How to stop self sabotage?

You've lost a lot of weight (congrats) and so you obviously know HOW to do it. Maybe to get in the right mindset and stop going off the rails, you could try thinking of this as a change for life. Make a plan for the last few pounds and then a plan for moving into maintenance. You know by now that there is no finish line. Set some new goals around your fitness. Maybe you need something to work towards.

One of the hardest things for me to overcome in the last 2 years (and 100 pounds) was learning delayed gratification, portion control and moderation. I still have days when my brain tries to revert back to old habits. You have to learn what works for you. 5000 calorie binges are going to catch up with you.

Also, stay in the gym. Keep working on being the best you can be - the healthiest you can be. You've come too far to go back now. Keep moving forward.

I have been there too. I have to remind myself treats and fatty food is not a reward. Start a treat jar fund. Every time you want a treat put a dollar in and then go spend it on new clothes or trinkets.

There's no simple answer. I was in a self-sabotaging cycle a few months back. I had lost 20 pounds with MFP, but recently, I've gained it all back and now here I am again, all because I couldn't get myself under control. It was a dark time and a scary feeling - I've never felt so out of control like that. But it was like you said, every time I'd go to the gym I'd feel this NEED to eat fast food afterwards (even if I already ate dinner). Or I'd curl up in bed with a family sized bag of chips... and finish the whole thing.

I somehow didn't connect the two at the time, but looking back, at the time I was sabotaging myself like this I was depressed, scared, stressed out, and confused. I had just moved across the country for law school and was seriously debating moving back home because I missed everything so much. On the other hand I thought I would feel like a failure if I moved back. School was crushing me, I didn't know what the heck I wanted out of life, and just generally felt ****ty.

I can't say everything has magically gotten better but I CAN say I have started to get my life under control and I've finally started making changes. One day I just sat myself down and decided I HAD to deal with all these underlying feelings. I made a final decision to stay in my new location (making friends helped a lot with that) and started thinking about what I REALLY want to do with my life (which led to an amazing new job that I love). Ever since then, I've been back on MFP and able to get my eating and exercise under control. I KNOW I can lose the weight again, and that feels good.

Sorry for the long personal anecdote but what I'm trying to say is that there are almost always complicated underlying issues when you're self-sabotaging. It could be as big as depression, or as small as you just feel weird now that you've lost so much weight and maybe people treat you differently or something. Whatever it is, only YOU can figure it out and start getting things under control. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

I hope you get back on the right path soon. I know you can do it :drinker: