Those skinny friends who say you don't need to lose weight

My issue is more people who said they never remember me being that big. Or that I wasn't big in the first place. I find that quite amusing. Think people are being polite. Only my young cousin will say I was fat before but says I am not anymore.

It's funny to me, but I don't think women in general like to compete with other women when it comes to looks, body, clothing, etc. So I see disuation as a great tactic.
That's just an observation I've made over the years in the gym in general.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I don't understand what you are saying.

We don't like to compete, so we dissuade?

Do you learn everything you know about women from watching the movie mean girls.

That's the kind of **** I hate. When you say you want to change something about yourself and instead of giving you encouragement they give you the whole "you're awesome the way you are" comments.

I never had to deal with it but I've seen people that have. It's frustrating. It's almost belittling, as if they're saying they agree but don't think you can. So you know what you gotta do? Do it anyways! Get in such good shape you make them all jealous.

Weight loss and fitness are personal issues. We are always harder on ourselves than others. Just because a person sees a shift in their own body does not mean they are scrutinizing and thinking intently about other bodies. But, personally I would never call myself fat, and certainly not when talking to people. When people talk like that I don't feel very comfortable contributing to that conversation.

You don't have to explain anything you do, it's your life and you choose how to live it. I have no idea who you are so I certainly can't tell you how to... or if a friend is trying to dissuade you.

I feel like these conversations happen because we are always more critical of ourselves than we are of others. Sometimes I see people that weigh more than me and my first thought is not, they look horrible and need to lose weight. Sometimes I think they look fine. But if I were that size, I know I would feel like I needed to lose weight. I think it has to do with that self focus trait that we all have. And then it might also be a matter of being polite. It's not nice to tell your friend that they're fat and need to lose 50 pounds. It may be the truth, but it's not polite. How would you feel if the friends had said, you're fat and need to lose a lot of weight?

'I need to drop a few pounds' type rather than my lose 28 kilos. Going well but not there yet. Appearance vs health. Sometimes vanity, sometimes other things.
Still... It is rare that a 62kg (as an example) person would need to lose weight.

On top of the media enforced body image issues that we all deal with when we look inward as women, we also deal with another factor of learned pretense when it comes to dealing with the outside world.

“We teach girls shame: Close your legs; cover yourself. We make them feel as though by being born female, they’re already guilty of something. As so, girls grow up to be women who cannot say they have desire. They grow up to be women who have to silence themselves. They grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think….And they grow up to be women who have turned pretense into an art form.” – Chimamanda Adichie

Your skinny friends are just as caught up in this cycle, and perhaps don't actually have the know how to be supportive of your journey. It might not be their unwillingness to be there for you in the way you need, but a fundamental lack of ability.

I've also found that there's a disconnect between how we see ourselves and how we see others. I think we are much more critical of ourselves and more forgiving of others. They may honestly not see you as needing to lose weight, but then see themselves as needing to lose weight. I'm not saying this is the case, but I know that what I see in the mirror is not what other people see when they see me.

Precisely..

too often people jump right to calling girls (and guys, as there are some guys like it, too) like this 'attention *kitten*'. When that just isn't the case. Body dysmorphia, eating disorders... they are real.And even people who don't suffer with them might struggle with self image. Because we do not see others the way they see themselves.

I struggle wearing bathing suits because I feel like my thighs are huge. Not to mention I have proof of weight loss on my thighs (stretch marks) and other things that should be insignificant, but aren't to me. Yet, everyone expects me to be comfortable in one just because I'm skinnier now. It baffles me how people automatically assume that people who are skinnier will automatically be confident. In a perfect world, everyone would be confident - regardless of size. But this is not a perfect world, so even skinny girls and boys sometimes lack body confidence.

I have three girls at work who all have virtually perfect figures but constantly say they need to lose weight!

Definition of Virtually: in effect though not in fact

See, if you told them they were actually perfect instead of virtually perfect, maybe they would be content.

*kidding