Eff Your Beauty Standards....?

Who's this directed at? I don't see anyone who's posted on this thread so far on a high horse.

Wild guess, I am going to say the OP for trying to tell other people how to act, while openly admitting she has serious body image issues.

Well I guess I don't see it that way. And I'm morbidly obese. Actually not anymore, I'm just in the obese category now thanks to this site.

I see OP stating her opinion openly and bluntly, not telling other people how to act.

Personally I don't think stating an opinion on a message board designed just for that purpose deserves an insulting GIF. Regardless of how controversial that opinion may be.

Insulting? How so?

We are all on a high horse at some point or another.

ETA:

The OP is full of judging people she knows nothing about.

Actually, a lot of the women (and men) that are part of the "eff your beauty standards" movement ARE actively losing weight and are living healthier more active lifestyles. They just make it a point to love their bodies now and loving themselves as they change. They also make it known that they are losing the weight (the ones that are choosing to do so), dressing a certain way, and living the way they live, is for no one but themselves. The movement is actually very positive, and not everyone involved or following the movement are obese or overweight.

It's all about realizing that your body is not an apology, even if it doesn't match what everyone thinks it should look like.

& this is spot on.

The movement isn't about embracing obesity. Its primary focus is to foster a healthy self and body image. I think that being healthy and taking care of one's body, and mind are important. I do, however, think that western society perpetuates an ideal of beauty that is unattainable for a large number of the population. I love that Tess is out there encouraging curvy gals and women to be comfortable in their own skin. Beauty comes in different shapes and sizes. I know curvy gals and slim gals that are beautiful inside and out.

Why do you feel it is unattainable for most of the population?

Some things, like large breasts, are unattainable outside of cosmetic surgery. And not everyone can have a great *kitten*, pecs, etc from simple genetics. But if you're suggesting that not everyone can attain and maintain a healthy body weight, then I completely disagree with you.

It is true that you are the only one who will change yourself. At my highest weight I was 263 and just absolutely hated myself. But if someone convinced me that it was acceptable to be that way I might have never convinced myself that I needed to change. I'm still technically quite obese and a size 16. I'm not ashamed, but I know it is not healthy to be this way. I guess that's all a personal opinion though.

It's also true that you can love yourself at any weight. I was 340 pounds and I didn't hate myself. I felt like I could and did look pretty. And really, it was acceptable for me to be that way. It's my life, not anyone else's, and my being overweight didn't affect them. Except maybe when they had to sit next to me on a plane, but that was just as embarrassing for me as it was for them. My impetus to lose weight was because I didn't want to be afraid of getting Type 2 diabetes or have my weight affect my ability to have kids later on. It had nothing to do with poor self esteem or a delusion that I was an ugly monster because of my size.

Just because someone feels pretty and good about themselves when they're overweight doesn't mean it will automatically stop them from wanting to lose weight and better themselves. I see the "fat acceptance movement" as more of a strive to make more women feel like they are pretty regardless of size. After all, hating yourself because you're a size 22 often doesn't lead people to do something in the long-term about their weight. It just makes them hate themselves. I love myself just as much at 250 as I did at 340, and will continue to. I just get to shop more places to dress my sexy self now.

We are all on a high horse at some point or another.

Oh. I see. How inclusive. How progressive. Funny how you didn't include this insightful comment when you originally posted your innocent little GIF addressed to no one in particular.

:laugh:

I think plus size model Tess Munster is a huge advocate for "Eff your beauty Standards". I am pretty sure she may even of started the movement. She is gorgeous and I love her attitude. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, no one is perfect, embrace your imperfections, love yourself for who you are, and love those around you for who they are....that is what the movement is about. As far as I know from following her page, she isn't promoting or encouraging obesity.

This. Size 0 was not always the standard and I personally believe curves are beautiful. I also believe that what a person looks like, what they eat, what they wear and how they choose to live their life is their own business. Not mine or anybody else's. If you don't like the way you look, change it. If you don't like the way somebody else looks, don't look. I'm sure each of us has our own families and friends (or, at the very least our own selves) to be concerned about without worrying about some stranger on the street. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, sure, but having an opinion on something doesn't make it your business.

Just saying shaming people wont make them want to lose weight at all.

Who said that was the motive for shaming people?

So what other reason do people put other people down about their weight?

The movement isn't about embracing obesity. Its primary focus is to foster a healthy self and body image. I think that being healthy and taking care of one's body, and mind are important. I do, however, think that western society perpetuates an ideal of beauty that is unattainable for a large number of the population. I love that Tess is out there encouraging curvy gals and women to be comfortable in their own skin. Beauty comes in different shapes and sizes. I know curvy gals and slim gals that are beautiful inside and out.

Why do you feel it is unattainable for most of the population?

Some things, like large breasts, are unattainable outside of cosmetic surgery. And not everyone can have a great *kitten*, pecs, etc from simple genetics. But if you're suggesting that not everyone can attain and maintain a healthy body weight, then I completely disagree with you.

The point that I am making here is that beauty comes in different shapes and sizes. You and I can agree to disagree. I already stated that striving towards health is important. I understand the need for a movement like Tess'. No one should be shamed or made to feel less than merely because of how they look.

I agree that no one should be made to feel bad about the way that they look. But if you are saying that a healthy bodyweight is unattainable for for most of the population, you are very very mistaken.

I would like to see more about how loving your body means helping yourself get and stay healthy.

I understand the idea that just because you don't look like a model doesn't mean you aren't beautiful. Before I gained a lot of weight, I was pretty attractive, but not at all in a typical way. I'm 6'1", I was super strong and had a lot of muscle, I was very curvy without being overweight, I wasn't thin, but I was fit, I have very wide set eyes and a somewhat round face. I really didn't feel the need to be short and thin with perfect cheek bones and perfect hair etc. I looked like an amazon, not exactly a knick knack. I didn't grow up with TV or movies or pop culture magazines and all that so I wasn't really self conscious about my body. I liked my body and didn't see a problem even though society at large might have. So I can see why this movement is valuable to women who might have some real self loathing for reasons like "I'm not a size 2, I'm a size 10" or "I'm too tall" or "I'm too short" or "my face is weird" or "my breasts aren't the right size" issues.

Now I'm about 60-70 lbs overweight and it feels awful, but not because of society's pressure to be this cute little woman, but because I know that this isn't good for me and I just don't look like myself. I like my personality a lot, I'm not ugly, I tend to be hard on myself about my goals academically and with work, but I don't hate myself. I'd say I'm a lovable person, but I don't love my body right now; I hate it and I hate that people won't just let me hate it. I just want to hate my body! What is wrong with that?! I have good reason to hate it! That being said, I'm working on it and I've lost some weight and have experienced a great increase in the quality of my life because I'm getting healthier, but I don't love my body and I don't need to. What I need is to loose weight!

I wouldn't appreciate anyone else's judgements about my body being awful right now. I would expect people to just leave me alone about it because it isn't their business. That being said, men seem to pick up on my left and right esp. lately so it can't be all terrible and that does help my feelings about my body sometimes. Sometimes it is just obnoxious. So,I guess society's beauty standards are obviously garbage if I'm heavier than I have been in my life and men still find me attractive, but I'm still not happy with my body because I know it's current state is bad.

So, yeah, loving your body and saying "eff you" to societal pressures we feel to be something other than what we are, I get it. I've just had to do that being tall and muscular and looking the way I have, but it hasn't been the struggle for me that it has been for other women just because I didn't grow up with any pop culture garbage. Being much heavier than I'm comfortable being and not being able to fit into my old clothes and just noticing I am not nearly as agile as I used to be? That has messed me up bad and I just gotta be strong on the inside and loose the weight. I don't want to stay this fat, so I don't really see the point of loving being overweight.

I think plus size model Tess Munster is a huge advocate for "Eff your beauty Standards". I am pretty sure she may even of started the movement. She is gorgeous and I love her attitude. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, no one is perfect, embrace your imperfections, love yourself for who you are, and love those around you for who they are....that is what the movement is about. As far as I know from following her page, she isn't promoting or encouraging obesity.

I have a rather warped perspective I should admit. In my adult life I have never been a "normal" weight and I've felt like a failure for it. I did not fully understand her movement, but it seemed to encourage not caring about being overweight. I apologize for not understanding fully. I couldn't really find anything about it other than what a friend had spoken about on Facebook and the photos on instagram.

I just feel like our society is moving into an acceptance of being unhealthy. I am still unhealthy and obese myself.

No need to apologize. I feel like the misinterpretation of the "Eff your beauty standards" movement comes from the fact that the founder is indeed obese. Therefore, some assume without reading further or researching more, that she is encouraging being overweight/obesity. I can see how easy it would be to do.

If someone doesn't mind being obese that's no business of mine, nor is it any business of mine what he or she chooses to wear, and I generally don't see the point of shaming people. Being dishonest about obesity's effect on health, self-image and attractiveness, however, is borderline enabling.

I agree with this 2,000%. As long as we love ourselves and aren't in denial about the reality of our health/our bodies, who are we to shame others?

How do you go from we shouldn't accept obesity because it's unhealthy to trying to tell other other people why they should wear?

The best advise for all people to recognize that nobody is prefect, that the media has disordered what people look like -- so be kind to yourselves, treat your body well -- take care, basically. This should take up enough of your time that you don't pay mind to what anyone else is doing. If you have time to worry other women in binikis, your focus is off.

Took the words right out of my mouth, though you wrote it more eloquently than I would have. I was all on board with everything OP wrote until she began policing what women "should" wear. Aside from that, I agree.

And the above advice is great.

If someone wants to be fat, how's it bothering you?

I am over 200 lb and healthy aside from my Hashimoto's, which caused my weight gain and inability to lose for years.

What about those skinny people that eat like ****? They shouldn't love themselves because they're unhealthy? I know thin people who are worse off than me.

In the modern day self-esteem has been placed over EVERYTHING else in importance, fat acceptance is just part of that. This is, IMO, one of the major problems that we have as a society, because it breeds people unwilling and unable to accept criticism.

Mr. Rogers-style "You're special and I like you just the way you are" statements are important for children finding their identity, but should not be the ONLY feedback they get.

Some people who are obese can be healthy.

Please explain this...

My mother 5'2, 200 pounds. She's obese, she has been for 30 years. Her blood work is perfect, is on no medication. She works a very physically demanding job and keeps up just fine with people half her age -- the woman barely gets head colds. She is totally healthy.

Is she at a higher risk for disease? Yes. But that doesn't make one "unhealthy". If that were true, people with a higher genetic predisposition for say breast cancer, were less healthy than those with a lower generic risk. Health is a complex concept.

So by that reasoning, the obese person with good blood markers is only ever "unhealthy" during the few seconds of their heart attack. The previous 50 years of their life were adequately "healthy".

Right.