My Journey

April 4th 2014. Doctors appointment, of course I had to go through the pain of being weighed. At 5'3 and 208 pounds things were not looking or feeling so great on my body. My doctor could see the shame written all over me. I had a problem, a problem that many people live with, and you continuously struggle your whole life going up and down on the scale. I am a food addict. I use it for happiness, comfort and pain. But in all reality all I am left with in the end is shame, low self esteem and lots of extra pounds. I explained all of these things to the doctor and generally I am a very private person, it was agonizing. The doctor decided I needed something more than a low calorie diet, that is when he introduced me to Phentermine 37.5.He told me I'm not going to sugar coat it, it will help with your appetite, but you have to do the work and you have to change your thoughts. When I left his office I was not to hopeful, many things had not worked in the past. I went home and threw all the junk food out that I could find in my house. Next step was going grocery shopping and making completely different food choices. The next morning I woke up thinking this is my last chance, I have to get this right. During these past 11 weeks I have had many ups and downs. Many times I felt like eating junk, lots of it. The third day in to be exact. But every time I turned away from food I got a little piece of my self back, day by day. The person who had been buried inside of me, the person I really am started to make an appearance. Really for me its not about my clothes, or a little tiny swimsuit I want to wear. Its about getting me back and conquering my food demon. Of course everyone wants to look and feel good, but overall I want my life back. Next week I have to make another appearance at the doctors, Many things have changed since that agonizing day 11 weeks ago, many pounds down 54 to be exact, but more importantly I have squashed the shame and guilt. I have 29 pounds to go until I reach my goal. God willing I will get there. My requirements 800 Calories a day, 30 mins of low impact exercise, WATER WATER WATER, Vitamins and Phentermine 37.5. Once I reach my goal Under doctors supervision I will add 100 calories in week by week of course along with my exercise and new eating habits, until I reach the spot where I gain a pound then that is where I will stay with calorie intake. Many people will call me CRAZY many will have something negative to say. I am totally fine with that. For me it was the right choice. Sitting in my home like a hermit ashamed and eating for comfort sounds much crazier to me now that I have made it over half way there. Medication has side effects, but none that I wasn't already bound for with my extreme eating habits and overweight body. If it is to be, Its up to me.