Unreliable "Gym Buddy"

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GothJuice
GothJuice Posts: 66 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I got offered a free gym membership as part of a programme called "lighten your load", due to some issues with anxiety.

My housemate also has a gym membership, is going on holiday in a months time and wants to lose some weight. We agreed to be "gym buddies" and motivate each other into going, as my anxiety made going alone feel like a massive deal.

Since this agreement has been in place, every evening I suggest we go to the gym, my "gym buddy" agrees, but in the morning when it comes to actually going, she tells me she can't because she's ill or one of her appendages is aching so she doesn't feel up to it (she doesn't have any pre-existing medical conditions).

Luckily, I have became self-reliant and actually enjoy going on my own and have managed to motivate myself. However, the idea of us being gym buddies was to motivate each other into going, the only thing I feel like I am motivating her to do is develop her excuse making skills. She agreed to come with me on one occasion but when we got there suggested we sit in the sauna because she ached (despite not having worked out yet), I agreed on the condition we swim on the evening at the gym's pool, she agreed and, giving credit where it's due, she followed it through, at my insistence, and we went swimming on the evening. Other than that occasion however she hasn't actually attended the gym once with me since I started going.

Has anyone else had an unreliable gym buddy? Have any advice on how I could motivate her to actually join me? Or should I just give up and continue my fitness escapades alone?

Replies

  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,068 Member
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    theres not much else that can be done other than call her out on it, maybe it'll make her smarten up. if not its time to find a new gym buddy

    ETA; im lucky enough to have a friend who is hardcore into the gym. when i started out i tried to duck out once or twice (for legit reasons though) but he told me to stop being a b*tch. you may need to be easier on her lol
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
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    You can't depend on others to motivate you to go to the gym... that has to come from within. If she doesn't want to go but you are serious about your goals, go without her.
  • dmenchac
    dmenchac Posts: 447 Member
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    Looks like you need to shed even more weight than you thought (gym buddy).
  • kd_mazur
    kd_mazur Posts: 569 Member
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    sounds to me like she doesn't do mornings. Maybe suggest the workout for the evening as you did with swimming?
  • jdhcm2006
    jdhcm2006 Posts: 2,254 Member
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    She may not be mentally ready to take on the task of commiting to a fitness/weight loss plan. Going on this type of journey is very individualized and you will not be able to force her to do something she isn't ready for.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
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    I would so not have time for that. I'd go without her. Her loss!
  • rachface1234
    rachface1234 Posts: 227 Member
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    Yeah... I've probably tried out 10 gym buddies, when i lived with my brother last year we committed to shared PT sessions but he literally decided to sleep in but still pay his half b/c he was so lazy....my current one is one of my best friends and he's just really consistent in all things, we have an "agreement" to meet at the gym MWF at 6:15 am, honestly we don't do the same things, we just chat once or twice while resting between weights and catch up a little and shoot each other a "where were you" if the other didn't show up. It works great, and helps with accountability, but most of the time you'll be on your own anyway, be your own gym buddy, your friend will decide she wants it or not, maybe when she sees you getting all the benefits of regular workout (increased confidence, better sleep, more muscle tone as you drop some weight, peace of mind) she'll decide it for herself. You can't force anyone else to make change, but you can do it for yourself if you're ready! :wink:
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Why are you bothered about motivating her so much? You just do you...
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    I've come to the decision that gym buddies are just not for me. Without fail, every friend I've tried out has been one or more of the following:

    a.) incapable of keeping the pace I am most comfortable with, so we end up taking almost three hours to do what it takes me 90 minutes to do alone.

    b.) treats gym time like talky-time and just wants to chat and hang out

    c.) whines and complains THE WHOLE EFFING TIME about every single lift

    d.) tries to use "working out together" as a front for basically getting free training sessions out of me. I'll work out with a buddy, but I'm not going to hold your hand and show you everything I know for free! << Probably my biggest gym buddy pet peeve.
  • GothJuice
    GothJuice Posts: 66 Member
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    Wow! Super fast responses guys!!

    Just for clarification I have extended gym offers to her for different times of day and every time she's agreed and then backed out regardless of morning or evening, I only said morning because this morning was the most recent occurrence!

    I will take the most common piece of advice suggested and be my own gym buddy! Going solo isn't as scary as my anxious brain thought it was going to be! (Thankfully!!)

    I'll still offer her invites from time to time but if she doesn't want to I attempt to force the issue anymore. You're all right, she needs to find the true desire to commit herself and nothing I do can force that motivation on her, hopefully it'll click one day for her as it has for me!
  • GothJuice
    GothJuice Posts: 66 Member
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    Why are you bothered about motivating her so much? You just do you...

    I guess it's just that I see how I used to be in how she is acting, the whole "I hate how I am" but never actually doing anything about it, attempting to follow fad diets and overly restricting (both which backfire) until something clicked this year and I got my backside into gear. I guess I was trying to get her to "click" in a sense.

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