Eff Your Beauty Standards....?
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Loving yourself does not mean knowing something is wrong and not changing it. Loving yourself is accepting who you are, flaws and all, but knowing that you can change some of your flaws and work hard to be the best for yourself. We are all here to work on bettering ourselves in some way.
Also, unless someone is wearing nothing but a bikini/speedo in a store or restaurant not by the sea, than, yeah I think we might have some reason to mention it, no matter their size. You know, the whole no shoes, no shirt, no service deal.0 -
I did not understand the movement. It felt like it was embracing obesity, but it has been clarified (above) that that is not all what is behind it. I'm not up on a high horse really. I've clearly admitted that I am not myself a normal weight. When I first saw it, it seemed to embrace being extremely overweight and just accepting that. I see more that it is more about loving yourself.
I personally struggle with that. That is good that they can accept themselves. I wish I could say the same.0 -
Who's this directed at? I don't see anyone who's posted on this thread so far on a high horse.
Wild guess, I am going to say the OP for trying to tell other people how to act, while openly admitting she has serious body image issues.
Well I guess I don't see it that way. And I'm morbidly obese. Actually not anymore, I'm just in the obese category now thanks to this site.
I see OP stating her opinion openly and bluntly, not telling other people how to act.
Personally I don't think stating an opinion on a message board designed just for that purpose deserves an insulting GIF. Regardless of how controversial that opinion may be.
Thank you. That was my intent. And it has also been noted that I fully did not understand the movement. That's what a message board is for. Discussion about topics. I now have a better understanding about it.0 -
So. I'm bracing to be attacked on this one... but there is a movement going on and I just need to discuss this. And it is Saturday, so maybe this will get ignored.
There is a difference between embracing your curves and obesity. I feel like we are facing an obesity epidemic not only in the US, but around the world. And there's a grass roots movement going on about embracing yourself at any size. Loving yourself is great, but if you are obese you should be focusing on your health as well. Not being like, I'm going to eat whatever I want, who cares - I don't have to be the standard. I'm big and beautiful.
I speak these words as someone who has struggled with weight their whole life. As you can see, I'm not skinny or the beauty ideal - but I'm working on myself and I feel like embracing your obesity is just a lazy cop out. It's called self control; and it is hard work. It almost makes me a little angry that people think obesity should be accepted in society. You are killing yourself sustaining that life.
I hope this is not seen as body shaming because that wasn't my intent. Obesity is a health crisis and should not be encouraged.
Tl;dr - I won't wear a bikini at my size and I don't think other obese women should either. I'm working on myself like so many others here and I feel embracing obesity and making it acceptable is only contributing to a larger problem.
I'm all for embracing yourself and having confidence in yourself whatever you look like - but shoving obesity down our throats as something we should accept? It just isn't healthy...
Embracing yourself at any size and embracing obesity are two totally different things. For some reason, people think that pushing for acceptance and loving yourself no matter what means being pro-fat. It's not. It's about not being defined by your dress size. And it certainly isn't "shoving obesity down your throat" (lol at that, seriously).
As far as your bikini comment, what other people wear is none of your business. I guarantee you that no one cares what you think they should wear.
Instead of completely twisting the whole concept, why not celebrate women being able to STOP defining their worth based on size - which is so incredibly emotionally and mentally damaging, and starts at like age 8 now, and encourage women to love themselves without saying "but, you're fat! That's unhealthy!". So is smoking, driving too fast, and drinking.
Stuff like this is the reason I think it's NECESSARY for women to say "*kitten* off" to conventional beauty standards. It was only until I started loving myself just as I was, that I was able to get the courage necessary to start losing weight.
And if a women wants to remain obese? So what. It's her life, her health, her choice. Someone loving themselves while being fat doesn't promote s*it except self love.0 -
Who's this directed at? I don't see anyone who's posted on this thread so far on a high horse.
Wild guess, I am going to say the OP for trying to tell other people how to act, while openly admitting she has serious body image issues.
Well I guess I don't see it that way. And I'm morbidly obese. Actually not anymore, I'm just in the obese category now thanks to this site.
I see OP stating her opinion openly and bluntly, not telling other people how to act.
Personally I don't think stating an opinion on a message board designed just for that purpose deserves an insulting GIF. Regardless of how controversial that opinion may be.
No, the OP said she wouldn't wear a bikini and she doesn't think obese women should either.
Why does anyone care what anyone else is wearing? I don't wear a bikini because I don't think I look good in them. I've seen women larger than me rock a bikini. If they are comfortable in one, I say more power to them!0 -
I am in far to good of a mood right now to allow this thread to massively piss me off
so I will leave this here until I come back and let you know how wrong you are
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Words every one needs to live by:
I choose
..to live by choice, not by change;
to make changes, not excuses;
to be motivated, not manipulated;
to be useful, not used;
to excel, not compete;
choose self esteem, not self pity.
Choose to listen to your inner voice, not the random opinions of others.
.
Sounds like good advice! Btw, GinandJuice75, great job on weight lost! You look fabulous!! :flowerforyou:0 -
I agree with you. You can have self-regard but still understand that your weight is, or will in the future cause you health problems. It also will usually affect your social desirability.0
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Actually, a lot of the women (and men) that are part of the "eff your beauty standards" movement ARE actively losing weight and are living healthier more active lifestyles. They just make it a point to love their bodies now and loving themselves as they change. They also make it known that they are losing the weight (the ones that are choosing to do so), dressing a certain way, and living the way they live, is for no one but themselves. The movement is actually very positive, and not everyone involved or following the movement are obese or overweight.
It's all about realizing that your body is not an apology, even if it doesn't match what everyone thinks it should look like.0 -
Who's this directed at? I don't see anyone who's posted on this thread so far on a high horse.
Wild guess, I am going to say the OP for trying to tell other people how to act, while openly admitting she has serious body image issues.
Well I guess I don't see it that way. And I'm morbidly obese. Actually not anymore, I'm just in the obese category now thanks to this site.
I see OP stating her opinion openly and bluntly, not telling other people how to act.
Personally I don't think stating an opinion on a message board designed just for that purpose deserves an insulting GIF. Regardless of how controversial that opinion may be.
Insulting? How so?
We are all on a high horse at some point or another.
ETA:
The OP is full of judging people she knows nothing about.0 -
Who said that was the motive for shaming people?Just saying shaming people wont make them want to lose weight at all.0 -
Actually, a lot of the women (and men) that are part of the "eff your beauty standards" movement ARE actively losing weight and are living healthier more active lifestyles. They just make it a point to love their bodies now and loving themselves as they change. They also make it known that they are losing the weight (the ones that are choosing to do so), dressing a certain way, and living the way they live, is for no one but themselves. The movement is actually very positive, and not everyone involved or following the movement are obese or overweight.
It's all about realizing that your body is not an apology, even if it doesn't match what everyone thinks it should look like.
& this is spot on.0 -
The movement isn't about embracing obesity. Its primary focus is to foster a healthy self and body image. I think that being healthy and taking care of one's body, and mind are important. I do, however, think that western society perpetuates an ideal of beauty that is unattainable for a large number of the population. I love that Tess is out there encouraging curvy gals and women to be comfortable in their own skin. Beauty comes in different shapes and sizes. I know curvy gals and slim gals that are beautiful inside and out.0
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The movement isn't about embracing obesity. Its primary focus is to foster a healthy self and body image. I think that being healthy and taking care of one's body, and mind are important. I do, however, think that western society perpetuates an ideal of beauty that is unattainable for a large number of the population. I love that Tess is out there encouraging curvy gals and women to be comfortable in their own skin. Beauty comes in different shapes and sizes. I know curvy gals and slim gals that are beautiful inside and out.
Why do you feel it is unattainable for most of the population?
Some things, like large breasts, are unattainable outside of cosmetic surgery. And not everyone can have a great *kitten*, pecs, etc from simple genetics. But if you're suggesting that not everyone can attain and maintain a healthy body weight, then I completely disagree with you.0 -
Well my by is overweight and has NO health problems. Yes it will probably catch up to him but so far so good.. People who are skinny can be unhealthy as well.
You said obese, there is a difference between being obese and being overweight. It is ALWAYS unhealthy to be obese, it is so hard on your body, your heart, your arteries, your blood vessels, your lungs. Everything in your body is working overtime and that is not good...
Yes, this. Obesity harms almost every part of the human body. Fat is not an inert tissue. As far as the OP, I think bikinis are a state of mind more than anything! And I have no problem with people wearing them, whatever their size :flowerforyou:0 -
It is true that you are the only one who will change yourself. At my highest weight I was 263 and just absolutely hated myself. But if someone convinced me that it was acceptable to be that way I might have never convinced myself that I needed to change. I'm still technically quite obese and a size 16. I'm not ashamed, but I know it is not healthy to be this way. I guess that's all a personal opinion though.
It's also true that you can love yourself at any weight. I was 340 pounds and I didn't hate myself. I felt like I could and did look pretty. And really, it was acceptable for me to be that way. It's my life, not anyone else's, and my being overweight didn't affect them. Except maybe when they had to sit next to me on a plane, but that was just as embarrassing for me as it was for them. My impetus to lose weight was because I didn't want to be afraid of getting Type 2 diabetes or have my weight affect my ability to have kids later on. It had nothing to do with poor self esteem or a delusion that I was an ugly monster because of my size.
Just because someone feels pretty and good about themselves when they're overweight doesn't mean it will automatically stop them from wanting to lose weight and better themselves. I see the "fat acceptance movement" as more of a strive to make more women feel like they are pretty regardless of size. After all, hating yourself because you're a size 22 often doesn't lead people to do something in the long-term about their weight. It just makes them hate themselves. I love myself just as much at 250 as I did at 340, and will continue to. I just get to shop more places to dress my sexy self now.0 -
World health org:
obesity is defined as above 30% body fat. (thats level 1 obesity, it goes up from there)
Globally, 44% of diabetes, 23% of ischaemic heart disease and 7–41% of certain cancers are attributable to overweight and obesity.
shame is pointless. Taking responsibility (not blame, responsibility just means realising you have the power to change it) is not. Its just difficult because self worth is so tied up with out body image.
arguments that 'i know someone who has no health problems by being over weight" is just like saying i had a grandmother who smoked all her life. Its statistical.
many different body shapes are healthy, just doubt Obese levels are.0 -
We are all on a high horse at some point or another.
Oh. I see. How inclusive. How progressive. Funny how you didn't include this insightful comment when you originally posted your innocent little GIF addressed to no one in particular.
:laugh:0 -
We are all on a high horse at some point or another.
Oh. I see. How inclusive. How progressive. Funny how you didn't include this insightful comment when you originally posted your innocent little GIF addressed to no one in particular.
It was directed at the OP, that was obvious. I apologize that you didn't see that.
Why are you taking such offense to this? I said NOTHING to you.
LOL0
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