Binge eating.. The never ending cycle

FitnessBellaBarbie
FitnessBellaBarbie Posts: 46
in Motivation and Support
Hi Everyone...

I am currently dealing with an eating disorder of self sabatoge and fee ashamed and humiliated to write this but i feel like i need to reach out to people who feel the same way. I seem to keep repeating the same cycle. I will eat so well and be doing so well and i am so proud of myself and then i fall right back into failure. I end up over eating and self contemplating for it by over exercising, purging or doing laxatives.

I know whats right and i know how to eat properly. But sometimes if i feel empty or get this overwhelming craving and i loose all self control and feel so guilty and ashamed of myself. I start to have a distorted body image and put so much pressure on myself to loose weight.. (even though i am not over weight).. But i still dont have the lean stomach and mesurements i would like to have.. I am so confused and i dont know how to end this vicous cycle of self sabatoge. I feel like i need a distraction or a new vice. I think about it to much and i am obviously doing something wrong or missing something that makes me act in this strange way...

Does anyone else feel this way?
Does anyone know what to do?
Am i eating the wrong amount of calories?
I am beyond confused and i need some help. I know its a bit ridiculous but its something i am dealing with everyday.. and any help or advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you so much.

Replies

  • ayron102
    ayron102 Posts: 17 Member
    Hi - I'm not a huge health nut (yet!) so I can't help you with the amount of calories and what not... but I can comment on the emotional part.

    I think the most important part to think about is what happens when you fail. Everyone fails all the time. So, if you make a mistake, then acknowledge it as that. That was a mistake, I'm going to try not to do it again. Not every mistake has to be fixed.

    Think about when you started driving. Drift a little bit and you probably yanked on the wheel. Now you're going the other direction, back and forth - it became unstable. Same thing we have to remember about our eating journey. Don't over-correct. If you make a mistake in eating, laxatives/purging - that's over-correcting (and I'm simplifying I'm sure...) but it's taking a much more extreme reaction to something. If someone steals, do we cut off their hand? No. That's extreme. So why is it ok to wreak havoc on the body because of some small failure?

    I can't say I fully understand, because I don't. But if I can just impart one good thought on you: everyone fails, and that's fine. Every good invention, every good work of art, every amazing body you see had failures. None of us will ever be perfect, and that's ok. Realizing that is the first step. In other words, you've had an action that was not in your schedule. That doesn't mean that YOU are a failure.

    Final note: I'm newer to the community too, but nothing is ridiculous. Ask away. It's wild...but people do care. :)
  • LotusAsh
    LotusAsh Posts: 294 Member
    This may sound harsh, but this isn't the place to ask this. You should really talk to a counselor or therapist until you develop a healthy relationship with food and yourself
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    This may sound harsh, but this isn't the place to ask this. You should really talk to a counselor or therapist until you develop a healthy relationship with food and yourself

    Agreed.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I'm sure much like myself most of us would like to see you get better, but we can't provide what you need.
    Are you seeing a therapist? Please do so ASAP. Work with them.
  • mommadearest3
    mommadearest3 Posts: 27 Member
    You should really speak with a therapist to get to the root of your problems with food.

    I can say, that having a tone stomach/body has less to do with losing weight and more to do with exercises designed to tone your body. Also, it is ok to give in to cravings and have some ``unhealthy` items, it`s about moderation. If you allow your self to eat the foods you love, you will be less likely to binge when you can`t fight off the craving.

    But for now, please please reach out to a therapist. Good luck!!
  • rotill
    rotill Posts: 244 Member
    It sounds like you have an image problem and not a problem with lack of knowledge. Still, a specialist may teach you things you never considered important. Go talk to a therapist about your image issues, and find a dietician to help you learn more about healthy food, don't trust some fad diet or dieting tricks off the internet.
  • starter1270
    starter1270 Posts: 2 Member
    You cant fix the food issues until you deal with the underlying issues that cause the food issues, thats why you keep going back to the same behaviors, because you have the same issues. I am speaking from experience, not judgement. Get into see a therapist, best move i ever made. I still experience failures, and setbacks, but i have someone i trust aand respect to talk me through it. they arent as damgeing when you can see them through someonre elses eye to put things in perspective; and with an eating disorder, you know that perspective is everything. I wish youall the best.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    This may sound harsh, but this isn't the place to ask this. You should really talk to a counselor or therapist until you develop a healthy relationship with food and yourself

    I disagree. While a counselor may be helpful, asking what worked for others that had the same problem may also be helpful.
  • LotusAsh
    LotusAsh Posts: 294 Member
    This may sound harsh, but this isn't the place to ask this. You should really talk to a counselor or therapist until you develop a healthy relationship with food and yourself

    I disagree. While a counselor may be helpful, asking what worked for others that had the same problem may also be helpful.

    She's already admitted to an eating disorder, that's something that none of us can help with
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    OP, have you ever thought about why you binge? When you are "eating healthy" is your diet too strict to be maintained for long? Do you allow yourself treats? Are you eating enough calories, or are you eating as little as possible, in order to lose or not gain weight?

    If you can pinpoint why you binge, you will be better equipped to stop the cycle.

    If you are not overweight and but want to change the shape of your body, dieting is only part of the equation. You likely need a good exercise program that includes cardio and strength building exercises. And you need to make sure you are eating the proper mix of protien, carbs and fat to fuel the exercises. Perhaps you should look for an exercise program that includes a nutrition guide designed for that workout.

    There is more to a healthy diet than just calories and "healthy foods". You need to make sure your diet is in balance with your lfiestyle, and provides a level of satiety that you can live with long term.

    Best of luck to you!
  • runner475
    runner475 Posts: 1,236 Member
    This may sound harsh, but this isn't the place to ask this. You should really talk to a counselor or therapist until you develop a healthy relationship with food and yourself

    I disagree. While a counselor may be helpful, asking what worked for others that had the same problem may also be helpful.

    Not unless anyone on here is a trained counselors/therapist. Everyone is different. Thus counselors come up with different approach. This is not one size fits all glove.

    This is a very sensitive issue.

    OP, I highly recommend you talk to therapist.

    This post can get reported and as per MFP policies such advises are not allowed on MFP.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    This may sound harsh, but this isn't the place to ask this. You should really talk to a counselor or therapist until you develop a healthy relationship with food and yourself

    This
  • Luv2Smile55
    Luv2Smile55 Posts: 133 Member
    Hi - I'm not a huge health nut (yet!) so I can't help you with the amount of calories and what not... but I can comment on the emotional part.

    I think the most important part to think about is what happens when you fail. Everyone fails all the time. So, if you make a mistake, then acknowledge it as that. That was a mistake, I'm going to try not to do it again. Not every mistake has to be fixed.

    Think about when you started driving. Drift a little bit and you probably yanked on the wheel. Now you're going the other direction, back and forth - it became unstable. Same thing we have to remember about our eating journey. Don't over-correct. If you make a mistake in eating, laxatives/purging - that's over-correcting (and I'm simplifying I'm sure...) but it's taking a much more extreme reaction to something. If someone steals, do we cut off their hand? No. That's extreme. So why is it ok to wreak havoc on the body because of some small failure?

    I can't say I fully understand, because I don't. But if I can just impart one good thought on you: everyone fails, and that's fine. Every good invention, every good work of art, every amazing body you see had failures. None of us will ever be perfect, and that's ok. Realizing that is the first step. In other words, you've had an action that was not in your schedule. That doesn't mean that YOU are a failure.

    Final note: I'm newer to the community too, but nothing is ridiculous. Ask away. It's wild...but people do care. :)

    The support in this statement makes me feel proud to know that there's actually people out there who can give positive affirmations and not ridicule. Thank you SO much for this! I agree with what you said 500%. :smile:

    Not one of us are perfect. Beating ourselves up does nothing but push us down further. Concentrate on what made you binge and then forgive yourself and move forward. There's going to be setbacks but for every two steps forward, an occasional step back isn't going to undo all the good you've accomplished. :flowerforyou:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    This may sound harsh, but this isn't the place to ask this. You should really talk to a counselor or therapist until you develop a healthy relationship with food and yourself

    I disagree. While a counselor may be helpful, asking what worked for others that had the same problem may also be helpful.

    Not unless anyone on here is a trained counselors/therapist. Everyone is different. Thus counselors come up with different approach. This is not one size fits all glove.

    This is a very sensitive issue.

    OP, I highly recommend you talk to therapist.

    This post can get reported and as per MFP policies such advises are not allowed on MFP.

    What rule was broken?
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
    Hi there. I did respond with some advice the last time you posted this, but I'll repeat it here:

    *Find an eating disorder specialist through ANAD.org
    *ANAD also hooks people up with free ED group therapy
    *You might want to look at the Dialectical Behavior Therapy book for Bulimia--it just has good info in general on EDs and good exercises.

    Good thoughts to you.
  • FitnessBellaBarbie
    FitnessBellaBarbie Posts: 46
    Ok - I will reply to all your comments separately - thank you for your feedback.
  • FitnessBellaBarbie
    FitnessBellaBarbie Posts: 46
    Hi - I'm not a huge health nut (yet!) so I can't help you with the amount of calories and what not... but I can comment on the emotional part.

    I think the most important part to think about is what happens when you fail. Everyone fails all the time. So, if you make a mistake, then acknowledge it as that. That was a mistake, I'm going to try not to do it again. Not every mistake has to be fixed.

    Think about when you started driving. Drift a little bit and you probably yanked on the wheel. Now you're going the other direction, back and forth - it became unstable. Same thing we have to remember about our eating journey. Don't over-correct. If you make a mistake in eating, laxatives/purging - that's over-correcting (and I'm simplifying I'm sure...) but it's taking a much more extreme reaction to something. If someone steals, do we cut off their hand? No. That's extreme. So why is it ok to wreak havoc on the body because of some small failure?

    I can't say I fully understand, because I don't. But if I can just impart one good thought on you: everyone fails, and that's fine. Every good invention, every good work of art, every amazing body you see had failures. None of us will ever be perfect, and that's ok. Realizing that is the first step. In other words, you've had an action that was not in your schedule. That doesn't mean that YOU are a failure.

    Final note: I'm newer to the community too, but nothing is ridiculous. Ask away. It's wild...but people do care. :)

    The support in this statement makes me feel proud to know that there's actually people out there who can give positive affirmations and not ridicule. Thank you SO much for this! I agree with what you said 500%. :smile:

    Not one of us are perfect. Beating ourselves up does nothing but push us down further. Concentrate on what made you binge and then forgive yourself and move forward. There's going to be setbacks but for every two steps forward, an occasional step back isn't going to undo all the good you've accomplished. :flowerforyou:

    Yes I agree - Thank you for the kind words and taking the time to read/ write back to me - right now everything helps. it is very comforting to read some of the statements people take the time to write and know that people care.
  • FitnessBellaBarbie
    FitnessBellaBarbie Posts: 46
    This may sound harsh, but this isn't the place to ask this. You should really talk to a counselor or therapist until you develop a healthy relationship with food and yourself

    I disagree. While a counselor may be helpful, asking what worked for others that had the same problem may also be helpful.

    Not unless anyone on here is a trained counselors/therapist. Everyone is different. Thus counselors come up with different approach. This is not one size fits all glove.

    This is a very sensitive issue.

    OP, I highly recommend you talk to therapist.

    This post can get reported and as per MFP policies such advises are not allowed on MFP.

    Hi,
    You are right. I would love to see a therpist and trust me I have tried - i have been dealing with this for a year now in different ways. The thing is Therpists are extreamly expensive as well as nutritionists. I think i have a bad body image because of the industry i am in and the way i have been treated in the past. I am strong and i know i can get through this but i loose my confidence when i make a mistake and it makes me feel lke i am going back to square one.

    What i am asking is to see who has gone through this issue and how they were able to overcome it. I think that woud be very helpful for me and i have found a few who have suffered with this who are reaching out and i cant thank them enough.

    I did not realize this was not allowed on MFP and i didnt mean to cause ANY drama. I am fairly new to this site and this question was very innocent. as i think having this community on here is very unique. It is nice to know there are people out there trying to overcome the same issue and are willing to take the time to write back.

    Thank You.

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