Want Someone to Notice

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badcemom
badcemom Posts: 50
in Motivation and Support
I've lost 30 lbs since January (12 since starting with MFP). I never thought it would happen, so I'm pretty happy. I feel like the other 60 or so is a reachable goal. However... I really wish someone would notice. Since nobody has said, "Hey, you look like you've lost some weight," I feel like it's not noticeable. Is that nuts?
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Replies

  • homemadehippy
    homemadehippy Posts: 44 Member
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    I've lost 60 over the past year and only one person has mentioned it. I did have 5 people (in the last 2 weeks) ask if I got new glasses though - lol.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    usually it's not noticeable for the first 20 or so... I won't worry to much about it. You're doing awesome- keep pushing- it's TOTALLY do able. :) You've come a long way- take heart!!!

    I find every 15 pounds or so means I need new clothes- so when I hit a new mark- I get a new dress- and I make sure I get all done up for absolutely NO reason what so ever and go to work.

    I don't need other's support- but damn do I feel good putting on new duds and getting dolled up just to be fabulous.


    Rock your smile- you're new found weight loss and a new fabulous dress that makes you feel like a million bucks- a ear to ear "I'm awesome and I know it" smile are hard to miss.

    Go on and be fabulous!!!
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    It can be a tricky topic. Some people notice but don't say anything in case the person might be offended by the comment.
  • kaseyr1505
    kaseyr1505 Posts: 624 Member
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    Many people don't mention weight loss because a lot of things can cause it. You could be not eating because of stress, or mental health issues. You could be sick. Or, they just feel like weight is a taboo subject. "Oh you look great!" can be taken in many ways.

    My advice is to mention your weight loss journey, if you haven't already, buy some clothes that emphasize your new shape. Thrift stores are great for getting temporary clothes. If you're on social media, post a before/current picture.
  • terbusha
    terbusha Posts: 1,483 Member
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    How do you feel? You should be ecstatic about getting things going and making that great progress! Congrats for sure. Stay the course. People will notice, but it is so much more important that you know that you are doing the right thing for your health. Every step you take towards that goal is a step in the right direction, and you should be proud of that.

    You've got this!

    Allan
  • Zhryla
    Zhryla Posts: 20 Member
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    I work in an office with mostly regular customers, usually see them once a month. No one has said anything outright about my weight but the other day a lady kept asking me what I changed, that I looked nice and that my new haircut really framed my face well. I took that as someone noticing. My haircut is the same as its always been but her knowing something was different and being so positive and nice about it made my whole month!
  • JustSomeEm
    JustSomeEm Posts: 20,212 MFP Moderator
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    I totally second that many people won't say anything because they're not sure if its a touchy subject for you or not. I went for months without anyone saying anything to me, then when I finally caved and bought new clothes so that I wouldn't ahve to worry about them potentially falling off in the middle of a work day - one of my coworkers told me they'd been wondering when I was going to get new clothes that I didn't swim in. LOL! And my boss always compliments my hair when he notices I'm shrinking (I know this because at one point, after one too many hair compliments I told him the hair was the same, but the size of my *kitten* was considerably smaller... we had a good laugh and a discussion about weight being a taboo subject at work - he'd noticed, but didn't feel comfortable mentioning it).

    You are doing phenomenal, and you look wonderful. Keep it up!
  • Momjogger
    Momjogger Posts: 750 Member
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    If no one noticed it is most likely because you are an attractive, proportionate person. Most people don't notice right away when you are more proportional. That is a great thing. Keep going!
  • fushigi1988
    fushigi1988 Posts: 519 Member
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    Most people dont say anything, or you could still be (on purpose or not) be 'hiding' in old clothes.
    Are you dressing different? Do you feel different? How you feel reflects a lot on the outside, and people tend to notice that confidence more.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,868 Member
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    For one thing, the more you have to lose, the less noticeable the initial weight loss will be. Of my 40ish Lbs lost, my first 20 Lbs wasn't all that noticeable as much of that fat was coming off of my limbs and other extremities...nobody really notices skinnier fingers and the like. People tend to notice the face and gut the most...and I really didn't start getting into those fat stores until my last 20 lbs. Going from 220 to 200 was really not noticeable...200 - 180 was a night and day transformation.

    Secondly, people tend to shy away from talking about other people's weight in general; it's kind of taboo. Even what is meant to be a compliment can be taken wrong...if you use the search function you will find threads here on MFP with loads of people who interpret a comment like, "wow...you look great...good job on your weight loss" as "wow...you were a big fat ugly piece of **** before, I can't believe you were such a fat *kitten*." Most people understand that these kind of comments can be taken the wrong way so they just don't say anything.

    I would also add that new clothes that fit properly go a long way in both how you look as well as how you feel and your overall confidence. Most people are going to notice your confidence or lack thereof more than they're going to notice your size/weight.
  • enjolrasbarricade
    enjolrasbarricade Posts: 28
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    Some people fear they will insult someone who has lost weight if they make a comment. It also has to do with how frequently you see someone. The people around me don't notice I have lost some weight(the healthy way) but my dentist who hadn't seen me for 5 months today commented on how well and slim I look.
  • frangrann
    frangrann Posts: 219 Member
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    It can be a tricky topic. Some people notice but don't say anything in case the person might be offended by the comment.


    This is true…like you would think that they thought you didn't look good before.

    When you do get a compliment tho it is even more meaningful! Keep it up, they notice!
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
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    For one thing, the more you have to lose, the less noticeable the initial weight loss will be. Of my 40ish Lbs lost, my first 20 Lbs wasn't all that noticeable as much of that fat was coming off of my limbs and other extremities...nobody really notices skinnier fingers and the like. People tend to notice the face and gut the most...and I really didn't start getting into those fat stores until my last 20 lbs. Going from 220 to 200 was really not noticeable...200 - 180 was a night and day transformation.

    Secondly, people tend to shy away from talking about other people's weight in general; it's kind of taboo. Even what is meant to be a compliment can be taken wrong...if you use the search function you will find threads here on MFP with loads of people who interpret a comment like, "wow...you look great...good job on your weight loss" as "wow...you were a big fat ugly piece of **** before, I can't believe you were such a fat *kitten*." Most people understand that these kind of comments can be taken the wrong way so they just don't say anything.

    I would also add that new clothes that fit properly go a long way in both how you look as well as how you feel and your overall confidence. Most people are going to notice your confidence or lack thereof more than they're going to notice your size/weight.

    I had exactly the same experience.

    First 30lbs (on my 5' 2" short bod) no one noticed. Absolutely no one.

    After 45lbs lost, I can't shut them up at work. It's getting a bit tiresome TBH, especially since I don't really feel a whole lot different, and I'm still, you know, the same person.

    I'm waiting for the "you're getting too thin" when I finally get rid of the last 20-25.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,261 Member
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    well done for your weight loss so far. I dont think its nuts, i was the same. It esp helped when I just looked in the mirror and could see the same big person. They will notice, just keep at it. As some people have said weight loss is a tricky subject.
  • greenplatespecial
    greenplatespecial Posts: 3 Member
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    It's not nuts at all to want someone to notice and appreciate your hard work and achievement. Good for you, btw - keep it up! My coworkers have commented on my weight loss, but my husband hasn't. I had to point blank ask him if he even noticed. Sometimes people are just clueless. And sometimes they are just overly polite and sensitive. You know people will root for you here though!
  • badcemom
    badcemom Posts: 50
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    Thanks for all the kind and helpful comments. My husband "notices", but I don't know if that's just because I pointed it out. Some days I'm not sure *I* can even tell, except that when I tie my belt for my martial arts classes, the ends are way longer than they used to be.
  • PhysicalGraffiti
    PhysicalGraffiti Posts: 6 Member
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    I've lost about 28lbs so far, which is about half way to my goal. I always think to myself "How can you be down 28lbs and still feel the same way you did before?" I don't notice a huge difference in my shape yet. I still wear the sam size jeans as I did 28lbs ago. Maybe I was just in denial before and they were way too small & now they fit me like jeans are supposed to fit lol. My bra band has went from a 38 to a 34. I went down a shirt size. I went down a spanx size haha. My husband tells me that "I've been looking great lately." The only other person to say anything to me is my mother in law, but I think that's because she knows I've been trying to lose weight. It's frustrating at times, but I know eventually I'll get to a place where I'm happy with me and I won't care if other people notice or not :)
  • BritinItaly
    BritinItaly Posts: 17
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    I'd say as well as a new dress get a new bra every 15 lbs you lose too.
  • stormyview
    stormyview Posts: 81 Member
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    Last year I noticed that one of my neighbors had lost a lot of weight. I never commented on it because I worried that she might be sick. I didn't want to rave about how good she looked if it was an unintended and unwanted loss. It's unfortunate, but in my experience, too often a large weight loss is due to cancer or another serious illness.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,952 Member
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    People are afraid to mention it these days because no one wants to end up hurting a person who is clearly working hard. Rest assured, people have noticed! But they're trying to be nice by not saying anything. Seems backwards.

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