Eff Your Beauty Standards....?
hannamarie88
Posts: 231 Member
in Chit-Chat
So. I'm bracing to be attacked on this one... but there is a movement going on and I just need to discuss this. And it is Saturday, so maybe this will get ignored.
There is a difference between embracing your curves and obesity. I feel like we are facing an obesity epidemic not only in the US, but around the world. And there's a grass roots movement going on about embracing yourself at any size. Loving yourself is great, but if you are obese you should be focusing on your health as well. Not being like, I'm going to eat whatever I want, who cares - I don't have to be the standard. I'm big and beautiful.
I speak these words as someone who has struggled with weight their whole life. As you can see, I'm not skinny or the beauty ideal - but I'm working on myself and I feel like embracing your obesity is just a lazy cop out. It's called self control; and it is hard work. It almost makes me a little angry that people think obesity should be accepted in society. You are killing yourself sustaining that life.
I hope this is not seen as body shaming because that wasn't my intent. Obesity is a health crisis and should not be encouraged.
Tl;dr - I won't wear a bikini at my size and I don't think other obese women should either. I'm working on myself like so many others here and I feel embracing obesity and making it acceptable is only contributing to a larger problem.
I'm all for embracing yourself and having confidence in yourself whatever you look like - but shoving obesity down our throats as something we should accept? It just isn't healthy...
There is a difference between embracing your curves and obesity. I feel like we are facing an obesity epidemic not only in the US, but around the world. And there's a grass roots movement going on about embracing yourself at any size. Loving yourself is great, but if you are obese you should be focusing on your health as well. Not being like, I'm going to eat whatever I want, who cares - I don't have to be the standard. I'm big and beautiful.
I speak these words as someone who has struggled with weight their whole life. As you can see, I'm not skinny or the beauty ideal - but I'm working on myself and I feel like embracing your obesity is just a lazy cop out. It's called self control; and it is hard work. It almost makes me a little angry that people think obesity should be accepted in society. You are killing yourself sustaining that life.
I hope this is not seen as body shaming because that wasn't my intent. Obesity is a health crisis and should not be encouraged.
Tl;dr - I won't wear a bikini at my size and I don't think other obese women should either. I'm working on myself like so many others here and I feel embracing obesity and making it acceptable is only contributing to a larger problem.
I'm all for embracing yourself and having confidence in yourself whatever you look like - but shoving obesity down our throats as something we should accept? It just isn't healthy...
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Replies
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Some people who are obese can be healthy. Course i never was one of those lol But i say its peoples lives, let them do what they want. As a former morbidly obese person no matter how much a person talks to you of how unhealthy it is its only *YOU* that can decide to change that. No matter how much it was told me i decided myself i needed to do something and no i dont think being bigger means you should be automatically shamed for it. That wont help the person at all.0
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Some people who are obese can be healthy.
Please explain this...0 -
It is true that you are the only one who will change yourself. At my highest weight I was 263 and just absolutely hated myself. But if someone convinced me that it was acceptable to be that way I might have never convinced myself that I needed to change. I'm still technically quite obese and a size 16. I'm not ashamed, but I know it is not healthy to be this way. I guess that's all a personal opinion though.0
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Some people who are obese can be healthy.
Please explain this...
I would also like to know how you can be obese and healthy...0 -
Some people who are obese can be healthy.
Please explain this...
She probably should have said obese people can sometimes not show signs of metabolic disorders... yet.0 -
Well my by is overweight and has NO health problems. Yes it will probably catch up to him but so far so good.. People who are skinny can be unhealthy as well.0
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Some people who are obese can be healthy.
Please explain this...
She probably should have said obese people can sometimes not show signs of metabolic disorders... yet.
In the case of being obese and having a metabolic disorder, you still have an unhealthy body, it just might not be your fault.0 -
Well my by is overweight and has NO health problems. Yes it will probably catch up to him but so far so good.. People who are skinny can be unhealthy as well.
You said obese, there is a difference between being obese and being overweight. It is ALWAYS unhealthy to be obese, it is so hard on your body, your heart, your arteries, your blood vessels, your lungs. Everything in your body is working overtime and that is not good...0 -
Well even when he was 300 he still had no health problems. But as i stated yes it will probably catch up to him. Being a person who weighed 300lbs before i just think its funny how people look down upon us because of being bigger. Heck you can weight half that weight and be unhealthy.
I lost all my weight yet now i have back troubles. Might it happened if i stayed bigger probably, did it happen cause i carried all that extra weight 30plus years perhaps i will never know.
Just saying shaming people wont make them want to lose weight at all. Least it didnt me. Took myself and something clicking in my brain to realize how bad i was. Not here to argue just here to offer my opinion is all.0 -
I think plus size model Tess Munster is a huge advocate for "Eff your beauty Standards". I am pretty sure she may even of started the movement. She is gorgeous and I love her attitude. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, no one is perfect, embrace your imperfections, love yourself for who you are, and love those around you for who they are....that is what the movement is about. As far as I know from following her page, she isn't promoting or encouraging obesity.0
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How do you go from we shouldn't accept obesity because it's unhealthy to trying to tell other other people why they should wear?
The best advise for all people to recognize that nobody is prefect, that the media has disordered what people look like -- so be kind to yourselves, treat your body well -- take care, basically. This should take up enough of your time that you don't pay mind to what anyone else is doing. If you have time to worry other women in binikis, your focus is off.0 -
Some people who are obese can be healthy.
Please explain this...
I would also like to know how you can be obese and healthy...
One example: There are plenty of athletes that are technically obese, yet are healthy. In fact, many are in better shape than the average "normal" person, especially in they're "skinny fat". As always, the devil is in the details (e.g. specific criteria for "healthy" and "obese").0 -
Some people who are obese can be healthy.
Please explain this...
I would also like to know how you can be obese and healthy...
One example: There are plenty of athletes that are technically obese, yet are healthy. In fact, many are in better shape than the average "normal" person, especially in they're "skinny fat". As always, the devil is in the details (e.g. specific criteria for "healthy" and "obese").
Right, the whole BMI based definition of obesity is a joke. Most body builders are classified as obese based on their BMI, but everyone knows how stupid that is. If you're determining obesity by body fat percentage, then there is definitely a range of body fat percentage that is unhealthy and always unhealthy.0 -
How do you go from we shouldn't accept obesity because it's unhealthy to trying to tell other other people why they should wear?
This.
I escaped the obese BMI a week and a half ago and am glad. That being said, what anyone wears at any size is absolutely none of my business. Nor is it yours.
Edited to add:
There's also the whole thing where people automatically assume someone who is obese is hideous. I know skinny women, fit women, chubby women, and straight-up fat women with beautiful faces and features. And women at every size who are unfortunately not attractive at all. Hey, I'm not a pretty girl myself, so this isn't coming from a place of hatred. There are obese women out there who are knockouts. They can probably lose weight. Unless you have money for surgery, you can't fix your face
I think that's a lot of the movement of the perceptions of beauty. Skinny =/= hot automatically.
Edit x2: And ohmygod, I mean the general 'you' can't fix your face, not any of you guys in particular! :flowerforyou: That seemed really cruel of me without clarification!0 -
I think plus size model Tess Munster is a huge advocate for "Eff your beauty Standards". I am pretty sure she may even of started the movement. She is gorgeous and I love her attitude. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, no one is perfect, embrace your imperfections, love yourself for who you are, and love those around you for who they are....that is what the movement is about. As far as I know from following her page, she isn't promoting or encouraging obesity.
I have a rather warped perspective I should admit. In my adult life I have never been a "normal" weight and I've felt like a failure for it. I did not fully understand her movement, but it seemed to encourage not caring about being overweight. I apologize for not understanding fully. I couldn't really find anything about it other than what a friend had spoken about on Facebook and the photos on instagram.
I just feel like our society is moving into an acceptance of being unhealthy. I am still unhealthy and obese myself.0 -
Some people who are obese can be healthy.
Please explain this...
My mother 5'2, 200 pounds. She's obese, she has been for 30 years. Her blood work is perfect, is on no medication. She works a very physically demanding job and keeps up just fine with people half her age -- the woman barely gets head colds. She is totally healthy.
Is she at a higher risk for disease? Yes. But that doesn't make one "unhealthy". If that were true, people with a higher genetic predisposition for say breast cancer, were less healthy than those with a lower generic risk. Health is a complex concept.0 -
Who's this directed at? I don't see anyone who's posted on this thread so far on a high horse.
Wild guess, I am going to say the OP for trying to tell other people how to act, while openly admitting she has serious body image issues.0 -
Words every one needs to live by:
I choose
..to live by choice, not by change;
to make changes, not excuses;
to be motivated, not manipulated;
to be useful, not used;
to excel, not compete;
choose self esteem, not self pity.
Choose to listen to your inner voice, not the random opinions of others.
.0 -
I think there's a huge difference between learning to love oneself in spite of size/beauty standards and shoving obesity down throats, or ENCOURAGING obesity even.
This is presuming that I didn't misunderstand OPs post, ofc. Everyone should be able to love themselves, skinny or fat, and I think that there's a serious dirth of self-love in the world we live in. It's such a healthy thing to do, accepting and loving oneself!
Granted there are healthy ways to do it and unhealthy ways to do it. That 'real women have curves' and 'only dogs love bones' **** is both bodyshaming and yes, perhaps even encouraging obesity.
The plain act of having confidence and accepting ones body and loving ones self though? Nah.
Also what does wearing a bikini when you're plus sized have anything to do with this subject? Does that, in OPs opinion, shove obesity down throats?
It shouldn't, I don't think. It's just a body, a part of nature. If they have the confidence to wear a bikini when they're plus sized, good for'em.
Sorry, /rant0 -
Loving yourself does not mean knowing something is wrong and not changing it. Loving yourself is accepting who you are, flaws and all, but knowing that you can change some of your flaws and work hard to be the best for yourself. We are all here to work on bettering ourselves in some way.
Also, unless someone is wearing nothing but a bikini/speedo in a store or restaurant not by the sea, than, yeah I think we might have some reason to mention it, no matter their size. You know, the whole no shoes, no shirt, no service deal.0 -
I did not understand the movement. It felt like it was embracing obesity, but it has been clarified (above) that that is not all what is behind it. I'm not up on a high horse really. I've clearly admitted that I am not myself a normal weight. When I first saw it, it seemed to embrace being extremely overweight and just accepting that. I see more that it is more about loving yourself.
I personally struggle with that. That is good that they can accept themselves. I wish I could say the same.0 -
Who's this directed at? I don't see anyone who's posted on this thread so far on a high horse.
Wild guess, I am going to say the OP for trying to tell other people how to act, while openly admitting she has serious body image issues.
Well I guess I don't see it that way. And I'm morbidly obese. Actually not anymore, I'm just in the obese category now thanks to this site.
I see OP stating her opinion openly and bluntly, not telling other people how to act.
Personally I don't think stating an opinion on a message board designed just for that purpose deserves an insulting GIF. Regardless of how controversial that opinion may be.
Thank you. That was my intent. And it has also been noted that I fully did not understand the movement. That's what a message board is for. Discussion about topics. I now have a better understanding about it.0 -
So. I'm bracing to be attacked on this one... but there is a movement going on and I just need to discuss this. And it is Saturday, so maybe this will get ignored.
There is a difference between embracing your curves and obesity. I feel like we are facing an obesity epidemic not only in the US, but around the world. And there's a grass roots movement going on about embracing yourself at any size. Loving yourself is great, but if you are obese you should be focusing on your health as well. Not being like, I'm going to eat whatever I want, who cares - I don't have to be the standard. I'm big and beautiful.
I speak these words as someone who has struggled with weight their whole life. As you can see, I'm not skinny or the beauty ideal - but I'm working on myself and I feel like embracing your obesity is just a lazy cop out. It's called self control; and it is hard work. It almost makes me a little angry that people think obesity should be accepted in society. You are killing yourself sustaining that life.
I hope this is not seen as body shaming because that wasn't my intent. Obesity is a health crisis and should not be encouraged.
Tl;dr - I won't wear a bikini at my size and I don't think other obese women should either. I'm working on myself like so many others here and I feel embracing obesity and making it acceptable is only contributing to a larger problem.
I'm all for embracing yourself and having confidence in yourself whatever you look like - but shoving obesity down our throats as something we should accept? It just isn't healthy...
Embracing yourself at any size and embracing obesity are two totally different things. For some reason, people think that pushing for acceptance and loving yourself no matter what means being pro-fat. It's not. It's about not being defined by your dress size. And it certainly isn't "shoving obesity down your throat" (lol at that, seriously).
As far as your bikini comment, what other people wear is none of your business. I guarantee you that no one cares what you think they should wear.
Instead of completely twisting the whole concept, why not celebrate women being able to STOP defining their worth based on size - which is so incredibly emotionally and mentally damaging, and starts at like age 8 now, and encourage women to love themselves without saying "but, you're fat! That's unhealthy!". So is smoking, driving too fast, and drinking.
Stuff like this is the reason I think it's NECESSARY for women to say "*kitten* off" to conventional beauty standards. It was only until I started loving myself just as I was, that I was able to get the courage necessary to start losing weight.
And if a women wants to remain obese? So what. It's her life, her health, her choice. Someone loving themselves while being fat doesn't promote s*it except self love.0 -
Who's this directed at? I don't see anyone who's posted on this thread so far on a high horse.
Wild guess, I am going to say the OP for trying to tell other people how to act, while openly admitting she has serious body image issues.
Well I guess I don't see it that way. And I'm morbidly obese. Actually not anymore, I'm just in the obese category now thanks to this site.
I see OP stating her opinion openly and bluntly, not telling other people how to act.
Personally I don't think stating an opinion on a message board designed just for that purpose deserves an insulting GIF. Regardless of how controversial that opinion may be.
No, the OP said she wouldn't wear a bikini and she doesn't think obese women should either.
Why does anyone care what anyone else is wearing? I don't wear a bikini because I don't think I look good in them. I've seen women larger than me rock a bikini. If they are comfortable in one, I say more power to them!0 -
I am in far to good of a mood right now to allow this thread to massively piss me off
so I will leave this here until I come back and let you know how wrong you are
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Words every one needs to live by:
I choose
..to live by choice, not by change;
to make changes, not excuses;
to be motivated, not manipulated;
to be useful, not used;
to excel, not compete;
choose self esteem, not self pity.
Choose to listen to your inner voice, not the random opinions of others.
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Sounds like good advice! Btw, GinandJuice75, great job on weight lost! You look fabulous!! :flowerforyou:0 -
I agree with you. You can have self-regard but still understand that your weight is, or will in the future cause you health problems. It also will usually affect your social desirability.0
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Actually, a lot of the women (and men) that are part of the "eff your beauty standards" movement ARE actively losing weight and are living healthier more active lifestyles. They just make it a point to love their bodies now and loving themselves as they change. They also make it known that they are losing the weight (the ones that are choosing to do so), dressing a certain way, and living the way they live, is for no one but themselves. The movement is actually very positive, and not everyone involved or following the movement are obese or overweight.
It's all about realizing that your body is not an apology, even if it doesn't match what everyone thinks it should look like.0
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