My Confession...

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(big sigh) Ok, I am going to say it... I have a fibromyalgia.
Now this isnt another woe is me thread about how its everyone else's fault but mine for my weight loss. My fibromyalgia did not make me gain weight and I refuse to let it hold me back. I also have asthma, which I just finally admitted this summer (more on that later).

Now why is this a confession --- because I am one STUBBORN person and I refuse to admit it.
I know fibromyalgia exists... heck Im an NP and I treat it all the time, but its a disorder mostly associated with fat women who have psych issues -- now Im fat ... but I dont have depression, or anxiety, or any other psyche issue (with the exception of the fat thing). But for the longest time I refused to admit that I had it (even though I test positive on 16/18 points) because it was just all in my head. And I thought, well if I lose weight it will get better.

And guess what ... it just isnt... 25 pounds down, I run 3x/week and I am training for a half marathon for god sakes, and yet I still ache alot more than the average person. I feel like an old woman with arthritis, very stiff and painful... but I have a good pain tolerance.

So what does fibro have to do with my asthma... well for a LOOONG time I refused to treat the asthma. I would just wheeze and wheeze and it would go away when I would run... and I wouldnt use the inhaler because I was convinced it was all in my head. And guess what .... its not... and when I dont use my inahler before I run I still wheeze... and holy crap like magic when I use it ... I dont!

So back to the fibro ... when I do my long runs, I take a celebrex the night before (cannot take ibuprofen due to recurrent stomach problems) ... and you know what, I dont ache (despite the long runs). When I take a celebrex my pain goes away (or gets alot better)... but I have this "thing" about taking meds...

But you know what ... my husband had a classic comment today (and sometimes his supportive comments are few and far between) and he told me to stop being stubborn, take the damn medication, and when I am a thin gal then maybe I wont need it...

So my confession -- I have fibromyalgia and I take celebrex.... and I have asthma and take an inhaler.
But Im STILL running a half marathon in 15 days baby!
Thanks for listening!

Replies

  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
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    You're an inspiration! All of your issues and you push past them. That is why you are, and will continue to, succeed in this journey. Congratulations!:drinker:
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
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    Girl you're a rock star! You keep it up. It's one thing to have something and another to let it hold you back from living your life. :) I like your man. Take your meds, keep running and beating the weight battle and then re-*kitten* what you're going to do next!
  • stewster123
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    I have asthma as well. Continue with the inhaler girl! It sucks, but it is the only way to go if you want to continue running and staying healthy! As far as the fibro, you are handling it well. You are such a fighter. I love to read of your progress and all the hard work you do! You are one of my inspirations, you have so much passion. Struggles make us stronger and better people when we overcome them.
  • christinabgsu
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    Very very inspirational! I also refuse to admit that I might have fibro...most of my patients with fibro use it as an excuse, so despite presenting with most symptoms, I act like I don't have it. Glad to know I'm not the only one! Now maybe I won't have to "sneak" my motrin when no one is looking! :-)
  • ObviousIndigo
    ObviousIndigo Posts: 382 Member
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    I am very proud of you!! I sympathize with you and I totally get your train of thought. I am the same way. I have it, I don't want to have it so I denied it for a long time. My mom and my sister told me what was going on and I denied it. But, eventually I had to give in to it and realize that all these weird aches and pains werent just "in my head". They are real and they are different from what other people get and others aren't going to understand it. It takes perseverance and strength to push past it but if we didn't we would hurt even more:) You are doing a GREAT job and keep doing what you are doing! After all, It could always be worse!
  • bjshields
    bjshields Posts: 677 Member
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    Oh, AND you ran a freakin' marathon! As far as I'm concerned, you RULE!
  • emmaleigh47
    emmaleigh47 Posts: 1,670 Member
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    Thank you to everyone for the love and support.
    That is the first time that I admitted the fibro part ... you know if it were another disease like RA we would have no problem admitting it, but yet this seems to be some dark secret.

    I also took my celebrex this morning... and I feel much better.
    My run yesterday was horrible, I was achy all over and I think it is because I didnt take my celebrex since Saturday night!
  • emmaleigh47
    emmaleigh47 Posts: 1,670 Member
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    Very very inspirational! I also refuse to admit that I might have fibro...most of my patients with fibro use it as an excuse, so despite presenting with most symptoms, I act like I don't have it. Glad to know I'm not the only one! Now maybe I won't have to "sneak" my motrin when no one is looking! :-)

    STOP sneaking your motrin -- take it proud and say you know what at least I do something with this body to make it hurt!
    I happily took my celebrex this morning even though I didnt hurt too bad this morning...and wow huge difference. When I rounded today I got crouched down at the w/c of every pt I saw... and I could squat and get up without difficulty. I didnt ache... I had enough energy to make dinner when I got home and get some light housework done!! What a difference.
    Tomorrow its a 5 mile run!! :)