American Perceptions?

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Replies

  • smittybuilt19
    smittybuilt19 Posts: 955 Member
    I do agree that the American perception is skewed. At 5'11" 236 lbs. I thought I looked buff, as did the folks around me...HAHA. (not a weight had been lifted in well over two years)

    Naw, fat...I was fat.
  • smittybuilt19
    smittybuilt19 Posts: 955 Member
    Something I have noticed as time goes by that "Hoss" as we describe it around here (a big young man, think lumber jack/ farm boy) generally turns into lardy pants over the years. Not a good look, yet people still say "he's just healthy like a man should be"
  • husseycd
    husseycd Posts: 814 Member
    I definitely think the perception of "normal" has changed as we've gotten bigger as a country. Clothing sizes definitely reflect that. I'm 5'5", 130 lbs, and 19% body fat (measured by BodPod). I am fairly lean, but my BMI is 21.6 -- right smack in the middle of healthy. Yes you can see my ribs and collar bones. You can also see them when I'm 10 lbs heavier.

    But clothing sizes have gotten ridiculous. I am now a 2-4 and sometimes wear an extra small in tops. I have a 34 DD chest, I should not be an extra small. I believe we're also taller than we were at one time, so I do get that. I know feet are bigger, lol.
  • JustSomeEm
    JustSomeEm Posts: 20,286 MFP Moderator
    YES! Absolutely skewed, depending on the weight of the person doing the judging, and how deluded they are about THEIR fitness level. I've had overweight people tell me I wasn't overweight when I was OBESE - offering me cake... LOL! (like I wouldn't take the cake, or something. Sheesh)... and my healthy weight friends are very congratulatory about getting fit. Get to a fitness level that YOU like and feel comfortable at. Don't worry too much about others. :flowerforyou:
  • litsy3
    litsy3 Posts: 783 Member
    VIsible ribs are one of the things that get routinely airbrushed out of advertising images too, so people assume that your ribs 'shouldn't' show even if you are thin.
  • fannyfrost
    fannyfrost Posts: 756 Member
    People are definitely seeing things skewed, but I see it both ways.

    My daughter is skinny. She was always skinny, but here weight was fine, she ate plenty of food and consistently chose healthy food. So I didn't worry about it. she was called skinny. she had a friend's mom tell her she was too skinny, she had that same friend ask her how to lose weight, my daughter 11 her friend 13. Another mom in the group thought my daughter's weight was perfect. Friends at school thought she was skinny, but someone taught her how to read calories on food when she was in second grade. When she was 18yo and lost 2 pounds, still well within healthy range, she started to cry. My kid lost the freshmen 10 in college due to stress and stomach issues (she has since gone vegan, leveled out and gain a few pounds, much better).

    My friend recently lost a lot of weight. We saw her in the winter and she was looking a little gaunt. It wasn't about the body, but her face was looking sallow and too drawn. It isn't about bones showing, it should be about looking healthy. Meantime a lot of our friends think she lost too much.

    In NYC area, lots of people are fat and lots are thin. A friend I know is like a size 6 and she thinks she is fat. Her daughter looked great one year and she was telling her to diet, she was also like a size 6.

    Now on sizes changing. Marilyn Monroe wore a size 8, which was equivalent to a size 12 in the 1980s, many companies the sizes got larger, but now Marilyn Monroe size 8 is today's size 8 in most stores. The store or the brand can change the sizing dramatically. Gap was always cut larger. Also a 12 women's can be drastically different than a Junior size 13/14. My dad was in the dress business, trust size is just a number. Even at my skinniest, 5'2" 108 lbs, I couldn't fit into anything smaller than a size 8 because of my hips. My daughter is 5'4" and weighs 105lbs and still needs at least a size 4 because she has a butt.

    this story really talks to the joke of sizes. My dad sold Mother of the Bride dresses. This woman comes in and says I am a size 12, well she was a size 16 (my dad's dresses ran big), she would not accept that. So they took the size tag off a dress, told her it was a 12, she bought the dress, the dress was a size 16. Sizes are random number assigned by manufacturers. When women decide the numbers are bad, too large because they are big, manufacturers cut clothes larger.

    So ignore people and do what makes you feel good as long as he Dr doesn't think you are in any danger then no worries.
  • jmv7117
    jmv7117 Posts: 891 Member
    I asked my neurologist and my primary care dr if I was "too thin" (5'3'' 125 lbs) and they both said NO. They both explained to me that the rise of obesity in America is obscuring our perceptions of what a healthy fit weight looks like on people. People that are a healthy weight have collar bones.

    So do fellow Americans agree with this theory? That obesity (just the term being overweight in general) is so rampant in America that normal weighted people may look "too thin" to us now?

    And yes it hurt my feelings, and cycled me into a binge. After talking to other people, that wont happen again :)

    Thoughts?

    Butt hurters feel free to respond as well........

    I'm not American but live in the US about 4 months of the year. To date, no one has said anything to me about being too thin in the three countries we live. If anyone ever did, it would go in one ear and out the other. I do however agree that our perception may be off with respect to body image. Generally though if someone comments on your weight it is their own insecurities speaking. No one can make you feel bad if you don't let them. By binge eating, you gave them power over you and you are continuing to do so even by posting this. Don't give them power they don't deserve!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    I agree. A great deal of the skewed percetion is that overweight/obese is becoming the new normal. I read a statistic in another thread that the average American woman is 5'3" and 160+ pounds, which would be on the borderline of highly overweight and obese for a woman of that height. Assuming that's accurate, most are going to see someone at a perfectly healthy weight as being "too" thin because they're used to seeing others at a larger size.

    Part of this is also environment. If you're part of a healthy family and have a circle of friends who are mostly at a healthy weight, that's going to look more normal to you. I've got friends who are in that situation and would never comment that I'm too skinny because although I've lost a great deal of my excess weight, I'm still not quite there. They're thrilled for me of course but not concerned for my health.

    It can also have to do with "your" normal as others have pointed out above. After being heavy for so long, I've gotten some comments from friends and co-workers that I don't need to lose any more weight and am skinny or wasting away. In their minds, my normal shape is much bigger and my new shape seems extreme. I used to balk at comments like that but now I just smile and maybe say thanks for noticing and move on.

    You feel good about where you are. Two docs have said you're at a perfectly healthy weight. Other people can think whatever they want, it's just their opinion.
  • in_the_stars
    in_the_stars Posts: 1,395 Member
    Ehh... ignore everyone but the doctors. I have collar bones and thigh gap, etc... Always have. Pic in avvie and the pic below at 5 pounds heavier. I'm healthy. :)

    2355430851_c8bba62360_m.jpg
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    North American standards are skewed...

    I am currently at 153 and 5 ft 7...you can see my collarbones too...I am lean...but could probably lose another 10lbs...

    My husband is good with that...but no more than 15...and I will respect that...

    I've been told by my MIL who is a very large woman I don't need to lose anymore...then I tell her what I weigh...

    It really shouldn't be about weight..it should be about health...are your numbers good, ie blood pressure etc. Are you eating enough food that is nutritious? are you getting exercise? enough sleep?

    I am starting to hate friggen numbers...scale, weight, clothing sizes, bf%, bmi, tape measurments etc...are you healthy?

    /discussion.
  • mommyrunning
    mommyrunning Posts: 495 Member
    While I do think our body image/idea of a good body is skewed I think a lot of times people make those comments because they are trying to be helpful not hurtful. They are probably thinking you feel bad about yourself and want to say something to encourage you but they are choosing their words poorly. The same goes for someone who is clearly overweight. Sometimes friends may downplay how overweight they are in order to avoid hurting their feelings.
  • kaotik26
    kaotik26 Posts: 590 Member
    My friends look at me weird when I turn down their offer for Olive Garden or pizza (which is really hard btw:happy: ) I am 179 5'8" and need to get my percentage down some. I believe we all really do have a screwed up sense of what is healthy in this country.
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  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
    I don't know. I'm not sure it is an American thing. If you look back in the 20-50's, curviness was desired. And even further back being overweight meant you were better off since you were getting more food. I do believe we humans are coded to desire plumpness. I think it is only recently that being thin has become the ideal.

    Personally, I find bones that stick out to not be attractive (I also don't find overly-muscular women attractive - Just my opinion, not hating on anyone). But I fully understand that some people's anatomy dictates how and when bones are visible despite the BF% or how healthy the individual is. Heck I may find out my collar bones stick out once I get close to my GW.

    This reminds me of something Ellie said in The Last of Us:

    Ellie: That girl is so skinny... I thought you had plenty of food in your time.
    Joel: We did. Some just chose not to eat it.
    Ellie: Why the hell not?
    Joel: For looks.
    Ellie: Pffft, that's stupid.

    lol...

    :laugh:

    I agree, our perceptions are skewed more and more to super size. Or at least kinda chubby.

    It's really bizarre though how our notion of attractive seems to get skinnier and skinnier even as we all get accustomed to plumper and plumper. I can't find the link, but one commentator I found on Youtubeput up a picture of a guy and went on about his GQ good looks and lovely cheekbones, then said it was a picture taken of a starving sharecropper during the depression.
  • tempehforever
    tempehforever Posts: 183 Member
    I think perceptions of a "healthy weight" depend more on one's region and social surroundings than just the U.S. in general. I live in an urban area that often ranks as one of the "fittest" cities in the country, and hang out with a reasonably affluent (relatively speaking) crowd that is somewhat (but not insanely) health-conscious. I'm 5'6" and currently about 135 lbs (with visible collarbones!) and am considered pretty normal.

    However, when I travel to other parts of the country, or spend time in other cultural/social environments, I tend to appear thinner than average--and so I guess some people might consider me "too thin." Similarly, I feel like a giant monster whenever I walk into a Lululemon store, haha.
  • I used to struggle with ED because of stuff like this. Having some people say "you're putting on weight" or "you're so skinny" it fueled my issues. I loved when people said I was skinny and the one time I had someone say I was "chubby" (I weighed maybe 130 at 5'4) I starved myself for days and lost 10 or more pounds. People don't need to comment on someone's weight unless they are
    Truly concerned. Some people do need help, others don't.

    I have a younger sister who is very overweight. She's probably 5'5 and weighs close to 300 pounds. Our family has tried to help her but we learned that the more we said anything the worse it got. So now we just keep our mouths shut and when she does say shes dieting or working out we try to be very positive, but once she stops we don't say anything else. It's hard for some people, and I agree that a lot of times when people comment, it's their own insecurities coming out. I love my sister and I wish I could help her, but she has to do it for herself. I know it's hard for her because she's the only person in our family that is overweight.

    People need to be positive influences for people without bringing them down. If you are healthy (which you are) shrug
    Off rude comments. We spend too much time bringing others down and making people feel bad or insecure with themselves when we need to be uplifting. Sorry for my mini rant :) best of luck to you and your journey to better health!
  • WonderWhitney11
    WonderWhitney11 Posts: 78 Member
    Yeah... I don't know. I just know I was mortified when I read the label in my Reebok running leggings... a US size Large is equal to a 4XL in Japan. I guess all that tells me is that if I ever travel to Japan, I shouldn't expect to do any clothes shopping!

    I'm 5'1", 175 pounds. My collar bones show... and I'm definitely not too skinny. :)

    BTW... what the heck is a Bikini Bridge? Lol...
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
    Yeah... I don't know. I just know I was mortified when I read the label in my Reebok running leggings... a US size Large is equal to a 4XL in Japan. I guess all that tells me is that if I ever travel to Japan, I shouldn't expect to do any clothes shopping!

    I'm 5'1", 175 pounds. My collar bones show... and I'm definitely not too skinny. :)

    BTW... what the heck is a Bikini Bridge? Lol...


    Check out the sizes from this Japanese clothes maker: http://living.msn.com/style-beauty/fashion/fat-jumbo-clothing-label-unveils-new-sizes#scpshrjwfbs
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    My twin sister told me that If I lost any more weight I was going to look like a crackhead. To her if you weigh under 180 that is considered eating disorder territory.:ohwell:

    Sounds like my mother. GOSH!
    napoleon-dynamite-gif-whatever-i-feel-like-i-wanna-do-gosh.gif
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    So I have binged twice this month and it has made me reflect on things. First off I AM NOT blaming anyone or anything but myself and my free will for these binges, I am not looking for advice onhow to avoid a binge, I know how, my give a darn was just broken is all.

    I noticed a trend around my binging. People lately have been telling me I am "too thin" and they can "see my bones" ( I was wearing a tank top and you could see collar bones).

    I had a rutured brain anuerism in Nov 2013 so I see specialists and Drs quite frequently right now.

    I asked my neurologist and my primary care dr if I was "too thin" (5'3'' 125 lbs) and they both said NO. They both explained to me that the rise of obesity in America is obscuring our perceptions of what a healthy fit weight looks like on people. People that are a healthy weight have collar bones.

    So do fellow Americans agree with this theory? That obesity (just the term being overweight in general) is so rampant in America that normal weighted people may look "too thin" to us now?

    And yes it hurt my feelings, and cycled me into a binge. After talking to other people, that wont happen again :)

    Thoughts?

    Butt hurters feel free to respond as well........

    I agree with their assessment... I prefer the 125 lbs range as a person who is 5'2"... and I wasn't told I was too thin then... but peoples waist lines are getting larger and larger.
  • Chaskavitch
    Chaskavitch Posts: 172 Member
    Yeah... I don't know. I just know I was mortified when I read the label in my Reebok running leggings... a US size Large is equal to a 4XL in Japan. I guess all that tells me is that if I ever travel to Japan, I shouldn't expect to do any clothes shopping!

    I'm 5'1", 175 pounds. My collar bones show... and I'm definitely not too skinny. :)

    BTW... what the heck is a Bikini Bridge? Lol...

    A bikini bridge is when your hipbones stick out far enough that they create a gap between your lower stomach skin and the fabric of your bikini. A bridge of bikini from hipbone to hipbone. Apparently it's a thing now...
  • Yes, "American thin" means "medium" in the rest of the world! I'm middle eastern and I used to weigh 120 all my life and I'm 5'9. After 1.5 years of living in the states I gained weight and reached a high weight of 145 (this is what university dining halls do to you), I went back home weighing 145 and I was told in my face by almost all my friends and some relatives that I look "heavier" while in the states everyone thought I was thin!
    I'm now at 126 and trying to lose the last 6 pounds before my next visit home, since I just dread going back home weighing that much again!
  • mbauer013
    mbauer013 Posts: 34 Member
    I think a big part of it as well is people in the US in general having a hard time with compliments due to the culture here. We can't take compliments or give them gracefully. You can't say "girl you look thin and sexy" because that might offend, so you say "girl, don't get too thin now," or "you're already so skinny." The other posters have it right as well, America is a land of schaudenfraude, we like to see others fail, so some comments are meant to derail. Ignore it all and find where you are comfortable.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    Wow...

    Maybe I'm just not surrounded by the same type of people. I've never told anyone they were "too skinny". I was raised with something called "mind your own damn business" and it's kept me alive for the last 37 years. :wink:
  • congruns
    congruns Posts: 127 Member
    It's the law of averages. Fit people bring down the curve. In my circle of friends, I used to be the fat one but with my weight loss, the guy that used to be 2nd fattest has started working out and count his calories.

    Fitness appearance also varies by region. West coast tends to be fitter than Midwest.

    I love to see my collar bones in the mirror and to feel my ribs when I lie in bed in the morning.

    In regards to "too thin" comments, just tell them you just are just hedging your bet of living longer. Giving yourself the best chance of avoiding health related illness. Yes, there is a % of thin people who die, but there is a higher % of overweight plus people who die from health related issues. Then ask them where was this concern when I was overweight?
  • endermako
    endermako Posts: 785 Member
    So I have binged twice this month and it has made me reflect on things. First off I AM NOT blaming anyone or anything but myself and my free will for these binges, I am not looking for advice onhow to avoid a binge, I know how, my give a darn was just broken is all.

    I noticed a trend around my binging. People lately have been telling me I am "too thin" and they can "see my bones" ( I was wearing a tank top and you could see collar bones).

    I had a rutured brain anuerism in Nov 2013 so I see specialists and Drs quite frequently right now.

    I asked my neurologist and my primary care dr if I was "too thin" (5'3'' 125 lbs) and they both said NO. They both explained to me that the rise of obesity in America is obscuring our perceptions of what a healthy fit weight looks like on people. People that are a healthy weight have collar bones.

    So do fellow Americans agree with this theory? That obesity (just the term being overweight in general) is so rampant in America that normal weighted people may look "too thin" to us now?

    And yes it hurt my feelings, and cycled me into a binge. After talking to other people, that wont happen again :)

    Thoughts?

    Butt hurters feel free to respond as well........

    Yes our perception is skewed because so many of us are overweight. I use to be that height and weight in high school and they told me my weight was perfect. You are not too skinny
  • melimomTARDIS
    melimomTARDIS Posts: 1,941 Member
    I feel super skinny now, I was 175ish, I am 130ish now. I am only 5'5. I get stopped in the street, people asking me "what is your secret?". I am thinner (by 5lbs) than I was on my wedding day, as a hottie 18 year old bride.

    Maybe I have american perceptions ;) But I feel good!
  • viciouslitany
    viciouslitany Posts: 187 Member
    I have also found that the higher weight you start at, the more likely people are to say that. overall, I've lost about seventy pounds - and people are constantly telling me that I've lost a lot of weight, and sometimes even that I'm too thin.

    ...I've lost 70 pounds, leaving me around 220. I aim to lose at least 40 more, to as much as 55 more (though I am not counting on going that low, given weight training).

    it happens all the time. it's really insane. when I point out the healthy weight range and body fay percentages for me personally, they tend to scoff. I don't know if it's a personal thing for them because that would make me FAR SMALLER than most of my friends, or maybe for them trying to make me feel better about having such a far away goal? who knows.
  • tempehforever
    tempehforever Posts: 183 Member
    I think a big part of it as well is people in the US in general having a hard time with compliments due to the culture here. We can't take compliments or give them gracefully. You can't say "girl you look thin and sexy" because that might offend, so you say "girl, don't get too thin now," or "you're already so skinny."

    I think it's a good practice, no matter what culture you're in, to avoid making comments on other people's bodies, either positive or negative. If someone says I look thin, or compliments my eyes, I'm like, well, OK, that's mostly genetics and something I don't have much control over. A compliment about something I DO control--like my outfit, my haircut, a physical feat I accomplished, or something funny/intelligent/interesting I said--means a lot more.