Running Envy
brg020788
Posts: 18 Member
I recently had a major knee surgery and am unable to run. My co-worker is into running and that is great. But what do I do when that is ALL he talks about? He doesn't just mention his runs, he boasts about them. I am happy for him and proud of his accomplishments as he is someone who lost half of his bodyweight.... but can't he just SHUT UP? Am I wrong to think of him as being insensitive to the fact that running was my lifeline and I am unable to run indefinitely?!
How do I get around this without being a brat?
How do I get around this without being a brat?
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Replies
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I don't think it's possible to ask him to stop being proud of his accomplishments without sounding like a brat. I'm sorry you are out for now, but he isn't.
I'm sure when you were up and going, you were talking about it.. maybe someone in the office wanted to run but couldn't and was dying to tell you to shut it.
It's almost like not being allowed to eat sweets because your office-mate is diabetic.
Sorry!0 -
Afraid there doesn't seem to be an easy answer. Counter his brags with brags about your own achievements, perhaps?0
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take a gun to work and clean it in front of him .....0
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You have your running (or lack of it at the moment) and he has his running. They are two separate things. Let him shine in his glory. You'll get back to it. I had a 9 month hiatus from exercise due to illness, brain surgery and recovery. I REALLY missed lifting and running, but as soon as I was cleared I got right back into it and haven't stopped.
You create your own happiness, don't let your envy of someone else's current success bring you down. Let it fuel you to get back at it as soon as your doctor gives you the go ahead.0 -
You're being a brat.0
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I can sympathize with you - I'm down with an injury right now and haven't been able to run in about six weeks. Sometimes it's hard to log into MFP and see all my friends logging their runs and talking about their races when I've had to keep scratching races back off my calendar. But I AM proud of them and I AM happy for them and I know that they have really worked for this and deserve to have great runs. I'm not going to take my feelings of "it's not fair!" out on them...because when I'm ready to start running again I know that they'll be there liking my activities and telling me great job at races. Until then, just focus on healing and you'll be back running before you know it, and then you can drive him nuts with all your running talk. :laugh:0
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does he know it upsets you so much that he is proud of his running and likes to talk about it with his colleagues? presumably until you couldnt run you were a willing participant in such conversations?0
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You just have to be happy for him.
I just read through a whole thread about push-ups. This is my issue. I have been able to do push-ups all my life, even when I was heavy and pregnant. Now I've been limited to doing wall push-ups and sometimes countertop push-ups. FML:(
On the other hand, if this is all I have to complain about, then I'm pretty lucky!0 -
You could maybe point out that while you're impressed and happy for him it's making you miss running and getting you down. Like you don't have to say tone it down, but maybe pointing out that it's making you upset would cause him to tone it down while in front of you0
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Not much sympathy here, is there?
It might be in the future that you'll look back and think you're a brat. It might have been in the past that others felt you bragging was insensitive. But we live in the present, and in that present you are missing running and he is reminding you of that. I don't think it would be at all unreasonable to simply have a word with your colleague and invite him to think about your feelings. You comment that running was your lifeline; tell him this. No-one would be insensitive around someone who had suffered a major loss, why should this be any different just because it's less obvious or visible.
Unless there's a sub-text I'm missing he'd probably understand: running is important to both of you, he should understand what it's like to have that taken from you.0 -
I'm another one who's out injured at the minute too.
Instead of moping on the sidelines, or sticking my fingers in my ears going "I dont want to hear!" I've got very involved in the marshalling/ volunteering/ timekeeping etc side of things. Those roles are often undervalued, but they help all those other runners achieve their goals.
I like to think there's a running community, with a supportive spirit, through good times and bad.0 -
Maybe print out a funny meme mocking his accomplishments. As I always say, "Nothing is too harsh if it's funny."
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I recently had a major knee surgery and am unable to run. My co-worker is into running and that is great. But what do I do when that is ALL he talks about? He doesn't just mention his runs, he boasts about them. I am happy for him and proud of his accomplishments as he is someone who lost half of his bodyweight.... but can't he just SHUT UP? Am I wrong to think of him as being insensitive to the fact that running was my lifeline and I am unable to run indefinitely?!
How do I get around this without being a brat?
try and change the topic and talk about somthing totally unrelated.0 -
I was a runner until an injury forced me to quit for good 3 years ago. And I still miss it.
Everyone gets tired of hearing runners talk. When I was still running my husband would sometimes decline to join us when my running friends were getting together (and not running) just because he wasn't interested in the conversation.
At this point I think you just have to be polite and listen - you'll luckily be on the other side of the conversation before long and boring others!0 -
I am a believer in honesty I would tell him that you think his accomplishments are amazing and you are proud or whatever but then id say but I find it hard when you talk about running as a runner who is injured it makes me feel very down. you wont sound like a brat0
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I recently had a major knee surgery and am unable to run. My co-worker is into running and that is great. But what do I do when that is ALL he talks about? He doesn't just mention his runs, he boasts about them. I am happy for him and proud of his accomplishments as he is someone who lost half of his bodyweight.... but can't he just SHUT UP? Am I wrong to think of him as being insensitive to the fact that running was my lifeline and I am unable to run indefinitely?!
How do I get around this without being a brat?
the bolded statement tells me that this has NOTHING to do with him. you're mad b/c you've lost the ability to do something you love. you're in mourning. this is a normal response to that, it's one of the stages of grief. but that doesn't mean that your co-worker is in the wrong.
work with your PT to find something that you can love just as much. maybe biking, it's wind in your hair, you alone in your head time outside. maybe swimming, b/c you can block out everything around you. maybe weights, taking back control of your body. but there is going to be another outlet.
it just sucks right now and i'm so sorry.0 -
Raspberry
I cant do push ups pregnant or not and im envious x0 -
I recently had a major knee surgery and am unable to run. My co-worker is into running and that is great. But what do I do when that is ALL he talks about? He doesn't just mention his runs, he boasts about them. I am happy for him and proud of his accomplishments as he is someone who lost half of his bodyweight.... but can't he just SHUT UP? Am I wrong to think of him as being insensitive to the fact that running was my lifeline and I am unable to run indefinitely?!
How do I get around this without being a brat?
I can relate. I used to run and I loved it! Since back surgery, running is no more. I used to feel bitter when I would see friends post their running pictures on FB or I would see friends running and go to their races. It really hurt.
How did I get over it? Fake it til you make it. Smile and be happy for them even though it hurt so much to know that I couldn't run anymore. Eventually, I became truly happy for them.0 -
I've struggled with infertility for over three years now, including four miscarriages. There are lots of people in my life who know how much my husband and I have gone through and how much we want a baby. They still talk about their children or their pregnant relatives, show me pictures of their ultrasounds or baby pictures, talk about their pregnancies, etc. My sister and a friend of ours were both pregnant at the same time last year, and when we'd all get together they'd talk about their symptoms and even complain about being pregnant sometimes. I've never asked anyone to stop talking about it. Some days I'm more emotional than others and I have to go to the restroom and shed a tear or two and then go back to whatever I was doing, and some days I'm capable of real happiness for them. If I can suck it up and let people talk about their pregnancies, babies, children, etc while going through multiple miscarriages and years of infertility, surely it's possible for you to listen to someone talk about running without asking him to stop. I'm sorry to hear about your injury, but I'd suggest finding something else you can do that will bring you a feeling of pride or accomplishment so that you can share your successes and contribute to the conversation instead of just feeling sorry for yourself. Best of luck.0
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I've got a sprained ankle that's killing any chance I have to run right now, I completely get where you are coming from, but you need to just let it go and relax and enjoy what you can.0
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Raspberry
I cant do push ups pregnant or not and im envious x
Thank you:)0 -
Go to your HAPPY place when this person is talking. Also.... do you have a nice set of earphones that you can wear for long periods of time when you DO NOT WANT TO BE DISTURBED? That might help this person realize you are NOT LISTENING, and have other interests.
Be kind... but be un-interested.
Its ok to detach from the convo if its one sided. ya know? Change the subject when it comes up!!!!! Mention that there is SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN RUNNING, RUNNING.... RUNNING. :laugh:
:flowerforyou:
The person might think they're SOMEHOW entertaining and HELPING you since you aren't running these days.... or they might be clueless to the fact that you do not wish to hear all their info.
God bless you.... wish I could help you.
(((HUGGZZ)))0 -
I was hit from behind by a car while doing a charity century ride (mile 33) on the 3rd of May and it's still going to be a few weeks until I can work out. Coincidentally while being checked out for the accident they found I had a cracked spine and 2 slipped discs (pre-existing, I've had symptoms for years, but it's mostly every 3-4 months I'll wake up and be in so much pain I have to wait a few minutes and then get up and when I do core exercises sometimes I have to stop and modify, but I did an Ironman so it really doesn't stop me from anything; I'm 36). The doctor was actually surprised I had never seen anyone else about this before. And mom mentioned when she was younger they suggested back surgery and she never got it and it's genetic so who knows if I'll ever need it. Only if the pain gets too bad. But it seems that I'll still be able to run but I have questions about it now.
But through these 6-almost 7 weeks of bed rest (for two weeks I stayed in bed and after that I go to work and sit in a chair and then go lay in bed the rest of the time, and the pain is 24/7... just wearing clothes hurts, I have a hematoma on the right backside), I have stayed on Facebook and I love to see other people work out. It just reminds I'll be back there someday
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Running is all I talk about. And snowboarding. I don't blame him. Running is the *kitten*! Been doing it 6 years now.
I had my 2nd spine fusion for scoliosis 8 weeks ago. I'll be back running in 2 months. Next race is November. So stoked to resume racing again.
Back feels perfect!0 -
SinCity, wishing you a good recovery, I admire your spirit.0
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QFTYou're being a brat.0 -
SinCity, wishing you a good recovery, I admire your spirit.
Thanks The doctor actually told me I shouldn't run ever again and I went to Facebook contemplating a life without running and came to the conclusion that I would miss it dearly but I could live a life with just Spin and BodyPump (he said ride to my heart's content). Then through Facebook I heard about people having stuff fused and still running and it gave me hope. And I didn't even go to the doctor for the back pain! And it's such a small intrusion in my life that's not even an issue now so I'll just keep doing what I've been doing for years.
Starting eating too much and I gained 12 lbs
And got all flabby, I was fit and lean 7 weeks ago sigh This is gonna suck when I get restarted! Started back on the eating well bandwagon this week to at least stop the piling on until I can pile off (the more I work out the less hungry I get, so if I work out the lbs just melt right off). 0 -
We went through this when my husband was injured. I stopped talking to him about my runs because I felt bad that he couldn't run, but I also felt depressed about not being able to talk to him about something we both love to do and something that was such a big part of my life. I found that runners love to talk about running, and I didn't realize how much talking about it improved me until I had to keep quiet. Having experienced this, I can see why your coworker wants to continue to talk to you about this sport you both share so much knowledge in.
I know my husband can no longer play soccer/futbol, but I can assure you (esp this time of year) he still loves to talk about it. He still has that love of the sport. maybe your coworker thinks you feel this way about running, too.0 -
I'm another one who's out injured at the minute too.
Instead of moping on the sidelines, or sticking my fingers in my ears going "I dont want to hear!" I've got very involved in the marshalling/ volunteering/ timekeeping etc side of things. Those roles are often undervalued, but they help all those other runners achieve their goals.
I like to think there's a running community, with a supportive spirit, through good times and bad.
This.
(Set a goal for an activity that you can manage while you heel.)0 -
Stop talking to him0
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