Nervous to shop for wedding dresses...
willrun4bagels
Posts: 838 Member
I have an appointment to go try on wedding dresses for the first time in my life tomorrow evening after work. I almost cancelled the appointment last night. Not because I don't want to find a great dress to get married to a phenomenal guy in, but because I'm afraid I won't be happy with how I look in anything. I'm very anxious. I'm afraid I'll be one of those girls you see on those dumb wedding shows on TV that leave the store, crying, after trying on a dozen dresses because they don't feel like they look good in anything. I don't want to be that person anymore, but I don't know how to.
I'm also wishing I hadn't invited anyone to the appointment with me and just was going by myself so that if I was upset, or couldn't find anything I felt confident in, that no one else would see me have that reaction. I feel like if the consultant says "Let me just go get this in the next size up", I'll run out of the store, and get married wearing a potato sack and just forget the whole dress thing entirely.
We are having a very, very small wedding later this year, so I feel like I'm more anxious about this than I need to be. The only people that will be with us will be parents and siblings, so this really shouldn't be a big deal to me, but for some reason it still is.
Can anyone offer any advice to get over this? I still feel like canceling the appointment and just buying a dress online...
I'm also wishing I hadn't invited anyone to the appointment with me and just was going by myself so that if I was upset, or couldn't find anything I felt confident in, that no one else would see me have that reaction. I feel like if the consultant says "Let me just go get this in the next size up", I'll run out of the store, and get married wearing a potato sack and just forget the whole dress thing entirely.
We are having a very, very small wedding later this year, so I feel like I'm more anxious about this than I need to be. The only people that will be with us will be parents and siblings, so this really shouldn't be a big deal to me, but for some reason it still is.
Can anyone offer any advice to get over this? I still feel like canceling the appointment and just buying a dress online...
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Replies
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When is your wedding? Mine is in a year so my plan is to wait a few months before going dress shopping and hopefully I'll be at a more acceptable size by that time. Maybe you could reschedule the appointment for a few months out and try to drop some more pounds.0
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Just relax and know that it isn't the size of the dress that matters but how you feel in it! Also, just because you have an appointment to try on dresses does not mean you are going to be walking out of the store with your dream dress, no matter what size you are.
I have friends that took 10 trips out to finally find "the dress." Take the time to enjoy the moment, get caught up in the excitement of getting married, not worrying about what the little number on the tag says.
Enjoy your day!0 -
I went, and I'm not even close to my goal. Honestly, you're going to realize that you're stunning, and you might even cry when you find "the one"...you're going to realize that this will be the happiest day of your life, and as long as you pick appropriate dresses, you're going to have a hard time choosing which one you love the most. Make sure they supply the corset, and get measured so you know what your body shape is. Good luck, have some fun, and relax.0
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Do you feel comfortable telling your fitter to bring you dresses but not tell you the size?
If you are like me, you know that it is a number that means something to a clothing manufacturer, and every one is different. Seriously, I was wearing size 22 - 28 pants all at the same time! That number was nothing about me and how great I am. Just something so that the seamstress put the right pieces together! Wedding dresses are the same way!!!
Go and give it a try. Be sure to try on a variety of dresses! The ones I thought I wanted made me look terrible, my fitter took one look at my body and knew the styles that would be good for me, and I think she brought me that mermaid one just to show me how bad I could look in an ugly dress! hahahah!
Hang in there, you will be a beautiful bride!0 -
The first thing that you have to remember is that wedding dress samples come in incredibly small sizes. If the consultant ends up saying that she has to grab the dress in a bigger size, as much as it sucks to hear, just remind yourself that it isn't only you. Most women do not fit into the sample dresses.
You also have to know that just because a consultant says that, that in no way shape or form, is her calling you fat. That is her simply trying to find a dress that fits properly so that you can get a better visual as to how the dress would look once you have it properly fitted.
And besides, looking at your profile picture, I think you look great. Wedding dress shopping is about finding the dress that you want to marry your partner in. It's meant to make you feel good and just take a deep breath and relax. Take it all in and try your best to enjoy it and stay positive.0 -
I will say, the best thing I did was to go with just 1 friend first and try lots of things on. This way, we could narrow down shapes and styles. Then, we involved mom, sister, etc once I had an idea of what style I was searching for and went back a second and third time without the drama of hating things.
Also, bridal sizing is super wonky (I normally wear a size 4 and my wedding dress was a 10...and the dress I am wearing as MOH for my sister's wedding in July is an 8 with major alterations- and the dress I am wearing to her bachelorette this weekend is a small!) so do not discouraged!0 -
The first thing that you have to remember is that wedding dress samples come in incredibly small sizes. If the consultant ends up saying that she has to grab the dress in a bigger size, as much as it sucks to hear, just remind yourself that it isn't only you. Most women do not fit into the sample dresses.
This. I went with a size 12 friend to go find a wedding dress for her...the dress she purchased was a size 16. Bridal runs small!!!!!
ETA: Which I also think is incredibly dumb...you'd think that the one industry that would take advantage of vanity sizing would be the wedding industry.0 -
! I like yourself am having a small wedding. I like yourself was terrified.......... First, where are you getting your dress?
If you go to a place like Davids Bridal like I went you can look for dresses online first and check out their sizing chart. First, measure your chest, waist and hips (high hip too) and if needed your hollow to hem as well.
The first time is scariest especially if you don't know what size you are and all dresses fit differently.
It really helps to have a very supportive, awesome and patient friend to go with you IF you are going with someone. Don't go with someone who doesn't want to see you happy. It also helps if your consultant is nice but if not, then do not let them take over for you. It's ok to try on dresses you weren't planning on getting but don't give into things you can't afford or can't do.
Also, like others said, DON'T let wedding dress sizes affect your mood, they do run either too small, or too big, it depends on the dress and material.0 -
Thank you everyone
Our wedding will be October 4, 2014. We are recently engaged. I will be dress shopping with a small budget at David's Bridal. From what I understand, they stock many sizes in the store, so I should hopefully be able to try on something that fits or is at least close to my size.
I really like the idea from the poster above about asking them to not even tell me what the sizes are.0 -
Thank you everyone
Our wedding will be October 4, 2014. We are recently engaged. I will be dress shopping with a small budget at David's Bridal. From what I understand, they stock many sizes in the store, so I should hopefully be able to try on something that fits or is at least close to my size.
I really like the idea from the poster above about asking them to not even tell me what the sizes are.
What's your budget? They are having their 99 dollar wedding dress sale going on until june 16th. Not sure if you wanted to get something before then. It's first come first serve.
If your budget is 1000 dollars you'll be good. Anything less than 200 you might be struggling... unless you do the 99 dollar dress sale. But know new dresses will be coming in in late June.0 -
You'll be fine.
Do you like dressing up? I HATE fancy clothes. Absolutely HATE dressing up. I typically wear ripped jeans & a tank top from target if I'm "dressing up". I own 1 dress that I wear to all fancy/formal events. It was 10 dollars. Solid black. Usually, I am wearing yoga pants, running clothes, etc.. At work, I rotate between my 2 pairs of black pants & 2 pairs of gray pants. I have like 5 work shirts. lol this is not a joke. I wear sweatshirts at work saying "I'm cold" trying to dress it down.
Bottom line, I HATE dressing up.
I went alone to try on wedding dresses 6 months ago. I hated them all. So I bought the cheapest one, logically. I'd prefer to wear jeans, but I know I "have to wear a dress"
I bought the dress. I hate it. My wedding is in 6 weeks.
I ordered a short white dress online just to see what it looked like.
I kicked my fiancé out of the apartment, so I could try on the new short dress. I could not get the dress off because I didn't realize there was a zipper on the side :-(
I started crying & my fiancé had to come lift the dress over my head hajaha. He then told me I looked like I was "going to a ballet recital" and it's not formal enough for a wedding. So we got on a huge fight about it.
He says he "prefers" the one I bought back in Janurary but I "look good in both"...
Bottom line is, it's not worth the stress. I'm wearing the short one because I don't care.
Ps... At your bachelorette party, don't ride a machnical bull. I now have 7 stiches in my foot from
Stepping on glass.
I was supposed to run a marathon next week, but doc said no running for 3 weeks
Running is my life.
Don't let wedding ruin you!!!0 -
I had similar anxiety when I went wedding dress shopping back in March. My biggest advice for you is to embrace the moment/the big picture as this is a beautiful time in your life. Make sure to only invite people whom you feel comfortable around (I made the mistake of inviting my mother-in-law). Also, ask for a room that has a mirror. The David's Bridal I went to did not have a mirror so I was forced to come out not knowing how I looked and it was very upsetting. I also went into it knowing I didn't want to make a decision that day; you hear so much advice it's hard to hear your own voice and it's worth it to come back on your own.
By the way, the dresses usually just come in one size so they make it extra big and clip it to fit you so do not worry about them having to get a size up. Again just embrace this moment, this is about the man in your life who loves you inside and out.0 -
My budget is $500 or under for the dress, plus more for the cost of alterations.
I've been scoping out some of the sale dresses... I hope I end up being able to snag one of the $99 dresses.0 -
You'll be fine.
Do you like dressing up? I HATE fancy clothes. Absolutely HATE dressing up. I typically wear ripped jeans & a tank top from target if I'm "dressing up". I own 1 dress that I wear to all fancy/formal events. It was 10 dollars. Solid black. Usually, I am wearing yoga pants, running clothes, etc.. At work, I rotate between my 2 pairs of black pants & 2 pairs of gray pants. I have like 5 work shirts. lol this is not a joke. I wear sweatshirts at work saying "I'm cold" trying to dress it down.
Bottom line, I HATE dressing up.
I went alone to try on wedding dresses 6 months ago. I hated them all. So I bought the cheapest one, logically. I'd prefer to wear jeans, but I know I "have to wear a dress"
I bought the dress. I hate it. My wedding is in 6 weeks.
I ordered a short white dress online just to see what it looked like.
I kicked my fiancé out of the apartment, so I could try on the new short dress. I could not get the dress off because I didn't realize there was a zipper on the side :-(
I started crying & my fiancé had to come lift the dress over my head hajaha. He then told me I looked like I was "going to a ballet recital" and it's not formal enough for a wedding. So we got on a huge fight about it.
He says he "prefers" the one I bought back in Janurary but I "look good in both"...
Bottom line is, it's not worth the stress. I'm wearing the short one because I don't care.
Ps... At your bachelorette party, don't ride a machnical bull. I now have 7 stiches in my foot from
Stepping on glass.
I was supposed to run a marathon next week, but doc said no running for 3 weeks
Running is my life.
Don't let wedding ruin you!!!
I feel like we could be BFFs. I also hate dressing up. I own one really nice dress that I wear to weddings. I wear baggy jeans and hoodies to work most days.
We're not having a bridal party or groomsmen, and I am vehemently opposed to a bachelorette party (sooooo not my thing) lol. I just want to marry my awesome fiance and have a yummy dinner, drink wine, have cake, and then have a sweet classic car drive us from the restaurant where we're having the dinner and take us to a mountain lodge for the rest of the weekend by ourselves. Boom.0 -
I had similar anxiety when I went wedding dress shopping back in March. My biggest advice for you is to embrace the moment/the big picture as this is a beautiful time in your life. Make sure to only invite people whom you feel comfortable around (I made the mistake of inviting my mother-in-law). Also, ask for a room that has a mirror. The David's Bridal I went to did not have a mirror so I was forced to come out not knowing how I looked and it was very upsetting. I also went into it knowing I didn't want to make a decision that day; you hear so much advice it's hard to hear your own voice and it's worth it to come back on your own.
By the way, the dresses usually just come in one size so they make it extra big and clip it to fit you so do not worry about them having to get a size up. Again just embrace this moment, this is about the man in your life who loves you inside and out.
Thank you. Thanks for the info about the mirror in the room. If they don't have one... I'm not trying on dresses lol. No way. 0 -
Good luck!
I understand. Brides of ALL sizes get emotional. In my profile photos I have my wedding day picture. It's what worked for my body at the time. I am 5'11 and was 143lbs then. However I wanted a halter dress. I'm lacking in the top, 34B so nothing looked right. I cried. I also am tall and dress are designed for 5'9, so I saw my ankles in majority. I cried in everyone as they didn't fit. though different circumstances, I believe most if not all brides to be cry. I also carry my weight in my butt and middle area. So again I cried when they didn't fit.
Just go in knowing many of the dresses you may not like how they look on you. But OH when you find the one you do, it is so worth the tears. I hope you find something. It took several trips to several stores, think 6-10 stores.
Best wishes!0 -
You'll be fine.
Do you like dressing up? I HATE fancy clothes. Absolutely HATE dressing up. I typically wear ripped jeans & a tank top from target if I'm "dressing up". I own 1 dress that I wear to all fancy/formal events. It was 10 dollars. Solid black. Usually, I am wearing yoga pants, running clothes, etc.. At work, I rotate between my 2 pairs of black pants & 2 pairs of gray pants. I have like 5 work shirts. lol this is not a joke. I wear sweatshirts at work saying "I'm cold" trying to dress it down.
Bottom line, I HATE dressing up.
I went alone to try on wedding dresses 6 months ago. I hated them all. So I bought the cheapest one, logically. I'd prefer to wear jeans, but I know I "have to wear a dress"
I bought the dress. I hate it. My wedding is in 6 weeks.
I ordered a short white dress online just to see what it looked like.
I kicked my fiancé out of the apartment, so I could try on the new short dress. I could not get the dress off because I didn't realize there was a zipper on the side :-(
I started crying & my fiancé had to come lift the dress over my head hajaha. He then told me I looked like I was "going to a ballet recital" and it's not formal enough for a wedding. So we got on a huge fight about it.
He says he "prefers" the one I bought back in Janurary but I "look good in both"...
Bottom line is, it's not worth the stress. I'm wearing the short one because I don't care.
Ps... At your bachelorette party, don't ride a machnical bull. I now have 7 stiches in my foot from
Stepping on glass.
I was supposed to run a marathon next week, but doc said no running for 3 weeks
Running is my life.
Don't let wedding ruin you!!!
I feel like we could be BFFs. I also hate dressing up. I own one really nice dress that I wear to weddings. I wear baggy jeans and hoodies to work most days.
We're not having a bridal party or groomsmen, and I am vehemently opposed to a bachelorette party (sooooo not my thing) lol. I just want to marry my awesome fiance and have a yummy dinner, drink wine, have cake, and then have a sweet classic car drive us from the restaurant where we're having the dinner and take us to a mountain lodge for the rest of the weekend by ourselves. Boom.
OP your dinner and getaway sounds lovely and something to look forward to. I like the mountain lodge idea.0 -
I was in Macys a few weeks ago and they weirdly had a little bridal section. My future Mother in Law is super jazzed to take me dress shopping, and there was a lot of pressure on losing weight so we can hurry up and do that. So I said eff it, grabbed the only dress I could find that fit me (and one a size smaller) and went into the changing room.
I had a good laugh at myself at the one that fit me because it looked so stupid and terrible. I was by myself, there was no pressure, nothing. The one that was too small I couldn't zip all the way, but when I looked at it I kind of liked how it looked - I'd just need to get one that would fit or get it tailored.
Maybe sneak out of work during a lunch break and just pop in some department store, I'd say. Try on your first wedding dress with no pressure and no eyes watching you. It really took the stress off the whole thing for me. After all, I've already done it now so the rest is just doing the same thing over!0 -
The awesome thing about wedding dresses is that they most of them will look amazing because most are built to flatter your figure, no matter what it is. If a dress doesn't look good on you, it's the dress, and it's not you. Don' t be afraid to try on different styles. I was dead set against a mermaid style, but then I discovered that it actually looked kind of awesome on me.
Also, don't be freaked out by the sizes. When I was wedding dress shopping I was a size 8/10 and my wedding dress ended up being a 14.
I also gained 15 lbs before my wedding and it still fit and looked great on me.
Enjoy wedding dress shopping! It's fun!
ETA: clarification0 -
Ignore the size of the dress. Wedding dress sizes are completely different from all the sizes you get in typical stores (for reference my typical size 2 sister wore a size 8 wedding dress - the size means nothing!). Plus, after the dress is altered, it's not even the same size as it started out as anyway. Another reason the dress size doesn't matter.
The people at the store are more likely to bring you dresses that are too big rather than too small (they want to make you feel pretty!) and they will pin them at the back. Also, if you were to buy a dress, they will measure you. You can easily ask them to do this first so that they're more likely to bring out dresses that fit better. They don't need to tell you what size.
And try on lots of different styles of dresses! You don't know what will look best until you see it (strapless, sleeved, off the shoulder, trumpet, ball gown, shift, etc.)! Take photos so you can review afterwards more objectively. Perhaps even make a point of not buying tomorrow even if you feel like you find the right dress. You can always go back in a day or two.
Don't cancel the appointment though. Depending on when you're getting married, you don't want to put if off too long. It can take 3 - 6 months for them to order in your dress in the right size and another 1 - 2 for alterations.0 -
Good luck!
I understand. Brides of ALL sizes get emotional. In my profile photos I have my wedding day picture. It's what worked for my body at the time. I am 5'11 and was 143lbs then. However I wanted a halter dress. I'm lacking in the top, 34B so nothing looked right. I cried. I also am tall and dress are designed for 5'9, so I saw my ankles in majority. I cried in everyone as they didn't fit. though different circumstances, I believe most if not all brides to be cry. I also carry my weight in my butt and middle area. So again I cried when they didn't fit.
Just go in knowing many of the dresses you may not like how they look on you. But OH when you find the one you do, it is so worth the tears. I hope you find something. It took several trips to several stores, think 6-10 stores.
Best wishes!
I'm 6'2" so I can feel your pain... I'm really not that girly and don't care about dresses that much... so if David's Bridal can't get a floor length dress long enough to fit me by 10/4/14, I'll wear a shorter dress and not even care lol. I also don't have anything against ordering a dress online and taking it to a seamstress to have it tailored. I am really not that picky and want this wedding to be as relaxing as possible.0 -
OP your dinner and getaway sounds lovely and something to look forward to. I like the mountain lodge idea.
Thank you :flowerforyou: :drinker:0 -
Maybe sneak out of work during a lunch break and just pop in some department store, I'd say. Try on your first wedding dress with no pressure and no eyes watching you. It really took the stress off the whole thing for me. After all, I've already done it now so the rest is just doing the same thing over!
^^^^^This sounds like a wonderful idea. I think I'll try that tonight after work.0 -
If I were you, I'd cancel that appointment or tell the people you invited that you canceled it. Then go alone, with the expectation of everything running tiny compared to the sizes you are normally wearing in jeans and casual dresses.0
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I drove from NS to Maine to get a dress from David's Bridal. Together, my shoes, bra, crinoline and dress came to $400.
I had a consultant named Teal. I LOVED her. I tried on 5 dresses, and fell in love with the second.
Buy a dress that fits you NOW. Don't get one that you plan to fit into. Your shape may change and you may not like it. If you buy it for your body now, you'll be able to alter it.
Maybe head to a salon, get your hair done, do your makeup, exfoliate and moisturize, use a sunless tanner... avoid chewing gum and drink lots of water the day before. That way you'll look and feel great, and then enjoy your shopping experience!
Remember, your hubby is marrying you for you, not for how you look in a dress.
Happy Shopping!!0 -
I feel really similarly. We are getting married at the end of August and I am totally putting off dress shopping. I agree with the suggestion to not hear the dress size - I think it doesn't matter the number so much as how you feel in the dress. I also think just 1-2 good friends/family, because it sounds like you will probably feel vulnerable. Sometimes it's hard to see our progress if we aren't where we want to be, let your friends build you up and tell you how beautiful you look.
Try to have fun with it. Try on some crazy dresses you'd never wear just for giggles. Positive only zone in the dressing room!
I hope you are able to have a good time and find a great dress.
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I completely understand how you feel! I just got married and since I only had a 4 month engagement I bought my dress not very long ago. The first time I went into David's Bridal my consultant was almost too sensetive about sizing and my weight. She went as far as apologizing for each dress she pulled that was too small. It started to get under my skin a bit. I really wanted to tell her "Yes, I know I'm overweight. Yes, I know I'm not a size 2. Please just go get a dress in the correct damn size for me and let's MOVE ON!". I left the first day really discouraged.
The second time I went back though I had an amazing consultant that didn't say a word. She didn't make me try to feel better about the sizes of the dresses she was pulling, she didn't even tell me the sizes! It was a totally different experience and I was able to find a dress that I loved and felt beautiful in.
The consultant can really make a difference so if you aren't happy the first time around, please please don't give up! I'm glad I went back a second time because even though I too am a tomboy that is usually found in jeans and my husband's t-shirts and I didn't think I really would care what the dress looked like, in the end I did.
Yes, when I bought my dress I wished that I was at my goal weight already but on my wedding day, that didn't really matter. I put on my dress and I felt beautiful despite the size, despite the fact that I was overweight. And that's what mattered.0 -
Remember, your hubby is marrying you for you, not for how you look in a dress.
^^^^^^THIS THIS THIS!^^^^^^0 -
Thanks everyone.
And to clarify, I am not concerned about fitting into a smaller size and buying a smaller sized dress. I am just concerned about feeling good about myself at the size I am right now. 0 -
yes, as stated Bridal fits small, also the salesperson should know your size by looking at you - they should also have an idea of what will flatter your figure. Just be open to try different styles. I remember when I went I thought I wanted lace sleeves....not flattering at all on me. LOL I am sure you will find something you love...there are sooo many styles....and try to enjoy the experience!0
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