Frustrated with trainer

fvtfan
fvtfan Posts: 126 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So I have been going to a trainer for almost 2 years - I am at the point where I feel like I am getting nothing out of it because it is only twice a month. Last night I had what I considered a terrible meeting with her to discuss nutrition. She came out of it feeling good and I felt about 2 inches tall.

She insists that I need to eat "clean" in order to get past the plateau I have been on since last fall - no matter how hard I work out I can't get past it. I AM losing inches but my weight and body fat goes up and down - this time my body fat was up over 1% (since March) and I have been strength training 3x a week and cardio 3x a week (at least). I started logging here in April - and lost 4 pounds the first 2 weeks and nothing since. I have my goal set at 1,440 calories - eating back most of my exercise calories - and weighing everything. I am 47 years old, 5'2 and weigh 175 (today anyway).

Please someone convince me that I don't have to give up all the foods I like in order to lose....I don't really have to eat like a rabbit do I? I was so upset last night and she said I was being defensive - well that would be because she totally raked me through the coals on my diet - I let her log in to my food diary here and every day she had a comment about something I ate. Does it REALLY matter if I had Light & Fit Greek Yogurt instead of plain Fage? Is there that big of a difference when it comes to that...she said my body doesn't know what to do with all the artificial flavoring so it is holding on to everything. REALLY?

I read on here every day that people are eating food that she swears is holding me back. I am so tired of the battle. Maybe I just don't have what it takes to break this plateau. I don't want to give up the foods that I love. I lost 60 pounds on WW and gained back 18 last year - funny how I could get down to that number then but not now...what gives?

I am not ready to give up yet - but I am ready to give up HER...unfortunately I have a contract until August so I have decided that I will use the sessions to learn as much as I can about fitness and tell her that I do not want to discuss nutrition.
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Replies

  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    Your diary is private, so no advice there.

    But if you are accurately tracking your calories (and have your goal set correctly) - both food and exercise then it shouldn't matter what those calories consist of. Weight loss is by calorie deficit not by how much celery you eat. Granted you might feel better if you eat more veggies than cupcakes, but you still should be able to lose weight.

    Unfortunately with a plateau since last fall it's likely you're just eating at maintenance rather than to lose - so you might have to make some adjustments there. Maybe eat back less of the exercise calories. Or calculate your TDEE and skip the exercise calories altogether. http://iifym.com/iifym-calculator/
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    I stopped using a trainer about a year after I started because I went through a similar round and round, but with squat and deadlift training. Most trainers aren't worth a damn. The few who are exceptions to this are gems. If you find one, keep him/her. I haven't found one yet, although there are two people on here who I would hire if they lived near me. That's two out of how many? You get the point.

    You simply need a calorie deficit to lose weight. You need the right amount of protein to maintain muscle mass, and you need fats for vitamin absorption, hormones, etc.

    There's a group on here called "Eat, Train, Progress." It's a good place to start. You should also follow Alan Aragon on facebook.
  • fvtfan
    fvtfan Posts: 126 Member
    I just opened my diary - I thought it was open.

    I just started on the 1,400 calorie on April 28th, prior to that I was still doing WW and not being successful, so I quit and came here to try something completely different. Hard to tell how many calories I was eating on WW.

    I have been trying to concentrate on getting in my 30% protein - some days are harder than others. I will start paying attention to fat and carbs now too.

    I will check out that group too. Thanks
  • gilmore606
    gilmore606 Posts: 45 Member
    Why do people on MFP eat back their exercise calories? What's the point of exercising?
  • FireOpalCO
    FireOpalCO Posts: 641 Member
    Question 1: Does your trainer have any real formal training in nutrition?

    Question 2: Is your contract with a fitness center or with her specifically?

    I would request a new trainer if it is with a fitness center. If with her specifically I would tell her that your nutrition is off limits. If she argues or asks why, tell because YOU are the client and YOU set the parameters of your business relationship.

    I've met some good trainers and some mediocre ones. Even the good ones who were highly educated had screwy ideas about nutrition. With the body fat percentage change you're talking about, ignore it. Look at body shape, increased endurance/capability, and how you feel.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Why do people on MFP eat back their exercise calories? What's the point of exercising?

    Research NEAT calculators versus a TDEE calculators. It's pretty easy to figure out.
  • denizfindigi
    denizfindigi Posts: 41
    You should feel comfortable with your trainer. If you don't I suggest that you change her and find someone with whom you can work better. My trainer has just graduated and he is really into his job. He pushes me when he has to and gets involved with what I eat however I do not feel offended because I am comfortable..

    So - what you eat really makes a difference if you ask me. I used to always stay under the calorie count and somehow managed to gain weight, then, I started to put effort into what I was eating and when I was eating it. I started to cook myself and see what goes into a single dish etc.

    As for the artificial stuff.. In today's world there is artificial stuff even in the air you breathe, I do not believe that our bodies are so sensitive to those anymore. Do not harm yourself by eating TOO much artificial flavoring etc. but do not get obsessed over it. Light greek yougurt is just fine, there is something else that must be not right and you have to figure that out.

    Best of luck,
    Deniz
  • fvtfan
    fvtfan Posts: 126 Member
    Question 1: Does your trainer have any real formal training in nutrition?

    Question 2: Is your contract with a fitness center or with her specifically?

    I would request a new trainer if it is with a fitness center. If with her specifically I would tell her that your nutrition is off limits. If she argues or asks why, tell because YOU are the client and YOU set the parameters of your business relationship.

    I've met some good trainers and some mediocre ones. Even the good ones who were highly educated had screwy ideas about nutrition. With the body fat percentage change you're talking about, ignore it. Look at body shape, increased endurance/capability, and how you feel.

    Honestly - I do not know, but she did set me up with someone different this week so I am hoping maybe I can switch. She did admit that she has no nutrition training...and didn't understand what I meant when I said I thought weight loss was all about calories in/calories out. I think I have learned more reading this forum than I did from her OR WW.
  • Azurite27
    Azurite27 Posts: 554 Member
    How are you calculating your calories earned? You may want to try eating a percentage less and see if that helps. I know I have to periodically make adjustments to the calories I eat back when my body gets used to certain exercises and becomes more efficient or I up my difficulty.

    Also, as far as clean eating, sodium can mask your weight loss but no you don't need to eat "clean" unless you want to or need to for other health reasons. Different people react to different foods differently and you just need to find what works for you. Personally I've found that 80-100g of protein, 30% fat, and slightly higher sodium and sugar works best for me.
  • RabbitLost
    RabbitLost Posts: 333 Member
    Meh. Eat like a rabbit. I do and I lost 40 pounds.:glasses:

    But I weigh my food, I use a heart rate monitor for my calories burned and I watch my macros (protein, fat, carbs). I'm not a fan of the phrase "eating clean". But I have found myself leaning to more organic meats and vegetables. And I have really started to like snacks like hummus and almonds and all that. But it took almost a year to break the bad habits of splurge eating a box (yes, box) of cereal or a sleeve of Oreo cookies.

    Also, I went through about 4 trainers over 6 years. 2 years ago, I found a great fit. I am still with him. I wish you the best of luck.
  • FireOpalCO
    FireOpalCO Posts: 641 Member
    Why do people on MFP eat back their exercise calories? What's the point of exercising?

    Because the base calories listed is already giving you enough of a deficit to lose weight. When you exercise you burn additional calories so your body needs more to survive. Depending on how large a deficit you are working with initially, failure to eat those calories back could be less then ideal (too large of a daily deficit). The plus side of exercising is you have a little bit more space to meet your macro & micro requirements for the day and maybe the occasional treat. That flexibility can keep someone from falling off the wagon.

    It's a math equation.

    The other point of exercise: get stronger, faster, look better, and be more flexible.
  • fvtfan
    fvtfan Posts: 126 Member
    How are you calculating your calories earned? You may want to try eating a percentage less and see if that helps. I know I have to periodically make adjustments to the calories I eat back when my body gets used to certain exercises and becomes more efficient or I up my difficulty.

    I have a heart rate monitor that I use for cardio and have stopped counting my strength training calories since I read the HRM doesn't work well for that.
  • CA_Underdog
    CA_Underdog Posts: 733 Member
    Why do people on MFP eat back their exercise calories?
    To achieve our weight loss goals--e.g., to lose a healthy 1-2lbs per week. Also, if you exercise at moderate levels, not eating back your calories can lead to illness, slow recovery, and lethargy.
    What's the point of exercising?
    Generally to improve the strength and endurance of our muscles, enabling us to live longer, look better, and excel at whatever physical challenges we set our minds to. It can also allow us to eat more. ;)
  • hlcook
    hlcook Posts: 92 Member
    I think nutrition is VERY important to losing weight. I think you should try it her way and don't cheat for even just a month... and see if she's right.

    I spent years trying to train myself into a more slender (but still strong) body and it wasn't until I hooked up with my trainer (who works in the same industry, but only does consultation via email, no face-to-face sessions) and he made it clear that if I listened to him, I'd lose weight ... and I did and I'm healthier and stronger now than I've ever been in my life.

    So yes, if you don't change what you're doing, you're going to keep getting the same results. I could tell you what I think you should do or analyze your diary but if you aren't willing to adjust your diet then it doesn't matter.

    What I do is play with the macros, hitting a much higher protein number (with effort) and not necessarily limiting carbs but definitely prioritizing protein over carbs. And I only cheat 1 meal per week. And 3.5L of water a day ... I don't personally eat back my calories.

    But this doesn't really matter, I don't know you or your challenges/history/etc ... I didn't know the right way to do it when I started so I found a trainer and he's gotten me results.

    Also I love Alan Aragon... so ... what he said ...
  • Nancy33333
    Nancy33333 Posts: 32 Member
    This will be MFP heresy, but I think you should ignore eating back your exercise calories. Between August and March, I did just that, and I lost 35 pounds, which I've kept off so far. I have a dietician, separate from my trainer, and I met with the dietician earlier this week. Her view was that only elite athletes should be worrying about exercise calories. I'm a little taller 5'4" and about 10 years older, and I lost the weight at about 1450 calories a day. She's upped my calories a bit for maintenance, but said not to factor in my exercise calories. I go to the gym for 90 minutes two days a week, mostly weight training, but 25 min of cardio each day, plus a 35 minute run once a week. Best wishes for success.
  • kjarvo
    kjarvo Posts: 236 Member
    I know this comes up all the time but are your calories accurate. There is a lot of measuring by cups. How do you know if something is 1/2 exactly, like for the boiled rice did you put the cooked rice in the cup or estimate? You might be adding 300 calories unintentionally which would put you at maintenance. Weighing your food pre-cooking with a digital scale is probably the most accurate method. Also everything seems very precise, 100g, 50g, 300g etc, are these estimations? sorry if they aren't.
  • melnorwich
    melnorwich Posts: 60 Member
    Hi
    I had a very similar experience to you. I lost 3 stone and plateaued for 6 months plus, despite eating at a deficit and working out hard and then started to re-gain. Nothing changed until i reduced the stress in my life and cleaned up my diet. Its not perfectly clean but it is primarily healthy, nutritious food. Although this woman's way of suggesting things might not have been ideal, it might be worth giving her suggestions a go anyway - what do you have to loose. It certainly has worked for me. I didnt make overnight changes, but simply read up a lot and made small changes when i felt ready. Over time these add up. To me the health benefits of the changes spurred me on and I now really enjoy food immensely and would never go back to my old eating habits. Before I was eating out of cravings and had a range of insignificant but frustrating and embarrasing symptoms. Now I love eating and get excited about deciding what to have. I now eat food because i enjoy it and can enjoy flavours that werent there before. I dont have any guilt about what i have eaten.

    My suggestion would be that you implement some of the changes that she recommended for 2 weeks ..... just to see what happens.

    Mel
  • fvtfan
    fvtfan Posts: 126 Member
    I know this comes up all the time but are your calories accurate. There is a lot of measuring by cups. How do you know if something is 1/2 exactly, like for the boiled rice did you put the cooked rice in the cup or estimate? You might be adding 300 calories unintentionally which would put you at maintenance. Weighing your food pre-cooking with a digital scale is probably the most accurate method. Also everything seems very precise, 100g, 50g, 300g etc, are these estimations? sorry if they aren't.

    I weigh everything when I have the ability to - when I am at home. The precise ones are exactly what I ate - to the point where I will put one chip back in the bag so I am not over.
  • paulawatkins1974
    paulawatkins1974 Posts: 720 Member
    You got it right. I don't have advice for you, but I will say to take the fitness advice from her and not nutrition. There's some reason you're not losing, but there's no dirty food.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I don't believe that you need to eat clean. I don't and never have.

    I did reach a point, however, where I had to start weighing my food. It doesn't look like you're doing that from your diary. Are you? I also see some generic entries. Try this:

    http://www.fitnessfactreview.com/the-art-science-of-calorie-counting/


    eta: I see you answered above. How many times per week are you eating away from home?
  • RabbitLost
    RabbitLost Posts: 333 Member
    Honestly - I do not know, but she did set me up with someone different this week so I am hoping maybe I can switch. She did admit that she has no nutrition training...and didn't understand what I meant when I said I thought weight loss was all about calories in/calories out. I think I have learned more reading this forum than I did from her OR WW.

    I've learned way more from MFP and the suggested links and research from certain users and focus than I ever did through trainers. Just to clarify, when I told my current trainer that I use MFP for my calories, his response was perfect. He basically said, Good enough. And he never brought it up again.
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    How is she measuring your BF%? Most techniques have an error of 5-8% depending on your hydration level and operator error (aka, she doesn't know how to use calipers or you are using a crappy bioimpedance meter).
  • FireOpalCO
    FireOpalCO Posts: 641 Member
    Okay I looked at your dairy and have a few small suggestions that do not amount to "artificial flavors are making you fat".

    I'm not seeing much food volume for your calorie count. When you make dinner try to have half your plate be raw or steamed veggies or fruit. The other half can be your protein or spaghetti, whatever. That will give you lots of fiber (another problem I'm seeing) with a low calorie count. I see broccoli and cheese. If you want to add flavoring to your veggies instead of cheese, Mrs. Dash has a wide variety of spice mixes you can buy and sprinkle on top.

    Snacks seem pretty non-existent. Again fruits and veggies. I swear Costco must wonder at the amount of strawberries, blueberries, and apples I'm eating.

    I definitely converted over to the "weigh your food" camp. Strawberries and other oddly shaped food can be hard to do "a cup" but 100 grams, easy.

    Buy magnum mini bars and have those instead of the full size ones when you need a spot of sweet.

    Since there will be fluctuations in calories counts and burn estimates, only eat back 50% of your exercise calories and see it that improves things.

    Track your water and anything else you drink. Keep your body well hydrated. Because according to your diary, the only thing you've had is alcohol, no water, no tea, no coffee, no fruit juice, no milk.

    There are definitely items on there where what you think you are ingesting and reality can be very different (restaurants meals are notorious for having way more calories then you think). You may think you are having 700 calories and are having 1,200 or more.
  • sun_fish
    sun_fish Posts: 864 Member
    This is a great post, written by one of the moderators of the Eat, Train, Progress group that was recommended.
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1175494-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    I do not eat clean. I pay attention to calories, making sure I meet my protein and fat goals (set by the formula you will read about in that link). I eat chocolate almost everyday. I just ate some cinnamon roll bread. I have lost 60 pounds.

    Your trainer is crazy.

    Edited to add: How are you measuring your body fat%? Most methods have some level of inaccuracy, so you may not have gained 1%.
  • kjarvo
    kjarvo Posts: 236 Member
    I know this comes up all the time but are your calories accurate. There is a lot of measuring by cups. How do you know if something is 1/2 exactly, like for the boiled rice did you put the cooked rice in the cup or estimate? You might be adding 300 calories unintentionally which would put you at maintenance. Weighing your food pre-cooking with a digital scale is probably the most accurate method. Also everything seems very precise, 100g, 50g, 300g etc, are these estimations? sorry if they aren't.

    I weigh everything when I have the ability to - when I am at home. The precise ones are exactly what I ate - to the point where I will put one chip back in the bag so I am not over.

    sorry, like many other English people's comments, measuring my cups just baffles me. I just don't know how it is used to weigh anything other than flour, pulses etc lol. Especially cooked food :S or oddly shaped items :S
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    Just to put it out there, I've never been to a trainer. My husband met with a trainer at our gym for 3 sessions, which was extremely beneficial for him, b/c he learned how to use the equipment properly and got instruction on proper form. He then started to use a strength-training program on his own.

    Then he showed me how to use the various machines, different movements with dumbbells. He is now helping me with my form on bench, squat, deadlift. So, you don't necessarily NEED a trainer. What you need is a strength-training program to follow...and someone to check you form when you first start.

    Honestly if you have been at a plateau since last fall...something isn't working...and it might not be your diet. If I were you, I would evaluate my diet...see what I could change. I know for myself...I had to cut back on sugar (I wasn't consuming a lot, but I was consuming some form of a sweet treat everyday). It might be time to change your gym routine too. If you are only meeting with your trainer twice a month, you are doing most of the work alone anyway. Try a new program.
  • CA_Underdog
    CA_Underdog Posts: 733 Member
    No loss is unexpected based on your foods logs for the past month.

    Have you considered a DEXA scan and V02 testing? Sure, these each are an extra $50, but they would help you calculate your calories burned during exercising, body fat percentage, and daily metabolic rate more accurately. If you're hiring personal trainers, you probably have discretionary funds for fitness.

    Obviously, if you're not using a food scale, start there.
  • ashlafer
    ashlafer Posts: 42 Member
    OP: Please, please, PLEASE do some research on IIFYM (If It Fits Your Macros). It addresses your concerns directly! There are SO many people in the fitness industry who are tired of eating clean and yoyoing between super-strict dieting and huge guilt-ridden binges, you're not the first! :):):) I've been slowly rebuilding my metabolism in the last month through IIFYM (aka flexible dieting), and have seen a great fat loss progress. Of course, this isn't just because of my diet--I kick *kitten* and lift intensely at the gym :) But I was on the low-calorie-restricted-clean-eating-going-nowhere train for a year and a half, unhappy and without progress.

    Good places to start:
    http://iifym.com/
    http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/diet-doesnt-need-to-mean-denial.html
    Look up "iifym" and "flexible dieting" on instagram for some CRAZY inspiration!
    http://www.brittanydawnfitness.com/ (This is the IIFYM QUEEN. She works her *kitten* off in the gym and eats over 3000 calories a DAY. Follow her on Facebook!)

    There's a "secret" facebook group just for women, full of inspiration, ideas, and Q&As...members are SUPER supportive, and are all in different walks of life (women who are just getting started, women who have been doing IIFYM for years, women in between, obese/overweight women, women who are coming out of a lifetime of eating disorders, young women, old women, bikini and physique bodybuilding competitors...you name it): https://www.facebook.com/groups/574355965957597/
    ^^This also has multiple tabs where you can read some solid advice and FAQs. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE look at this! It's not a miracle diet, there's no pills or laxatives or magical ingredient involved. You CAN pay for and get a coach, but there's no "catch" to it. Just dedication, knowledge, and hard work. And believe me, it pays off...as in, I eat cookies, peanut butter, and chocolate on a daily basis (in moderation, and they always fit into my macros) and am actually starting to see my abs for the first time! :)
  • Branstin
    Branstin Posts: 2,320 Member
    Get rid of the trainer and read this link:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
  • fvtfan
    fvtfan Posts: 126 Member
    Thanks everyone - my plan is to take what she said try to incorporate some of her thoughts, I know I could be better about eating vegetables. Prior to April 28th I wasn't paying nearly the attention I should have been so I am hoping if I just keep on the path I am on the scale will move.

    Interesting about the body fat % - she does the calipers, perhaps she is not using them in the exact same spots every time. I hate that the numbers get me down, I am losing inches, which made the body fat increase even more confusing to me.

    I really don't have extra income to be wasting on a trainer that is not helping me. I will definitely check out the links and groups everyone provided.

    As for my diary - if it says "cups" I probably scanned it, but I did weigh out the appropriate grams rather than use a cup - I do know that cups are for liquids. I should probably set up my own foods and weights so I am not trying to use something already in the database all the time.

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