My body and me.

C0heart
C0heart Posts: 1 Member
edited February 24 in Motivation and Support
Hi guys.

I have been at this weight loss thing my entire life now. I have never had much of a support group from my friends, as everyone usually gives up about a week into a diet and exercise plan. I have been large all my life, and it feels like I have tried everything under the sun and have seen little in the way of results. I joined here to try and get a support base to help me along my road. I haven't posted before, I tend to just watch and get inspired that way.

I have had some thoughts recently, and I just want to write them out. I want to see them in writing somewhere and really think about it. Like I said, I have never posted before, so if this is wrong or annoying or whatever, I'm sorry.

Again, I have been big for my entire life. All the women in my family are. I hate to say I have "fat genes" but that is probably true. Even as a skeleton I would not be a size two in all my life. I have spent a lot of time thinking about my weight loss goals and the way I have been punishing myself and feeling discourage, and this is what I have come up with:

I don't think it matters if I weighed 10 or 1000 pounds. That's not what the issue here is. The issue is loving myself and be accepting of my own body. I do the best I can. I eat well, but I am not perfect. Nobody is really. I spend a lot of time at the gym, I am active in my job and community, and I feel good. But I feel undesirable. I feel unworthy because I am large. Like I don't deserve basic rights and affection. Like I need to apologize to everyone just for existing. Maybe.. that isn't true.

While losing weight will help me see myself in a better light, do good things for my heart and my body health, and make many things easier.. I really need to learn how to love myself as I am. I am 20 years old, and I am sick and tired of being afraid of the world and even my own reflection.

So there it is in the permanence of the internet. Any kind of support or guidance you could offer would be highly appreciated. Maybe you guys have gone through the same thing? Either way, thank you for hearing me out, even if you thought it was stupid.

Coheart

Replies

  • cantfail
    cantfail Posts: 169 Member
    But I feel undesirable. I feel unworthy because I am large. Like I don't deserve basic rights and affection. Like I need to apologize to everyone just for existing. Maybe.. that isn't true.


    I'm here to tell you THAT ISN'T TRUE! You are confusing "self image" with "body image". Your "self image" should have to do with things like:
    Are you kind?
    Are you smart?
    Are you trustworthy?
    Are you funny?
    Do you treat other people well?... Stuff like that. Those are the types of things that define who you are, not what size jeans you wear.

    You don't have to be stuck with your genetics. Ok, so maybe (it's a BIG maybe) you have a predisposition to be heavy. That doesn't mean that you can't lose weight if you want too. It may seem harsh, but that is just the excuse you have allowed yourself to accept. You have already made some progress. That is fantastic! You will see it here on MFP time and time again... If you are eating in a deficit, you will lose weight. You CAN do this. Log EVERYTHING! Have a bad day? So what? We all do. Start again.

    "You Can't Fail If You Don't Stop"
  • Rose6300
    Rose6300 Posts: 232 Member
    Welcome, and if you really want it, you can do it. It's all about reading, learning, and doing. And being patient. Read the stickies, track your progress, be honest with your calorie logging (weigh your food), and in moments of weakness, refocus on your long-term goals. Best of luck!
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