struggling

shanamaidela
shanamaidela Posts: 2
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
Hi,

I've been on MFP for well over a year now, but I've never taken advantage of this side of it. In fact, I'm not even sure how to access the message board on my phone (is that even possible) and I almost never log on on the computer so I don't know when I'll have a chance to check responses. I've been struggling a lot this week with maintenance, except that I haven't even reached my goal, and I've already started gaining. My goal is 100 and I made it to 105 and then instantly lost control and now I'm at 107. This might not sound like a big deal, but I am a dancer and I have a huge performance day after tomorrow that I've been training for for about 6 months and I want to go in feeling thin and confident. So clearly, I need to just get it together today and tomorrow, but I have the urge to binge all the time. It's all I think about. I am also terrified of what is going to happen after my performance, when I don't have the pressure anymore. I feel like I'm going to completely lose control and gain back all the weight I've lost and more in about a week or less. I'm hoping once the stress of the performance has passed I won't want to eat constantly, but I don't really believe that. Has anyone been in the position where you are meeting your goals, feeling good, and then all of a sudden something snaps and you completely lose control? How do you get it back? Thanks everyone. :)

Replies

  • valeriemcmichael77
    valeriemcmichael77 Posts: 69
    If you made it that close to your goal, please don't give up. You obviously have what it takes to lose. Maintain the good habits you have developed. Remember, it's hard to lose, hard to maintain and also hard to be overweight as someone on fitness pal said. We have to choose our hard. Hope this helps!!! I'm struggling too. I haven't gotten close to my goal yet.
  • jlahorn
    jlahorn Posts: 377 Member
    I sympathize completely; I get the same way sometimes. The more pressure you're under, the harder it is.

    I get back on track by forcing myself to be scrupulous about logging (I sometimes get lax about it when I'm stressed and eating too much). I make sure I have no trigger foods in the house and that I don't carry cash on me. During my moments of discipline and self-control, I make sure that I have meals and snacks pre-planned, prepped, and ready. I try extra hard to stick to my healthy routine; no accepting spontaneous dinner and happy hour invitations. I drink extra water and make sure I'm carrying chewing gum.

    Good luck :)
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    I find myself in a game of 'one step forward, two steps back' sometimes.

    I'll make significant gains/losses and feel great but then get derailed by a holiday or even just battling myself.

    IT HAPPENS.

    What you need to try to do is keep your mind in the right place. You deserve to live a happy life and even if that means going backward sometimes, that's just what works for you. Make peace with it. =)
  • davis978
    davis978 Posts: 103 Member
    I'm going to state the obvious. Is your goal of 100 pounds realistic? You didn't say how tall you are, but that is a very light weight for an adult woman unless you are 5"1' or shorter, especially if you are a dancer and have plenty of lean muscle mass. Perhaps your body is telling you that 100 pounds is not a healthy weight for you? Or maybe it totally is - I can't tell from the information you provided.

    Assuming that 100 is a healthy (not malnourished) weight for you, please don't be so alarmed. It's normal for weight to fluctuate. Think about all the other things you want out of your life besides a 100 pound frame. Go get those things. In my opinion, if you make it to your goal weight but you become a terrified shell of a person in the process, then you haven't really won. Your "losing control" language indicates that you are really struggling psychologically, so maybe you should spend some time working on that. You sound VERY anxious about a relatively small weight gain. That anxiety is not going to help you in the long run.

    Finally, it's normal to backslide. That's okay. Every day is new day to start over, regardless of what you ate yesterday, or what the scale says today.
  • beamer0821
    beamer0821 Posts: 488 Member
    you are creating a vicious cycle.

    you are putting pressure on yourself about the weight and the performance and then its manifesting itself by eating more which is giving you more anxiety about weight gain and your performance!

    take a deep breath. it sounds counterintuitive and too "easy" but really if you stop putting pressure on yourself know that your performance will be what it will be and your will be FINE. i think you will "magically" find yourself eating well again.
    de-stress...
  • woodstck25
    woodstck25 Posts: 5
    I totally agree with your post. Your body fluctuates with weight. Getting on the scale everyday just makes you want to go crazy. I sometimes go up a pound or two before I start going down. I think it depends on how hard you are exercising or what you are eating. Or maybe that time of the month (if you are female).

    Don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing great by watching your weight and dancing. Being a dancer burns a lot of calories. It probably is just stressed related because of the performance coming up. You will be fine.
  • shanamaidela
    shanamaidela Posts: 2
    Hi -- yes -- to answer -- I am 5'4" and I'm not gonna lie -- I have been eating 700-800 calories a day for several months and I realized that I would probably have to cut down to 500 to reach 100 pounds. I also don't feel like I can ever increase my calorie intake, which is scary -- if I eat anywhere near 1000 calories in a day, I gain. I know that the obvious predicament is that my body doesn't like this, but again -- as a dancer I honestly can't stand to look at myself in the mirror if I weight more. I was miserable before I lost this weight -- my eating was out of control, and I dreaded the part of class where we have to take off our warm-ups. I have been so happy and so much calmer not having to deal with that, but I feel like I now have a new set of problems . . . namely maintenance of a pretty low weight. I really appreciate everyone's feedback -- everything everyone has written helps a lot -- thank you.
  • beamer0821
    beamer0821 Posts: 488 Member
    if you had a daughter or a friend how would you respond to what you just wrote?

    and use that advise on yourself
  • kdiamond
    kdiamond Posts: 3,329 Member
    For me, if I feel like binging I know my calories are too low.

    You might do better eating more frequently, keep yourself full all day long so you don't have the urge to binge.

    And you definitely need to eat more than hat. It's not worth the quick weight loss.
  • his2pet
    his2pet Posts: 4
    Personally if you aren't losing yet, I would suggest not inputting your exercise and just keep a strict calorie count. MFP adds back into your calories what it feels you should be burning by your exercise. So if you have a goal of 1500 calories net but exercise heavily MFP may add 800 calories to that to offset your exercise. Only problem is we don't all burn calories as efficiently as others. So try that. It is the only thing that has started helping me. Good luck.
  • LazSommer
    LazSommer Posts: 1,851 Member
    Mental health issues are real.

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