(rant) Done with the "you don't need to lose weight" types
NotJustADieter
Posts: 229 Member
My BMI and body fat% are both well in the obese range and my asthma and IBS act up due to my weight. My doctor has told me to lose weight because my meds are not as effective due to my extra body fat. It's screwing up my whole life Just because I carry the extra fat well and know how to dress to hide it so that I only look a little chunky doesn't mean you get to tell me what I should be doing or whispering about eating disorders behind my back, because that isn't cool. It's my body and I know what I'm doing. So leave me alone.
/rant
/rant
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Replies
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I'm with you on this. My lowest weight in the past 5 years was 195 lbs, and I had people telling me that I was getting "too thin". Sometimes, it is more about them than about you.0
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I'm with you on this. My lowest weight in the past 5 years was 195 lbs, and I had people telling me that I was getting "too thin". Sometimes, it is more about them than about you.
EXACTLY
I'm 5'1 and 155lbs currently. Was 170 at my heaviest. That's BIG. Because I carry a lot in my thighs and bust and have a traditional hourglass figure, I was able to conceal a lot of it with 1950s style fit-and-flare dresses, so people are WORRIED that I'm losing weight or working out.0 -
Just so long as you are taking good care of yourself and losing in a healthy way.. who cares what anyone thinks! I guess take it as a compliment that people feel you are beautiful the way you are. But you are doing the right thing by doing what YOU want and not anyone else.0
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usually this response is due to 1. Skewed perception since there are so many overweight people out there anymore, we are starting to accept that as the norm. 2. Your reconizing that you need to lose a few lbs may annoy people because it is opening their eyes and/or forcing them to face the facts that they too need to lose a few lbs.
There are many many more possabilities though
Just keep your business to yourself, work hard and follow your plan but don't advertise it to people unless you know they are 100% supporting you in it.
~Best wishes on your journey0 -
I have a similar experience from my own mother. She was massaging my shoulders and telling me that I have lost too much weight.
I still have lots of fat on my body, I just have a thin neck and shoulders. It drives me crazy when people say "You're getting too skinny!" and it's always someone a bit bigger than me. My healthy weight is about 120-130 and I'm sitting at 140!
Just because I'm no longer overweight doesn't mean I've lost too much!
Isn't that just dumb!0 -
I don't know why but nowadays only severe severe obese people seem to be allowed to diet. As soon as a chubby-not-really-fat girl starts dieting it's like her whole surroundings think that means an eating disorder is lurking just around the corner?!
From personal experience I can GUARANTEE you that it's just jealousy. When I was in my last year of high school one of my best friends started losing weight. Because she wasn't fat to begin with, some of my other girlfriends and myself talked about her behind her back. 'She's losing too much weight', 'she's gonna be anorexic blablabla', Sometimes we made remarks to her about it. Sure, she was on a rather strict/extreme diet and lost the weight really fast but still, she never went into a dangerous 'too skinny' zone. Frankly, she just looked (and still looks) GREAT. And we did not. We were just acting like jealous *****es.
I'm not proud of that but I'm just trying to say that's it's jealousy 100% sure. I now look at this girl and see her as a role model and I try hard to look as great as she does.
Oh and I just really have to add: you really do wear your weight well. I'm not trying to be like those people saying you shouldn't lose weight because doctor knows best, but man what a waistline!! I can only dream about that. If I ever weighed 155 lbs I'd just be a big round fatbubble. I hope you take that as a compliment because that's how I meant it :P
Best of luck with the weight loss, if you already have a waist like that now you're gonna look even more amazing when you're at your goal weight
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Yeah, I hated that, too! The fact that you're doing this under a doctor's supervision and are still getting this response from people is confusing to me though. You may need to have some heart to heart talks and ask people what's up with their attitudes. If they're genuinely concerned about your health, tell them about your meds not being as effective, etc. If they're just jealous, put them in their place or kick them to the curb. Losing weight is hard enough without people talking trash about you doing.0
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oh god ive heard that so many times, it enrages me! it has become the norm to have a few kilos too many so anyone who wants to look fit steps outside that norm and is perceived as weird or having a problem, just because they want to look and feel better. i think people have actually forgotten what a healthy strong body looks like.0
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I hear ya. A couple of co-workers were asking about how much more I wanted to lose. When I told them, they said, "There won't be anything of you left!!" I said, "That's the point!"
When my husband was on his game, he was at a 20 BMI, and 10% body fat. He worked really hard to get there. Partly, he wanted to see if he could do it, and he wanted to try to be able to come off his Type II diabetes meds. He was able to do that.
Then people started giving him grief saying he was underweight and looked gaunt, and then started mentioning it to me. I'm like, "I know what he's doing, and what his goals are.....he's fine, leave him alone."
When did everybody else become such a bunch of busy-bodies!!??!!0 -
Yeah, I hated that, too! The fact that you're doing this under a doctor's supervision and are still getting this response from people is confusing to me though. You may need to have some heart to heart talks and ask people what's up with their attitudes. If they're genuinely concerned about your health, tell them about your meds not being as effective, etc. If they're just jealous, put them in their place or kick them to the curb. Losing weight is hard enough without people talking trash about you doing.
Oh, I hear "get a second opinion" constantly. One of the meds that wasn't working right was my birth control! That's so not okay! And I hate going into details with people because then it turns into a discussion of the reason my health is all kinds of messed up, and that's something I dislike going into.0 -
Or
Maybe people are just trying to be polite by saying "you don't need to lose weight" instead of "Yeah lardo, you could stand to miss a few meals".
Like water off a ducks back, let it slide.
Jeez.0 -
Yup, and I've lost NOTHING compared to where I want to be down the road, just today I was told that I was wasting away to nothing, at 270 pounds, please! just because you're used to seeing me over 300 doesn't make me anywhere near skinny nor will I be there any time soon. Its def frustrating and I feel you!0
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Or
Maybe people are just trying to be polite by saying "you don't need to lose weight" instead of "Yeah lardo, you could stand to miss a few meals".
Like water off a ducks back, let it slide.
Jeez.
Not when you're at the gym doing your cardio and a well meaning older woman interrupts you to discuss a possible eating disorder.0 -
>> like water off a duck's back, let it slide....
Rant on.
Yeah, right. People tell me I don't have to lose weight (5'9" 190# guy, was 260) but when I tell them how much I do weigh (guys can do that, I guess) they are like really? Wow! Good luck with that last 30#.
But what really gets under my skin is when my wife starts telling me I'm too thin. Yeah, I'm flirting with type II diabetes, my cholesterol is high (and statins give me nasty side effects) but I'm too thin. I was 160# when we got married, dear, and 130# in high school. Too thin my *kitten*.
Rant off.
Maybe it's more growing a thick skin and realizing you're doing this for YOU, you don't have to worry about what they think.
Hope everything goes well for everybody. Hang in there.0 -
Or
Maybe people are just trying to be polite by saying "you don't need to lose weight" instead of "Yeah lardo, you could stand to miss a few meals".
Like water off a ducks back, let it slide.
Jeez.
Not when you're at the gym doing your cardio and a well meaning older woman interrupts you to discuss a possible eating disorder.
Does this happen a lot? Or one time? Was it a stranger? Or was it someone you know and we are not getting the whole story. What are you even ranting about?
They don't live your life, bottom line. Who cares what they think?0 -
the majority of the time people say this is because they are attempting to say that you look great as you are.0
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I'm with you on this. My lowest weight in the past 5 years was 195 lbs, and I had people telling me that I was getting "too thin". Sometimes, it is more about them than about you.
I get this now and I weigh 226! Just because I've lost 160 so far doesn't mean I need to stop here. My goal weight is 160, so I still have 66 to go. I appreciate the compliments on how much better I look now, but you are not complimenting me by telling me I don't "look" like I have anything left to lose!
Of course, when I was 386, where I started the weight loss, I bet they all had something to say about that too. So my motto is, I'm doing this for me, so I have my health and my mobility back. Thank you for commenting positively on my weight loss, now leave it there.0 -
I'm with you on this. My lowest weight in the past 5 years was 195 lbs, and I had people telling me that I was getting "too thin". Sometimes, it is more about them than about you.
I get this now and I weigh 226! Just because I've lost 160 so far doesn't mean I need to stop here. My goal weight is 160, so I still have 66 to go. I appreciate the compliments on how much better I look now, but you are not complimenting me by telling me I don't "look" like I have anything left to lose!
Of course, when I was 386, where I started the weight loss, I bet they all had something to say about that too. So my motto is, I'm doing this for me, so I have my health and my mobility back. Thank you for commenting positively on my weight loss, now leave it there.
really? Of all the things in life to worry about...this is what bothers you.
:noway:0 -
I get it from guys that like "thick" girls and it pisses me off. I'm not doing it for them, I'm doing it for myself. I'm the one that has to like the reflection in the mirror, not them.0
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I get it from guys that like "thick" girls and it pisses me off. I'm not doing it for them, I'm doing it for myself. I'm the one that has to like the reflection in the mirror, not them.
UGHHHHH
Or the "but you'll lose your boobs!" types
nope, they're here to stay. but who gives a crap if I do?0 -
My grandma is one of those old fashioned types that ask you if you are hungry until you eat something. So she is the only one that tells me I'm too skinny....0
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Or
Maybe people are just trying to be polite by saying "you don't need to lose weight" instead of "Yeah lardo, you could stand to miss a few meals".
Like water off a ducks back, let it slide.
Jeez.
Not when you're at the gym doing your cardio and a well meaning older woman interrupts you to discuss a possible eating disorder.
Does this happen a lot? Or one time? Was it a stranger? Or was it someone you know and we are not getting the whole story. What are you even ranting about?
They don't live your life, bottom line. Who cares what they think?
If thats the bottom line why not be happy to let OP and others have their rant?0 -
Perspective? Ain't that why she came to rant?Or
Maybe people are just trying to be polite by saying "you don't need to lose weight" instead of "Yeah lardo, you could stand to miss a few meals".
Like water off a ducks back, let it slide.
Jeez.
Not when you're at the gym doing your cardio and a well meaning older woman interrupts you to discuss a possible eating disorder.
Does this happen a lot? Or one time? Was it a stranger? Or was it someone you know and we are not getting the whole story. What are you even ranting about?
They don't live your life, bottom line. Who cares what they think?
If thats the bottom line why not be happy to let OP and others have their rant?0 -
I've been straddling the line between overweight and obese for a while now and have been asked more than once if I have hit my goal weight. Not even close.0
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You also have to figure that with some people, the thinner you get, the bigger they get in their head.0
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Hang in there; people are kinda stupid sometimes. I'm a hair under 5'3". My SW was 161 and I've only lost 6 lb so far, and boy has it been slow, but I feel like I finally "get it" - and I think I'm going to start noticing a few NSV's - non-scale victories- in another lb or two. My goal is 135 and then my ULTIMATE goal is 120. Rants like these (I see them so often of MFP) make me worry a little what my family will say when I start getting close to goal, I hope they remember that I was perfectly healthy and looked fantastic at 120. I'd be REALLY annoyed it I started getting "You're too skinny" comments.
But maybe my concerns are way too premature... 0 -
I have a similar experience from my own mother. She was massaging my shoulders and telling me that I have lost too much weight.
I still have lots of fat on my body, I just have a thin neck and shoulders. It drives me crazy when people say "You're getting too skinny!" and it's always someone a bit bigger than me. My healthy weight is about 120-130 and I'm sitting at 140!
Just because I'm no longer overweight doesn't mean I've lost too much!
Isn't that just dumb!
Hey Zurgan without being a creeper, what's your height? You look awesome in your profile pic and we are the same age, and I have the same goal as yours. Just curious....again, not trying to be creepy. lol0 -
Love this logic!You also have to figure that with some people, the thinner you get, the bigger they get in their head.0 -
Perspective? Ain't that why she came to rant?Or
Maybe people are just trying to be polite by saying "you don't need to lose weight" instead of "Yeah lardo, you could stand to miss a few meals".
Like water off a ducks back, let it slide.
Jeez.
Not when you're at the gym doing your cardio and a well meaning older woman interrupts you to discuss a possible eating disorder.
Does this happen a lot? Or one time? Was it a stranger? Or was it someone you know and we are not getting the whole story. What are you even ranting about?
They don't live your life, bottom line. Who cares what they think?
If thats the bottom line why not be happy to let OP and others have their rant?
So she shouldnt care what other people think, but should listen to other people tell her what to and to not care about. Right. Got it
Im off to the gym forums are way to much of a distraction! :flowerforyou:0 -
People just love sticking their noses into other people's business.
I would just say thanks I'll think about it then walk away.
I had someone asking me if I knew what my ideal weight was because I was getting too skinny. Yes I did and I wasn't there yet. Everyone has an opinion. I think lots of times they don't like seeing changes in others. So just grin and bear it.0
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