Motherhood & Balance

cc_campbell81 · January 2011

To the other moms out there, how do you maintain balance and fit things in? Everyday I feel like there just isn't enough time and I am neglecting someone or something. I work full time, I am married, we have a 2 yr old, and I am a student working on a nursing degree. Here's my average schedule:

5:40 wake up and get myself and my daughter ready
6:15 leave the house to drop off daughter at daycare
7:00-4:00 work
4:30 pick up daughter
5:00-7:00 fit in exercise, play with daughter, make dinner, eat dinner,
7:00 get daughter ready for bed (bath, quiet time, stories, etc)
8:00-8:30 daughter falls asleep
8:30-10:30 housework, get meals ready for next day, shower, spend time with husband, homework, etc

I am so exhaused at the end of the day I don't want to move. I take my lunch to work and study during my lunchtime. I make dinners that have leftovers. I often let laundry or other housework go in order to have more time with my family. I just feel like I always have to choose between things like sleep & spending time with my husband or exercising and time with my daughter. Everytime I see the laundry pile or a bathroom that needs to be cleaned I am reminded at how little I am actually getting done. I am just curious how others find a balance.

loriellen67 · January 2011

I remember those days, it is a tough time, but a great time as well. Pace yourself, accept help, and make some time for yourself and your spouse. They grow up so fast and are gone in a flash.

cheshirequeen · January 2011

i work on weekends and also have a 2 year old and hubby. congrats on going to school. i am lucky i have more time. sometimes though all the stuff i have to do doing the day piles up to a lot as well. cooking meals for 2 weeks worth, shopping, taking care of 9 animals, a 2 year old, laundry dishes, sick dog and sick cat(very old), clean both our rooms, etc. yours sounds so much harder, but remember put yourself first. have hubby take out the little one for like an hour or so so you get some time to yourself. hubby does that even if it is taking him to take back blockbuster movies and mail some letter. unfortuneately thats what a lot of mothers do, put everybody first and them last. im working on that part. good luck to you and go ahead and friend me.

NoAdditives · January 2011

Is there any way you can work less? I'm a stay at home mom and I have trouble getting everything done and I certainly don't get enough sleep!

butterfly1210 · January 2011

Wow, I'm exhausted just reading your schedule. I don't think you should feel guilty at all for letting laundry pile up or the house getting messy... you apparently get quite a lot done in your day so give yourself a break. I'm a stay at home mom and I still let the laundry pile up sometimes... that's just life. Spending time with your husband and child and taking a little time for yourself is what makes you a better person. Accept some help if it's out there and remember these days will pass and before you know it your 2 year old will be in school and you'll be out of school and on to a whole other chapter of your life. Keep up the good work!

LoriLou67 · January 2011

Not sure how much help I am going to be, because I struggle with balance as well. I work full-time from home, married, and we have a 4-year-old son, and an 11-month-old son.

Three of the biggest pieces of advice I have received are: 1) Do not feel guilty because children are learning to entertain themselves. 2) The entire house does not need to be cleaned in one day. Make a weekly schedule - Monday laundry, Tuesday bathrooms and floors, etc. This way a household chore only takes 30-45 minutes. 3) Take time for you, even if it is only 30 minutes to walk, do a partial DVD workout, bike, whatever.

I know that it is hard to carve out time for everything and it does get overwhelming. I applaud what you are doing - remember to breathe, you will be fine!

melodyg · January 2011

Honestly... when I was at that point I *didn't*... which is why I ended up here! When I was working ft and in school or when I was working more than full time with a preschooler at home (I've never done all three) I constantly felt like I was being pulled in a million directions and not doing anything well. I did start to learn that, as hard as it is, finding time just for ME did help me do a better job of helping everyone else.

Looking at your schedule... I would be using the crockpot for supper A LOT or cooking something that I could just throw together and let cook in the oven for 45 minutes to an hour (chicken and rice or a casserole that I'd made and froze over the weekend). I'd use the time it was cooking (or the time saved from letting the crockpot do the work) to spend some time with your daughter and get some exercise in. And I would be getting your husband to be doing as much as he possibly can, assuming that he is not doing the double job of working FT AND going to school too.

I would also do as much as you can on the weekends -- some meal prep. washing clothes, and definitely setting aside a block of time for family time!

ivyjbres · January 2011

I keep a "To Do Notebook" (Not a list, I need more than one sheet of paper!). Dishes and laundry never get crossed off, cause there's always more to do, but I just work my way down the list. Its never all done, but that's why I keep it in a notebook. Wherever I stopped the night before is where I pick up in the morning. And when I get to the end of a page, I copy down everything I haven't crossed off yet onto the next page.

I don't know if this works for anybody else, but it works for me in my situation (full time job, full course load, disabled hubby and special needs 3 y/o) I have brain damage, so I tend to forget the little things if I don't write them down; also, I don't have a TV, I'm ADD and find it too distracting.

cc_campbell81 · January 2011

Not sure how much help I am going to be, because I struggle with balance as well. I work full-time from home, married, and we have a 4-year-old son, and an 11-month-old son.

Three of the biggest pieces of advice I have received are: 1) Do not feel guilty because children are learning to entertain themselves. 2) The entire house does not need to be cleaned in one day. Make a weekly schedule - Monday laundry, Tuesday bathrooms and floors, etc. This way a household chore only takes 30-45 minutes. 3) Take time for you, even if it is only 30 minutes to walk, do a partial DVD workout, bike, whatever.

I know that it is hard to carve out time for everything and it does get overwhelming. I applaud what you are doing - remember to breathe, you will be fine!

The idea of doing a weekly schedule is a good idea. Thanks.

cc_campbell81 · January 2011

Thanks for all of the support and comments. I think sometimes just hearing not to feel guilty and other people have the same stress is helpful.

mrsewert · January 2011

I hear ya...Mother of three.

I work full-time and do in-home parties on Friday & Saturday nights.

I do all my housework on the weekend. Saturday mornings as a family we do the sweeping, vacuuming, laundry, bathrooms, bedrooms, etc.

I will typically workout while supper is in the oven.

Then I have from 7-8pm to help my kids with homework, play a game, or do whatever!

8pm kids in bed.

8-9pm is Hubby Time, Me Time, or I make phone calls/emails for my business.

My husband is super helpful with the kids and other household duties. It also helps that my kids are now older 4-5-8 so they are pretty self sufficient it gets easier I promise.

cc_campbell81 · January 2011

Everyone has helpful comments. Thanks

Motherhood & Balance

Replies

Categories