100 lbs gone - advice required.

I would work on your self-esteem before getting together with a woman. Your self confidence is what will naturally attract females. You have to work on your self image just as hard as you have your physical health. That takes time, commitment, and work. I suggest picking up a few books about this...strengthen yourself first then try getting to know her. Low self-esteem is what will kill a relationship before it begins. There are just too many fears that jeopardize the relationship. Maybe just try and get to know her on a friendship level while focusing on healing yourself from the inside out. I wish you the best of luck!

I would work on your self-esteem before getting together with a woman. Your self confidence is what will naturally attract females. You have to work on your self image just as hard as you have your physical health. That takes time, commitment, and work. I suggest picking up a few books about this...strengthen yourself first then try getting to know her. Low self-esteem is what will kill a relationship before it begins. There are just too many fears that jeopardize the relationship. Maybe just try and get to know her on a friendship level while focusing on healing yourself from the inside out. I wish you the best of luck!

and this!

Fake it till you make it. In other words, you need to work on gaining confidence, but part of that will come from just taking that first step. If you don't fall flat on your face....success! That breeds More confidence. If you do fall, at least you had the guts to try, so try again. Keep it up!

Anyone can get someone, even anyone if u know their needs. Find a way 2 start a conversation. Compliment something: jewelry, makeup, shoes. That's a flirt that tells her u like her. Strike a convo 2 or 3x, then ask her out.

If shes not interested, or u botch it, move on, find a new crush. Hair of the dog...but good luck!

And buy her lobster, so, she has to put out. Ladies, commence thrashing me...

I hate lobster..

As a bisexual transgender I've been on both sides of the fence so to speak. Maybe genetic females will tell you something different, but the guys who I find attractive are the ones who show a genuine interest in me, are confident but not pushy, complimentary but not over-the-top, and don't spend all their time talking about themselves! Just my experience.

Now I'm smaller, considerably smaller. I still have around 50 pounds to lose. My question really is I've seen this girl who works in the same building as me (not the same company) and I'd like to get to know her but I just don't know how to make the first steps. I feel out of my depth and for many years I've felt like 'people like me' just don't have girlfriends. I really would like any advice you can give me.

Start martial arts. I would suggest one of those where you kick and screm (like Tae Kwon Do, Tang Soo Do, Karate Do etc.). At first it will seem akward, and you will shy out, you will not scream, you will hold kicks and punches. Then suddently your confidence will be boosted big time and you will feel like you can kick

Confidence comes with time and experience. You will build it as you gain experience in confidence building activities, like asking a girl out. The very best mindset to get to is that it is OK to get rejected. Honestly, that is the absolute worst thing that can happen to you when you put yourself out there, and it just isn't that bad. You get rejected. You feel bummed. You move on to the next best thing. Women do appreciate confidence, and nothing says confidence more than a man who can just come right out and say what he wants (nice and politely, of course). Say hi, ask her out, see what happens. If she isn't interested, so be it. There are plenty of women out there who will be, but you'll never meet any of them if you don't allow yourself the possibility of getting rejected and get over the fear that you might be.

Being a shy person who has been heavy a good part of my life, I can relate to this. Although I have had relationships and been married, being fat takes a toll on your psyche that is difficult to unlearn. It is hard to feel confident when society tells you that you are 'less than' due to your size.
Congratulations on losing the weight, that is a great accomplishment and a step toward growth in other areas. One piece of advice I can offer that came out of a realization one day: I got tired of over analyzing situations and decided to just have fun. It has allowed me a degree of freedom no matter what the outcome may be and I learned that most people are happy to meet you. Smiles really are returned and there are many people like me who won't put themselves out there but will happily talk with you if you approach them.
Best of luck to you, it sounds like you have a great start on your future

First off... Congratulations on the 100 lbs lost. I have been there and it is such an amazing feat! You must feel incredible. Well done.

I can't tell you what all women like or don't like. No one can as all women are different and special in their own way. These are only my thoughts as I drink my first cup of coffee of the morning.

I can tell you that you'll miss 100% of the time if you never take the shot. A few things which are largely human nature...

Most people like to feel important and feel listened to. Listening is such a critical skill and is so often neglected. Don't go on a date and talk exclusively about yourself... do talk about her. Ask questions. Find out her wants and likes.

Do find something fun to do that enables an easy flow in conversation. Sitting alone in a quiet restaurant with someone you don't know can be tricky if you aren't gregarious in nature. Doing an activity together can spur conversation quite easily.

Use her name and establish eye contact. There is nothing sweeter than the sound of a persons name on someone else's lips. Similarly eye contact establishes that you are listening to her. (just don't be creepy about it ) I try to find out 5 things about someone when I first meet them... Eye color and four others. That tells me I was attentive and listening.

Don't be afraid to be yourself and be honest... your true self will come out eventually anyways. Nobody likes a fake.

Start by saying hello... Good Morning. How are you today? Try to notice her likes and dislikes, her hobbies and interests. You can tell a lot about someone by the way they dress and what they are carrying and try to find common ground for discussion.

I once met a girl simply by commenting on her concert tshirt. It was for a Chris Whitley concert back in the day... we had coffee later that night and dated for 6 months. Notice the little things. A nice compliment can go a long ways.

Don't be afraid to be nervous. Its human nature. Joke about it. Be honest about it. Some people find that endearing. Joking about it eases the tension. But remember it is normal.

Anyways... My coffee cup is almost empty and I've rambled on enough.

Good luck and again... Congrats!

I'd start with a Hi! and a smile. Make sure you are noticed by her by making quick eye contact. Every day that you run into her build up a few more words to say until you feel confident talking a real conversation. Also practice saying hello to other woman you don't have a crush on, use them for practice. In addition do things that build your confidence, wear clothing you feel good in, get a great haircut to build up your confidence. Good luck to you.