RANT

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Replies

  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    I don't take that much time out of my day to do that for people unless they pay me.

    It's one thing to chat about it- it's another to go out of your way to really devote time and energy to this. IF they want it that bad- they can pay you- then it's not a waste of your time and energy and they are more likely (but not for sure) to stick with it.

    Either way- you don't lose so much out on it.

    Congrats on your loss and your gains!!!

    So sad that you feel that way. I greatly appreciated the time that experienced people took off their valuable training session to help me out, explain machines to me, give me advise of my form.... I'd be happy to give back what I received for free. I'm only asking for honest commitment....

    there is a good saying, "If you're good at what you do, don't do it for free."
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member

    Ahh....I get your point. I make my own competition bikinis, and it's not worth selling any, considering, how much money I would have to ask for, with all the work and crystals involved....
    I may be knowledgeable and experienced in training and fitness, but I'm not certified. I won't give out any training programs or nutrition advise for financial gain at this point. Besides, most gyms will not allow it anyway, unless officially signed in and sharing profit with the gym owner. Which again, is not worth the effort for me, because there are not enough prospect clients in this area to make it worth the investment and upkeep of a trainer certification in the first place.
    As far as having someone 'tagging along' for training, it worked so well for me and this friend that we had others walk up to us, admitting to be afraid to join......lol

    exactly. I know all about those crystals LOL (bellydancers use a lot of swaroski)- people have NO IDEA.

    I think I was mostly reacting to the fact OP took time out of his day to write up stuff for people or really put some thought into it and that was being disregarded.

    it's just different when you really go out of your way and make time to create a product for someone verses just helping with some constructive help.

    and PICTURES!!! I WANT TO SEE PICTURES!!
    do you sew your own bikini's or just mod/alter existing ones? I'm hoping to do a physique comp in the next two years and I was planning on making my own as well- figured it couldn't be any more difficult than a dance costume!!!
  • h7463
    h7463 Posts: 626 Member


    exactly. I know all about those crystals LOL (bellydancers use a lot of swaroski)- people have NO IDEA.

    I think I was mostly reacting to the fact OP took time out of his day to write up stuff for people or really put some thought into it and that was being disregarded.

    it's just different when you really go out of your way and make time to create a product for someone verses just helping with some constructive help.

    and PICTURES!!! I WANT TO SEE PICTURES!!
    do you sew your own bikini's or just mod/alter existing ones? I'm hoping to do a physique comp in the next two years and I was planning on making my own as well- figured it couldn't be any more difficult than a dance costume!!!

    I bought my belly dancer costumes in the Middle East. Only wore them for a photo session, though...wouldn't want to make any of those...they are REALLY too much work....lol
    I guess, pics of the bikinis would be for a different thread.... =)
    Not sure how the private message system works here, but I could send you a pic or two...if you know, please let me know, and I will respond....
    If you want to make your own, and now we are basically back on the topic of the thread, nobody will share a pattern...the business is highly competitive....you will have to make your own, and after this much work, you will become very selfish...hahaha..... Hint for physique comp bikini pattern: Check out ebay for 80s style high cut bikini patterns to modify. I will share my favorite ebay seller for crystal chains and connectors, as well as sewing tips and tricks....you won't be getting my patterns, though.....of course.... =)
  • cantfail
    cantfail Posts: 169 Member
    I AM a personal trainer and you would be surprised how many people pay me and keep paying me (years) and don't listen. The only reason I stick with these people is that I know they won't exercise at all without me there (something is better than nothing) but I know I'm just a rent-a-friend. Very frustrating.
  • loriemn
    loriemn Posts: 292 Member
    most people just ask me what my "secret" is..AKA,which diet pill is working for me,,when I tell them come to MFP and all the info they need is here for free,,I get blank deer in the headlight looks and "I cant do all THAT!!!" so then you dont really want it unless its in pill easy to use form no effort on your part diet..sorry,I tried that for years myself,,didnt work!
  • SinCityFit
    SinCityFit Posts: 96
    I get what you're saying, I lost half my bodyweight (started at 230 lbs at 5'4") and people don't like my answer "diet and exercise" when they ask me how I did it. I have a co-worker who asks me tips all the time and then I see her eating junk all night at work. She spends a lot of time talking to me about special protein this, food combination that, and really making it more complicated that it has to be and asks me in-depth questions about what to eat and not eat, low-carb, etc. I've offered to set her up with a MFP account and have her log everything and then come up with a daily plan of what to eat exactly if she doesn't mind eating the same thing every (I don't, I actually like lack of variety, keeps it simple) and have told her time and time again - reasonable amount of chicken, fish, nuts, eggs, vegetables, fruit, oatmeal. That's all she needs.

    I kinda gave up, you can't do it for people.

    The only choice you really have to make is whether to keep answering questions. I do, no matter how many times I'm asked even by the same person. But I don't get bothered anymore next time they are eating a burger.
  • Spewze72
    Spewze72 Posts: 82 Member
    After seeing me in a recent picture on Facebook a couple of weeks ago, an old friend messaged me to ask me what I was doing to lose weight. So I told her. Last weekend, she asked me again. She's either got a short memory or she thought the second response would be more interesting.

    Another friend was congratulating me on my weight loss at the weekend, and also asked how I was doing it. I showed her MFP on my phone, and she shook her head wryly and said, "Yeah you see, that wouldn't work for me. Because I probably don't hit as much as 1000 calories per day anyway, so it wouldn't work for me."

    I stared stupidly at her, opened my mouth to say something like, "If that's true why do you need to lose any weight?", then changed my mind and almost suggested some kind of detox or juicing plan to spot reduce the imaginary fat on her saddle bags. But I changed the subject instead.

    People are weird, don't ever expect anyone to listen or commit until they are 100% ready. I know I couldn't commit to it for a long time, but I'm here now. :)
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    Good for you for your progress! Well done.

    I help people all the time. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to Scooby and helped people calculate their approximate TDEE. It is very normal to experience what you are experiencing when you help people. Here's my secret: I realized about twenty years ago that if I ever feel resentment towards another person it is because of something I did, not what they did. My life used to be very chaotic, and I didn't need to add to my stress, so I had to change. Now, whenever I give a gift, advice, my time, my work, etc. I do it without expecting anything in return. I don't expect a thank you, I don't expect them to behave as if they have taken my advice and I don't expect them to be in any way beholden to me. I just do it. I do kind deeds for others because I like to for me. As soon as I feel a tad of resentment entering my thoughts, I know I have gone too far and I pull back. Sounds like this is what you have done. Good on ya!

    This completely resonated with me...great advice!

    Actions should not be based off expectations of others. Do what you do because it makes YOU feel good.

    Agreed. Besides, you don't know - that same person may circle back around to your advice some time later when they ARE ready to commit.

    Sometimes the seed you plant germinates immediately.

    Sometimes it just needs to wait for the right conditions ...
  • annie61702
    annie61702 Posts: 120 Member
    People at work ask me all the time how I lost weight. I tell them and a week later I hear them talking about the latest diet they are on. Whatever, if they want to keep doing the same thing and keep gaining and losing the same 10 pounds that is on them. I just keep doing my thing.

    This is so true. I worked with someone last year who would almost hound me asking for details on how I lost weight and changed my body. I would tell her what I did - eat less and exercise more - and she always seemed disappointed that there wasn't some magic, easy way to do it. And then go right on with her "vegan" diet. (I seriously don't know how anyone can be overweight if they are truly vegan, so I suspect other things were being consumed at home.) And she is still the same weight, maybe heavier, now. So, OP, don't spend that much time trying to help someone unless you are a personal trainer and you are getting paid.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    I'm equally as annoyed by people on the message boards who post "Please help, I need motivation, a plan, and friends to kick my *kitten*!" as their first post. Really? You're so lazy that you can't search for topics, read stickies and attempt to learn how to help yourself? How do you expect to be able to give this the commitment it needs?

    Well, for the sake of people who do this, or are thinking of doing this, I feel like I should say, don't knock it if it works! :wink:

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