Support? What support? Where?

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2

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  • allotmentgardener
    allotmentgardener Posts: 248 Member
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    Anyone can add me as a friend. I am 39 and vegetarian. We are all on here to lose weight and be healthy though we all have different ways of getting there. I log daily. I do prefer people with viewable diaries as I am nosey, plus I often get meal ideas.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    Maybe it's you?

    That's my guess.

    1. People like to have like minded people on their FL, so if you're here for different reasons maybe people dropped you because it wasn't a good match.
    2. People don't like Debbie Downers on their FL, so if you have a whiny feed, you'll get dropped a lot.
    3. If you were actually giving the 60 people that dropped you support, they probably wouldn't have dropped you, regardless of #1 and #2.

    But maybe making whiny threads is the new way of finding supportive friends? I dunno, but if I was one of the 20 people left on your FL I'd be wondering why you're making threads complaining about the people that left instead of, you know, giving me support.

    I know I'd drop over the whiny thread. ANGTFT
  • Wilhellmina
    Wilhellmina Posts: 757 Member
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    I don't think you actually get support from this site, or need it, unless you count people saying " Wow, way to go, awesome burn" every time you post a 10 minute workout. For me, I find that doesn't offer any tangible result except that it gets annoying. Find your own support and motivation in YOU, that's the only thing that will actually work.

    I think this is the best answer so far! In the beginning I gave a lot of support, but that meant telling them what they needed to hear, instead of what they wanted to hear and that was clearly not appreciated. Cheering people for everything, even knowing it is bad I just can't. I prefer dead honest people.

    Further I am not a whiner at all. Mostly in a good mood, love to joke around and the status I left was far from negative. I barely say anything about my issues, I only told that I figured out what my issues are and how to deal with it. As far as I know that's a good thing, innit?
  • FitnSassy
    FitnSassy Posts: 263 Member
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    Maybe it's you?

    I really don't mean to offend, but it seems you have more issues than "autoimmune and progesterone deficiency." If this post is an example of how you express yourself as you "support" your friends, I would drop you too. You can't bully people into liking you. And who died and left you in charge of labeling people "weird" just because they don't think, act or support the same as you? I say, get in where you fit in, and change that profile picture to something more inviting.
  • trinacrick
    trinacrick Posts: 41
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    Feel free to add me. I like the camaraderie. I like the accountability of knowing that I have friends logging every day and I am not going to be the one to kill my own logging streak. I have always found a little bit of competition is motivating.

    Your original post was not whiny or complaining.

    :)
  • trinacrick
    trinacrick Posts: 41
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    Anyone can add me as a friend. I am 39 and vegetarian. We are all on here to lose weight and be healthy though we all have different ways of getting there. I log daily. I do prefer people with viewable diaries as I am nosey, plus I often get meal ideas.

    I read others' diaries all of the time too! I'm with you.....I get some meal ideas and I am nosey. I am one of those people that is always peeking in other carts at the grocery store, wondering what they are buying.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
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    Very strange thread. The comments about people treating this like a second facebook, I'm not sure I understand. It sounds, based on that alone, like you hold a certain people who use the site in contempt. If you were my friend, and I felt that you were contemptuous of me, I would probably just stop being your friend. Not to be mean, but because it's clear I'm unwelcome. The problem is certainly something for you to reflect on.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    Maybe it's you?

    That's my guess.

    1. People like to have like minded people on their FL, so if you're here for different reasons maybe people dropped you because it wasn't a good match.
    2. People don't like Debbie Downers on their FL, so if you have a whiny feed, you'll get dropped a lot.
    3. If you were actually giving the 60 people that dropped you support, they probably wouldn't have dropped you, regardless of #1 and #2.

    But maybe making whiny threads is the new way of finding supportive friends? I dunno, but if I was one of the 20 people left on your FL I'd be wondering why you're making threads complaining about the people that left instead of, you know, giving me support.
    yep.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    Very strange thread. The comments about people treating this like a second facebook, I'm not sure I understand. It sounds, based on that alone, like you hold a certain people who use the site in contempt. If you were my friend, and I felt that you were contemptuous of me, I would probably just stop being your friend. Not to be mean, but because it's clear I'm unwelcome. The problem is certainly something for you to reflect on.
    yep
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,598 Member
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    So, not all of us use MFP to pump up the muscle volume or to lose a great amount of weight. I, for example, use it to get on track with my diet, to improve my health drastically, since I got autoimmune issues and most likely progesterone deficiency. But as soon as I mention something about it at my profile I see the number of friends drop, not to mention all those who I never see at all, making my total of friends dropping from almost 80 in the beginning to 26 at the moment and if I would keep only those who I speak frequently I would end up with not even 10 friends. So what is that about supporting each other?
    Don't take it personally. I've had LOTS of people (right now I have over 42 pages of friends) friend me because I'm a trainer, then drop me when they hear I drink diet soda and eat fast food. And I end up deleting people who go a month without activity (with an except few).

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • CoffeeBugg
    CoffeeBugg Posts: 75 Member
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    So, not all of us use MFP to pump up the muscle volume or to lose a great amount of weight. I, for example, use it to get on track with my diet, to improve my health drastically, since I got autoimmune issues and most likely progesterone deficiency. But as soon as I mention something about it at my profile I see the number of friends drop, not to mention all those who I never see at all, making my total of friends dropping from almost 80 in the beginning to 26 at the moment and if I would keep only those who I speak frequently I would end up with not even 10 friends. So what is that about supporting each other?

    So you have made friends that you speak frequently with, yet it the ones that left who you decide to make a thread about? Perhaps if you focus on the positives, rather than stewing over the negatives?
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
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    I have 2 auto-immune diseases and I haven't lost any of my friends to it so I wouldn't blame it on that unless you are complaining all the time about it, which I could understand. My Hashimoto's is a pain in the keister but it's the approach to this stuff that is what makes people stay or go.. If you are deteremined to promote healing in yourself and overcome it then people tend to support that. If you simply wish to wallow in the suckfest that is your autoimmune disease then most people won't want to stick around to see it. Best of luck in your healing and health, OP.

    :drinker:
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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    So you're upset that people want to be MFP friends with other people who are facing similar issues as they are and don't see the benefit of being MFP friends with people who are facing drastically different issues and therefor, drastically different approaches to diet and health? Gosh, you're right, people aren't supportive.

    However, I'm getting the strong impression that it's not your eating style that drives people away but your personal attitude toward different aspects of diet and health. If the tone of this thread is anything to go by, I'd say it's more likely personality differences more than medical or dietary ones that make people decide they don't want to deal with you.

    It's probably worth some introspection on your part if you really want to understand or you can continue in the belief that people are jerks and take no responsibility. The latter is the easier approach to life but choosing the former is probably a lot more fulfilling in the long run. Your choice.
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,462 Member
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    Maybe it's you?

    That's my guess.

    1. People like to have like minded people on their FL, so if you're here for different reasons maybe people dropped you because it wasn't a good match.
    2. People don't like Debbie Downers on their FL, so if you have a whiny feed, you'll get dropped a lot.
    3. If you were actually giving the 60 people that dropped you support, they probably wouldn't have dropped you, regardless of #1 and #2.

    But maybe making whiny threads is the new way of finding supportive friends? I dunno, but if I was one of the 20 people left on your FL I'd be wondering why you're making threads complaining about the people that left instead of, you know, giving me support.

    This man is a very wise, helpful, supportive person.

    His advice is spot on.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    I have 2 auto-immune diseases and I haven't lost any of my friends to it so I wouldn't blame it on that unless you are complaining all the time about it, which I could understand. My Hashimoto's is a pain in the keister but it's the approach to this stuff that is what makes people stay or go.. If you are deteremined to promote healing in yourself and overcome it then people tend to support that. If you simply wish to wallow in the suckfest that is your autoimmune disease then most people won't want to stick around to see it. Best of luck in your healing and health, OP.

    :drinker:

    Oh that's it, we're breaking up...Get off my FL!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Jk...:drinker:
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    Options
    I have 2 auto-immune diseases and I haven't lost any of my friends to it so I wouldn't blame it on that unless you are complaining all the time about it, which I could understand. My Hashimoto's is a pain in the keister but it's the approach to this stuff that is what makes people stay or go.. If you are deteremined to promote healing in yourself and overcome it then people tend to support that. If you simply wish to wallow in the suckfest that is your autoimmune disease then most people won't want to stick around to see it. Best of luck in your healing and health, OP.

    :drinker:

    Oh that's it, we're breaking up...Get off my FL!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Jk...:drinker:

    NO!!! *Ties you up* You'll never leave me....
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    Maybe it's you?

    Ah, what I came to say has already been said.

    Carry on then.
  • rowlandsw
    rowlandsw Posts: 1,166 Member
    Options
    So, not all of us use MFP to pump up the muscle volume or to lose a great amount of weight. I, for example, use it to get on track with my diet, to improve my health drastically, since I got autoimmune issues and most likely progesterone deficiency. But as soon as I mention something about it at my profile I see the number of friends drop, not to mention all those who I never see at all, making my total of friends dropping from almost 80 in the beginning to 26 at the moment and if I would keep only those who I speak frequently I would end up with not even 10 friends. So what is that about supporting each other?
    Don't take it personally. I've had LOTS of people (right now I have over 42 pages of friends) friend me because I'm a trainer, then drop me when they hear I drink diet soda and eat fast food. And I end up deleting people who go a month without activity (with an except few).

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I'd friend you because you're a trainer who likes fast food and soda lol
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    If ~75% of your friends have dropped you, maybe, just maybe it's not them? ;)

    ETA: Smilie faces make everyone happy

    ETA2: I clearly didn't even bother to read anything past the OP
  • jimmmer
    jimmmer Posts: 3,515 Member
    Options
    Maybe it's you?

    That's my guess.

    1. People like to have like minded people on their FL, so if you're here for different reasons maybe people dropped you because it wasn't a good match.
    2. People don't like Debbie Downers on their FL, so if you have a whiny feed, you'll get dropped a lot.
    3. If you were actually giving the 60 people that dropped you support, they probably wouldn't have dropped you, regardless of #1 and #2.

    But maybe making whiny threads is the new way of finding supportive friends? I dunno, but if I was one of the 20 people left on your FL I'd be wondering why you're making threads complaining about the people that left instead of, you know, giving me support.

    ^yup.

    People come, people go. Can't get your knickers in a twist about it.

    Be good to the people who've decided to stick with you instead of *****ing about everyone else who left.

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