally doesnt go the way i want i get frustrated and got the feeling i am too late, same with working out.

Now some guys will probably laugh about it and thinking "jeez bro, your only 34 plenty of time" but it just doesnt feel this way.

So why am i typing this then, well i dont have rl friends that work out or are very motivated, they just live their every day life.

Could sure use some motivation and tips how to overcome this.

Thank you for reading this.:flowerforyou:

Replies

  • Spreyton22K
    Spreyton22K Posts: 323 Member
    Not a Bro' but a will an older Sis' do.

    You have lived and survived a life of extremes......so much bravery and perseverance to still be alive and fighting for a brighter future. That takes courage and strength.

    Never underestimate yourself.

    Patience will be your best companion.

    Sending you very best wishes for all your dreams to come true. Hope you get lots of good feedback from the Bros' on here....they are a terrific bunch.

    Take care
    K
  • ponycyndi
    ponycyndi Posts: 858 Member
    I am so sorry to hear about what you've gone thru.

    One day, you will realize all the things you have been thru have not only made you a much stronger person, but without everything, good and bad, you wouldn't be the person you are.

    I couldn't even imagine the things you have gone thru, but there was a time in my life when I was depressed, having had a baby at 22 (still a baby myself, and totally unprepared) that I thought that was the beginning of the end. There is no shame in getting help. Now, more than 10 years later, I feel younger than ever. Don't wait for life to happen. Go make it happen.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Also not a bro, but I know how you feel... in my own way. I'll be 31 in a month, so I'm a little younger than you, but much of my 20s was spent in depression and just wasted (not drunk wasted, but I did nothing of note, really). I didn't have very much fun, and I feel I have wasted my entire life. Sometimes I also feel as if I'm too late... almost all of my friends that I have known for much of my life are already married, and most with kids. Maybe I missed my chance at normalcy... at the same time, there aren't many guys who are up for living life the way I do with my somewhat nomadic nature. Normalcy isn't really my style, at least not right now.

    I try to tell myself "the best is yet to come" and that things can only get better. There's the quote "look at how far you've come rather than how far you have to go". I think it's quite fitting in your situation. Don't let your past define you - let it make you stronger (I try to tell myself that a lot).

    Maybe check around and see if you can get guitar or painting lessons for free somewhere? Sometimes people are willing to do that. You're never too late to learn something new. Trust me.

    You're definitely not alone, and you know I'm around if you ever want to chat. You've been doing well, my friend :) You got this.
  • RotterdamNL
    RotterdamNL Posts: 509 Member
    :smile: never asked for a bro reaction if you read good so yes, sisters always welcome, imo most women understand some things better than some men can anyways.

    Already got a old acoustic guitar but what the thing, doing everything alone so it is frikking hard to acomplish stuff and that mental block come from the thought"if i already started when i was 20, i would have been epic by now" everything will take time and time is ticking.

    Thanks all for replying to me though cause alot of people(not all) dont bother to help eachother out when their life is ok which i have experienced alot in rl, im also there for everyone but some people dont have that attitude.
  • amberj32
    amberj32 Posts: 663 Member
    Let me just say congratulations on overcoming your addiction and being able to get off the streets. It's not an easy task. You should be very proud of yourself. We all make stupid choices, trust me! Some of us have to pay a little longer for the mistakes that we made in the past.

    You sound like you are still full of so much more life when you were talking about your artist side and wanting to try new arts! That's great that you get to work out for free at a gym and you are taking full advantage of it. It will help you feel so much better. A lot of us are on a tight budget for one reason or another. Maybe you can find some art supplies at the thrift store, 99 cent store or maybe someone will donate some art supplies to you if you really let them know you are interested. Different cities have art classes you can take. I know mine gives discounts and/or free if you can't afford the class. I'm sure if you search online you could find some type of free art class in your city.

    I'm 39 and it's not too late. It's not too late late for you to start working out, starting a new hobby, etc. We all feel sad, stressed and depressed at times. At my current job I need to take a difficult test to get a raise but I've failed twice already, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes 5 weeks ago, my daughter is failing out of college, my brother passed away in January of this year (police say suicide but they didn't even investigate) and now my nieces will get to live with their drug addict mother and paroled drug addict step father starting today as a matter of fact(CPS is a joke). My brother was only 36 and my best friend. Bad things just happen sometimes. Send me a message if you need to talk. I will try and be as motivating as possible. Add me as a friend. :)

    You have already made steps in the right direction! You CAN do this! Great things take time.
  • cholepapi
    cholepapi Posts: 79
    What? You made some bad choices and went through some horrible events and your still here. Hmmm sounds more like you are a Surviver. I promise no one is perfect in this world. If you feel you've lost lots of your time then stop looking back and keep moving forward. :D
  • I think chloepapi said it perfectly =) Chin up and keep at it, age is just a number don't let it stop you...you got this and you can do it luv~!
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    I met my wife when I was 34

    We are both 49 now, as fit and slim as we have ever been.

    The last 15 years have been the best of my life and we are both looking forward to the next 15 years. We are learning a new language, at college also learning photography, at the gym looking to get fitter and stronger. I'd also love to learn to play an instrument but at 49, I wonder if I'm too late for that - I guess not!

    It's not too late for you my friend, far from it
  • BookofJarom
    BookofJarom Posts: 14 Member
    The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.

    Sure--you didn't "plant a tree" 20 years ago, but you're planting one now. Good job.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.

    Sure--you didn't "plant a tree" 20 years ago, but you're planting one now. Good job.

    Wouldn't the 2nd best time to plant the tree be 19 years ago? :wink:
  • SnuggleSmacks
    SnuggleSmacks Posts: 3,732 Member
    I'm 40, and although I haven't gone through the things you have, I can attest that it's never too late to start over. I just earned my BFA and met my soul mate about 5 1/2 months ago, and we both feel like we got a second chance at happiness in life.

    As long as you're breathing, you have the ability to start again making better choices.
  • Luv2h1k3
    Luv2h1k3 Posts: 66 Member
    It's only too late if you allow it to be. This may sound harsh and I don't mean it to be but get out of your head! Only look back to see how far you've come. Don't look so far ahead that you fail to enjoy the here and now. You've already proven you're a fighter. You've got this...
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Already got a old acoustic guitar but what the thing, doing everything alone so it is frikking hard to acomplish stuff and that mental block come from the thought"if i already started when i was 20, i would have been epic by now" everything will take time and time is ticking.

    As a language teacher who also taught piano lessons for a few years on the side, sometimes adults are the best students. They're often taking lessons because THEY want to instead of their parents forcing them to. They're also usually more motivated... :)
  • VBnotbitter
    VBnotbitter Posts: 820 Member
    You can look back 14 years now and wish you'd done things differently at 20, sure, but do you want to be 48 and looking back on another 14 years when you didn't do the things you wished you had?

    You've got this far and you've achieved what many don't so keep pushing. you've got this.

    (By the way my mother in law started playing the sax at 52 and now plays in an orchestra)
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    And when i start doing it and it totally doesnt go the way i want i get frustrated and got the feeling i am too late, same with working out.

    Sounds to me bro like you have a classic fear of failing. You fear it because if you do it will confirm your worst fears - that you are worthless and cannot better your situation. Easier to never try, keep your head down and live in numbness then try and feel something.

    You need to change the way you view failure, Failure is good. Failure is your friend. Failure teaches you how to succeed - ask any truly successful person and vary rarely has their path there been smooth and uneventful.

    Learn to fail in style and the world is yours.

    Fall seven times, stand up eight ~ Japanese proverb.
  • RotterdamNL
    RotterdamNL Posts: 509 Member
    Wauw thnx for all the positivity :)

    And i guess i have a fear a failing, cause in my mind its like, what if i put alot of energy into something and it doesnt play out the way i want it to be then its time wasted, and already wasted so much time.

    Really need a mental drillhammer to break down that blockade in my head.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
    Wauw thnx for all the positivity :)

    And i guess i have a fear a failing, cause in my mind its like, what if i put alot of energy into something and it doesnt play out the way i want it to be then its time wasted, and already wasted so much time.

    Really need a mental drillhammer to break down that blockade in my head.

    No time is wasted if you are spending it trying to acheive something great...even if you don't acheive it...you tried.

    Most people look back on their life and thing...man did I ever let that go to waste ...ie 10 years...your 20's...but don't look back and lament.

    If you like who you are today the key is to realize it is your history that made you who you are...

    I personally wouldn't change a thing in my past...and I made a lot of mistakes. I am happy with who I am and I wouldn't be me without my past being exactly as it was...could it have been better? maybe...it could have been worse too...so could have yours...

    I guess my point is this...at 34 you have a tonne of time to fulfill your dreams and live a wonderful love filled life...as long as you don't see it as pointless as you will only fail...

    Things don't always play out how you want them too...they play out how you need them too...you may not see it in the moment but when you look back you will...