I'm close to my goal, but I'm not happy yet

megannoonan · January 2011

My mind is playing tricks with me, I'm 4 lbs away from what I set as my goal but I still see all the jiggly fat and the cellulite on my butt. And now my brain keeps thinking I can go lower, "how low can you go?". According to the BMI calculator 104 is the lowest before being "underweight". Learning that has now become a huge mistake I see the 121 on the scale and 117 doesn't seem so low..."maybe I could go a little lower..."

I started this out worrying about the numbers but thought I learned that the numbers weren't as important as my health and happiness. I am healthy, I don't eat junk food often, it truly is only once in a blue moon, I don't smoke, don't drink often at all and I'm happy. I found great happiness and love in my life... but here I am back to seeing fat and the numbers aren't translating in the mirror. I still see "chubby' Megan, it's like the 20 lbs extra from 2009 are still there.

I need help retraining my brain and backing away from that slippery slope.

kalebsmama07 · January 2011

bump for later

bethvandenberg · January 2011

Maybe instead of setting a lower weight loss goal set a muscle goal and start lifting some weights. Muscle weighs more than fat so you may not go lower per say but will tone up

I think we're all our own worst critics. With that said maybe if you start toning up you'll feel better about how you look. I know that @ 180 with muscle or 180 without is a huge difference for me.

LoveMy3Boys · January 2011

CONGRATS ON ALMOST REACHING YOUR GOAL!!

I don't think there is anything wrong with making a new goal and getting lower. However, maybe rather than focusing on losing you could focus on tightening everything up. I don't know what you have been doing, you very well could be already working on that but I bet some lunges may take care of your issues with your little bootay

Allison128 · January 2011

HOw tall are you?? 104 is pretty low but depending on how tall you are...you could look very sick at the weight. 117lb weight. Maybe you don't need to lose weight, you just need to tone. Try incorporating some more strenth training into your workouts.... that might help alot! Good luck and congrats on accomplishing your goals this far!

pcallahan1976 · January 2011

Just look at the accomplishment as a whole! TWENTY POUNDS! AMAZING! You're right it's not about the numbers, it's about the mental state of mind. Twenty is an outstanding number and 117 is great! Just maintain and if you lose more you lose more; if not, you're accomplished what it is you set out to do. Not many people can say that. You're goal now is then to maintain! Keep up the healthy lifestyle (e.g., lifestyle = eating, exercising, mental, physical, etc.)

Enjoy 2011!

Goal_Seeker_1988 · January 2011

Reach your goal. Don't go lower than it. Maintain your weightloss and work you butt. Try the Brazil butt lift home workout series. If it's cellulite then you wont be able to get rid of it right away. Keep drinkin your water and keep eatin healthy. Sick to it. It will take time but it should eventually "shape up." However, you may want to consider that new costly way they are gettin rid of cellulite with them ray machine things. Idk what they are. But, they have kind of lazer treatment out now that you go to overtime and they shrink it lil by lil then you will have to continue to follow up with it every so often.

smuehlbauer · January 2011

When I got close to my goal I ditched the numbers.
I still weigh once a week but just to make sure that I don't lose any more weight. (even tho my BMI says I can go 10lbs lighter I don't think that I would look healthy)
I now focus on fitness and eating healthy.
I focus on getting tone, lifting weights, getting my cardio in, defining my muscles. And eating healthy, not just counting calories.
My suggestion is not to make a new weight goal, but some fitness goals. Maybe body fat %. Or to just relax and tone and define.
Good luck.
Find the balance.

heathersmilez · January 2011

Women have a tendency to put calorie burning cardio ahead of muscle building and toning. I am guilty of that for sure so perhaps its toning you need to work on in order to feel thin.

tvanderberg · January 2011

I dont think weight loss is the issue. I think you should work on bulding muscle, toning and shaping up.

emmyvera · January 2011

I feel the same way sometimes. We must remember how much we have accomplished and how healthy we are getting. As far as the cellulite, I totally understand that... Overall, I seem in much better shape, but I still have problem areas. Most of us do, I'm sure. We are just being way too hard on ourselves.

Personally, I'm just bumping up my strength training, now that I'm getting smaller...... but I'm not going to worry about the scale so much at this point. I can't. It's too much of a mind game with the weight and muscle.

I'm just going to keep at it and get tone and healthy. That makes me happy! Good Luck! :happy:

superwmn · January 2011

I've struggled with this same issue. I bloged about it:

Since 2007, I realized that being thin would change NOTHING.

You read that correctly. Being thin does not change a thing. Like most people, I had built up 'thin' in my mind into this future magical place where I had no problems, everyone approved of everything I did, I was smart, successful, funny, fabulous, never insecure, and on and on and on.

This isn’t true. When thin happens, it happens in the present. In the present I am still me. I don’t have a perfect or charmed life. I still struggle, get upset, people are still mean to me…all the triggers for abusing food and hating myself are STILL present in my daily life.

Knowing that I’m thin and my life isn’t perfect and recognizing that this doesn’t mean that additional weight loss is required to achieve happiness was a HUGE revelation for me. Happiness and pant size are not related.

Don’t get me wrong. Just like with the joy that is delicious food, there is the joy that is being able to wear the clothes I want, fitting into a certain size, getting into those pants that I haven’t worn in years, and so on. But just like that frappuccino, bag of Doritos or piece of birthday cake, the joy of being thin is fleeting. It’s not enough to make me happy day in and day out hence I do not rely on being thin as my sole source of happiness or self worth.

Bottom line, if I didn’t love myself fat, I wouldn’t love myself thin (and neither will you).

Jody1949 · January 2011

Instead of concentrating on the weight numbers, try measurements instead. Look at how your clothes fit and do toning exercises to stop the jiggles. Power walking or light jogging will help with the love handles and their jiggling. Light weights can tone the arms and legs. I have a Total Gym ($199 at Academy) that not only tones but increases flexibility. You've probably seen the Christie Brinkley, Chuck Norriss infomercials. It really does work. Muscle mass weighs more than fat, but it doesn't jiggle and you will look slimmer and lighter than you actually are.

Jody

fannyanntut · January 2011

start to do things with your body you enjoy, pamper yourself and your brain will start to catch up with your body. I know it sounds a bit 'hippy' but things like self massage, body brushing, bathing, dancing like a loon, Yoga and positive affirmations can help you connect with your new physique and get in touch with how healthy and good you feel x

dichez · January 2011

I totally hear what your going through love that Im thinner hate that my skin is gross! Wieghts help but unfortunatly sagging skin goes with wieght loss. Im torn between surgery or just accepting it!

megannoonan · January 2011

HOw tall are you?? 104 is pretty low but depending on how tall you are...you could look very sick at the weight. 117lb weight. Maybe you don't need to lose weight, you just need to tone. Try incorporating some more strenth training into your workouts.... that might help alot! Good luck and congrats on accomplishing your goals this far!

I agree 104 is dangerously low and I imagine I'll look pretty gross.I don't WANT to go that low but the monster inside of me says if that's the "lowest" point before I can't argue I'm sick why not push it a little and drop to 110.

I battle an eating disorder, and I am really trying to tone up to satisfy the image in the mirror while trying to subdue the monster telling me 121 is still too heavy.

I feel bad because I live with heavy people, (250lbs+) and here I am struggle not to fall into a rabbit hole while they're struggling on the other end of the spectrum. Most days have been ok for me, but this morning I put my jeans on and they were a touch snug around my love handles and my whole world crashed.

Is anyone else like me? Struggling to be healthy and not going too far?

abiglosertoo · January 2011

This is a tough situation to be in. And I have been in it many times before. I have found, however, that if you are not happy with yourself and of who you are, you will never be happy no matter how much weight you lose.

It's one thing to say, "I'm unhappy with the weight I've gained. I'm disappointed in myself so I will lose some weight." But another entirely to say, "I hate myself. I'm fat and ugly and jiggly. I will never be beautiful."

You must accept yourself and learn to love yourself or you will never be happy. Also, try not to compare yourself with other women. Because, to be totally honest, there will always be someone thinner and prettier than you. Especially if you constantly compare yourself.

Me personally, I'm not losing weight because I'm unhappy with myself. I'm losing weight because I love myself so much that I want the outside to reflect the inside. I want to treat my body like a Queen and love it and cherish it.

I hope that helped...a little.

megannoonan · January 2011

Just look at the accomplishment as a whole! TWENTY POUNDS! AMAZING! You're right it's not about the numbers, it's about the mental state of mind. Twenty is an outstanding number and 117 is great! Just maintain and if you lose more you lose more; if not, you're accomplished what it is you set out to do. Not many people can say that. You're goal now is then to maintain! Keep up the healthy lifestyle (e.g., lifestyle = eating, exercising, mental, physical, etc.)

Enjoy 2011!

Thank you!

I think my next tattoo might be the word Maintain somewhere lol. I often forget that maintenance is just as hard as the initial loss

girlruns · January 2011

Wow superwmn, that is one of the best read posts I've seen. Your outlook and ability to express it is inspiring.

Megan--I just recently got to maintaining. I also started to really struggle with the last few pounds. I think that for so long I had something to be critical about in the mirror, that being thin was a shock. What do I pick on when I look in the mirror. What do I shoot for if I don't have a target weight to shoot for anymore? It will take time, but if you work on loving yourself and being proud of what you've accomplished, you'll start to see that the last few pounds really don't make much difference.

I also agree with the other posters in the benefits of strenght training. I feel so much better about my stomach and arms when I've been working them.

Also-try and find something new to acheive-outside of a scale number. Personally, I am training for a marathon. It's tough to get down on yourself when you just ran 10 miles

Finally-congrats on your loss! 20 pounds is awesome and you should be very proud.

Sherri71 · January 2011

The only way to reduce celulite is through toning, strength/muscle training, and lots of water. The numbers don't matter. I agree with another poster, incorporate more strength training and make sure you are drinking enough water. It may take some time to reduce the cellulite, but if you continue with toning, it will eventually be decreased.

tater8589 · January 2011

You look amazing, you are beautiful! I can understand how you feel though. I agree with some above post, you may want to focus on muscle gain and toning now that you are (almost) at your goal. When you have more muscle it burns more fat, plus the toning is what you need to lose the jiggle. Congrats on your weight loss and healthy life style. I hope things continue to go well for you

Edit: Oh, one more thing, You could go get your fat percentage figured. I believe most gyms have a thing called a bod-pod that measures your body mass and fat. You may want to look more at that than the numbers on a regular scale. You don't want to lose to much and cause health issues related to not having any body fat...
Barbie is not real (lol)

jenmcgraw · January 2011

I love the quote you have " you wont eat it if you dont buy it"!! So true:) LOL

(This was at smuehlbauer's post)

smuehlbauer · January 2011

I love the quote you have " you wont eat it if you dont buy it"!! So true:) LOL

(This was at smuehlbauer's post)

Thanks

jkestens63 · January 2011

I have lost 254 lbs and I have 7 lbs to go - and part of me is thinking after that I could do another 10 lbs, amd then anothe. But I'm trying to keep in mind that no matter what, I'm 1000% better off and more healthy than I used to be so the cellulite and & floppy skin (of which there is a lot of both) is just a part of the new me. My husband loves every squishy inch, our "furry" children don't care as long as l walk them every day, and the other important people in my life are just happy I'm here and not in a wheelchair or dead. I try to take their happiness & acceptance and make it my own. Its say to say all these things, its a little harder to internalize and believe in them but I have it written down so I see them every day. I still work hard and I do a lot of toning so I'm in the best shape I can be but I know that if I never lose another inch or ounce, I'm still beautiful, successful, and most important - healthy!

Good luck - and keep coming back on here for support, it really helps.

myofibril · January 2011

I've struggled with this same issue. I bloged about it:

Since 2007, I realized that being thin would change NOTHING.

You read that correctly. Being thin does not change a thing. Like most people, I had built up 'thin' in my mind into this future magical place where I had no problems, everyone approved of everything I did, I was smart, successful, funny, fabulous, never insecure, and on and on and on.

This isn’t true. When thin happens, it happens in the present. In the present I am still me. I don’t have a perfect or charmed life. I still struggle, get upset, people are still mean to me…all the triggers for abusing food and hating myself are STILL present in my daily life.

Knowing that I’m thin and my life isn’t perfect and recognizing that this doesn’t mean that additional weight loss is required to achieve happiness was a HUGE revelation for me. Happiness and pant size are not related.

Don’t get me wrong. Just like with the joy that is delicious food, there is the joy that is being able to wear the clothes I want, fitting into a certain size, getting into those pants that I haven’t worn in years, and so on. But just like that frappuccino, bag of Doritos or piece of birthday cake, the joy of being thin is fleeting. It’s not enough to make me happy day in and day out hence I do not rely on being thin as my sole source of happiness or self worth.

Bottom line, if I didn’t love myself fat, I wouldn’t love myself thin (and neither will you).

Excellent post. You get it.

As for the OP well setting a BF% goal is a good idea. Once you get to say 20% work on putting some muscle on your frame if you want to look "bigger" although that takes a lot of effort. You will probably need to gain about 10lbs of solid muscle to acheive that state given your frame and that is by no means easy.

Lower BF will work well for reducing cellulite as well.

I'm close to my goal, but I'm not happy yet

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