American Perceptions?

13

Replies

  • mommyrunning
    mommyrunning Posts: 495 Member
    While I do think our body image/idea of a good body is skewed I think a lot of times people make those comments because they are trying to be helpful not hurtful. They are probably thinking you feel bad about yourself and want to say something to encourage you but they are choosing their words poorly. The same goes for someone who is clearly overweight. Sometimes friends may downplay how overweight they are in order to avoid hurting their feelings.
  • kaotik26
    kaotik26 Posts: 590 Member
    My friends look at me weird when I turn down their offer for Olive Garden or pizza (which is really hard btw:happy: ) I am 179 5'8" and need to get my percentage down some. I believe we all really do have a screwed up sense of what is healthy in this country.
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,910 Member
    I don't know. I'm not sure it is an American thing. If you look back in the 20-50's, curviness was desired. And even further back being overweight meant you were better off since you were getting more food. I do believe we humans are coded to desire plumpness. I think it is only recently that being thin has become the ideal.

    Personally, I find bones that stick out to not be attractive (I also don't find overly-muscular women attractive - Just my opinion, not hating on anyone). But I fully understand that some people's anatomy dictates how and when bones are visible despite the BF% or how healthy the individual is. Heck I may find out my collar bones stick out once I get close to my GW.

    This reminds me of something Ellie said in The Last of Us:

    Ellie: That girl is so skinny... I thought you had plenty of food in your time.
    Joel: We did. Some just chose not to eat it.
    Ellie: Why the hell not?
    Joel: For looks.
    Ellie: Pffft, that's stupid.

    lol...

    :laugh:

    I agree, our perceptions are skewed more and more to super size. Or at least kinda chubby.

    It's really bizarre though how our notion of attractive seems to get skinnier and skinnier even as we all get accustomed to plumper and plumper. I can't find the link, but one commentator I found on Youtubeput up a picture of a guy and went on about his GQ good looks and lovely cheekbones, then said it was a picture taken of a starving sharecropper during the depression.
  • tempehforever
    tempehforever Posts: 183 Member
    I think perceptions of a "healthy weight" depend more on one's region and social surroundings than just the U.S. in general. I live in an urban area that often ranks as one of the "fittest" cities in the country, and hang out with a reasonably affluent (relatively speaking) crowd that is somewhat (but not insanely) health-conscious. I'm 5'6" and currently about 135 lbs (with visible collarbones!) and am considered pretty normal.

    However, when I travel to other parts of the country, or spend time in other cultural/social environments, I tend to appear thinner than average--and so I guess some people might consider me "too thin." Similarly, I feel like a giant monster whenever I walk into a Lululemon store, haha.
  • I used to struggle with ED because of stuff like this. Having some people say "you're putting on weight" or "you're so skinny" it fueled my issues. I loved when people said I was skinny and the one time I had someone say I was "chubby" (I weighed maybe 130 at 5'4) I starved myself for days and lost 10 or more pounds. People don't need to comment on someone's weight unless they are
    Truly concerned. Some people do need help, others don't.

    I have a younger sister who is very overweight. She's probably 5'5 and weighs close to 300 pounds. Our family has tried to help her but we learned that the more we said anything the worse it got. So now we just keep our mouths shut and when she does say shes dieting or working out we try to be very positive, but once she stops we don't say anything else. It's hard for some people, and I agree that a lot of times when people comment, it's their own insecurities coming out. I love my sister and I wish I could help her, but she has to do it for herself. I know it's hard for her because she's the only person in our family that is overweight.

    People need to be positive influences for people without bringing them down. If you are healthy (which you are) shrug
    Off rude comments. We spend too much time bringing others down and making people feel bad or insecure with themselves when we need to be uplifting. Sorry for my mini rant :) best of luck to you and your journey to better health!
  • WonderWhitney11
    WonderWhitney11 Posts: 80 Member
    Yeah... I don't know. I just know I was mortified when I read the label in my Reebok running leggings... a US size Large is equal to a 4XL in Japan. I guess all that tells me is that if I ever travel to Japan, I shouldn't expect to do any clothes shopping!

    I'm 5'1", 175 pounds. My collar bones show... and I'm definitely not too skinny. :)

    BTW... what the heck is a Bikini Bridge? Lol...
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
    Yeah... I don't know. I just know I was mortified when I read the label in my Reebok running leggings... a US size Large is equal to a 4XL in Japan. I guess all that tells me is that if I ever travel to Japan, I shouldn't expect to do any clothes shopping!

    I'm 5'1", 175 pounds. My collar bones show... and I'm definitely not too skinny. :)

    BTW... what the heck is a Bikini Bridge? Lol...


    Check out the sizes from this Japanese clothes maker: http://living.msn.com/style-beauty/fashion/fat-jumbo-clothing-label-unveils-new-sizes#scpshrjwfbs
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    My twin sister told me that If I lost any more weight I was going to look like a crackhead. To her if you weigh under 180 that is considered eating disorder territory.:ohwell:

    Sounds like my mother. GOSH!
    napoleon-dynamite-gif-whatever-i-feel-like-i-wanna-do-gosh.gif
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    So I have binged twice this month and it has made me reflect on things. First off I AM NOT blaming anyone or anything but myself and my free will for these binges, I am not looking for advice onhow to avoid a binge, I know how, my give a darn was just broken is all.

    I noticed a trend around my binging. People lately have been telling me I am "too thin" and they can "see my bones" ( I was wearing a tank top and you could see collar bones).

    I had a rutured brain anuerism in Nov 2013 so I see specialists and Drs quite frequently right now.

    I asked my neurologist and my primary care dr if I was "too thin" (5'3'' 125 lbs) and they both said NO. They both explained to me that the rise of obesity in America is obscuring our perceptions of what a healthy fit weight looks like on people. People that are a healthy weight have collar bones.

    So do fellow Americans agree with this theory? That obesity (just the term being overweight in general) is so rampant in America that normal weighted people may look "too thin" to us now?

    And yes it hurt my feelings, and cycled me into a binge. After talking to other people, that wont happen again :)

    Thoughts?

    Butt hurters feel free to respond as well........

    I agree with their assessment... I prefer the 125 lbs range as a person who is 5'2"... and I wasn't told I was too thin then... but peoples waist lines are getting larger and larger.
  • Chaskavitch
    Chaskavitch Posts: 172 Member
    Yeah... I don't know. I just know I was mortified when I read the label in my Reebok running leggings... a US size Large is equal to a 4XL in Japan. I guess all that tells me is that if I ever travel to Japan, I shouldn't expect to do any clothes shopping!

    I'm 5'1", 175 pounds. My collar bones show... and I'm definitely not too skinny. :)

    BTW... what the heck is a Bikini Bridge? Lol...

    A bikini bridge is when your hipbones stick out far enough that they create a gap between your lower stomach skin and the fabric of your bikini. A bridge of bikini from hipbone to hipbone. Apparently it's a thing now...
  • Yes, "American thin" means "medium" in the rest of the world! I'm middle eastern and I used to weigh 120 all my life and I'm 5'9. After 1.5 years of living in the states I gained weight and reached a high weight of 145 (this is what university dining halls do to you), I went back home weighing 145 and I was told in my face by almost all my friends and some relatives that I look "heavier" while in the states everyone thought I was thin!
    I'm now at 126 and trying to lose the last 6 pounds before my next visit home, since I just dread going back home weighing that much again!
  • mbauer013
    mbauer013 Posts: 34 Member
    I think a big part of it as well is people in the US in general having a hard time with compliments due to the culture here. We can't take compliments or give them gracefully. You can't say "girl you look thin and sexy" because that might offend, so you say "girl, don't get too thin now," or "you're already so skinny." The other posters have it right as well, America is a land of schaudenfraude, we like to see others fail, so some comments are meant to derail. Ignore it all and find where you are comfortable.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    Wow...

    Maybe I'm just not surrounded by the same type of people. I've never told anyone they were "too skinny". I was raised with something called "mind your own damn business" and it's kept me alive for the last 37 years. :wink:
  • congruns
    congruns Posts: 127 Member
    It's the law of averages. Fit people bring down the curve. In my circle of friends, I used to be the fat one but with my weight loss, the guy that used to be 2nd fattest has started working out and count his calories.

    Fitness appearance also varies by region. West coast tends to be fitter than Midwest.

    I love to see my collar bones in the mirror and to feel my ribs when I lie in bed in the morning.

    In regards to "too thin" comments, just tell them you just are just hedging your bet of living longer. Giving yourself the best chance of avoiding health related illness. Yes, there is a % of thin people who die, but there is a higher % of overweight plus people who die from health related issues. Then ask them where was this concern when I was overweight?
  • endermako
    endermako Posts: 787 Member
    So I have binged twice this month and it has made me reflect on things. First off I AM NOT blaming anyone or anything but myself and my free will for these binges, I am not looking for advice onhow to avoid a binge, I know how, my give a darn was just broken is all.

    I noticed a trend around my binging. People lately have been telling me I am "too thin" and they can "see my bones" ( I was wearing a tank top and you could see collar bones).

    I had a rutured brain anuerism in Nov 2013 so I see specialists and Drs quite frequently right now.

    I asked my neurologist and my primary care dr if I was "too thin" (5'3'' 125 lbs) and they both said NO. They both explained to me that the rise of obesity in America is obscuring our perceptions of what a healthy fit weight looks like on people. People that are a healthy weight have collar bones.

    So do fellow Americans agree with this theory? That obesity (just the term being overweight in general) is so rampant in America that normal weighted people may look "too thin" to us now?

    And yes it hurt my feelings, and cycled me into a binge. After talking to other people, that wont happen again :)

    Thoughts?

    Butt hurters feel free to respond as well........

    Yes our perception is skewed because so many of us are overweight. I use to be that height and weight in high school and they told me my weight was perfect. You are not too skinny
  • melimomTARDIS
    melimomTARDIS Posts: 1,953 Member
    I feel super skinny now, I was 175ish, I am 130ish now. I am only 5'5. I get stopped in the street, people asking me "what is your secret?". I am thinner (by 5lbs) than I was on my wedding day, as a hottie 18 year old bride.

    Maybe I have american perceptions ;) But I feel good!
  • viciouslitany
    viciouslitany Posts: 187 Member
    I have also found that the higher weight you start at, the more likely people are to say that. overall, I've lost about seventy pounds - and people are constantly telling me that I've lost a lot of weight, and sometimes even that I'm too thin.

    ...I've lost 70 pounds, leaving me around 220. I aim to lose at least 40 more, to as much as 55 more (though I am not counting on going that low, given weight training).

    it happens all the time. it's really insane. when I point out the healthy weight range and body fay percentages for me personally, they tend to scoff. I don't know if it's a personal thing for them because that would make me FAR SMALLER than most of my friends, or maybe for them trying to make me feel better about having such a far away goal? who knows.
  • tempehforever
    tempehforever Posts: 183 Member
    I think a big part of it as well is people in the US in general having a hard time with compliments due to the culture here. We can't take compliments or give them gracefully. You can't say "girl you look thin and sexy" because that might offend, so you say "girl, don't get too thin now," or "you're already so skinny."

    I think it's a good practice, no matter what culture you're in, to avoid making comments on other people's bodies, either positive or negative. If someone says I look thin, or compliments my eyes, I'm like, well, OK, that's mostly genetics and something I don't have much control over. A compliment about something I DO control--like my outfit, my haircut, a physical feat I accomplished, or something funny/intelligent/interesting I said--means a lot more.