Unmotivated

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  • CoachDanJudge
    CoachDanJudge Posts: 19
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    Hey guys, everyone lacks motivation. Today, this morning, I really didn't want to go to work. But I did...the fact of the matter is it's tough to stay on top of your game all of the time, but that's where commitment and dedication comes in. Some days will be easier than others, and using a support system is key to keep yourself on track.

    I like posting videos from sports motivation simply to awesome stories where people struggle and overcome their obstacles. Let me know what you think, and I am more than willing to help supporting you in here!
  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
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    You have got to be motivated for you. . . it has to come from something that's really important to you, to sustain motivation. See this thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1261159-what-is-your-why?hl=what+is+your+why

    I must say that I've seen the person who responded second to this post and has been arguing with you, is often extremely harsh to people on here. It's not just you.

    That said, stating that you had to lose weight or your father wouldn't let you get a haircut is not a reason that will go over well here-- people are very much about being accountable only to themselves, doing this because it's extremely important to themselves for whatever reason, and are quick to point out things that don't make sense to them or that sound off for some reason. I guess your OP strikes one that way. . .

    This is a great place for support and motivation but people can be extremely blunt and sometimes quite snarky. . . but under the sarcasm (in most cases. . . some people are just nasty) is a desire to help somehow even if it is tough love or a figurative encouraging smack!

    Oooh I predict that this thread is going to become quite a mess. Maybe try another post in a couple day's time, OP?


    Only on MFP is being direct viewed as "extremely harsh" and highlighting what a person actually says called "arguing" with them. This truly is the land of candy coating everything even when people post outlandish things. This place is filled with people wanting instant gratification, tangible rewards, and external validation but if you look at the successful people they've passed that and internalized goals, developed the discipline required to make serious lifestyle changes, and did things for themselves and because they realized it was the right thing to do.

    A funny thing is how the OP changed from losing weight to get approval for a haircut to now there is some long desired loss for medical reasons ..a much more logical reason which can form a foundation for planned, sustainable loss unlike losing weight for an instant reward which proved unsustainable.

    The next step lies with the OP. She needs to think things through and spell out what her goals truly are along with the whys that go with the goals to mitigate the all to common selection of random numbers that are either unrealistic, unhealthy, or a combination of those.

    Is the target a certain weight? Is the goal a certain BF%? Is it a fitness goal (lift X lbs / bike X distance / complete X event)?

    Fitness and health are not instantly gratifying. They take work and determination. There is rarely a smooth or easy path to reach those goals. They can be a struggle to reach. If one thinks my posts are harsh I shudder to think what they think of the reality of weight loss and improving fitness.


    Hi yeah..In my OP I said I already got my haircut. Yes I do have medical motivations. I didn't realize until I started talking. I have my mohawk. I lost the weight to get it. That was then, this is now. I am not looking to be 121 to 153 lbs like my doctor says I should be, because I'd look like skin and bones. Though this was a messier thread than I would have liked, I understand what I want now.

    OK ... how long do you plan on it taking to reach that goal to set a realistic weekly loss?

    If you think this through, set things up so it is attainable as a life style change rather than a chore, it gets easier to do.
  • rrlwelter
    rrlwelter Posts: 40 Member
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    OP, you said that you tend to lose motivation if goals don't come quickly enough (yes, I'm paraphrasing).

    Given that, you will need to NOT set a final, target goal. Set instead a small goal: I will lose 5 pounds in 10 weeks. Then set MFP to lose one pound per week (I know - those two things don't match up. Hang in there - you'll see what I'm telling you).

    Doing this gives you some leeway for those days when you need to sleep in or not do a run or SOMETHING just for your mental health. Some weeks you will lose a pound, and then you can celebrate because you're getting to your 5 pound goal quicker. Some weeks you will lose one half pound, and then you can celebrate because you're on track.

    After you finish that goal, set another. But keep them small until you develop the persistence to keep going when the scale doesn't move. Otherwise you're setting yourself up for yo-yo dieting, which, while it may or may not cause health problems in and of itself, does play havoc with your self esteem. (Don't ask me how I know - personally and professionally. Just believe that I do).

    Best of luck finding your motivation - for me, I don't like to exercise, so I get up at 0 dark thirty (the cats help with that... they want their food as soon as they can get it!), dress, and go for a run. By the time I wake up enough to actually think rather than just be sure I'm not in the traffic lane, I'm a mile or two from home and put in more mileage getting back to where I started. It works pretty darn well, actually, although as manipulation rather than motivation , LOL! Whatever - I've lost 15 pounds (some before I started MFP) in the past 3 months, and am ok stopping here or I'd like to drop another 5. We'll see how it goes.
  • Flutterloo
    Flutterloo Posts: 122 Member
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    Set small goals. I let myself get waaaaaaay too heavy to only set a true final weight goal. So instead, I set goals that are every 15-20ish pounds. And I only focus on getting to that one goal. I am really close to a goal at the moment. :-)

    Also, you have to really really want this. I can not stress that enough. If you are still teetering on the verge of "I really really want this....but man I don't want to get off the computer and exercise....so meh." Then you will fail. It does not matter how supportive or motivating we are. Find your reason, and try your hardest to remember it.

    That being said-- Once you have found that initial motivation, the people on this website are definitely capable of helping you through tough spots.

    Best of luck to you.
  • paulawatkins1974
    paulawatkins1974 Posts: 720 Member
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    Not going to lie, but I worked for something I wanted for years. Though it wasn't just me. My sister who was dieting with me also stopped. I feel I shouldn't have come here for motivation.

    You should come here for motivation but I don't think you should come here for motivation with the story you told in your OP

    Going on a diet because you wanted a haircut? That's possibly the most bizarre reason I have ever come across?
    yup this whole thing is just bizzare. I'm actually kinda LOLing because weirdness does that to me
  • 4homer
    4homer Posts: 457 Member
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    Your dad wouldn't let you get a hair cut? ? How old are you?
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
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    Well... your hair is gonna grow back....
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
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    OP, I think you've realized that motivation is what can get you started (and hey, saying "I want a haircut, that's my reward for reaching X goal" is a lot like what many people here do in one way or another, though it's self- imposed rather than external).

    However, what a lot of people seem to confuse is motivation and dedication. Motivation gets you started, gives you a reason to want to work for it. But there are always, always times when that motivation wanes (we're all human), and that is really where dedication comes in.

    You said you want to look great in cosplays. Awesome - there is a motivation - a tangible reason for doing this. Keep that in mind as you make the changes. But on those days when you want to just throw in the towel, you need to have that dedication to fall back on - when you DON'T feel motivated, or your reason just feels 'meh' - then you rely on your dedication to yourself and your goals. The motivation can build back up from that. Does that make sense?


    That said, remember to look at this as a long-term lifestyle change, not just a 'diet' until you lose the weight. That will help you reach your goal and not gain it back. Check out this link, as well: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1175494-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants?hl=sexypants
  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
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    OP ... you've spelled out the end point and told how you have a hard time with goals that take a long time to reach. As others have mentioned ... set short term goals. They serve as milestones along your path for you to measure progress and keep you motivated along timelines that keep your interest. Others have mentioned good ideas for intermediate goals.

    Then think about what you like to eat. Don't cut out favorites but learn to eat in moderation. Also, there's nothing wrong with a special meal as a reward when hitting an intermediate goal as long as you keep it reasonable. One meal or day won't ruin things.

    What activities do you like besides cosplay? Specifically things that get you up and moving. Biking? Running? Swimming? Dancing? Lifting? Wrestling? Whatever you like to do, build your exercise around it. It's a simple concept ... doing things you enjoy is more likely to keep your interest and require less external "motivation". The other thing is when you have that day where you don't really have the drive .. and we all have them ... it is easier to kick yourself in the butt and do something you actually like most of the time. Tweak those activities into short term goals such as "I want to improve my run to X distance in a month" or "I want to add ten pound to my squat this month" ... definite terms, measurable, and things you can work towards in times that keep your interest.

    If you truly want to lose the weight and have real reasons to do so, the motivation comes from within. You can't allow yourself to become dependent on random internet posters to keep you motivated. That transition to self drive is key.

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