excuses, excuses

At one point or another, we are all full of them. I spent the longest time filling my life with excuses; blaming depression on my failures, and shooting down any advice that came my way. "Its too hard," "I've already tried that," "I have depression." Especially that last one. Everyone always told me, "exercise will help with your depression! so will eating well!" I never believed them. I spent years trying to find ways to hide my body and all my short comings instead of looking for ways to fix them. I was convinced that I would be fat and undesirable forever. My life sucked, I would "try so hard" and never get anywhere. No one could help, I was doomed. Then one day, I woke up. I mean REALLY woke up. I realized there was no one left to pity me anymore. If I wanted help, I had to help myself. If I wanted to be healthy, I had to do it myself. So I did. I used MFP and lost 50 pounds! Along with the weight, I dropped my bad habit of biting my nails and introduced a more active lifestyle in general. I fell off the wagon right after my birthday and gained back about 35 pounds. So from 271 to 220 to 255. Right now I stand tall at 237. Saying 'I can't do this' is something I dropped a long time ago. I know its a simple concept and people tell you this your entire life, but you really can accomplish anything you put your mind to. I understand certain limitations will apply when you factor in medical issues and things of that nature. But just blaming your depression will get you no where! Since depression is such a touchy subject, its easy to just dismiss any critique with 'Oh well that won't work for me because I have a chemical imbalance and there is nothing I can do about it.' Working out and eating healthy foods makes me feel proud. My energy is high and I feel better knowing that I am doing myself little favors every single day. Everyone is different. But find what works for you and get out there and DO IT!! When I got healthy, I was 20 years old, living on my own. No fancy diet plan. No special shake. No gym membership. No real support daily (besides from my loving boyfriend who is 130 and eats whatever he wants lol,) and plenty of personal demons that tried to get in the way. I still have my bad days, but I know now that its not a bad life. I just want the world to know- if I can do this, so can you. Believe in yourself and the rest will come naturally.

"nothing changes, if nothing changes."