Support? What support? Where?

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Replies

  • CoffeeBugg
    CoffeeBugg Posts: 75 Member
    So, not all of us use MFP to pump up the muscle volume or to lose a great amount of weight. I, for example, use it to get on track with my diet, to improve my health drastically, since I got autoimmune issues and most likely progesterone deficiency. But as soon as I mention something about it at my profile I see the number of friends drop, not to mention all those who I never see at all, making my total of friends dropping from almost 80 in the beginning to 26 at the moment and if I would keep only those who I speak frequently I would end up with not even 10 friends. So what is that about supporting each other?

    So you have made friends that you speak frequently with, yet it the ones that left who you decide to make a thread about? Perhaps if you focus on the positives, rather than stewing over the negatives?
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    I have 2 auto-immune diseases and I haven't lost any of my friends to it so I wouldn't blame it on that unless you are complaining all the time about it, which I could understand. My Hashimoto's is a pain in the keister but it's the approach to this stuff that is what makes people stay or go.. If you are deteremined to promote healing in yourself and overcome it then people tend to support that. If you simply wish to wallow in the suckfest that is your autoimmune disease then most people won't want to stick around to see it. Best of luck in your healing and health, OP.

    :drinker:
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    So you're upset that people want to be MFP friends with other people who are facing similar issues as they are and don't see the benefit of being MFP friends with people who are facing drastically different issues and therefor, drastically different approaches to diet and health? Gosh, you're right, people aren't supportive.

    However, I'm getting the strong impression that it's not your eating style that drives people away but your personal attitude toward different aspects of diet and health. If the tone of this thread is anything to go by, I'd say it's more likely personality differences more than medical or dietary ones that make people decide they don't want to deal with you.

    It's probably worth some introspection on your part if you really want to understand or you can continue in the belief that people are jerks and take no responsibility. The latter is the easier approach to life but choosing the former is probably a lot more fulfilling in the long run. Your choice.
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
    Maybe it's you?

    That's my guess.

    1. People like to have like minded people on their FL, so if you're here for different reasons maybe people dropped you because it wasn't a good match.
    2. People don't like Debbie Downers on their FL, so if you have a whiny feed, you'll get dropped a lot.
    3. If you were actually giving the 60 people that dropped you support, they probably wouldn't have dropped you, regardless of #1 and #2.

    But maybe making whiny threads is the new way of finding supportive friends? I dunno, but if I was one of the 20 people left on your FL I'd be wondering why you're making threads complaining about the people that left instead of, you know, giving me support.

    This man is a very wise, helpful, supportive person.

    His advice is spot on.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    I have 2 auto-immune diseases and I haven't lost any of my friends to it so I wouldn't blame it on that unless you are complaining all the time about it, which I could understand. My Hashimoto's is a pain in the keister but it's the approach to this stuff that is what makes people stay or go.. If you are deteremined to promote healing in yourself and overcome it then people tend to support that. If you simply wish to wallow in the suckfest that is your autoimmune disease then most people won't want to stick around to see it. Best of luck in your healing and health, OP.

    :drinker:

    Oh that's it, we're breaking up...Get off my FL!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Jk...:drinker:
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    I have 2 auto-immune diseases and I haven't lost any of my friends to it so I wouldn't blame it on that unless you are complaining all the time about it, which I could understand. My Hashimoto's is a pain in the keister but it's the approach to this stuff that is what makes people stay or go.. If you are deteremined to promote healing in yourself and overcome it then people tend to support that. If you simply wish to wallow in the suckfest that is your autoimmune disease then most people won't want to stick around to see it. Best of luck in your healing and health, OP.

    :drinker:

    Oh that's it, we're breaking up...Get off my FL!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Jk...:drinker:

    NO!!! *Ties you up* You'll never leave me....
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    Maybe it's you?

    Ah, what I came to say has already been said.

    Carry on then.
  • rowlandsw
    rowlandsw Posts: 1,166 Member
    So, not all of us use MFP to pump up the muscle volume or to lose a great amount of weight. I, for example, use it to get on track with my diet, to improve my health drastically, since I got autoimmune issues and most likely progesterone deficiency. But as soon as I mention something about it at my profile I see the number of friends drop, not to mention all those who I never see at all, making my total of friends dropping from almost 80 in the beginning to 26 at the moment and if I would keep only those who I speak frequently I would end up with not even 10 friends. So what is that about supporting each other?
    Don't take it personally. I've had LOTS of people (right now I have over 42 pages of friends) friend me because I'm a trainer, then drop me when they hear I drink diet soda and eat fast food. And I end up deleting people who go a month without activity (with an except few).

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I'd friend you because you're a trainer who likes fast food and soda lol
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
    If ~75% of your friends have dropped you, maybe, just maybe it's not them? ;)

    ETA: Smilie faces make everyone happy

    ETA2: I clearly didn't even bother to read anything past the OP
  • jimmmer
    jimmmer Posts: 3,515 Member
    Maybe it's you?

    That's my guess.

    1. People like to have like minded people on their FL, so if you're here for different reasons maybe people dropped you because it wasn't a good match.
    2. People don't like Debbie Downers on their FL, so if you have a whiny feed, you'll get dropped a lot.
    3. If you were actually giving the 60 people that dropped you support, they probably wouldn't have dropped you, regardless of #1 and #2.

    But maybe making whiny threads is the new way of finding supportive friends? I dunno, but if I was one of the 20 people left on your FL I'd be wondering why you're making threads complaining about the people that left instead of, you know, giving me support.

    ^yup.

    People come, people go. Can't get your knickers in a twist about it.

    Be good to the people who've decided to stick with you instead of *****ing about everyone else who left.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    OP, let me guess...you added those ~80 friends in a "everyone please add me" thread and not by specifically sending FRs to those with whom you thought you might have something in common or whose posts you enjoyed, right?
  • CaitySins
    CaitySins Posts: 57 Member
    I personally wouldn't be able to keep up with supporting 80 friends myself. Would that not entail sitting and spending ages responding to everyone. Since I've been infrequent on this before for a long time, the friends I added before, justifiably don't bother messaging me any more or deleted me and I'm technically not "new" to go in the Introduce Yourself section xD So currently I have no supporters, but I've still lost some weight ^.^
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
    1. Quality over quantity all day every day. I try to keep my friends list under 30 with QUALITY people, that I care to communicate with

    2. Why is it crazy for people to want to be friends with others that have like goals? Yes, I have friends on my list just because they're funny and awesome, but most of my friends have similar goals to mine, or at least are very serious. I tend to consider friend requests carefully before sending OR accepting.

    3. "MFP is for Meanies" isn't a mantra that ends well in these forums. I get what you're saying, but just look around for like-minded people, don't blast the people that have removed you from their friends list publicly.
  • kethry70
    kethry70 Posts: 404 Member
    OP, let me guess...you added those ~80 friends in a "everyone please add me" thread and not by specifically sending FRs to those with whom you thought you might have something in common or whose posts you enjoyed, right?

    that.

    Add people with whom you have something in common MFP-wise. Preferably more than just age. I recently had someone add me cause we're a similar age. Within days, I determined she eats well below her calorie goal every single day- sometimes half her goal (and her goal is not high). I dropped her from my friends list cause I have no desire to practically starve myself much less watch other people do so. At the end of the day, I'm on MFP because I love food :laugh:
  • smcrae3794
    smcrae3794 Posts: 1
    I don't think you actually get support from this site, or need it, unless you count people saying " Wow, way to go, awesome burn" every time you post a 10 minute workout. For me, I find that doesn't offer any tangible result except that it gets annoying. Find your own support and motivation in YOU, that's the only thing that will actually work.

    Support doesn't need to be active. I wish I had more friends here. I have 2 at the moment, and both of them are inactive now. They say weight loss is more successful if you have 5 or more friends. I think this is because everybody has good days and bad days, and the chances of 6 people having bad days at the same time are small. If you're on your own, bad days can spiral out of control, but if you see that 3 of your friends are having good days, you can push yourself to have a better day. When your friends have a bad day, your success can be encouraging to them. All it takes is people logging everyday. You can see their success and they can see yours, and that's a good spiral to get in on.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    I don't think you actually get support from this site, or need it, unless you count people saying " Wow, way to go, awesome burn" every time you post a 10 minute workout. For me, I find that doesn't offer any tangible result except that it gets annoying. Find your own support and motivation in YOU, that's the only thing that will actually work.

    Support doesn't need to be active. I wish I had more friends here. I have 2 at the moment, and both of them are inactive now. They say weight loss is more successful if you have 5 or more friends. I think this is because everybody has good days and bad days, and the chances of 6 people having bad days at the same time are small. If you're on your own, bad days can spiral out of control, but if you see that 3 of your friends are having good days, you can push yourself to have a better day. When your friends have a bad day, your success can be encouraging to them. All it takes is people logging everyday. You can see their success and they can see yours, and that's a good spiral to get in on.



    That assumes you have the time and inclination ( I have neither) to check on what your friends are doing.

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