Nervous to shop for wedding dresses...

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  • willrun4bagels
    willrun4bagels Posts: 838 Member
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    Good luck!

    I understand. Brides of ALL sizes get emotional. In my profile photos I have my wedding day picture. It's what worked for my body at the time. I am 5'11 and was 143lbs then. However I wanted a halter dress. I'm lacking in the top, 34B so nothing looked right. I cried. I also am tall and dress are designed for 5'9, so I saw my ankles in majority. I cried in everyone as they didn't fit. though different circumstances, I believe most if not all brides to be cry. I also carry my weight in my butt and middle area. So again I cried when they didn't fit.

    Just go in knowing many of the dresses you may not like how they look on you. But OH when you find the one you do, it is so worth the tears. I hope you find something. It took several trips to several stores, think 6-10 stores.

    Best wishes!

    I'm 6'2" so I can feel your pain... I'm really not that girly and don't care about dresses that much... so if David's Bridal can't get a floor length dress long enough to fit me by 10/4/14, I'll wear a shorter dress and not even care lol. I also don't have anything against ordering a dress online and taking it to a seamstress to have it tailored. I am really not that picky and want this wedding to be as relaxing as possible.
  • willrun4bagels
    willrun4bagels Posts: 838 Member
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    OP your dinner and getaway sounds lovely and something to look forward to. I like the mountain lodge idea.

    Thank you :flowerforyou: :drinker:
  • willrun4bagels
    willrun4bagels Posts: 838 Member
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    Maybe sneak out of work during a lunch break and just pop in some department store, I'd say. Try on your first wedding dress with no pressure and no eyes watching you. It really took the stress off the whole thing for me. After all, I've already done it now so the rest is just doing the same thing over!

    ^^^^^This sounds like a wonderful idea. I think I'll try that tonight after work.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    If I were you, I'd cancel that appointment or tell the people you invited that you canceled it. Then go alone, with the expectation of everything running tiny compared to the sizes you are normally wearing in jeans and casual dresses.
  • kr1stadee
    kr1stadee Posts: 1,774 Member
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    I drove from NS to Maine to get a dress from David's Bridal. Together, my shoes, bra, crinoline and dress came to $400.

    I had a consultant named Teal. I LOVED her. I tried on 5 dresses, and fell in love with the second.

    Buy a dress that fits you NOW. Don't get one that you plan to fit into. Your shape may change and you may not like it. If you buy it for your body now, you'll be able to alter it.

    Maybe head to a salon, get your hair done, do your makeup, exfoliate and moisturize, use a sunless tanner... avoid chewing gum and drink lots of water the day before. That way you'll look and feel great, and then enjoy your shopping experience!

    Remember, your hubby is marrying you for you, not for how you look in a dress.

    Happy Shopping!!
  • cjholmes88
    cjholmes88 Posts: 1 Member
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    I feel really similarly. We are getting married at the end of August and I am totally putting off dress shopping. I agree with the suggestion to not hear the dress size - I think it doesn't matter the number so much as how you feel in the dress. I also think just 1-2 good friends/family, because it sounds like you will probably feel vulnerable. Sometimes it's hard to see our progress if we aren't where we want to be, let your friends build you up and tell you how beautiful you look.

    Try to have fun with it. Try on some crazy dresses you'd never wear just for giggles. Positive only zone in the dressing room!

    I hope you are able to have a good time and find a great dress. :)
  • geekishgirl
    geekishgirl Posts: 117 Member
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    I completely understand how you feel! I just got married and since I only had a 4 month engagement I bought my dress not very long ago. The first time I went into David's Bridal my consultant was almost too sensetive about sizing and my weight. She went as far as apologizing for each dress she pulled that was too small. It started to get under my skin a bit. I really wanted to tell her "Yes, I know I'm overweight. Yes, I know I'm not a size 2. Please just go get a dress in the correct damn size for me and let's MOVE ON!". I left the first day really discouraged.

    The second time I went back though I had an amazing consultant that didn't say a word. She didn't make me try to feel better about the sizes of the dresses she was pulling, she didn't even tell me the sizes! It was a totally different experience and I was able to find a dress that I loved and felt beautiful in.

    The consultant can really make a difference so if you aren't happy the first time around, please please don't give up! I'm glad I went back a second time because even though I too am a tomboy that is usually found in jeans and my husband's t-shirts and I didn't think I really would care what the dress looked like, in the end I did.

    Yes, when I bought my dress I wished that I was at my goal weight already but on my wedding day, that didn't really matter. I put on my dress and I felt beautiful despite the size, despite the fact that I was overweight. And that's what mattered.
  • geekishgirl
    geekishgirl Posts: 117 Member
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    Remember, your hubby is marrying you for you, not for how you look in a dress.

    ^^^^^^THIS THIS THIS!^^^^^^
  • willrun4bagels
    willrun4bagels Posts: 838 Member
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    Thanks everyone.

    And to clarify, I am not concerned about fitting into a smaller size and buying a smaller sized dress. I am just concerned about feeling good about myself at the size I am right now. :)
  • disneygallagirl
    disneygallagirl Posts: 515 Member
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    yes, as stated Bridal fits small, also the salesperson should know your size by looking at you - they should also have an idea of what will flatter your figure. Just be open to try different styles. I remember when I went I thought I wanted lace sleeves....not flattering at all on me. LOL I am sure you will find something you love...there are sooo many styles....and try to enjoy the experience!
  • NikkiSixGuns
    NikkiSixGuns Posts: 630 Member
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    The suggestion to have them not tell you the size is a good one, but if you're like me you're going to look for it at the first chance you get.

    I'd suggest that you focus on the dress and not yourself. If you find one you love but you're not satisfied with the way you look in it(yet), know that you've got time to work toward your goal and that your dress WILL have to be fitted when you get closer to the date. It doesn't have to be perfect at this point.

    Congrats on your engagement, and I hope your appointment goes well today!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    Thank you everyone <3<3

    Our wedding will be October 4, 2014. We are recently engaged. I will be dress shopping with a small budget at David's Bridal. From what I understand, they stock many sizes in the store, so I should hopefully be able to try on something that fits or is at least close to my size.

    I really like the idea from the poster above about asking them to not even tell me what the sizes are.

    mine is from david's bridal...actually I bought 2 :blushing: One to trash in Mexico, and one to wear to our reception here :) and still came under $800
  • 4themoney
    4themoney Posts: 797 Member
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    when i went all of the dresses were available to try on in ONE size.... sometimes it was TOO big and sometimes it was TOO small. when too big they clipped it when too small we simply didn't zip it. my measurements were taken and the dress was ordered per MY measurements. try NOT to worry about it fitting or not! and remember they size up ALL wedding related dresses. basically, once they are over a certain size, they can charge more for more fabric. so, an 8 is actually a 6!

    good luck!!!!!
  • WMLizard
    WMLizard Posts: 22 Member
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    I was engaged last June, bought my dress in November, was married in January. I first went to David's Bridal - I liked that I could look online, get some idea of prices, etc. It was not a great experience. Not because of my size, just because of the store. The consultant was split between two appointments, so sometimes there was a long gap just waiting around or trying to find my own way into/out of a dress. I had a large group with me, so they did help some. I wasn't looking for strapless, just didn't like the look on me from the past. She took that to mean I was modest and kept bringing out ideas for "covering" this or that or raising cleavage, etc. Totally did not get that I just didn't think it would be flattering.

    In the end, I found a dress that was okay, but since it was my first stop, I didn't have any intention of buying anything. Then came the hard sell, about the fact that it was already October and they couldn't promise to have the dress in my size if I didn't order that day, and on and on.

    I didn't buy it. I had promised to go shopping again with my mother-in-law closer to my home (instead of my mom's home), so I wasn't buying anything. I ended up stopping by a bridal shop that seemed out my price range, but they had a whole floor of dresses upstairs that were discounted. I brought my mother-in-law and some others to that store, had a great experience, found two dresses I loved, and in the end, I bought the strapless one! My budget was $500 (including alterations) and this dress cost less than that. They were able to do more specialty alterations than David's, and the consultant kept insisting that I try on ANY size, they could make it fit.

    So....all this to say...don't feel locked in to David's, or that another shop won't have the choices or budget that you need. And have fun! I'm not normally a girly-girl, but I totally did cry when I saw my mom tear up about my dress.
  • DanielleH1213
    DanielleH1213 Posts: 154 Member
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    When I went to try on wedding dresses I had a handful picked out that I wanted and the woman got them all. After I tried on all of them I told her based on my reactions to the ones I had picked out to go find some other ones. I ended up picking one of the ones she chose. And I would definitely not take the size to heart. I was wearing size 12 clothes at the time and they wanted me to order a size 16 women's (aka closer to plus sized). I ordered a size 16 regular and it need just a few alterations. If you go in with the right mindset then it will be a fun experience. If you go in dreading it and expecting to have a horrible time then you will. If you aren't ready then you aren't ready. Just don't wait too long. The last few months before a wedding fly by! I barely remember last summer let alone september and october leading up to my October 19th wedding last year. Get as much done as soon as possible.
  • fitnessgal1985
    fitnessgal1985 Posts: 110 Member
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    My budget is $500 or under for the dress, plus more for the cost of alterations.

    I've been scoping out some of the sale dresses... I hope I end up being able to snag one of the $99 dresses.
    With that price range you should be ok! Actually one of the great dresses I saw was 500 dollars. Ended up finding my current dress though for 99 dollars.

    By the way OP you look super thin, I don't know why you're scared. You shouldn't be. And you're on the taller side so you should be more than fine.
  • fitnessgal1985
    fitnessgal1985 Posts: 110 Member
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    Get as much done as soon as possible.

    Finally someone can agree with me on that.
    I'm glad I got my dress now as opposed to next year, a month before my wedding.
  • mkozmik
    mkozmik Posts: 79 Member
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    Great point! Also, keep in mind that they are not vanity sized. I usually wear a size 8, but my wedding dress was a size 12.

    My daughter found lots of dresses she liked in the bridal magazines, but when she tried them on, she knew right away she didn't like them at all. The dress she decided on mirrored her personal style (and many of the dresses in her closet) with a very elegant edge.

    Good luck! Don't get discouraged the first time you go try on dresses if you don't find the right style at first. Sometimes it takes a few trips to several places to find what you want.

    MK
    The first thing that you have to remember is that wedding dress samples come in incredibly small sizes. If the consultant ends up saying that she has to grab the dress in a bigger size, as much as it sucks to hear, just remind yourself that it isn't only you. Most women do not fit into the sample dresses.

    You also have to know that just because a consultant says that, that in no way shape or form, is her calling you fat. That is her simply trying to find a dress that fits properly so that you can get a better visual as to how the dress would look once you have it properly fitted.

    And besides, looking at your profile picture, I think you look great. Wedding dress shopping is about finding the dress that you want to marry your partner in. It's meant to make you feel good and just take a deep breath and relax. Take it all in and try your best to enjoy it and stay positive.
  • willrun4bagels
    willrun4bagels Posts: 838 Member
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    Thanks to all for offering advice.

    I went to the appointment last night. With me were my mom, two of my sisters, and one friend.

    I showed the consultant pictures of the dresses I liked on the website. She asked me my pants size (juggling between a 10 and a 12 right now depending on the brand of pants), and went to grab some samples. I was hoping to snag one of the $99 dresses that are part of their clearance sale, those were limited to what was in stock at that time, not anything special order.

    She brings some size 10 and 12 samples out. None of them fit, at all. Not even close. WTF BRIDAL SIZING???

    She goes and gets other sizes. I mention that I am 6'2" (not that it wasn't obvious that I'm really tall) and tell her I intend to wear flats with the dress, no heels, but if the dress is supposed to be floor length, I'd like it to be long enough for me. She can already tell after I tried on one sample that the standard length was not long enough, so has to find out what dresses can be ordered with extra length AND be delivered in time for alterations before my 10/4/14 wedding. I was left with a handful of options, only 3 of which were available in stock in the store in a size close enough for me to try on.

    I found a dress. It was the first one I tried on, and I wasn't happy with myself in it when I first saw it. I felt like my arms looked enormous, and my back looked horrible too. The lighting in those stores SUCKS... fluorescent bulbs make no one look good. I just felt like I thought I'd have looked a lot smaller than I did in that dress. Like when I stand in front of a mirror at home, I feel like I look okay, and not that big anymore (see profile pictures for "before"). But standing in that dress, I felt like I was still 281 lbs again.

    Given the fact that I need a dress with extra length, and couldn't be guaranteed anything long enough unless I ordered within the next week or 2, and had a small budget, I purchased that dress. My family and friend loved it. I hope I like it as much as they do when it comes in on 9/18... I also hope I feel a lot better about myself in it when I go to try it on. :/ My sister took pictures of me in it, and looking at those pictures today, I still feel like I look way bigger than I do in recent pictures of me in "normal" clothes... The sample I tried on was a 16W (I was very upset that I needed a plus sized wedding dress...), so that is the size she ordered for me.
  • geekishgirl
    geekishgirl Posts: 117 Member
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    I know it can be discouraging. My wedding dress was an 18W and my jeans are a 14. It really is true that wedding dresses run small. Try not to think so much about the size.

    I do hope that when your dress comes in and you try it on again you love it and feel beautiful in it. I felt that way when I bought my dress and the first time I tried it on after it came, but when I tried it on 2 weeks before my wedding, AFTER losing 20 pounds I just felt fat. I was really scared to put it on the day of my wedding because I didn't want to feel that way again. I can happily say when I put it on day of I didn't feel fat. I didn't feel skinny either, but I did feel beautiful.

    You've got some time. Keep working at your goals and try not to worry about the dress for now.

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