This weekend I had a breakthrough of sorts. I was laying on the warm sand in my tankini, making sure my stomach wasn't exposed to terrorize the natives.
While looking around I noticed women who were larger than myself in small bikinis. This made me ask myself "What do YOU think of her? What does seeing her in that small bathing suit make you think/feel?"
So each time I saw a woman in a bikini I made a conscious thought process out of it. The amazing thing was I am SO MUCH NICER TO OTHERS THAN I AM MYSELF!!!
"Look at how cute she looks" or "Nice legs" or "Which I had her (ahem) upper body" or "Nice booty" or "Cute suit"
Not once did I think "OMG
:noway: "
Yet after almost 5 years of hard work to lose 45 pounds (after setting out to lose 10
) I still think people are looking at me like I don't belong.
I am now 5'2" and 125 pounds. Folks, that is 10 pounds less than I had ever imagined I could possibly get to again at 53 years old. How come I can be so kind to others, yet lay there covered because I may be inappropriately sized to wear a bikini.
I read a great post awhile back here that said something like "What are the right bodies to wear a bikini?" Someone answered "Do you have a body? Then you can wear a bikini!!"
:happy:
A few weeks ago I laid out in the yard and tanned my stomach, so the next step wasn't AS horrible as it could have been.
I had to go put money in the meter because I was enjoying the beach so much I had to stay a while longer. On the way is "Wings" a tourist trap with overpriced bathing suits. As I approached the wall of bikinis, I veered towards the tank top types. At this point a sales woman, not much younger than me but with the same attitude (if that makes sense) approached me and asked why I like that type, why not try the 2 pc.
:noway: I am too fat I exclaimed, but I really want to try. Will you tell me the truth?
She gave the suit she thought I would look good in.
I loved it, but still leery of walking out. As I did so there was a MAN there and not just any man, one that was 20 years younger. I was mortified!! He smiled and said "Nice!" (I almost died) I asked him if he thought I really could get away with wearing this on the beach and he laughed. "Of course, it looks good. Nice legs
"
The sales girl returned and clapped her hands "LOVE IT!"
We fiddled around with a few other suits, but I bought the one she had selected.
I. Bought. A. Bikini.
:huh:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Wore it out of the store straight to the beach
:laugh: Didn't want to lose my nerve, ya know.
Oh and I didn't die, or burst into flames.
So my question is to anyone who may read this "What is holding you back from something you really want to do? Are you just too hard on yourself?"
