Ladies- Think About It

xiamjackie
xiamjackie Posts: 611 Member
in Motivation and Support
This one is for the LAAADIIESSSSS *in a really cheesey club DJ voice*. :glasses:



I wanted to throw this out there and hopefully it'll make one woman think about it today. (This could be applied to men too, but I'm going to address da females).

Chances are if you are a woman, you have some sort of little girl looking up to you. Daughter, neice, sister, cousin, maybe you work at a day care, a school, a summer camp, etc. If you do have ANY sort of younger girl looking up to you, please think about how you talk about yourself and others in front of her.

My mom is the loveliest. She is so caring, loving, wonderful. However, I would also say she is part of the reason I had an eating disorder in my late teens/ early 20s.

All growing up, I remember my mom criticizing herself. She wouldn't do anything crazy like refuse to eat or wear baggy stuff all the time, but she did typical things that a lot of women do. Made comments about how she couldn't wear a bathing suit because of her chubby tummy. Would pinch her thighs and talk about how she had thunder thighs. Mention after a birthday party that she'd have to exercise the next day to burn off the cake. Mention she gained 10 pounds and maybe she should try weight watchers or that lemon cleanse diet. Not too horrific right? We all do this.

However, think about how impressionable this is on a young girl. If their role model, the number one woman in their life, is looking at herself this way and thinking she's fat, well then they must be fat too right? It's a pattern. Girls start to wonder what it even means to be "fat". Are they fat? Do they have big thighs? Maybe they should start eating salads too and start exercising to burn off calories. Eating healthy and exercise are never negative things, but thinking you're fat when you're 6, 10, 12 years old and thinking you need to be on a diet is a negative thing.

I suggest promoting self-love and love-talk to YOURSELF to begin with. Would you ever tell your best friend she has chubby thighs, she's fat, she's disgusting, she has a tire around her waist or she better go for a run tomorrow to burn off that dinner you just ate? Would you tell your daughter that? I wouldn't. So why tell yourself that? The words we say around little ears who we don't think are listening are actually making a big impact. The way we see ourselves is the way our daughters will begin to see themselves. I don't have children yet, but I would never want to be responsible for any negative feelings my future daughter would have toward herself.

Just think about it. You are fully capable of making a difference.

This commercial doesn't fully address how I feel but it does show how startling and shocking the words we say to ourselves every day can actually sound when you say them out loud.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/special-k-filled-a-clothing-store-with-the-mean-comments-wom

Replies

  • kristen49233
    kristen49233 Posts: 385 Member
    This is so true and thank you for posting! My daughter is now 24, but I wished I had thought about this when she was younger. When she was growing up I tried not to say the "diet" word in front of her---I would always say I was trying to eat healthier. But...I was always discounting myself and my body in front of her. If I could have one life do-over, it would be that I could go back and change that!! She struggles with the same now.
  • candidcastaway
    candidcastaway Posts: 11 Member
    My mom's weight fluctuated a ton growing up. Before she had my brother and I, she was probably about 120 pounds and very fit. Somewhere between then and now she let herself go. Growing up, she would always say things like: "I can't wear this because of my weight" or "There's no point in buying new clothes because I'm too fat" or "I can't wear jeans because of my weight." The list could go on. I remember being a teenager, and thinking "I don't want to end up like that." There were points when my mom was at a healthy weight and still talked crap about her body. Aside from being bullied in school (even when I was a size 0, I got called fat), I think that her bad mouthing herself played a huge role in my eating disorder. Food was the enemy, and everything was virtually impossible with extra weight on you; or, that's what she seemed to imply. While she never, not once, told me that I was fat, or negatively talked about my body, those things that she said about herself and about clothes and food really stuck with me. I didn't want to feel like she felt, so I took extreme measures and I'm still recovering from it.

    You're absolutely right. Talk positively about yourself and about food, because you never know who could be listening.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    When I was 12, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. Luckily, she only needed surgery. After the surgery, her hormones were all over the place (it was a lady bit cancer), and she put on some weight.

    I remember, being so scared, almost constantly that she was going to die. The only thing I ever heard her talk about was how fat she had become after the surgery. I thought she was the most beautiful, perfect, amazing women ever - and if she was fat and I wanted to be just like her - what did that say about me?

    This had a major, long lasting impact on me. She is an absolutely amazing mother, and I know her issues with weight stem from her OWN mother - it's a cycle that I'm working so hard to break. I do fail and make comments about my belly, or things like that. But I'm trying.

    Anyway OP, I totally agree. We need to be really careful about how we talk and think - because despite our best intentions, kids do pick up on those things and it can really change the way they feel about themselves.
  • AtmaKing
    AtmaKing Posts: 145 Member
    This isn't for just women its for both.

    This isn’t just about health either. This could go for every area in your life, especially the second big one finances.

    Think about it.

    Amazing post!!!
  • ldarlener
    ldarlener Posts: 79 Member
    I too wish I had realized that when my daughter was a child.
    As an adult, she told me, "If I ever have children, do not say you are ugly in front of them"
    When she was a child, I never felt attractive, always ugly.
    She said, "you said you were ugly, and people told me I look like you. I thought, this must be what ugly looks like".

    Though I have never thought my daughter looked like me. I always thought she was beautiful. I'm glad she is beginning to realize she is also.
  • ReTuRn_FiTGuY
    ReTuRn_FiTGuY Posts: 1
    This one is for the LAAADIIESSSSS *in a really cheesey club DJ voice*. :glasses:



    I wanted to throw this out there and hopefully it'll make one woman think about it today. (This could be applied to men too, but I'm going to address da females).

    Chances are if you are a woman, you have some sort of little girl looking up to you. Daughter, neice, sister, cousin, maybe you work at a day care, a school, a summer camp, etc. If you do have ANY sort of younger girl looking up to you, please think about how you talk about yourself and others in front of her.

    My mom is the loveliest. She is so caring, loving, wonderful. However, I would also say she is part of the reason I had an eating disorder in my late teens/ early 20s.

    All growing up, I remember my mom criticizing herself. She wouldn't do anything crazy like refuse to eat or wear baggy stuff all the time, but she did typical things that a lot of women do. Made comments about how she couldn't wear a bathing suit because of her chubby tummy. Would pinch her thighs and talk about how she had thunder thighs. Mention after a birthday party that she'd have to exercise the next day to burn off the cake. Mention she gained 10 pounds and maybe she should try weight watchers or that lemon cleanse diet. Not too horrific right? We all do this.

    However, think about how impressionable this is on a young girl. If their role model, the number one woman in their life, is looking at herself this way and thinking she's fat, well then they must be fat too right? It's a pattern. Girls start to wonder what it even means to be "fat". Are they fat? Do they have big thighs? Maybe they should start eating salads too and start exercising to burn off calories. Eating healthy and exercise are never negative things, but thinking you're fat when you're 6, 10, 12 years old and thinking you need to be on a diet is a negative thing.

    I suggest promoting self-love and love-talk to YOURSELF to begin with. Would you ever tell your best friend she has chubby thighs, she's fat, she's disgusting, she has a tire around her waist or she better go for a run tomorrow to burn off that dinner you just ate? Would you tell your daughter that? I wouldn't. So why tell yourself that? The words we say around little ears who we don't think are listening are actually making a big impact. The way we see ourselves is the way our daughters will begin to see themselves. I don't have children yet, but I would never want to be responsible for any negative feelings my future daughter would have toward herself.

    Just think about it. You are fully capable of making a difference.

    This commercial doesn't fully address how I feel but it does show how startling and shocking the words we say to ourselves every day can actually sound when you say them out loud.

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/special-k-filled-a-clothing-store-with-the-mean-comments-wom
    This is a great post! I couldn't agree more and definitely applies to both sons and daughters. For myself, my mother always wore black as it didn't accentuate her weaknesses but she was not very verbal, but that didn't mean she didn't feel that way. Thus we should always reflect on the words that come out of our mouths and the impact they would have to those around us.

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