Loss & Gain vicious cycle

Hi all,
I've been struggling with weight problem for more than 10 years. I was a chubby kid with almost no exercise, but my weight dramatically increased in my adolescent years, I gained over 50 lbs during this period. Since then, I'm in a loss & gain vicious cycle, that's to say, I lose 20 lbs then I gain it all back, sometimes even more. I'm diagnosed with PCOS but I'm not under drug treatment because I can lose weight whenever I try and I don't have any problem with my menstrual cycle. The real problem is that I can't do a life-long change in my life, in my eating habits. I'm on a diet for 3 months, losing 20-30 lbs, and then I have binge eating weeks when I cannot stop myself from eating! I'm not in a search of short-term solution, I want life-long solution that will keep me from gaining all the lost weight back. How did you achieve this? What did you do? Please give me suggestions because I don't know really what to do.

Regards,
Leila

Replies

  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    I'm sure a mod will consider this a vile attack upon you, however.

    Have you looked into possibly engaging a psych professional? Basically just to review your relationship with food, and set up strategies for avoiding the binges?

    Essentially, a lifelong diet is something you can stick with and won't cause bingeing, or feelings of "missing out".
  • markjacobs1987
    markjacobs1987 Posts: 162 Member
    Hi Leila,
    I certainly know how frustrating it can be to be on a loss and gain cycle. I did the same thing myself for years before finally getting to the point where I found something that worked and was able to keep the weight off. The main thing is to just stay committed to eating healthy and making sure to exercise at least 5 times a week. You don't want to do a diet that only last 3 months and go back to the old habits. You want to do something that is doable and can be maintained long-term as a lifestyle change. The key is to find healthy alternatives to things you like to eat. For example, instead of having deep fried chicken wings I cut up chicken breasts into wing size pieces and have those with buffalo sauce. Instead of sour cream on tacos use greek yogurt, etc. Also, this doesn't mean that you can't ever treat yourself. As long as 80% of what you eat is healthy you can treat yourself to a dessert or some kind of treat and be ok. The important thing is to not go overboard and to stay in the calorie range that works for you. If you have a hard time with staying in that range try planning your meals for the day so you know exactly how much you are going to eat during the day and don't go over that. I hope this helps. Feel free to ask me any questions if you have them.
  • BillRicks1
    BillRicks1 Posts: 473 Member
    You are correct, you don't need another diet but a lifestyle change. For me, it's really a mindset sort of thing. I have come to think of calories as fuel for the body. Not really much more. I know there are those who center their lives around food, but for me, and my lifestyle, my health come first.
  • dlionsmane
    dlionsmane Posts: 674 Member
    Not knowing anything about you but what you have stated here I will say one thing. You are most likely being too restrictive in your 'diet' mentality. Stop dieting!! If you want sustainability Stop being so restrictive. How tall are you? How much do you weigh? 1200 calories may not be enough. It usually isn't for most adults. And is that total consumed or NET calories?
  • wibutterflymagic
    wibutterflymagic Posts: 788 Member
    Well, the first problem is that you are looking at the change as a "diet". Why can't you make life-long changes? If you can do restriction diets for 3mos then you can definitely make smaller consistant changes that you can hold on to for a longer time. Making lifestyle eating changes doesn't mean you have to deny yourself things you love. It means making healthier, smarter choices most of the time while still eating things you love. You need to find what your daily calorie allowance is.... http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/ is a good site for this.

    You can either calculate your daily goal at a sedentary lifestyle and then log all of your exercise each day and eat back those calories that day or you can calculate your weekly activity into your daily goal and then you eat a consistant amount of calories everyday. I've done both and I prefer the later. It just makes things easier. You need to learn portion control. You need to measure and weigh your foods and just eat within your calorie goal.

    Start out slow....if you're a soda drinker drop your intake to a can every couple of days or once a week. Add more veggies to your meals, have a side salad with your slice of pizza instead of more cheese bread etc. Get away from the horrible boxed and frozen meals and make your own. I LOVE sweets. I still eat them almost on a daily basis. I just have to watch how much and it fits within my calorie goal. When you deny yourself you are going to binge. My binges these days consist of eating a handful of potato chips or candy(maybe 350cal) instead of ingesting a 2000 cal meal full of just fat and sodium. Even on days where I go over my goal I know I will make it up on my other days when I'm under goal.

    By the was I have a great niece named Athena. Friend me if you'd like support in a no nonsense manner.
  • IoveIy
    IoveIy Posts: 27 Member
    I used to be chubby as a kid, but as I became older, I took control of my eating habits once and for all. Now, I weigh 5'4 116 lbs. (I have a small frame.) and have been able to maintain this weight for years.

    The best advice I can give you is:

    1) Know your BMR and TDEE if you don't already. http://iifym.com/iifym-calculator/ Use this calculator to find those numbers out. Then, calculate your weekly fat loss rate. You might already know how to do this, but if not, here's an example:

    My TDEE is 1533. If I were to eat 1200 calories a day, I create a caloric deficit of 333 calories a day, or 2331 calories a week. If I divide that by 3500 (calories in a lb. of fat), I would lost .6 lbs. of fat per week (and more in water weight). Of course, my fat loss rate is slow because I am in the normal weight range.

    2) **Pick a sustainable caloric deficit.** Don't try to starve yourself (AKA net below 1200 calories) because you can't sustain that without either relapsing or risking having a heart attack down the road. It might work for a short amount of time, but you would slow down your metabolism tremendously, so even if you did it for a short time and it worked, when you start eating normally again (because you'll have to if you want to survive), the weight is going to come back on due to your slowed metabolism. So, don't go below 1200 no matter what!

    3) Weigh yourself weekly or even monthly (if you can handle the suspense). Since your weight fluctuates daily due to water weight fluctuation, it can be depressing to see the scale go up ~2 lbs. one day even if you know it's just water. Monthly weigh-ins are the best because you will def see good results if you diet properly.

    4) You just have to come to terms with the fact that binge eating isn't doing you any favors. If you go on a diet and you're eating mostly vegetables, fish, light yogurts, or what have you, you can't get off the diet by switching to white breads, pastas, pizzas, burgers, chocolate, and ice cream. You have to eat the same foods, but just increase the amounts of those foods or add some healthy snacks here and there to get up to your maintenance calories. This doesn't mean you can't have something bad for you once in a while, but if you can limit yourself, so that you at least stay within your calorie goal, it would be a lot better. However, IMO, you should cut out as much junk as possible and eventually, if you stick with it long enough, you won't even crave those foods anymore! It's true! It happened to me.


    Above all, the most important thing you have to do is be tough on yourself, but don't starve yourself. Eat at a reasonable caloric deficit, so that you won't be super hungry and go binge.

    Just stay strong and don't give up! Think about how great you'll look afterwards and look up pictures and videos of what you want to look like, and remember, you're doing this because it won't only help you physically, but in every aspect of your life.

    "Eating something against your diet is only enjoyable for as long as it takes to devour it. Immediately after, you're stuck with the guilt and you've only prolonged your goal." - Me
  • MindyM80
    MindyM80 Posts: 41 Member
    I'm sure a mod will consider this a vile attack upon you, however.

    Have you looked into possibly engaging a psych professional? Basically just to review your relationship with food, and set up strategies for avoiding the binges?

    Essentially, a lifelong diet is something you can stick with and won't cause bingeing, or feelings of "missing out".

    i agree, there might be some emotional issues that are holding you back. you can start by talking with you primary care physician. there are also wellness programs that guide you, where you check in regularly, manage your lipids, and also can learn to cook healthy meals.
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  • Shalaurise
    Shalaurise Posts: 707 Member
    I am there with you. I was never skinny and for me the bulk of my weight came on with my pregnancies. I don't have any great advice or solutions, but I wanted to let you know that there are other's of us on here that are in the same boat. This site is not just success stories telling you that you can do it cause they did. There are people here still struggling to make that lifestyle change just like you.

    I work hard to keep my calories down and then get griped at about how the items I have eaten are still wrong. I cook and have no idea what kind of calories are in the food I am making and take a stab in the dark at it. I wake up exhausted and can't be bothered to make a "healthy" snack. I struggle every day to not give up and yet some days, I do. I go months without tracking anything because "I don't care. I just want to be happy." Eventually, I realize things like... I didn't get that job because I am fat, not because I wasn't the most qualified.... and I jump back on the I can do this bandwagon. I mean, how hard can it be? Really hard. But we can do it right? For me, I need the right motivation and I haven't really found it. I don't really want to change my lifestyle, I just want to meet other's expectations so I stand a fighting chance at getting that promotion.

    Look inside. Why do you try? Why do you slip back?
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    Not knowing anything about you but what you have stated here I will say one thing. You are most likely being too restrictive in your 'diet' mentality. Stop dieting!! If you want sustainability Stop being so restrictive. How tall are you? How much do you weigh? 1200 calories may not be enough. It usually isn't for most adults. And is that total consumed or NET calories?

    This.

    You need to decided that it's okay to lose it slowly. Every time you do a crash diet, you lose muscle. This means that every time you lose the weight quickly, you've made your metabolism that much slower. It might only be a tiny bit each time but if you repeat the cycle over and over and over again, it begins to add up.

    You need to eat at a MODEST deficit. Find out how many calories your body uses in a day and only subtract 200 to 500. Make sure you eat enough protein and do enough resistance training (body weight to start is fine) in order to maintain the muscle you have left.

    Don't go insane with exercise. Do things you can picture yourself doing for years. Start with walking a few miles a day. Once you've kept up with that, try a bit more of something you enjoy (or best tolerate) like running, biking, swimming, weight lifting, etc.

    Stop with the all or nothing mentality.

    I know what you're going though. I used to do the exact same thing and I did it for 30 years. Don't set goals of '30 lbs by X date'. Set a goal of 'a little today, a little tomorrow and a little the next'. You need to take the pressure off yourself and let yourself breathe. The moment YOU make it a manageable task will be the moment you're able to manage it.

    Good luck.
  • I'm sure a mod will consider this a vile attack upon you, however.

    Have you looked into possibly engaging a psych professional? Basically just to review your relationship with food, and set up strategies for avoiding the binges?

    Essentially, a lifelong diet is something you can stick with and won't cause bingeing, or feelings of "missing out".
    i agree, there might be some emotional issues that are holding you back. you can start by talking with you primary care physician. there are also wellness programs that guide you, where you check in regularly, manage your lipids, and also can learn to cook healthy meals.

    I've begun thinking that I have a binge eating disorder because when I'm under stress, I immediately eat anything I find around, and can't stop myself from eating. It does not matter whether or not I feel hungry.
  • Hi Leila,
    I certainly know how frustrating it can be to be on a loss and gain cycle. I did the same thing myself for years before finally getting to the point where I found something that worked and was able to keep the weight off. The main thing is to just stay committed to eating healthy and making sure to exercise at least 5 times a week. You don't want to do a diet that only last 3 months and go back to the old habits. You want to do something that is doable and can be maintained long-term as a lifestyle change. The key is to find healthy alternatives to things you like to eat. For example, instead of having deep fried chicken wings I cut up chicken breasts into wing size pieces and have those with buffalo sauce. Instead of sour cream on tacos use greek yogurt, etc. Also, this doesn't mean that you can't ever treat yourself. As long as 80% of what you eat is healthy you can treat yourself to a dessert or some kind of treat and be ok. The important thing is to not go overboard and to stay in the calorie range that works for you. If you have a hard time with staying in that range try planning your meals for the day so you know exactly how much you are going to eat during the day and don't go over that. I hope this helps. Feel free to ask me any questions if you have them.

    Thanks a lot for your support. You're right, I should focus on eating healty rather than focusing only calorie intake. While I'm on a diet, I restrict my daily calorie intake but I continue eating junk food, and this triggers binge eating.
  • You are correct, you don't need another diet but a lifestyle change. For me, it's really a mindset sort of thing. I have come to think of calories as fuel for the body. Not really much more. I know there are those who center their lives around food, but for me, and my lifestyle, my health come first.

    You're a good inspiration. I hope I'll change my attitude towards food & eating.

    Not knowing anything about you but what you have stated here I will say one thing. You are most likely being too restrictive in your 'diet' mentality. Stop dieting!! If you want sustainability Stop being so restrictive. How tall are you? How much do you weigh? 1200 calories may not be enough. It usually isn't for most adults. And is that total consumed or NET calories?

    I'm 5'7" and 177 lbs.
    My BMR is around 1300-1400 calories (due to high body fat percentage - 39-40%)
    Without exercise I should consume 1700-1800 calories a day.
    I aim to lose 0.5 kg in a week, so I set my daily calorie goal to 1200 calories. That is the total consumed calories, I don't eat my exercise calories back. I'm not an active person, I walk in a slow pace (2.5 mph-3 mph - 6 miles) 3 or 4 times a week.