Confused

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AshleyMarie1
AshleyMarie1 Posts: 4
in Motivation and Support
Hey I am just new to MFP, I have been trying to lose weight for a little while now but am having difficulty. My boyfriend has expressed the fact he is not attracted to me in the same way he used to be and admitted that he even had interest in someone else one weekend. I am happy he was honest and upfront about things but the way he brought it up was somewhat hurtful. I am finding myself losing momentum and even sometimes eating to spite him. I want to lose weight for myself and he doesn't understand why I am not as comfortable around him anymore which causes fights. I am not sure how to make things right and get back on track I would like to have some advice on the situation.

Replies

  • Silky815
    Silky815 Posts: 367 Member
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    Welcome to MFP, and to the beginning of a new life for you. YOU CAN DO THIS, for yourself as well as doing it for him. I wish you all the luck with losing what you need to lose. Stay strong, and remember why you are doing this. It will help you, as you make your food selections each day. I would be willing to be your friend, and motivate you as much as I can. You taking the first step to lose weight , is the start of a new life for you. Men sometimes do not realize what hurtful things they say, and how things affect you. Keep your chin up. Things will get better.
  • zaizix
    zaizix Posts: 23 Member
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    *hugs*
    I am not surprised you were hurt my your boyfriend's comments! It was an awful thing to say but in one way it's a brilliant motivator!
    Planning a new diet and exercise regime can be exciting and will take your mind off things with your boyfriend for a while and will make you feel healthier and happier! A new body will mean a confident new you :) and maybe you'll even meet a nice new man who'll love you for better or worse :)

    Don't give up, You can do it!!


    *love and hugs*
  • BOGmama2010
    BOGmama2010 Posts: 599 Member
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    What are you doing to try and lose weight?

    As far as your boyfriend - well, honesty is nice, but so is unconditional love. Have you gained weight during your relationship? Know that no matter what you weigh, you are still worthy of love and that means not being uncomfortable around the one you love.

    You do need to do this for yourself, so get the food out that is tempting you. Your emotions are dictating your eating right now, so surround yourself with better eating choices and even choosing to move instead of eat. And then, you have to look inside you and see why you're eating to spite him and why you don't want to do the right thing.

    {hugs}
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
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    Firstly, well done for trying and asking for help


    Honesty can be great but there is a way to do it and how your boyfriend did it was out of order. Hes basically saying hes with you for the way you once looked...charming! I know what i'd do but thats neither here or there.

    Eating to spite him, no, its not spiting him, its backing up his (flawed) view of you. I know what you mean tho but you're only spiting yourself. Use the anger/hurt/upset this has caused and let it fuel you to pound away at the gym or the pavements with a powerwalk.

    You can do it and if you keep coming on here and getting the support you need you WILL do it and then you will be the person he fell for but will he still be the person you fell for??

    Good luck
  • mhuffstickle
    mhuffstickle Posts: 7
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    Everyone has said what I was thinking but just remember that you are worth everything and deserve the best of everything. Put you first and take care of you while you are young!
  • ifixyospeech
    ifixyospeech Posts: 25 Member
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    my advice is to get out of that relationship. sounds like he's not feeling it anymore and it is causing harm to you and your health. it also doesn't sound like he is very supportive of your weight-loss efforts since instead of encouraging you, he's putting you down.

    weight loss is excruciatingly hard because it's a lifestyle change. you've definitely made the right decision by joining this site; nothing is more motivating than a group of like-minded supporters and man, watching those numbers go down week by week is great! just take it one day at a time and get rid of the excess baggage that is causing you stress.
  • hmfishy
    hmfishy Posts: 22 Member
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    my X and I had a long distance relationship and the first thing he said when he saw me after a break was "wow, you've gained weight!". I didnt' see it then, but he wasn't right for me. I've since found the most wonderful man in my husband who has seen me through child birth, HORRIBLE hangovers, and weight gain to boot! :) that's just food for thought, the boyfriend isn't really the issue... how do YOU feel abotu yourself? what do YOU want in your life? the folks who have commented before me are right on - you have the power to do whatever you want and have whatever kind of life you want, you just gotta figure out what you want and go for it. Good luck to you, you beautiful girl.
  • AshleyMarie1
    AshleyMarie1 Posts: 4
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    Thanks for the advice Everyone:) My plan so far is to just cut out the junk, eat smaller meals more frequently and commit to the gym 5-6 times a week and I hope I will see some results soon. I am going to put myself first and not worry about what he thinks and try to keep my plan simple to start and not get overwhelmed. Any other tips that work well I would love to hear!
  • wriglucy
    wriglucy Posts: 1,064 Member
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    my advice is to get out of that relationship. sounds like he's not feeling it anymore and it is causing harm to you and your health. it also doesn't sound like he is very supportive of your weight-loss efforts since instead of encouraging you, he's putting you down.

    weight loss is excruciatingly hard because it's a lifestyle change. you've definitely made the right decision by joining this site; nothing is more motivating than a group of like-minded supporters and man, watching those numbers go down week by week is great! just take it one day at a time and get rid of the excess baggage that is causing you stress.

    TOTALLY agree! If he's having "interest in someone else" it may not be long before he strays. I had a boyfriend who actually started liking some girl in his French class, and told me that he was thinking of maybe breaking up with me. Well...he didn't and I was all in love, but you know what....couple months later, he was cheating.

    I'm not saying your guy is going to do the same, but just stay cautious, and do everything you want...for YOU!
    Good luck! And I hope everything works out!

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