When you have 100 llbs+ to lose.

I'm down 10 lbs of the 90 lbs I have to lose. Like you, I have kids and a very busy work schedule. In fact, my husband and I own a small, home business so there's no escaping work, nor the long hours of running your own company. Also like you, I started the weight loss journey once before but stopped before I made it half way and ended up putting it back on (and a little more). I am confident that this time will be different as I'm working to make lifestyle changes, as Cheliaj mentioned.

The lifestyle changes I'm making that I feel will be successful is that I'm involving my kids. No one would look at my kids and call them fat but when I look at my kids, I can see they aren't the skinny kids they could be. It's not that we fill our house with junk food either, it's the lack of exercise, huge serving sizes and all the meals we eat out that are to blame. If I am ever going to be successful in not only losing the weight but keeping it off, then many aspects of our family's eating habits have to change.

What I've done this time around is to get my kids involved. My son is 6 and my daughter will be 9 in less than a month. My daughter is the heavier between the two, she has a bit of padding on her torso. We don't make her feel badly about it but as she tries on clothes and finds so many things don't fit her, she's becoming more aware. So now I've been getting the kids more involved with healthier choices.

The changes I've made:

-I bought a kitchen scale that's easy for them to use and have taught them how to read and serve out single serving sizes. Even they were surprised to see how little a serving size of cereal appears to be.

-I bought both kids a Striiv Smart. Now they are aware of how much exercise they're getting as well as it being easy for me to monitor. It's a great pedometer for kids, especially siblings. They can compare themselves to one another, race each other, and there's a little game built in that is fueled by their steps. (I liked the Striiv Smart so much, I bought myself one even though I have the Fitbit, now I just wear them both)

- I've taught the kids about healthier choices so even when my husband wants to got to a sports bar, the kids and I can help to keep each other strong. The kids have no problem pointing out if I'm not making a good choice and vice versa. On their own, they're choosing oranges over fries as a side dish!

-I'm taking more walks with the kids. It used to be that I'd take a walk at night with the dog after the kids went to bed. It was my alone time and I could keep a faster pace. Now that we're watching steps though, I'm bringing the kids along. They can walk a bit faster now and I'm ignoring bed time. They are allowed to stay up late to go for a walk (now that school's out) so their desire for a walk doesn't give me the excuse to skip it even if I don't feel like it.

I realize that it doesn't seem like big changes but I can't believe the improvements I've seen in such a short period of time. Overall, the kids and I are eating so much less food, getting more exercise and we're not constantly hungry. It's been a great way to connect with them. When I was single, I was skinny, healthy and active but that changed after meeting Mr. Right and having kids. Having a busy work schedule is exhausting and having kids on top of that is even more exhausting. It's just too easy to grab a fast food dinner when you're tired and then fall asleep on the couch watching TV.

I, too, have over 100 lbs to lose and these posts/replies have encouraged me today. I am only 4 lbs in but I know, from my years of experience, that 4 turns into 8 and 8 into 16 and 16 into 32....and so on. I am really trying to focus on the reasons I am doing this and not the reasons not to. I've already learned that the feeling of depriving myself that burger and fries is WAY less devestating than dealing with the nightly guilt of "another day done and another pound gained." I really want to do this! I know I can and seeing all of these posts inspires me to keep plugging along and one day, I'll be the one encouraging others with my numbers down

I am new here to, and have 75 pounds to lose.

I too have done the weight loss, then gaining it back and more cycle so many times I don't want to count them all. I think every "diet" works, as long as you can stick to it. I just started a new eating plan (I prefer that to diet) and I am just learning how to do this a different way than before. I am allowing myself to eat what I want, but calorie counting to stay within my BMR index.

I learned about BMR in a book I bought last week - Veggie's Not Included. This woman lost 130 pounds, it took her 1 1/2 years (the first year she lost the 100, the second 6 months the other 30) and what she did was eat whatever she wanted, but stayed within her BMR index. For her, at her weight and height, she allowed herself to eat 1500 calories per day, averaged at 5 days at a time. So on the days she went over that, she just learned to balance it out the next day or two, and still stay within her 1500 calories a day. She ate out at fast food most days, because not only can you figure out the calorie count easily, it is portion controlled for you.

And did I mention she didn't do any exercise? This is my kind of "diet"!

Of course, if you have health issues, this might not be for you. But whatever "diet" you are on, if you figure your BMR and stay within that average for 5 days, you will lose 1 pound every 5 days.

Congratulations on starting. I am sharing this because I am tired of the diets that are so restrictive - it is hard for me to stay on them for very long anymore. And this eating plan sounds like a no brainer. So far I have been on it for 4 days and lost a pound, didn't do any exercise and ate out at fast food every day. What I found was that I have to preplan what I am going to order and stay within my calories. That's it.

Good luck to both of us!

See my ticker? That's for the first half of my 100-pound goal. I get completely overwhelmed when I think about losing that much. I mean that's a serious accomplishment and takes serious work. I've found that much smaller goals help me stay focused. I'm not thinking about my ultimate goal (around 150-160) whatsoever. It never enters my mind unless I'm talking about it like I do now. For now my first goal is 200. I haven't been that since middle school. 50 pounds is a big goal, but now that I'm almost halfway there it doesn't seem so scary.

Make your goals smaller. Celebrate the small victories. Take it one day or week at a time.

I stay focused by thinking in small week by week goals. Also I only weigh myself once a week, to prevent daily obsessing. Trends show up when you look at your data week by week.

Keep it simple & break it down into smaller goals that work for you. If you needed to save $10000 for a house, thinking of the task would be overwhelming, so you'd break it down into a more manageable thing. Same thin here.

The only validation you really need comes from inside. If you lost another 40 and no one noticed, would that devalue what you have done in any way? hell, no.

Take it one day at a time (truly) & try to make the best choices you can in THAT day.

As far as balancing it with the demands of life? They will always be there. Learn to make yourself the priority, or you will wish you had farther down the road.

Just be happy with what YOU are DOING. By being here, you are part of the solution, not the problem


You got this

There is excellent information throughout this thread that I won't repeat, but I thought I'd throw a few things in here. You asked about potential stumbling blocks for your journey, so I thought I'd mention mine. My calorie budget is very reasonable (1520 currently) so I do not find that I am hungry. Getting downright starving hungry is a big problem for me, so I make sure to prevent it at all costs. I do it with strategic snacking of high protein food and a little carbs. Mostly I'm okay, but I swear, my TOM makes me feel like I am going to starve to DEATH. I know I am not starving. I am just fine. But I MUST EAT! This drives me bonkers. I find that my willpower is much less during the week prior and through my TOM so I need to be super careful what is in my house at that time. I have heard this is pretty common, so I wanted to mention it.

I have an open diary so feel free to look for meal and snack ideas if you want. Or send a friend request. Best of luck on your journey.

It is nice to hear others say they notice, but I am not doing this to get confirmation of others, it makes your success rely on other people, which is a very dangerous situation to be in. You need to be 100% independent in this - with or without others.

It is nice to hear others say they notice, but I am not doing this to get confirmation of others, it makes your success rely on other people, which is a very dangerous situation to be in. You need to be 100% independent in this - with or without others.

WE HAVE A WINNER! perfectly put

On short lunch and don't have time to read every word that precedes my post, but you're getting some great advice! Sorry if mine is redundant.

I have lost 94 so far and have a ways to go ... but here's what I've learned.

My advice is to put most of the conventional weight loss advice aside, and start tagging along the bodybuilders community. There are some exceedingly kind and generous souls who haven't been where we are with the very high weight and lack of fitness, but some of them have. I realized early on at MFP that almost everything I had been taught about weight loss was coming from people who profit from my failures, which are inevitable when you're doing things that make your body think it's starving and being punished. Instead, go for the long range and think about healing and building your body rather than simply reducing its size at any cost. Don't punish it with starvation, excessive exercise or self-hatred or judgement. Instead, love it into your plan.

1) Count calories, but don't overly restrict them. Lower is NOT better nor faster! You need to NEVER eat below your BMR (there are BMR calculators out there). This keeps your metabolism chugging, keeps you ON PLAN and gives you endurance.
2) Mix/alternate cardio and strength training. Read a book called "New Rules of Lifting for Women"
3) Don't eliminate ANY food group or macro. Try a balanced 40% carbs, 30% fat, 30% protein for a great reduction plan. Make it a priority to get your MINIMUMS as well as staying within maximums.
4) Drink water! Water comes in tea and coffee and lemonade too. If you drink something besides water, count it as BOTH water AND food, recording calories as well as fluid intake.
5) Don't junk up your diet with junk food, but allow yourself that occasional treat as long as you can keep it together. If you eat all your calories of junk food every day, your body will STILL think it's starving and will slow your metabolism. But eating strictly veggies is really no better. You need to find your balance. Some say 75-80% good healthy clean food, 20-25% "junk" is optimal. I find that this is too much for me to lose. Experiment and find what works best for you. Also look for sugar and other dangers on your labels. My yogurt for several months had more sugar in it than my ice cream! I eat the real deal, though---if I were to eat fake sugar, fake mayo, fake butter then I wouldn't be satisfied, and I'm not willing to put synthetic poisons into my system just to lose weight. I can assure you that I have lost all mine so far eating real bacon, real butter, real sour cream and real sugar. Animal fats are now believed to be super-good for you and carbs are essential to healthy body function.
6) Give yourself TIME to heal! As long as you're on the right road, don't sweat the timetable.
7) The scale measures your TOTAL weight, not just fat loss/gain. Scale readings can be affected by muscle gain, water gain (sugar and exercise both contribute) and by constipation! Use the scale for informing yourself on trends but don't hang your sense of success or failure on that single number. There are so many other ways you are succeeding!
8) Don't compare yourself to others. That can get very dangerous in terms of setting expectations too high.

Most importantly, be KIND TO THAT BODY! It's trying its best to keep up with your life decisions, give it room to heal and nurture it with good nutrition or else it will have no choice but to fail your expectations in the end.

You're in the right place!

FR sent. Great advice on this thread. Even though I have lost 100lbs, I see so much of it I need to take myself.

It is nice to hear others say they notice, but I am not doing this to get confirmation of others, it makes your success rely on other people, which is a very dangerous situation to be in. You need to be 100% independent in this - with or without others.

WE HAVE A WINNER! perfectly put
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Yes well put! Tomorrow is day 15 for me and my first weigh in ...I am not obsessing over the pounds as the lifestyle change and the way my clothes are feeling are rewards in it self!! I too am a shorty, 5' 4", at 237 two weeks ago, my goal, 155. I just today actually started feeling comfortable talking about my weight loss to others at work, and am fortunate to have a healthy support system at home and work as well.
I can use all the help I can get to help to motivate me to fet up and move more.

Anyone who would like to add me, please feel free, we can do this together and I know I need friends in the same situation.