AN recovery! Eating healthily?

tumsbums
tumsbums Posts: 32 Member
in Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
Hello! :smile: , I'm 19 and currently trying to recover from an eating disorder. I seem to be only maintaining my weight at the moment, and I really want to start increasing. BUT Something that really terrifies me is eating unhealthy foods. I get really paranoid and have really strict guidlines (most of which are probably from my ED :brokenheart: ) I get extremely scared, especially at this time of night. The main things I just can't stop thinking about

am I eating too much dairy?
too many grain foods and carbs?
too much sugar??

Am I being paranoid and these thoughts are caused by the ED, or am I not eating healthily at all?

p.s Sometimes I add extra bed time snacks etc in throughout the day, so I haven't eaten all of my snacks together haha.

Replies

  • acorsaut89
    acorsaut89 Posts: 1,147 Member
    When you say you're in recovery, is this self decided or have you seen a doctor/RD regarding this ED?

    The only reason I ask is because if you've seen an RD or a doctor then he or she will be able to help you figure out how to starting introducing foods with higher caloric values into your diet.

    In the mean time, if you like avocados (I personally don't) then eating these is a great way to increase calories without eating junk food. Nuts and certain oils can also do this too!

    Good luck!
  • F00LofaT00K
    F00LofaT00K Posts: 688 Member
    If you haven't realized this yet, EDs are not so much about weight as they are about control. All of your guidelines give you very specific control over yourself via your body/weight. To trluy recover, you will have to be willing to set aside all of your "guidelines" and learn ways to give up control over yourself. You will have to find ways to accept eating "unhealthily." If you aren't seeing a professional with experience in EDs, I strongly suggest you do so. Reaching a healthy weight =/= recovery if the preoccupation with food/weight/body shape is still in your head. I suffered from anorexia with bulimic tendencies when I was a teen and it took me until after I thought I was "recovered" to realize that the distorted thoughts surrounding food are still there. I was a healthy weight, but mentally. . . I was in the same spot. Eating disorders are a lot more mentally/emotionally in depth than just having a low body weight and not eating. Sometimes it's difficult to damn near impossible for the individuals with the illness to realize this.

    ETA: Try to find somebody who doesn't give you a list of foods to avoid. A lot of psychiatrists/psychologists will try to keep those with EDs away from high calorie, "unhealthy" foods because they worry that that patient will feel too bad about it and refuse to eat to balance out the "extra" calories. Find somebody who advocates a MINIMUM calorie meal plan that allows room for you to make your own choices about what foods you eat. Sticking to a very strict, specific meal plan with exact foods and calories just feeds the thought process of control. It's important to find a way to let go and just exist without constant vigilance.

    ETA (again): Please keep in mind that I am not a professional with extensive knowledge about EDs. This is just based on information I have researched on my own in combination with my personal experiences. I HIGHLY advise you to seek professional help before taking anything, anybody online says for granted. Even if you want to try to do recovery on your own, please at least consult a professional for some ideas on where to start.
  • nancy10272004
    nancy10272004 Posts: 277 Member
    Hello! :smile: , I'm 19 and currently trying to recover from an eating disorder. I seem to be only maintaining my weight at the moment, and I really want to start increasing. BUT Something that really terrifies me is eating unhealthy foods. I get really paranoid and have really strict guidlines (most of which are probably from my ED :brokenheart: ) I get extremely scared, especially at this time of night. The main things I just can't stop thinking about

    am I eating too much dairy?
    too many grain foods and carbs?
    too much sugar??

    Am I being paranoid and these thoughts are caused by the ED, or am I not eating healthily at all?

    p.s Sometimes I add extra bed time snacks etc in throughout the day, so I haven't eaten all of my snacks together haha.

    As someone who is in recovery for an ED, I strongly suggest that you see someone to help you get through this. The part I bolded tells me that your eating and thought patterns are still disordered. The phrase "strict guidelines" is what worries me the most because, as it's already been said here, EDs are about control.

    I'm glad that you you want to get better but this site can only help you a tiny bit.
  • Megmo127
    Megmo127 Posts: 76 Member
    Read this blog; life changing, truly:

    http://the****itdiet.com/blog

    UGH edit - yes, it is actually *kitten* - MFP blocked it out :( Sorry!!!
  • Jamal_Guildford
    Jamal_Guildford Posts: 214 Member
    Hello! :smile: , I'm 19 and currently trying to recover from an eating disorder. I seem to be only maintaining my weight at the moment, and I really want to start increasing. BUT Something that really terrifies me is eating unhealthy foods. I get really paranoid and have really strict guidlines (most of which are probably from my ED :brokenheart: ) I get extremely scared, especially at this time of night. The main things I just can't stop thinking about

    am I eating too much dairy?
    too many grain foods and carbs?
    too much sugar??

    Am I being paranoid and these thoughts are caused by the ED, or am I not eating healthily at all?

    p.s Sometimes I add extra bed time snacks etc in throughout the day, so I haven't eaten all of my snacks together haha.

    It seems you still have a problem with the food. Eating unhealthy food time to time is not a problem, you can have one treat a day (e.g. chocolate), it will not kill you. Put the things into perspective, unhealthy food is not like drug...
  • tumsbums
    tumsbums Posts: 32 Member
    Thankyou for the replies! Yes, I have been diagnosed, and have been given medical help. In good days I do have trust in the guidlines they set me for eating, but on bad days I can cave into all the doubts and rules about food :( the madness roller coaster of recovery! haha
  • sharyntg
    sharyntg Posts: 33
    Congrats to you on plans to be healthy! I suffered from an ED for ten years, I'm 42. If you ever need an ear I'm here you can friend me. It's a delicate balance and like you, to this day, i get scared of eating things like chocolate , even though I KNOW it's only about calories and nothing else.
  • melimomTARDIS
    melimomTARDIS Posts: 1,941 Member
    keep on keepin on. I wouldnt worry too much about dairy or grains, my diet is based on them. And I am a fit, healthy person. Sometimes I will drink a glass of skim milk with dinner/between meals to up my calories. I am in maintainance, and never had a restrictive eating disorder. I however have my own issues with food.

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