Vegetarian girlfriend is having low carb diet troubles

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my girlfriend is 21, 5' 1" roughly 110 lbs, and vegetarian. she is fairly active, jogs on occaision and works as a valet attendant at least 3 days a week, so is always running around there. she is not satisfied with her appearance or number on the scale no matter what i tell her. im sure you can imagine how it goes. shes had some weight issues in the past, mostly troubles with weighing in too often and some other misconceptions about her appearance, saw doctors, etc. it was rough.

about a month ago she started on a low carb,high protein diet plan after trying hyrdoxicut which gave her headaches and made her sick. prior to that was a low calorie diet.

she started this low carb, high protein diet about two weeks after the hydroxicut, weighing about 120 lbs. she has a goal of 105 or 100. personally i feel as though thats a bit excessive, given her height and already very slim appearance but am doing my best to be supportive of her without letting it get out of hand. her total daily carb intake has been less than 20 grams.
the first week in she dropped about 2.5-3 lbs and was feeling great. her diet consisted (and still does) largely of eggs and tuna, occaisionally some cheese. with very little else in between since, being vegetarian her menu choices were already quite limited.
by the second week she was down to about 115lbs but hit a roadblock, as it was "that time." when it passed, she was about the same but quickly dropped another 1-2 lbs, still feeling excellent. good energy level, good moods, low stress, etc.
at the beginning of the third week she went on a week long dig (shes an archaeology student) and after expressing many concerns decided to shelve the diet for the week. her meals consisted mostly of fast foods on the road trip, snacks, nuts, restaruant food, and of course a few beers with the crew every night. so needless to say, carbs abounded that week.

upon returning home at the end of the week she immediately began the low carb eating again, keeping the numbers very low, still less than 20g and weighed in at just over 111lbs, much to our surprise. throughout the course of this diet there have been noticeable changes in her appearance, mostly in the hips/thighs/butt area and in her shoulders.
all seemed to be going wonderfully until this past week when some problems started.
-she weighed in on tuesday at about 110 lbs, but was having some trouble getting accurate readings from the scale.
-wednesday she was up to 111 lbs.
-between thursday night to friday morning, she weighed in at 113.
-she has been feeling sick, complains of an "i just are a brick" feeling.
-she seems fatigued
-she has had some issues passing foods, i found out today that on the entire week long dig, she did not pass foods even one time.
-she is very stressed and frustrated at this point, feeling like it was a waste of the month.
-she cannot stay away from the scale, which only stresses her more seeing the numbers go up.
-i KNOW she is not eating enough. she wanted to try to increase calorie intake, closer to 1200 or slightly higher.
-she currently does not caluclate off of net carbs (total carb minus fiber and sugars)
-regardless of feeling sick and having issues passing foods, she wants to continue with this diet plan.

ive been reading tons of forums and researching, trying to find some answers to ease her mind a little or help her get back on track. i spent some time reading here and based on all of that i have some questions for those who know more than i:

-what might be causing her weight gain this week?
-should she have more than 20g of carbs a day and will more cause her to gain more weight again?
-is her goal of 105 or 100 lbs unrealistic or unhealthy?
-what can she do about the issue with passing the food? i thought some more fiber, since those carbs do not matter anyway, right?
-is it possible to get back on track with her low carb diet and what can she do?
-is it better to calculate net carbs and omit fiber and sugars for a low carb diet?
-SHOULD she even be on a low carb diet?
-how can i put her mind at ease over what she sees on the scale and what she sees in the mirror?
-what are possible causes of weight gain on a low carb diet? i have read sodium, water retention from exercising, too few calories, not eating enough..

i cant stand to see her do this to herself, feeling sick and wanting to lose weight that just.. doesnt seem to come off or even be there in the first place. i am trying my best to be supportive of her. no matter how good i say she looks or how great the progress is, she still sees "rolls" or "too large a butt" among other things, and as i said, she seems to have hit a standstill in weight loss and is slowy gaining some back! any help and adive you can offer me to pass on to her is greatly appreciated.
thankyou.
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Replies

  • missiontofitness
    missiontofitness Posts: 4,074 Member
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    If there is no medical reason for her to do so, she should not be cutting carbs. Unless she wants to live low carb forever, there's no point in cutting them, especially if there is no medical need. Her negative symptoms are probably due to her suddenly cutting almost all carbs out of her diet.

    Weight loss is calories in/calories out. Simple as that.

    In regards to weight gain, the fluctuations were most likely water weight. Unless she was burning 3,500 calories multiple times per week, or eating 3,500+ calories per day the times she gained, there's no way that would have happened.

    It sounds like she is yo-yoing in between fads, and she is not going to see success with that. She should also be aiming for .5lb/week since her goal is so small. She should also not go any further than that, as her BMI will start to dip to an unhealthy level.

    Edit: forgot to add this. I would also closely monitor her for signs of an ED. Eating under 1,200 calories, cutting out carbs, and wanting to continue despite negative reactions by her body does not seem like a good sign to me. Please keep an eye on her, and get help if this starts to escalate into ED behaviors immediately.
  • glasshalffull713
    glasshalffull713 Posts: 323 Member
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    Yeah, I hate to say it sounds like an eating disorder or at least body dysmorphic disorder. I think she is in her normal weight range, and her body probably likes being at that healthy weight!

    Cutting out whole food groups is not a good idea. She needs fiber to carry on regular body functions, like pooping! Sheesh! And on top of that- you can lose weight while still eating all types of foods. It's how many calories. If she eats to little it will wreak havoc on her metabolism.

    Probably she should stop focusing on her weight and focus on changing her body composition through exercise. If she doesn't like her butt, do squats and lunges and build some muscle there! If she thinks she has rolls, do some planks and crunches. I think she will have better results. The shape of my body changed and I went down a clothing size, but I didn't lose any weight. Strength training can tone and firm you!

    Unfortunately, I don't think any advice anyone will give you here will help, because you pointed out yourself that she is seeing things that aren't there, and she can't be convinced otherwise. There is a good chance that even if she got to whatever unrealistic goal weight she has, she still would see herself in a way that nobody else does. Best of luck. You obviously care about her. Hopefully she will get some help.
  • SharonNehring
    SharonNehring Posts: 535 Member
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    The weight gain and feeling full like there's a brick in her stomach is likely due to her constipation. She really does need to get some fiber into her diet and drink a lot of fluids. Given that she seems to be bordering on an eating disorder, I hate to recommend taking laxatives, but she may need to do so for the short term to get her system moving again.

    My best recommendation is to get her to see a doctor and be evaluated. It may sound odd, but a bowel impaction can have very serious consequences if not relieved.

    That said, doing fad diets, taking diet pills, eating too few calories, not eating enough variety to ensure that she's getting the nutrients she needs, trying to attain a weight that's too low for her all point to a real problem. Again, she needs to see a doctor and frankly discuss these issues. Meeting with a dietician who can help her develop a healthy eating plan would be extremely helpful too.
  • SnatchPosse
    SnatchPosse Posts: 28 Member
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    my girlfriend is 21, 5' 1" roughly 110 lbs, and vegetarian. she is fairly active, jogs on occaision and works as a valet attendant at least 3 days a week, so is always running around there. she is not satisfied with her appearance or number on the scale no matter what i tell her. im sure you can imagine how it goes. shes had some weight issues in the past, mostly troubles with weighing in too often and some other misconceptions about her appearance, saw doctors, etc. it was rough.

    about a month ago she started on a low carb,high protein diet plan after trying hyrdoxicut which gave her headaches and made her sick. prior to that was a low calorie diet.

    she started this low carb, high protein diet about two weeks after the hydroxicut, weighing about 120 lbs. she has a goal of 105 or 100. personally i feel as though thats a bit excessive, given her height and already very slim appearance but am doing my best to be supportive of her without letting it get out of hand. her total daily carb intake has been less than 20 grams.
    the first week in she dropped about 2.5-3 lbs and was feeling great. her diet consisted (and still does) largely of eggs and tuna, occaisionally some cheese. with very little else in between since, being vegetarian her menu choices were already quite limited.
    by the second week she was down to about 115lbs but hit a roadblock, as it was "that time." when it passed, she was about the same but quickly dropped another 1-2 lbs, still feeling excellent. good energy level, good moods, low stress, etc.
    at the beginning of the third week she went on a week long dig (shes an archaeology student) and after expressing many concerns decided to shelve the diet for the week. her meals consisted mostly of fast foods on the road trip, snacks, nuts, restaruant food, and of course a few beers with the crew every night. so needless to say, carbs abounded that week.

    upon returning home at the end of the week she immediately began the low carb eating again, keeping the numbers very low, still less than 20g and weighed in at just over 111lbs, much to our surprise. throughout the course of this diet there have been noticeable changes in her appearance, mostly in the hips/thighs/butt area and in her shoulders.
    all seemed to be going wonderfully until this past week when some problems started.
    -she weighed in on tuesday at about 110 lbs, but was having some trouble getting accurate readings from the scale.
    -wednesday she was up to 111 lbs.
    -between thursday night to friday morning, she weighed in at 113.
    -she has been feeling sick, complains of an "i just are a brick" feeling.
    -she seems fatigued
    -she has had some issues passing foods, i found out today that on the entire week long dig, she did not pass foods even one time.
    -she is very stressed and frustrated at this point, feeling like it was a waste of the month.
    -she cannot stay away from the scale, which only stresses her more seeing the numbers go up.
    -i KNOW she is not eating enough. she wanted to try to increase calorie intake, closer to 1200 or slightly higher.
    -she currently does not caluclate off of net carbs (total carb minus fiber and sugars)
    -regardless of feeling sick and having issues passing foods, she wants to continue with this diet plan.

    ive been reading tons of forums and researching, trying to find some answers to ease her mind a little or help her get back on track. i spent some time reading here and based on all of that i have some questions for those who know more than i:

    -what might be causing her weight gain this week?
    -should she have more than 20g of carbs a day and will more cause her to gain more weight again?
    -is her goal of 105 or 100 lbs unrealistic or unhealthy?
    -what can she do about the issue with passing the food? i thought some more fiber, since those carbs do not matter anyway, right?
    -is it possible to get back on track with her low carb diet and what can she do?
    -is it better to calculate net carbs and omit fiber and sugars for a low carb diet?
    -SHOULD she even be on a low carb diet?
    -how can i put her mind at ease over what she sees on the scale and what she sees in the mirror?
    -what are possible causes of weight gain on a low carb diet? i have read sodium, water retention from exercising, too few calories, not eating enough..

    i cant stand to see her do this to herself, feeling sick and wanting to lose weight that just.. doesnt seem to come off or even be there in the first place. i am trying my best to be supportive of her. no matter how good i say she looks or how great the progress is, she still sees "rolls" or "too large a butt" among other things, and as i said, she seems to have hit a standstill in weight loss and is slowy gaining some back! any help and adive you can offer me to pass on to her is greatly appreciated.
    thankyou.

    I'm sorry to hear that she (and you) are going through this. I followed a similar pattern of always wanting to lose more weight despite being thin and fit (this was many years ago) and it ended in anorexia. Coming back from that left me at a higher set point with my weight and I never fully regained athletic ability. There's not a whole lot you can do or say when someone's going down that path but I think it would be ok to gently broach the subject if she continues to lose weight. On the positive side, lifting weights (heavy weights, within reason) can really transform your body and most women don't bulk up. As another poster mentioned, maybe focusing on squats, etc. to build muscle might actually make her happier with the parts she doesn't like now. For me at least, the endorphin rush from heavy lifting was better than any runner's high I've had.

    On the carb thing, she should really talk to a nutritionist if it's covered by insurance or she's in a position to be able to afford it. I'm a vegetarian and don't eat eggs and my attempt at low carb was miserable. But she eats fish, which are not vegetarian, and eggs, so those are good sources of protein she can use to fill out her diet. If she's feeling bad, she's probably not eating enough calories period. She's lucky she has someone as supportive as you are. Be patient with her-it's very hard to change ingrained conceptions of our bodies, even if they're not accurate.
  • robertf57
    robertf57 Posts: 560 Member
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    I hate to say it; but, what you describe suggests a signficiant eating disorder. Please advise your girlfriend to see a physician for an evaluation and possible referral to a psychologist. This could be a serious issue ofr you two.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    Aw, I'm sorry for what you are going through right now. You sound very compassionate and like a good partner to her.

    Due to her preoccupation with the scale, foods, and her dissatisfaction with how she looks at a fairly normal weight, it truly does sound like she has an eating disorder. Is there a way you can share with her how her preoccupation bothers you? How you really want to be able to help but you don't know what to do?

    I also agree that it's a good idea to tell her that she needs to see her doctor.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
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    Take her to a counselor who specializes in eating disorders. Both of you go together for the first few sessions as you are close to her.
  • redraidergirl2009
    redraidergirl2009 Posts: 2,560 Member
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    First Tuna isn't vegetarian.

    Second, you body needs carbs. Without enough carbs you feel like heated up crap especially if you are active
  • _Zardoz_
    _Zardoz_ Posts: 3,987 Member
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    She's not a Vegetarian. What plant does Tuna come from?
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    To those of you commenting on the tuna- I thought vegetarians eat fish, but vegans eat only plant based food.
  • BlackRose101
    BlackRose101 Posts: 117 Member
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    To those of you commenting on the tuna- I thought vegetarians eat fish, but vegans eat only plant based food.

    what she is is called a pescetarian. Most people just say vegetarian because nobody knows what a pescetarian is lol. Vegetarians eat eggs and drink milk. Vegans do neither and stay off of most animal products (some may eat honey).

    OP, I would gently ask her to see a doctor. This is not something that we can adequately answer. A doctor would know best.
  • lioness803
    lioness803 Posts: 325 Member
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    Pescetarians eat fish but no red meat or poultry, vegetarians eat no flesh, vegans eat no animal products.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    She will gain WEIGHT if the carbs go up, because glycogen will be replenished, but it IS NOT FAT. Glycogen is an immediate, short term energy reserve.

    If she's still trying to lose weight at 110lbs, there are bigger issues afoot. Likely if she feels she still looks fat, she has little appreciable muscle mass, which is what gives a firmer appearance.
  • segovm
    segovm Posts: 512 Member
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    Wouldn't a low carb vegetarian basicly just be the definition of an eating disorder?

    I was a vegetarian who didn't like vegetables for a while and I'm pretty sure I had an eating disorder.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    it sounds like she needs to start doing weight lifting or some other form of strength training and build up her muscles a bit... it's common for women to not be happy with how they look even at their goal weight, because although they're at the right weight for them, their body fat percentage is still a little high. So they may be thin, but they still look and feel soft, rather than toned.... in this situation most of them think that losing a few more pounds will fix it... but it won't. Building up the muscles is what's going to firm up their body. She's at more risk of loss of lean mass when dieting due to being vegetarian. She should continue to eat a high protein diet, but with moderate carbs (not low carb) and while lifting weights. I'd recommend a programme like Stronglifts 5x5 or Starting Strength. She also needs to change her focus from *weight* to *body composition*... she may get heavier as a result, but with more muscle mass and a little less fat she should end up liking her appearance a lot more, and many women who do strength training find that it also helps to improve self confidence and it helps with feeling generally better about yourself.

    This article illustrates what I mean about the difference between losing weight and improving body composition: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

    (be sure to look at all the pics.. there are some "half way" progress pics... make sure you see the "after" pics as well)
  • seashel812
    seashel812 Posts: 25
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    my girlfriend is 21, 5' 1" roughly 110 lbs, and vegetarian. she is fairly active, jogs on occaision and works as a valet attendant at least 3 days a week, so is always running around there. she is not satisfied with her appearance or number on the scale no matter what i tell her. im sure you can imagine how it goes. shes had some weight issues in the past, mostly troubles with weighing in too often and some other misconceptions about her appearance, saw doctors, etc. it was rough.

    about a month ago she started on a low carb,high protein diet plan after trying hyrdoxicut which gave her headaches and made her sick. prior to that was a low calorie diet.

    she started this low carb, high protein diet about two weeks after the hydroxicut, weighing about 120 lbs. she has a goal of 105 or 100. personally i feel as though thats a bit excessive, given her height and already very slim appearance but am doing my best to be supportive of her without letting it get out of hand. her total daily carb intake has been less than 20 grams.
    the first week in she dropped about 2.5-3 lbs and was feeling great. her diet consisted (and still does) largely of eggs and tuna, occaisionally some cheese. with very little else in between since, being vegetarian her menu choices were already quite limited.
    by the second week she was down to about 115lbs but hit a roadblock, as it was "that time." when it passed, she was about the same but quickly dropped another 1-2 lbs, still feeling excellent. good energy level, good moods, low stress, etc.
    at the beginning of the third week she went on a week long dig (shes an archaeology student) and after expressing many concerns decided to shelve the diet for the week. her meals consisted mostly of fast foods on the road trip, snacks, nuts, restaruant food, and of course a few beers with the crew every night. so needless to say, carbs abounded that week.

    upon returning home at the end of the week she immediately began the low carb eating again, keeping the numbers very low, still less than 20g and weighed in at just over 111lbs, much to our surprise. throughout the course of this diet there have been noticeable changes in her appearance, mostly in the hips/thighs/butt area and in her shoulders.
    all seemed to be going wonderfully until this past week when some problems started.
    -she weighed in on tuesday at about 110 lbs, but was having some trouble getting accurate readings from the scale.
    -wednesday she was up to 111 lbs.
    -between thursday night to friday morning, she weighed in at 113.
    -she has been feeling sick, complains of an "i just are a brick" feeling.
    -she seems fatigued
    -she has had some issues passing foods, i found out today that on the entire week long dig, she did not pass foods even one time.
    -she is very stressed and frustrated at this point, feeling like it was a waste of the month.
    -she cannot stay away from the scale, which only stresses her more seeing the numbers go up.
    -i KNOW she is not eating enough. she wanted to try to increase calorie intake, closer to 1200 or slightly higher.
    -she currently does not caluclate off of net carbs (total carb minus fiber and sugars)
    -regardless of feeling sick and having issues passing foods, she wants to continue with this diet plan.

    ive been reading tons of forums and researching, trying to find some answers to ease her mind a little or help her get back on track. i spent some time reading here and based on all of that i have some questions for those who know more than i:

    -what might be causing her weight gain this week?
    -should she have more than 20g of carbs a day and will more cause her to gain more weight again?
    -is her goal of 105 or 100 lbs unrealistic or unhealthy?
    -what can she do about the issue with passing the food? i thought some more fiber, since those carbs do not matter anyway, right?
    -is it possible to get back on track with her low carb diet and what can she do?
    -is it better to calculate net carbs and omit fiber and sugars for a low carb diet?
    -SHOULD she even be on a low carb diet?
    -how can i put her mind at ease over what she sees on the scale and what she sees in the mirror?
    -what are possible causes of weight gain on a low carb diet? i have read sodium, water retention from exercising, too few calories, not eating enough..

    i cant stand to see her do this to herself, feeling sick and wanting to lose weight that just.. doesnt seem to come off or even be there in the first place. i am trying my best to be supportive of her. no matter how good i say she looks or how great the progress is, she still sees "rolls" or "too large a butt" among other things, and as i said, she seems to have hit a standstill in weight loss and is slowy gaining some back! any help and adive you can offer me to pass on to her is greatly appreciated.
    thankyou.
    It's not completely accurate but I like to go by the 5 pound rule (for women). That means that someone who is 5'0 is trim at 100 pounds and then you add 5 pounds per inch. So for someone like me who's 5'4 I should be good at 120. And it's more or less true. When im around 115-120 I feel best. So someone at her height of 5'1 could be ok at 105. It sounds like has some disordered eating habits though for sure.
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
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    Yes she needs a doctor and/or nutritionist. I'm guessing is also getting a LOT of attention from you it seems. She can eat all foods and count calories to lose weight. No point saying she vegetarian when clearly she's not.
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
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    If she's eating than it's not an eating disorder, and accusing her of mental illness is going to bring your relationship a world of problems. Drop that bologna.

    You know your girl ate and drank a ton last week and gained, so she's not eating too little.

    She's just confused on how to tweak her diet to get the response she wants.

    That's ****ing normal. We've all been through it.

    She's a woman, it's natural for her to feel self conscious and want to drop that last 10 lb for summer.

    Her haziness is normal, it's called "carb-flu" or "keto-flu" and is normal the week after going low carb. It will go away.

    Also be aware that consuming anymore than %15 protien in a day will cause the protien to metabolize as sugar, so the issue could be having too much protien.

    If she wants to be low carb tell her to shoot for %5 carbs, %15 protein and %80 fat (she'll have to get on that coconut oil and olive oil for it to work).

    PS Post this in a Keto group. Everyone here is CICO and thinks anyone who is not following their diet has an eating disorder. You'll get no pertinent help from them.
  • Rowan813
    Rowan813 Posts: 170 Member
    Options
    I hate to say it; but, what you describe suggests a significant eating disorder. Please advise your girlfriend to see a physician for an evaluation and possible referral to a psychologist. This could be a serious issue for you two.


    The nurse in me says this is your answer. She is lucky to have someone who cares so much. It also sounds like she needs to eat more for being so active.
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
    Options
    If she's eating than it's not an eating disorder, and accusing her of mental illness is going to bring your relationship a world of problems. Drop that bologna.

    You know your girl ate and drank a ton last week and gained, so she's not eating too little.

    She's just confused on how to tweak her diet to get the response she wants.

    That's ****ing normal. We've all been through it.

    She's a woman, it's natural for her to feel self conscious and want to drop that last 10 lb for summer.

    Her haziness is normal, it's called "carb-flu" or "keto-flu" and is normal the week after going low carb. It will go away.

    Also be aware that consuming anymore than %15 protien in a day will cause the protien to metabolize as sugar, so the issue could be having too much protien.

    If she wants to be low carb tell her to shoot for %5 carbs, %15 protein and %80 fat (she'll have to get on that coconut oil and olive oil for it to work).

    PS Post this in a Keto group. Everyone here is CICO and thinks anyone who is not following their diet has an eating disorder. You'll get no pertinent help from them.
    not sure what CICO is but I've re-read the OP and don't really think she has an ED either. She went and ate fast food, junk, and beers all week. Sounds like she's able to eat fine then feels guilty after. Normal. She needs to pick a plan and do it in a healthy way. And maybe you should give her some space to focus on her eating habits. Don't make it a big issue.