To Beach or not to Beach that is the question.....

arewethereyet
arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
This weekend I had a breakthrough of sorts. I was laying on the warm sand in my tankini, making sure my stomach wasn't exposed to terrorize the natives.

While looking around I noticed women who were larger than myself in small bikinis. This made me ask myself "What do YOU think of her? What does seeing her in that small bathing suit make you think/feel?"

So each time I saw a woman in a bikini I made a conscious thought process out of it. The amazing thing was I am SO MUCH NICER TO OTHERS THAN I AM MYSELF!!!

"Look at how cute she looks" or "Nice legs" or "Which I had her (ahem) upper body" or "Nice booty" or "Cute suit"

Not once did I think "OMG :noway: "

Yet after almost 5 years of hard work to lose 45 pounds (after setting out to lose 10:wink: ) I still think people are looking at me like I don't belong.

I am now 5'2" and 125 pounds. Folks, that is 10 pounds less than I had ever imagined I could possibly get to again at 53 years old. How come I can be so kind to others, yet lay there covered because I may be inappropriately sized to wear a bikini.

I read a great post awhile back here that said something like "What are the right bodies to wear a bikini?" Someone answered "Do you have a body? Then you can wear a bikini!!" :happy:

A few weeks ago I laid out in the yard and tanned my stomach, so the next step wasn't AS horrible as it could have been.

I had to go put money in the meter because I was enjoying the beach so much I had to stay a while longer. On the way is "Wings" a tourist trap with overpriced bathing suits. As I approached the wall of bikinis, I veered towards the tank top types. At this point a sales woman, not much younger than me but with the same attitude (if that makes sense) approached me and asked why I like that type, why not try the 2 pc. :noway: I am too fat I exclaimed, but I really want to try. Will you tell me the truth?

She gave the suit she thought I would look good in.

:love: I loved it, but still leery of walking out. As I did so there was a MAN there and not just any man, one that was 20 years younger. I was mortified!! He smiled and said "Nice!" (I almost died) I asked him if he thought I really could get away with wearing this on the beach and he laughed. "Of course, it looks good. Nice legs :wink: "

The sales girl returned and clapped her hands "LOVE IT!"

We fiddled around with a few other suits, but I bought the one she had selected.

I. Bought. A. Bikini. :huh:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Wore it out of the store straight to the beach :laugh: Didn't want to lose my nerve, ya know.

Oh and I didn't die, or burst into flames.

So my question is to anyone who may read this "What is holding you back from something you really want to do? Are you just too hard on yourself?"

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Replies

  • divainsneakers
    divainsneakers Posts: 405 Member
    Very liberating! Great story.
  • d0v3r13
    d0v3r13 Posts: 61 Member
    this is fantastic! good for you! i'm not there yet, but i have been there in the past and i know what you are talking about. i finally made the jump to a smaller pants size and feeling confident about that was fantastic. its funny how you can lock yourself up in your old clothes because it feels safer there. to make the transition to actually celebrating your body is a little harder than we tend to believe it will be.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    thank you divain!

    ileen, WOOT for the smaller pants size! Bit by bit, it changes!


    I decided if the people on the beach saw me, then my MFP friends should too. LOL :tongue: so I uploaded pictures (with a small push from a friend) :glasses:
  • you look amazing
  • AlysonG2
    AlysonG2 Posts: 713 Member
    You really look great in it! I hope you learn to love it!
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
    fabulous story & pictures :drinker:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Alyson, good point! I hope I learn to 'accept' it. Loving it, IDK if that will ever happen. But to just walk out there with no thought would be awesome!
  • babyj0
    babyj0 Posts: 531 Member
    What an inspiration! I have yet to get to that point. It has been a very slow process for me...
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,910 Member
    I am SO MUCH NICER TO OTHERS THAN I AM MYSELF!!!


    Me too! And you definitely can get away with that bikini!
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    What an inspiration! I have yet to get to that point. It has been a very slow process for me...

    I lost 35 and gained back 20 during my divorce. This time I kept losing, never thinking I would hit under my goal weight. What I didn't expect is that 10 lbs lighter than I ever anticipated, I still cant look in the mirror and like what I see.

    Saturday was an epiphany for me. I realized the time is NOW. We are not promised tomorrow.

    We work so hard to increase our health and to look better, but then don't enjoy it? It just hit me really hard.

    I STILL cant believe I posted the pix :huh:
  • rdkstar
    rdkstar Posts: 260 Member
    Wow! You look great. I would've guess that your much younger than 50's. I got the same attitude as you judge myself too hard. Need to try and change that
  • paulawatkins1974
    paulawatkins1974 Posts: 720 Member
    You look great!
  • You look fabulous! Strut the beach!
  • tanyoshka
    tanyoshka Posts: 50 Member
    P.S. You absolutely CAN pull that off!
  • Jelaan
    Jelaan Posts: 815 Member
    You look great! Wear that bikini with pride!
  • sun_fish
    sun_fish Posts: 864 Member
    Such an inspiring story! Isn't it interesting how we think others will judge us, when it is actually in our own head.

    You rocked that bikini! :flowerforyou:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Wow! You look great. I would've guess that your much younger than 50's. I got the same attitude as you judge myself too hard. Need to try and change that

    Thank you! I seem to forget that often myself. LOL
  • RedHotHunter
    RedHotHunter Posts: 560 Member
    Great story and something for us all to remember.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,322 Member
    My wife recommends string bikinis because you can adjust it EXACTLY as you want.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Thanks again, everyone.

    It is amazing to me that I think others have nothing else to think about but whether I should wear a bikini! LOL