Support? What support? Where?

Wilhellmina
Wilhellmina Posts: 757 Member
in Motivation and Support
So, not all of us use MFP to pump up the muscle volume or to lose a great amount of weight. I, for example, use it to get on track with my diet, to improve my health drastically, since I got autoimmune issues and most likely progesterone deficiency. But as soon as I mention something about it at my profile I see the number of friends drop, not to mention all those who I never see at all, making my total of friends dropping from almost 80 in the beginning to 26 at the moment and if I would keep only those who I speak frequently I would end up with not even 10 friends. So what is that about supporting each other?
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Replies

  • Kitteneyes01
    Kitteneyes01 Posts: 125
    Hahaha. Yeah. I've seen that. I do 5:2 and as soon as I mention it (and this is not just on MFP) everyone is like: "What?! Are you INSANE?!" BOOM, delete. =D
  • jotomlins5
    jotomlins5 Posts: 5
    I mainly use my food diary and exercise diary as support to help me know how much i'm eating and using up energy wise. I'm sorry to hear your friends are dropping :( I only have 1 friend anyway hehe. I'm on the 5:2 diet, how is it working for you Kitteneyes? I find it will only benefit weight wise if you keep track of your eating on the other days. I certainly don't think your insane and if you committ to it , it's pretty easy. I haven't lost any weight as such as I have been doing fitnessblender routines and i think I have added a bit of muscle mass whilst losing body fat! I hate scales anyway...........measurements are better :)
  • Shropshire1959
    Shropshire1959 Posts: 982 Member
    You need support too?

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1161300-how-to-do-up-a-shock-absorber-running-bra
  • Tracey_B_72
    Tracey_B_72 Posts: 1,021 Member
    Add me if you like, I just like to be encouraging to people or relate to an experience! I only delete when someone had been UN active form a month.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    So, not all of us use MFP to pump up the muscle volume or to lose a great amount of weight. I, for example, use it to get on track with my diet, to improve my health drastically, since I got autoimmune issues and most likely progesterone deficiency. But as soon as I mention something about it at my profile I see the number of friends drop, not to mention all those who I never see at all, making my total of friends dropping from almost 80 in the beginning to 26 at the moment and if I would keep only those who I speak frequently I would end up with not even 10 friends. So what is that about supporting each other?

    I would go for quality over quantity any time...
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,224 Member
    Why would you want them to stick around, if they obviously aren't interested in your issues? Quality over quantity... If someone doesn't agree with what I'm doing, I'd rather they deleted me than b!tched at me or started debates on my wall.

    Think about it like this, of all the people you meet in your life, you end up friends with very few of them. The same will happen here. People will add you, or you them, and you or they might work out you dont really have anything in common, or the same goals, and so they move on. There are a lot of reasons people are here, and people look for different things. Remember that there are real, actual people behind the text on the screen, and that providing support and motivation on a blanket basis isn't mandatory.
  • Kitteneyes01
    Kitteneyes01 Posts: 125
    I mainly use my food diary and exercise diary as support to help me know how much i'm eating and using up energy wise. I'm sorry to hear your friends are dropping :( I only have 1 friend anyway hehe. I'm on the 5:2 diet, how is it working for you Kitteneyes? I find it will only benefit weight wise if you keep track of your eating on the other days. I certainly don't think your insane and if you committ to it , it's pretty easy. I haven't lost any weight as such as I have been doing fitnessblender routines and i think I have added a bit of muscle mass whilst losing body fat! I hate scales anyway...........measurements are better :)

    Heya! I'm not too keen on calories at the moment (actually keeping the number closed with my finger everytime I log in) but yes I only eat foods I KNOW are low calorie on fast days. I've been eating a bit too much lately so 5:2 hasn't done much this week except maintain. :) I could friend you if you'd like?
  • jotomlins5
    jotomlins5 Posts: 5
    Nah, it's ok I only have the one friend cause they told me about MFP.......I don't really need friends on here I kinda motivate myself, but thanks anyway :)
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    Confused... people are defriending you because you mention autoimmune and hormone issues? :huh: If that's the case, probably not the kind of people you'd want as friends.
  • Ktanaqui
    Ktanaqui Posts: 35 Member
    I wouldn't know if I've had that happen to me yet or not; I know that there are people who are very questionable about my condition(s) though, so I wouldn't be shocked if it did occur. I want to try to make real friends out of the people I've added - or that have added me - but so far, I only seem to regularly talk to one of them. It's a sad situation, really. Or at least, it makes me sad because friends would be nice since the rest of my life is oh-so-difficult.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    So, not all of us use MFP to pump up the muscle volume or to lose a great amount of weight. I, for example, use it to get on track with my diet, to improve my health drastically, since I got autoimmune issues and most likely progesterone deficiency. But as soon as I mention something about it at my profile I see the number of friends drop, not to mention all those who I never see at all, making my total of friends dropping from almost 80 in the beginning to 26 at the moment and if I would keep only those who I speak frequently I would end up with not even 10 friends. So what is that about supporting each other?

    I would go for quality over quantity any time...

    I don't have a lot of friends on MFP either. All you need is a few for support. MFP isn't my whole life. I only have about 20 friends on Facebook too. I see that one of my friends is always adding friends and I think she's crazy. How do you keep up with all those people anyway?
  • mfp2014mfp
    mfp2014mfp Posts: 689 Member
    I think you get back what you put out, are you being a supportive friend?
  • Wilhellmina
    Wilhellmina Posts: 757 Member
    So, not all of us use MFP to pump up the muscle volume or to lose a great amount of weight. I, for example, use it to get on track with my diet, to improve my health drastically, since I got autoimmune issues and most likely progesterone deficiency. But as soon as I mention something about it at my profile I see the number of friends drop, not to mention all those who I never see at all, making my total of friends dropping from almost 80 in the beginning to 26 at the moment and if I would keep only those who I speak frequently I would end up with not even 10 friends. So what is that about supporting each other?

    I would go for quality over quantity any time...

    I don't have a lot of friends on MFP either. All you need is a few for support. MFP isn't my whole life. I only have about 20 friends on Facebook too. I see that one of my friends is always adding friends and I think she's crazy. How do you keep up with all those people anyway?

    Some people have a weirddddd idea of support I tell you! Like if a high number of so called friends who never talk to you will give you that! I have seen people as well treating MFP as a second Facebook, their whole lives is lived here.

    Yup, I go for quality as well, just don't get those who say they are looking for support and once added you don't see or hear anything from them. Well nice they want support, but don't we all?
  • _Zardoz_
    _Zardoz_ Posts: 3,987 Member
    You get from it what you put in. If you're supportive you get support. Don't expect people to search for you. I have many people on my friends list with different life styles and approaches to food just because someone eats or exercises differently to me doesn't mean we can't support each other. Rather than thinking its their problem maybe look at what you're doing. Also as with real life not everyone will get on some people will just plain annoy each other. Support is two way. Good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for
  • Dwinklepleck
    Dwinklepleck Posts: 8 Member
    I always think of finding quality people to befriend with crabbing. Toss in the net knowing that 90% of what you haul in is gonna have to be thrown back.

    BTW what is a 5:2 diet?
  • Shropshire1959
    Shropshire1959 Posts: 982 Member

    BTW what is a 5:2 diet?


    Hi 5:2 is an Intermittent fasting plan .. 5 normal days to 2 low calorie (http://thefastdiet.co.uk/)
  • nz_deevaa
    nz_deevaa Posts: 12,209 Member
    Maybe it's you?
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    I don't think you actually get support from this site, or need it, unless you count people saying " Wow, way to go, awesome burn" every time you post a 10 minute workout. For me, I find that doesn't offer any tangible result except that it gets annoying. Find your own support and motivation in YOU, that's the only thing that will actually work.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Maybe it's you?

    That's my guess.

    1. People like to have like minded people on their FL, so if you're here for different reasons maybe people dropped you because it wasn't a good match.
    2. People don't like Debbie Downers on their FL, so if you have a whiny feed, you'll get dropped a lot.
    3. If you were actually giving the 60 people that dropped you support, they probably wouldn't have dropped you, regardless of #1 and #2.

    But maybe making whiny threads is the new way of finding supportive friends? I dunno, but if I was one of the 20 people left on your FL I'd be wondering why you're making threads complaining about the people that left instead of, you know, giving me support.
  • allotmentgardener
    allotmentgardener Posts: 248 Member
    Anyone can add me as a friend. I am 39 and vegetarian. We are all on here to lose weight and be healthy though we all have different ways of getting there. I log daily. I do prefer people with viewable diaries as I am nosey, plus I often get meal ideas.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    Maybe it's you?

    That's my guess.

    1. People like to have like minded people on their FL, so if you're here for different reasons maybe people dropped you because it wasn't a good match.
    2. People don't like Debbie Downers on their FL, so if you have a whiny feed, you'll get dropped a lot.
    3. If you were actually giving the 60 people that dropped you support, they probably wouldn't have dropped you, regardless of #1 and #2.

    But maybe making whiny threads is the new way of finding supportive friends? I dunno, but if I was one of the 20 people left on your FL I'd be wondering why you're making threads complaining about the people that left instead of, you know, giving me support.

    I know I'd drop over the whiny thread. ANGTFT
  • Wilhellmina
    Wilhellmina Posts: 757 Member
    I don't think you actually get support from this site, or need it, unless you count people saying " Wow, way to go, awesome burn" every time you post a 10 minute workout. For me, I find that doesn't offer any tangible result except that it gets annoying. Find your own support and motivation in YOU, that's the only thing that will actually work.

    I think this is the best answer so far! In the beginning I gave a lot of support, but that meant telling them what they needed to hear, instead of what they wanted to hear and that was clearly not appreciated. Cheering people for everything, even knowing it is bad I just can't. I prefer dead honest people.

    Further I am not a whiner at all. Mostly in a good mood, love to joke around and the status I left was far from negative. I barely say anything about my issues, I only told that I figured out what my issues are and how to deal with it. As far as I know that's a good thing, innit?
  • FitnSassy
    FitnSassy Posts: 263 Member
    Maybe it's you?

    I really don't mean to offend, but it seems you have more issues than "autoimmune and progesterone deficiency." If this post is an example of how you express yourself as you "support" your friends, I would drop you too. You can't bully people into liking you. And who died and left you in charge of labeling people "weird" just because they don't think, act or support the same as you? I say, get in where you fit in, and change that profile picture to something more inviting.
  • trinacrick
    trinacrick Posts: 41
    Feel free to add me. I like the camaraderie. I like the accountability of knowing that I have friends logging every day and I am not going to be the one to kill my own logging streak. I have always found a little bit of competition is motivating.

    Your original post was not whiny or complaining.

    :)
  • trinacrick
    trinacrick Posts: 41
    Anyone can add me as a friend. I am 39 and vegetarian. We are all on here to lose weight and be healthy though we all have different ways of getting there. I log daily. I do prefer people with viewable diaries as I am nosey, plus I often get meal ideas.

    I read others' diaries all of the time too! I'm with you.....I get some meal ideas and I am nosey. I am one of those people that is always peeking in other carts at the grocery store, wondering what they are buying.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    Very strange thread. The comments about people treating this like a second facebook, I'm not sure I understand. It sounds, based on that alone, like you hold a certain people who use the site in contempt. If you were my friend, and I felt that you were contemptuous of me, I would probably just stop being your friend. Not to be mean, but because it's clear I'm unwelcome. The problem is certainly something for you to reflect on.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    Maybe it's you?

    That's my guess.

    1. People like to have like minded people on their FL, so if you're here for different reasons maybe people dropped you because it wasn't a good match.
    2. People don't like Debbie Downers on their FL, so if you have a whiny feed, you'll get dropped a lot.
    3. If you were actually giving the 60 people that dropped you support, they probably wouldn't have dropped you, regardless of #1 and #2.

    But maybe making whiny threads is the new way of finding supportive friends? I dunno, but if I was one of the 20 people left on your FL I'd be wondering why you're making threads complaining about the people that left instead of, you know, giving me support.
    yep.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    Very strange thread. The comments about people treating this like a second facebook, I'm not sure I understand. It sounds, based on that alone, like you hold a certain people who use the site in contempt. If you were my friend, and I felt that you were contemptuous of me, I would probably just stop being your friend. Not to be mean, but because it's clear I'm unwelcome. The problem is certainly something for you to reflect on.
    yep
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,984 Member
    So, not all of us use MFP to pump up the muscle volume or to lose a great amount of weight. I, for example, use it to get on track with my diet, to improve my health drastically, since I got autoimmune issues and most likely progesterone deficiency. But as soon as I mention something about it at my profile I see the number of friends drop, not to mention all those who I never see at all, making my total of friends dropping from almost 80 in the beginning to 26 at the moment and if I would keep only those who I speak frequently I would end up with not even 10 friends. So what is that about supporting each other?
    Don't take it personally. I've had LOTS of people (right now I have over 42 pages of friends) friend me because I'm a trainer, then drop me when they hear I drink diet soda and eat fast food. And I end up deleting people who go a month without activity (with an except few).

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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